Chapter 22

 

 

 

 

 

Finn

Present Day

 

“You owe me so big for this,” I tell Mike who is making me move his girlfriend’s heavy-ass boxes into his brownstone. On my birthday, no less. On fucking Halloween. One of the busiest nights in the ED. It’s like an ED doctor’s form of crack. Or candy since that’s a more appropriate comparison. Crazy injuries and ridiculous costumes. I love it. In fact, I look forward to it every year.

But he asked me to take the day off so I could help him move her stuff in.

And since he’s my best friend and he perpetually tolerates my bad moods, I said yes.

“Actually, we’re even.”

I pause on the steps of his brownstone and look up at him. “How the hell do you figure that?”

He smirks and I hate that deliberate grin of his. It never leads to anything good. “You’ll see.”

Just as the words pass his lips, the front door of his house swings open and I see Gia Bianchi talking to Monique I-have-no-idea-what-her-last-name-is. “I don’t see why you have to call it snooty-white-people cheese. And for the record, I take offense to that.”

“Only rich white people buy it,” Monique says with a shrug and Gia rolls her eyes.

“Fine,” she huffs out. “I’ll never buy you Robusto again. But you’ll see when you try it that it’s really freaking good and then you’ll be sorry.”

“Told you,” Mike says to me and right now, I want to kick his smug ass. Because I gave up Halloween in the emergency department to move heavy crap and now I have to look at Gia while I do it. He thinks he’s being funny. Or maybe he’s giving me the push he believes I need.

But he’s wrong.

Yes, I want Gia. That hasn’t changed in the weeks since I last saw her. If anything, it’s only gotten worse. Nothing makes you crazier than kissing the woman you’re mad about, knowing it will never happen again. I blame the present I should have never given her. If she hadn’t caught me in the hall stuck in my indecision, then she wouldn’t have asked me to go with her to dinner. And if she hadn’t asked me to dinner, I never would have found myself in that position. I guess it’s not exactly Mike’s fault. He doesn’t know what happened with Gia that night. But that doesn’t mean I can I just laugh this off as some inconsequential thing and ask her out.

Gia and Monique bounce down one more step before they notice us.

Monique smirks.

Gia frowns.

“Afternoon, ladies,” I say. “Care to move out of the way so I can get this box inside without breaking my back?”

Gia steps aside, throwing her friend a glower similar to what I just gave Mike, and then I climb the steps up past her. She does her best not to look at me, but loses the battle and meets my eyes for the briefest of moments.

I haven’t exactly been avoiding Gia, but I definitely haven’t been seeking her out either. I go to a different bar. I don’t eat lunch in the hospital cafeteria. I make sure that when I call for an OB consult, I demand a doctor and not a midwife. I’m an attending, so I pretty much get what I want.

I set the box down in the master bedroom because that’s where it’s labeled to go. When I turn back, Gia is standing on the threshold of the door, watching me with those big aqua eyes of hers. Eyes I still fantasize about gazing up at me while I’m on top of her, fucking her senseless. I nearly got that fantasy. Nearly.

“Sorry,” she says. “I didn’t know you were going to be here otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to help.”

I hate everything she just said to me, but instead of telling her that, I nod.

“It’s fine. Our friends are living together and we work at the same hospital. Seems likely that we’ll run into each other from time to time.”

“Happy birthday,” she says, taking a hesitant step into the room, “I thought about getting you something, but–”

“No,” I cut her off. “It’s better you didn’t.”

“Right,” she says and then she smirks at me with a glint in her eyes. “But do you think we can be friends? Or at least friendly?”

I take a step too. Hesitantly. But shit, this woman is like a magnet of perpetual pain and bliss. “As I recall, you were the one who said we weren’t friends. Not me.”

She smiles and my insides hurt. “Fine. Then I’m saying I’d like to be your friend. I’m saying I don’t want it to be awkward as ass every time we’re in the same room together.”

“No awkward as ass. Got it.”      

She nods her head. “Awesome. So how’ve you been?”

Miserable. Lonely. Aching for you.       

“Good. You?”

“Pretty good. I um…” she pauses, peeking over her shoulder and then takes another step toward me. “I’ve been sort of seeing someone.”

“Sort of?” I try for a smirk, but know I don’t even come close. This might be the worst conversation ever. All I want to do is tell her no. Tell her she can’t sort of be dating someone when she should be with me. Not dating. Not sort of. Just with.

“Yeah,” she laughs the word uncomfortably. “Well, not sort of. I’m seeing someone.”

I turn away from her. Unable to stand it another minute, I pretend to busy myself with boxes that do not need my help. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

She sighs. I don’t know what she was hoping for from me, but I’m hardly about to throw her a parade or a do a happy dance because she met someone. “I’m only telling you because I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else. Like Mike.”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

“Finn?”

I turn to her. Her voice commands it and so I man the hell up and do it. Even if it might eviscerate me to look at her.

Gia takes three strides across the room until she’s directly in front of me. I can smell her. Feel her warmth. See the different flecks of green and blue in her eyes. Admire the small freckle on the upper left crest of her cheek.

“I hope you find something good too.”

Those words just officially killed me. On so many levels and in so many ways.

I already have, I want to tell her. But I keep my mouth shut.

“Are you taking him to the game?”

I don’t know why I just asked her that. It was petty and petulant. I gave her two tickets. Not one. I knew the risk when I did it. But now…

“I haven’t mentioned it to him.”

That has me smiling. It’s not serious, is what that says. Or maybe she likes holding on to my little present like it’s a secret. That’s just as good.

“So invite me.”

She blinks up at me, her head tilting to the side. “You want to go to the game with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

She laughs, shaking her head like I’m too much. “That’s not how I meant it and you know it.”

“Really? I didn’t catch that.”

“Okay Finn,” she continues that laugh. “Will you go to the game with me?”

“Sure, Gia. I’d love to go with you.”

She sinks her teeth down into her full bottom lip, shifting her weight. “As friends though, right?”

“Isn’t that what you said you wanted?”

She nods and it’s a big nod. “Yes. That’s what I want.”

“Then we’ll go as friends.”

Words have never tasted so wrong leaving my mouth.

“Happy birthday,” she says again, placing her hands on my shoulders and reaching up to kiss my cheek. My eyes close as her lips press against my skin. As her warmth invades all my senses. It’s over far too quickly and when she rights herself, removing her hands from my body, I die in a way I haven’t before. “You’re thirty, right?” I nod. “It’s a big one. We should go out and celebrate.”

“You don’t have to if you have plans.”

“I don’t tonight.”

Shit.

“Okay then.”

Shut up.

“Let’s celebrate.”

I’m so fucked.

“Great,” she says with a smile. “It’ll be fun.”