Hannah and I stood alone in my apartment, I didn’t even know what to say.

Wyatt dropped us off and took Sharpe and Mason with him, leaving Hannah and I to sort out things between us.

I stared at the $5000 now sitting on my counter, I wasn’t angry that she took it, hell if I had known she was leaving I probably would have given her 10 or even 15 grand to get her going. I just didn’t know that I had let things get so bad that she would leave without a word in the middle of the night.

I looked at her and our eyes met, she looked like she was afraid of me, could you blame her? That anger I felt when I shot that man back in the restaurant, every time I pulled that trigger I was imagining myself shooting Donnelly, every shot I pumped into him reminded me about how I didn’t put a bullet in the man that mattered. Not to say that fucker at the bar didn’t deserve what he got for trying to kill Hannah and injure Wyatt.

“Why did you leave?” I asked bluntly, unable to even look at her.

“I thought you said I could go at any time?” she replied.

“I know. That offer still stands, if you want to take that money on the counter and go right now then I won’t stop you. I only went looking for you because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t find out the reason why you left me. Guess I showed up at the right time, who knows what would have happened.”

“I left you because I was afraid for myself” she replied. “I left because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fit into your life no matter how hard I tried. As long as Donnelly has a grip on your conscious, as long as your club is fighting another, and as long as those police are coming at you with everything they have I just can’t fit into your life. It’s not just the danger aspect it’s that this stuff is consuming you, and I don’t want to change who you are so I just… I just had to leave.”

“Give me another chance” I said looking deep into her eyes and walking up to her.

“It’s not about chances it’s about the lifestyle… I need to try and give myself a normal life. After two years of being struck in a basement and kept prisoner I owe it to myself to try and fight for a normal life. That doesn’t mean… that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you for who you are and for everything that you’ve done and for what you want to give me but this is a lifestyle I don’t think I can fit into. What I feel for you is something I’ve never felt before and it hurts that I think it just might not be able to work...”

I took her hands in mine and looked at her, I looked at the contours of her lips and watched as she struggled not to frown. She said she loved me, she actually told me she loved me. I don’t know how many girls have told me that, all those other times their words just rolled off of me like nothing, but when she said it I could feel it deep down. I guess it was something neither of us had too much experience in.

“Let me end this” I said. “Give me a chance to end everything that’s going wrong and I promise you I can give you the stable life you deserve. I can give you a life of security, one where I really can protect you no matter what, even if I can just return this club to what it was before I got thrown in jail everything will be stable. I promise you that.”

“You made a promise to protect me before, and then you made the choice to run off and try to kill Donnelly. I know it was my fault I was in that situation to begin with but what if that happens again and I have no control over the situation? I’ve only just gotten my life back I can’t risk getting it taken away from me.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to just give me a few days to sort everything out.”

I pulled her close to me and after a few seconds she looked up into my eyes, I could tell that she wanted to believe me, she wanted us to work. I wanted to be with her, I knew I messed up but she was the greatest girl to ever walk into my life, and I knew that if the club life returned to what it was just a few years ago that we could be together.

“These days that I’m asking for...” I continued. “It might be tough, you’ll want to quit this life and you’ll want to quit me… but I promise you that if you stick it out with me until the end that it’ll be worth every minute. I want you in my life, and I’d do anything to make it possible.”

“Just promise me one thing” she said looking up at me longingly.

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you won’t let me change who you are, that when all of this is done you’ll still be the same man that I care about here and now, the same man who made me feel the first good emotions I’ve had in years-”

I put my fingers to her mouth, just like I did when I first met her in the bar, it was only a few days ago but god damn it felt like months.

“I’ll be the same man, but with a lot of weight and guilt off of my shoulders.”

She smiled at me, a genuine smile that cut through the sadness that was in her eyes just moments ago. I could tell she was still hesitant, but she said the words I wanted to hear.

“Ok, if you mean everything that you just told me, then I’ll give you another chance.”