When we walked in Axel’s apartment I realized that this would probably be my home for a little while.

I looked at Axel and could see how tense he was as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some water.

I knew he could tell how tense I was too.

I had only just been freed a day ago and now I was getting involved in the life of a man who was about to get into something incredibly serious. Was this the life I really wanted to live? But he was the only one who I knew who could help me.

He stripped his shirt off and walked over to me, kissing me suddenly and deeply before walking away and laying down in bed.

I eyed up his muscular body, tracing his pecs and abs as he rubbed his face in frustration. I looked at his tattoos and saw a scar to the right of his abs, I could only assume it was a bullet scar. His life was so dangerous yet I was still so drawn to him, because in all of this danger he stood firm like a rock.

I was confused about everything, I was feeling myself becoming more and more attracted to Axel but I didn’t know if what I felt was real. Whenever he kissed me he sent jolts throughout my body that made me feel like I was making the right choice but it was still so hard for me to trust anyone after everything I had gone through… yet at the same time he trusted me enough to give me a chance to prove who I was, and he promised me that he would help me. He’s made sure that Edgar could never hurt me again.

I felt a bond growing with him but I had to know if he was serious about getting me on the right track. I wanted to know but I didn’t want to put it on him now, not with all of this on his mind, even if it was a promise.

“I know what you’re thinking he said” looking at me with his soft blue eyes.

“Is that so?” I said giving a half smile.

“You’re wondering how you fit into all of this, it’s a fair question.”

He was so good at reading me it wasn’t even fair.

“Well yeah, there’s just so much going on. I’ve just kinda been thrust into it and I don’t really know what to do. I mean you said you wanted to help me but you also have to deal with that other club and find out who killed your friend. I understand if it’s a lot to put on your plate… I just don’t know what to do about it” I said rubbing my own arm.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to stick around just because of what I did to Edgar, if you want to be free you can walk out that door right now and I wouldn’t put one ounce of blame on you, hell I’d even give you some money for the road, I always keep a few thousand hidden around the apartment.”

“I don’t want to leave” I said looking at him straight in the eye. “This might be hard to believe but you’re the most stable man I’ve ever known, you know what you want and you go out and get it, you know what’s right and what’s wrong. Even if you run this club full of men who have been to prison and who have killed you still have something that I’ve been searching for in men my whole life; compassion.”

He chuckled “don’t let the others hear that they’ll never let me live it down.”

I giggled and walked towards him, for the first night of my life I felt safe. I didn’t have to fear when Edgar would come downstairs and try to force himself on me, I didn’t have to worry about waking up with him on top of me, I didn’t have to go to sleep clutching my blanket for dear life, for the first time in nearly two years I could sleep soundly.

Axel had brought my blanket up from his bike back and neatly folded it on one of his chairs, but for tonight I felt like I didn’t need it.

I looked at the empty spot on Axel’s bed, I was worried that I would be uncomfortable sleeping next to a man so soon but I took a deep breath and went for it.

As soon as I got in bed my worries about how I would feel vanished, somehow this actually felt natural.

“I’m so sorry. About your friend I mean.”

“He’s in a better place now, at least I like to think he is.”

“I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me but I think you’ll make a great president, Clay must have known it too if he chose you over the hundreds of people there.”

“Part of me always knew I’d have this job, I just never wanted to face the reality of it” he replied.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what did he whisper to you?”

He paused for a moment, it didn’t look like he was coming up with a lie, it looked like he was trying to figure out if he should actually tell me.

“He said… that I should lead this club out of this town.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t really know, there must have been a reason why Clay thought it was a good idea. It’s just that we have our roots here, our history…”

“Maybe he thought it was for the best. Did he say where to go?” I asked.

“No, nothing. Back in the old days he did talk about Wyoming though…”

I let him trail off as I looked up at the ceiling, it was amazing how much my life had changed in just 24 hours. All for the better, I just wanted Axel to feel as good as I felt, I couldn’t imagine everything going through his mind after what he just went through.

I glanced over at Axel’s shirtless body as he looked out of his window onto the streets below. I couldn’t believe his level of self control, I had told him earlier that I was unsure about all of this and he actually understood where I was coming from.

I would have thought that a man fresh out of jail would want to ravage a young girl in his bed.

To pin me down and kiss my neck, to tear off my underwear, to feel his breath in between my legs…

I tried to calm myself down but all I could do was imagine that body on top of me, imagine him thrusting into me again and again as I moaned his name into his ear. He had taken me away from Edgar and now I was imagining him taking something that Edgar had desired since he bought me, my virginity.

I knew I wasn’t ready for it, not yet, and who even knew if it would be Axel that would be my first. But I did now that I wanted to feel some intimacy with him, to touch and feel him and to have those shivers go down my spine again.

I slowly put my hand on his core, feeling the heat of his skin as I ran my hand up and down his chiseled abs. He turned and looked at me and our eyes met, I could already feel myself getting lost in his deep blues. I wanted to take his mind off of everything that was happening, if only for a moment.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, kissing me again and again as I felt his body against mine. Each kiss from him was better than the last.

He rolled over on top of me and held my hands down as our lips locked together. I freed my hand and ran it down his face and jaw before holding him by the chin.

He broke our kiss and began kissing me down the side of my neck, I felt his cock through his pants rubbing up against me. Oh my god it was so huge, are all guys this big?

I dug my nails into his back as he ran his hands up my shirt, getting closer and closer to my breasts, with every inch that his hand slid up he sent chills all over my body.

It was all going so well, I wanted him and he wanted me, but suddenly I became anxious. Suddenly my heart began racing the same way it did whenever Edgar came downstairs.

I grabbed Axel’s hand by the wrist, stopping him from going up any further. He looked at me in confusion and then understanding as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you, I should have known better” he said to me softly as he took my hand in his. God now I felt like I just made him feel worse, losing his friend and then having a girl in bed who was too afraid to show intimacy.

“It’s not your fault” I said getting the strength to open my eyes up and look at him. “I do want you, I want you to be my first, I want you to give me what I missed out on these past few years. It’s just that he still haunts my thoughts, I still need a little more time.”

He sighed but kissed me on the cheek, his rough and manly hands squeezing my soft and delicate ones. I could tell he was frustrated, I could tell he was more horny then he had probably been in years, that he had a lot on his mind that he just wanted to get out.

He had no real obligation to stick with me, hell he could have left his bed and gone to the double H bar to be with the dozens of women that hung out there, I’m sure there would be tons of women who would love to hop on and ride the now president of the Desert Vultures. Yet he stayed here.

He rolled off of me but pulled me in, embracing me as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I gave him small kisses on his bare chest to show that I did want him, to show that I was just a young girl dealing with confusion and that I was grateful to have him. I just didn’t know where things were going right now.

I looked up at him to see him staring out into space, contemplating. He probably had so much on his mind, he just needed something to relieve his stress.

I wish I could have helped him feel good, to help him forget his troubles. All I did was make it worse.

God what was I thinking.

I wish I could be normal.