Abigail

 

The broken parts of my heart bleed, and it’s all for him.

For the love he lost.

The scars he bears.

The sadness in his eyes as he relives this all for me.

“It wasn’t an accident?” I ask, hating myself for even pushing.

“I don’t know,” he says. “They’re still to deliver the absolute verdict. There are signs it was electrical. It may have been an unfortunate combination of a faulty chemical canister and a spark from one of the generators. It burnt so hot it’s hard to call. So many factors to wade through, and a lot of the evidence was incinerated. They had to identify Mariana from her teeth. Officially, I mean.”

I hate the way I flinch as he tells me.

“Sorry,” he says.

I shake my head. “Don’t be. It’s amazing you’re still alive.” I inch a little closer. “If it was electrical, surely that’s an accident?”

He smiles a terrible smile. “The fire happened at midnight. Two people in that building, Jake and Mariana.”

“That’s pretty late to be working,” I comment.

“We’d had an argument,” he says and my stomach tightens. “She spat at me, told me she was going. I’d have chased her… but…” He stops speaking. “I always chased her. We had a… dynamic…”

I nod. I know exactly what he’s referring to.

“Anyway. I didn’t chase her that night. I couldn’t.” He looks right at me, and there’s more. I know there is. Whatever it is drifts away before he voices it. “I didn’t chase her. I swore to myself I’d had enough of it.”

“And she ended up at the warehouse? With Jake? Isn’t that strange?”

“That bit doesn’t surprise me. Not really. But the rest of it doesn’t add up, not if it was an accident. You see, the chemical vats were stored down the other end of the warehouse. We’re careful with fire regulations, always have been. When the place went up, they were at the top end by the loading bay. You could say maybe someone moved them earlier ready to load, but that doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t on the logs.”

“Mariana moved them herself?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Her or Jake. Or both of them.”

“But why?”

“I have no idea,” he tells me. “Not unless they were planning on burning the place down.”

“You think they were?”

“That’s the million-dollar question.” He shrugs again. “Mariana was wild. Unpredictable. She hated the business, said it made me a workaholic, said she was a tiger in a cage, desperate to run free.” He looks away, takes a breath. “I think sometimes that maybe she was trying to punish me, burn down what she thought I held dear.”

“Seems drastic…” I offer.

“And unfortunate. A boiling pot of unfortunate coincidences. The chemicals being piled up in that one ridiculous location, for starters. Then there was the fact that another of our clients was a supplier of animal bedding. Tightly packed sawdust on high racking created a dust explosion of epic proportions.” He sighs. “They know everything but how it started. According to our official documentation, the fire risk procedures were followed to the letter. Mariana wasn’t even an official employee when that fire happened. They’ve struggled to assign any liability, but by the same token they can’t seem to definitively rule out arson.” He sighs again. “Then again, nobody seems to be willing to write this off as a freak accident, either. In truth, nobody knows.”

I think it through. “What about your brother? What does he say?”

“Amnesia. I suspect it’s selective.”

His tone is bitter and I think better of prying too hard in that direction.

When he sighs again I hear just how strained his chest is. How much he’s hurting.

I notice how his fists are clenched under the water.

My stomach flips as if I’m falling. My heart pains as I try to comprehend how he feels.

“How’s that for secrets?” he asks. “Enough?”

Such pain. Such horrible fucking hurt.

I think of her, Mariana. Of her last moments. Of being trapped behind that door with the flames coming for her.

Of the desperation.

He’s rigid as I go to him. Every muscle tense as I press my body to his and hold him tight. My body feels so soft against his firmness. My edges mould to his, skin on skin. My face in his neck as I breathe.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper and he flinches.

I grip a little tighter, flaying my soul alive against his jagged edges until they come to rest easy. He takes a breath. I hold mine.

My brokenness feels tender against his. I feel so small against him.

And then he holds me. Wraps me in arms so huge they could crush me alive but crush me just enough.

I press my forehead to his, stare into eyes that chase me in my dreams. I see his nightmares staring back at me.

“I was her monster,” he whispers. “It destroyed her.”

“You loved her,” I say. “Right until the end.”

“Just be careful the monster doesn’t destroy you too.”

“I don’t want careful,” I tell him. “I just want you.”

“That’s just as well,” he says. “Because it’s now you I’m chasing in the dark.”

His lips press to mine so slowly. He squeezes the breath from me as he holds me tight.

And then he looks beyond me, up to the house above. There’s a light on when I turn my head. A curtain moves.

He answers before I can ask.

“My sister,” he says.

“I’m totally naked,” I say, like it needs pointing out.

It makes him smile just a little. “That comes with the territory.”

I smile back. “I’m not sure your sister will be all that impressed to find a naked stranger in your garden. It’s hardly a great first impression.”

He tips his head. “You may have a point. I guess we’ll have to resume swimming pool nakedness another day.”

I nod. “I think a rain check would be sensible, yes.”

I smile against his mouth as his lips press to mine.

“Let’s get you home,” he says.

 

* * *

 

Phoenix

 

I climb out of the water first. My jacket is waiting as she pulls herself out after me.

She picks up her shoes and opts to go barefoot.

I’m drenched right through to the bone, dripping water all the way. I hand her the keys to my truck and tell her I’ll be back in a minute.

She nods and smiles.

I’m relieved she still has a smile for me after everything I’ve said tonight.

I ditch my clothes in the porch. Serena heads into the kitchen even as I’m tugging on a pair of fresh boxers from the laundry.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” she says.

I smirk. “She doesn’t think her nakedness will make the best first impression.”

Serena rolls her eyes. “What happened to her clothes?”

“Don’t ask.”

She knows me well enough by now to take my word for it.

“Cam asked for a story tonight,” she tells me.

I smile. “That’s great news. He’s getting better.”

“Three full sentences today.”

I nod. “All in good time. The lad’s a champ. We won’t be able to shut him up in a few months, you wait and see.”

She gestures to the door. “When are you going to introduce them?”

“Abigail and Cameron?”

“Unless you have any other girlfriends you’re not telling me about.”

I pull my jeans on. “She doesn’t know about Cameron yet.”

Her jaw drops. “She doesn’t know you’ve got a son?! That’s a pretty major staple of an introduction, don’t you think?”

“Our introduction wasn’t particularly conventional,” I admit. I meet her eyes. “I’ll tell her. Soon.”

“And then you’ll introduce them?”

I tug on a shirt, then pull her close enough to kiss her head. “All in good time.”

She slaps my arm. “Take the girl home, finish what you started in the swimming pool. Tell her to bring clothes next time.”

She has no idea what we started in the swimming pool, but she’s more right than she knows.

There is a lot more to finish.

A lot more to be said.

She’s already heading back to bed when I pull the door closed behind me.

Abigail is waiting in the truck. Her hand slips straight into mine as I climb in.

“Thanks for the secrets.”

“Thanks for the ear. It’s been a while since someone cared enough to listen.”

I pull away from the house and make a turn for Hereford. We drive in silence most of the way.

Her hand comes to rest on my thigh, and in spite of every harrowing word I’ve spoken this evening, I’m still hard for her.

More fucking hard for her than ever, it seems.

I guess the sense of mortality does wonders for the urge to procreate.

There’s an easiness between us that wasn’t there before. A closeness in pain. Her sadness holding hands with mine.

Now I’ve told her my secrets, I’m even more curious about hers.

I wonder if this could really be a thing, her and me. I wonder if her pieces will fit with mine in a way that Mariana’s didn’t.

I park up in my usual spot when we arrive at hers.

She covers her modesty as best she can as she climbs down from the truck. My jacket swamps her and she moves awkwardly.

“You don’t have to come in,” she says. “If it’s too much, I mean.”

“Am I invited?”

She smirks. “That doesn’t usually hold you back. I hope you’re not losing your bite.”

“I was being polite,” I tell her with a smile. “You could say no. I’d just climb in through the window and make you regret it.”

“I guess I should save us both the trouble,” she says, and slips her hand in mine.

She flicks on the lights in her hallway as I close her door behind me.

My jacket is off her shoulders before she’s even dropped her handbag.

My mouth is fierce. Desperate.

Her body is needy as I hitch her legs up around my waist and pin her to the wall.

My thumb flicks at her tender nipples. Her skin is still clammy, even after the drive.

I walk her to the bedroom and nudge the door open.

I drop her straight onto the bed and drop down on top of her. I’m grinding hard against her pussy in a heartbeat.

“You summoned a monster from the darkness,” I grunt. “Is it everything you were hoping for?”

“More than I was hoping for,” she whispers. “But tonight I want to see the monster in the light.”

She flicks on the lamp before I can protest. Her fingers are under my shirt before I can stop her.

I flinch as her fingertips graze across gnarled skin.

“Let me see you.” Her eyes are open wide. “Please let me see.”

“My scars are hideous,” I tell her, but she shakes her head.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she whispers. “Even your scars will be beautiful.”

Oh fuck, how I feel it in my gut.

This sweet little siren from the deep, opening my sores and kissing them better. Making me feel alive again.

Whole again.

It feels strange to undress for her. Strange to see her wonderment as she trails her fingers down my tattoos.

“So many,” she whispers.

“A whole pile more secrets,” I say. “Each one tells a story. Some of them happier than others.”

“I want to hear them all.” She smiles. “I want to know everything.”

She wriggles out from under me even as her mouth is on mine. It’s tempting to hold her firm and make her appease the throb in my fucking dick, but I don’t. I let her up. She kneels before me, eye to eye, before she dips her head.

She’s so careful as she kisses my collarbone and sweeps her fingers down my back. My skin itches, but I let it. Today, I don’t fight it.

“May I?” she asks.

I love how she asks for permission.

I’m tempted to say no just to hear her beg.

But I don’t.

Not tonight.

“You can have everything you want,” I tell her. “Just know that I’ll take your everything in return.”

She smiles against my neck. Her fingers are soft in my hair.

“My everything is already yours,” she says. “I just wasn’t sure you wanted it.”

Oh, how I fucking want it.

I close my eyes as she moves behind me.