Chapter 2
Laney sat down on the edge of her bed and looked around the bland room for the hundredth time.
This is not what I had in mind when I told Emily and Green I would move to Bryson City.
With full intentions to work at Sexy Sinners behind the scenes, Laney had traveled the distance to move herself to Bryson City. In reality, she didn’t have anywhere else to go. There wasn’t anywhere else that really made any sense for her to go, either. Miles was here. Her nephew, not her brother, and the reality of that was a crushing truth that nearly made her short of breath.
But, that wasn’t all.
That wasn’t the only thing she was carrying around deep down inside of herself. The truth was an ugly, bitter thing, that made her want to crawl into a hole and disappear much like her brother did. But, she wasn’t dead…
Was she?
It felt like it.
Cold, and numb, and then cold again. That’s how she felt day in and day out. Sometimes her tendons would stretch too tightly around her bony frame and her agony would pulse beneath her paper-thin-skin, and then all of a sudden it would feel like she was dying after all.
And, then, she would wake up and everything would go cold again…
Then numb.
It was a vicious cycle that Laney didn’t know how to escape, but at the same time, it was all she had left. It was all she had to offer her own reflection when she found herself wondering.
Wondering what she’d done wrong.
Wondering where she fell short.
Wondering why she’d let a man have all the best pieces of her.
Laney stood, unzipped her duffle, pulled out her pack of cigarettes. The little green box felt light in her hand, a telltale sign she’d smoked too much as of late, but that wasn’t the worst of her sins.
Her hands fell to her empty belly, the flat curve of her abdomen a solid reminder of her worst sin yet.
Tears filled her eyes as she sucked in a harsh breath that had her teeth clacking together in pain as she clenched her eyes closed in an effort to trap the salty sadness between her lashes.
You deserve this.
You deserve the pain setting your veins on fire right now, Laney.
It was true and she couldn’t deny it and she knew that if confronted, she wouldn’t deny it. She did deserve the sting of the truth, no matter how long the pain lasted. No matter how long the mourning or the grief or the utter sadness clung to her skin, she deserved it. She wouldn’t argue that point, ever.
With a huff, Laney fought back the tears as she turned to put away her meager belongings. No more house on a hill, no more address, no more perfectly coordinated décor tailored to her tastes.
No, her life was now a dusty duffle and three tiny drawers that would house her clothes. Her life was now questioning everything anyone ever told her because people lie and she didn’t have the heart to believe anyone or anything anymore.
Heart?
Like the heartbeat you silenced?
Pressing a hand to her chest, Laney fought back the panic and the overwhelming urge to tear apart her soul at the seams, and shoved her clothes into the drawers she was ready to fall into. Her bony arms came into view as she slid her long sweater from her shoulders and dropped it onto the bed. When she stood once more, she realized there was a small bathroom inside her bedroom and she caught sight of herself in the mirror above the sink. She froze, unable to look away but filled with self-loathing just the same.
This is what you deserve.
This, Laney Jackson, is your karma.
“Karma for what?”
If what she’d suffered through in the last three months was her karma, she must have fucked up bad somewhere else along the way. All of her worst fears had nearly swallowed her whole…
Her brother died.
Her husband left her.
She lost her baby.
What the fuck else do I have left to lose?
That was the million-dollar-scary-as-fuck question that she couldn’t answer. Because, if she had nothing left to lose, then she also had nothing left to live for, and that brought her right back to the comfortably numb phase of her day. Looking away from her reflection, Laney wiped away her tears and moved towards the window she’d originally intended on smoking her cigarette out of. The wide panes of glass showed her the entire parking lot and some of the mountains behind it, a gorgeous view in reality, but that didn’t register. Nothing did.
Nothing except the burn of the nicotine in her lungs as she inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering closed. Her long hair fell into her face as she turned to see the back side of the parking lot, her gaze locking on none other than Axel himself. He was a big man, a scary man, with scars and long hair and tanned skin that looked like it had seen its fair share of sharp edges. He resembled Tarzan if she were being honest with herself, and any man that had his reputation should scare the living daylights out of a woman.
Laney found him intriguing, even though she understood just how scary he could be if he wanted to.
He’d been reserved and cautious upon approaching her, but she could tell there was a barely tamed savage beneath his skin. His bruised knuckles and battered face told her that. She’s heard of his legendary fights with Fury.
No, Axel was not a man to be trifled with.
As she smoked her cigarette all the way down to the filter, she watched him, her green eyes never leaving the strong curve of his back. His wide shoulders nearly blocked out the sun and his jeans were a snug fit beneath his cut, but it was the patches lining the worn leather that caught her eye. She knew what some of those meant- he was a killer- and that alone should have had her running for her life in the opposite direction.
Instead, she wanted to ask him what he’d meant earlier.
“I get it, okay? We’ve all been where you are. Do what you need to heal.”
Did he truly understand what she’d endured? Did he know the truth? Only Emily knew the real truth (part of it anyways), and that was enough of a condemnation for Laney. Anyone knowing the truth was enough to make her skin crawl, but it would be pretty hard for her to escape it.
It followed her everywhere.
It lurked in the shadows, in her dreams, in every waking thought…
A soft knock on her door had her turning to face it, only to be met with the pretty face of a woman she’d never met before.
“I know you’re probably still settling in, but I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Ashley, Axel’s sister.”
Ashley smiled at her, and Laney could see one dimple in her left cheek. She was pretty with long red hair and bright blue eyes. She looked nothing like Axel as far as Laney was concerned, but who was she to judge?
“I’m Laney Jackson. Nice to meet you.”
She tried to be as polite as possible, but she wasn’t really sure she remembered how to interact with other people. It’d been a while since she’d left the confines of her small apartment back home.
This, this entire MC fiasco, was way out of her league. Laney was far out of her comfort zone and she was sure it was written all over her face.
Ashley was still smiling as she glanced around the room, her blue eyes assessing her surroundings.
“We’ll have to get this room touched up a bit, don’t you think? It’s a little boring for my tastes.”
Laney didn’t really care as she didn’t see herself staying very long.
“Does it really matter?”
Ashley’s smile faltered for a second before she sighed deeply.
“It’s going to get colder soon, what with Christmas right around the corner. Least we can do is get you warmer bedding.”
Laney nodded her head yes before she gestured towards the window.
“Your brother is very nice.”
That sounds fucking lame.
Your brother is very nice?
Ashley paused before she burst into laughter, her hand falling against her chest as she sucked in a deep breath.
“Are we talking about the same man? Axel? The brunette behemoth with the dark-demon-eyes, who is covered in scars?”
Laney blinked at the description of Axel.
“He’s not that bad,” She defended.
Ashley smiled kindly at her.
“I wasn’t being mean, I was just being honest. I don’t think my brother has been described as nice in at least fifteen years, Laney. I’m happy he was kind to you, he really does have a big heart.”
Laney felt less like an idiot then as she slowly nodded and glimpsed around the room.
“Maybe the place could use some touching up,” She admitted.
Ashley clapped her hands together and nodded happily.
“I knew it! I’ll talk to Axel about us going in to town so we can get some new décor. This bedroom has been empty for a while, so who knows what the hell is tucked up under those sheets.”
Both women looked at the bed with disgusted looks on their faces, knowing full well what a clubhouse full of bikers could get into.
“Right, let’s do that today,” Laney said.
Ashley nodded immediately.
“Amen, girl. Amen.”