Chapter 3
The stars were bright overhead as Laney crept out the rear entrance of the clubhouse. She didn’t expect anyone else to be awake, mostly because the rest of the club had gone to their own room hours ago. It was the middle of the night, anyways.
The night air was crisp so Laney tugged her sweater closer around her shoulders, her long hair getting in the way of the buttons. She didn’t make a sound as she rounded the brick wall that kept the rest of the parking lot out of view. The place was all but deserted save a couple of wooden picnic tables scattered around the aged cement.
Laney headed for the one closest to her, enjoying the solitude and the still night air. The moon was large and bright and slightly golden as she looked up at the sky again.
It would be perfect were she not still coming down from an awful nightmare.
Don’t think about it.
Don’t even go there…
It wouldn’t matter one way or another for Laney, she’d remember everything about her downfall until the day she died.
As she laid against the top of the table, her hair spilling all around her like an oil slick, her shoulder shivering from a stiff breeze, Laney thought of her brother.
She missed him like crazy, wanted nothing more than to talk to him just one more time, to hear his voice for a matter of seconds at least.
But, she wouldn’t ever get that.
Fuck, Laney was the farthest away from the closure she needed that she’d ever been.
“Laney? What are you doin’ out here? It’s chilly as hell.”
Axel’s voice startled her so hard she almost fell over the side of the picnic table. Warm hands caught her around the waist, and Laney did her best not to flinch out of his hold.
“I can’t sleep,” She murmured.
His dark eyes came into view, his long hair tied up and out of his face. He was taller than her by a few inches at least, and wider times two, but for some reason that comforted her. His hands were still around her waist and his face was tilted close to hers so he could see into her eyes, and Laney didn’t want to move away.
His presence calmed her, like a balm to a burn.
“You should get back inside before you get sick. That’s the last thing you need right now,” He suggested.
Laney slowly shook her head.
“I don’t want to go back inside yet. I don’t want to close my eyes,” She heard herself whisper.
Why did I just tell him that?
Her admittance was like acid on her tongue when she realized what she’d said, but Axel didn’t make a big deal out of it. He simply nodded and pointed towards the mountains.
“Those are part of the reason I bought the land here. When the shit in my head gets too loud, I just come out here and stare for a while. Usually makes me feel better.”
Laney appreciated his honesty, and agreed that the mountains were a gorgeous sight to behold.
“I prefer the sky, actually.”
She pointed upwards and Axel’s gaze flittered towards the bright stars and the vibrant moon, a small smile coasting across his mouth. Laney hadn’t actually taken the time to look at him before, but with Ashley’s description lingering in the back of her mind, she decided to do so.
His eyes were dark, but they were framed by lashes so long they almost curled. It gave them a softer look, at least, Laney thought so. His face was littered with small scars, including one that ran through his left eyebrow. His nose was slightly crooked, presumably from being broken far too many times, and his jaw was square and covered in dark hair. His tanned skin was dark, especially compared to hers, and as Laney studied closer, she realized that his tattoos covered even more scars.
“What are you lookin’ at me like that for?,” He asked gruffly.
Laney’s gaze flew to his as she swallowed audibly, trying to think of a lie.
Instead, she told him the truth.
“I’m studying you.”
His lips quirked slightly, his hands shifting ever so slightly, his grip tightening almost imperceptibly.
“Studyin’ me? A woman like you should be running in the opposite direction, not movin’ closer.”
Laney realized then that she had moved closer to him, had flattened her palms against the soft material of his t-shirt across his chest. For the barest of seconds, she didn’t want to let go.
She didn’t want anything from him but the warmth, the comfort, that he offered her. It’d been a long time since she accepted a touch from anyone, and for some reason, Axel seemed like the perfect candidate to do so with.
“Sorry,” She murmured.
“Don’t apologize. Never show a monster like me weakness, Laney.”
A monster?
“You’re not a monster,” She whispered.
Their eyes were locked on one another with a magnetic force Laney didn’t understand. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t, and apparently Axel was struggling with the same thing. It felt so foreign to her, so strange, to not want to run away.
Monster.
“I am a monster, Laney. Don’t let this gentle moment fool you. You’re prey for a man like me.”
Laney swallowed all the questions burning at the back of her throat as she stared up at the man holding her so tenderly.
His eyes were filled with a warmth she hadn’t experienced in a long, long time. It was contradictory to what he was telling her, to what she was feeling inside. Laney was an excellent judge of character; she always knew about things before they happened. Laney could walk into a room and feel out the energy of anyone she passed by without even breaking a sweat.
Touching Axel, being close to him, that gave Laney a pretty good indication about his character.
That’s how she knew that he was lying.
“You’re not a monster. I can feel it. Maybe you’re a little lost, maybe you’re a little weary like me, but a monster? No. I can see it in your eyes.”
Axel’s eyes widened slightly, barely at all, but Laney still saw it.
He sucked in a harsh breath before he let his hands fall to his sides, leaving Laney cold once again.
“See, that’s the problem. When I look into your eyes, you know what I see?”
Laney thought she already knew the answer to that, but she didn’t say a word.
Let him figure it out on his own.
Axel wrapped a strand of hair around his finger, the dark locks nearly glimmering in the moonlight.
“Nothing. I don’t see a damn thing when I look into your eyes. I recognize that look, Laney Jackson. I’ve been there. I know that fuckin’ feeling. But, I ain’t gonna help you chase the storm. Not tonight, not ever. I’m a monster. I’ll ruin whatever the hell you got left, and I couldn’t bear to do that to you. Go back inside, go to bed, and pray. Pray that whatever he took from you ain’t gone forever,” Axel said heatedly.
Laney felt her eyes narrow as she slowly spread her arms wide, her teeth gnashing wildly for a moment.
“He? What he took from me? What makes you think there’s a he?”
Axel laughed, and the sound grated on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
“Baby, look at you! You’re the hottest mess I’ve ever seen, and I know for a fact that Rider ain’t the only thing hauntin’ your mind. It’s written all over your face.”
Laney’s chest expanded roughly as she shook her head against his words. They settled on her skin like ivy on the vine and the only thing that kept her from crying was the anger roiling under her skin.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know Ox dropped your looney ass off here so you could get your head straight. I know I literally picked Esme up off the floor in much the same state, and guess what, it ain’t the end of the world. Whatever the fuck you’re goin’ through, it ain’t the end of the world!”
Feeling like Axel had struck her, Laney took a step back and shook her head. Her hair flew around her like a dark halo, as she stared Axel right in the eyes.
“You don’t know what I’m going through. You have no comprehension. But, you’re right about one thing. You are a monster.”
With that said, she turned her back to the predator watching her through narrowed eyes and made her way back inside, her hands balled into fists.
There’s sadness, and then there’s anger, and then there’s Laney’s least favorite thing about all of it: grief.
At that moment, she felt all three; Sadness at what she’d lost, anger at what she’d never get back, and grief at the knowledge that she’d given it all away of her own free will.