Chapter 23

 

 

 

 

 

Finn

 

“This is not what I had in mind when I agreed to celebrate,” I say to Mike as I sit down in one of the stiff leather couches of the club he dragged us to. “Although, I will say, you dressed like a porn princess is certainly making a club on Halloween more palatable,” I tell Gia as I make a show of looking her up and down.

She’s wearing the tiniest of black dresses. In fact, I think if I were sitting across from her instead of next to her, I might know what color panties she’s wearing from when she sat down. She’s definitely showing off an insane amount of cleavage.

“Porn princess?” she laughs, tilting her head back. That’s one of the things I like about Gia. She can laugh at herself and she doesn’t take everything so seriously. Like I do. “That’s great. I’ll have to mention that one to Chloe.”

“And in going back to your previous comment,” Mike says. “What’s not to like about this place. It’s one of the premiere clubs in the city and we’re in the VIP area.”

“Do I strike as you the clubbing sort?”

“No, but I couldn’t turn down free VIP.”

I give him a half bow for that. “How did you manage this?” Monique asks. She looks pretty too. She’s all long legs with an athletic build. Totally Mike’s type.

“I saved the life of the owner’s brother.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Do tell.”

“He came in with a GSW to the left femoral artery. A real bitch of a wound given its location.”

“God, that’s awful,” Gia says, covering her mouth like she’s actually upset by that. Damn, she’s cute.

Mike shrugs. “Well, he lived and his brother told me that whenever I wanted to come down, to give him a call and he’d hook me up.” Mike waves his hand around our seats complete with table service and private dance area. “And so he has.”

“It’s sort of freaky here though,” Monique says, eyeing the crowd in their various costumes. “And really, despite what each of these women are wearing, I think the word slutty is at the front it. Slutty nurse–which I personally hate–slutty pilot, slutty vampire, etcetera.”

“Certainly fun to look at.” I grin at her.

Monique rolls her eyes at me. “Come on, Gia. Let’s dance. Mike here can barely keep rhythm. He really destroys that whole black men can dance thing.”

“Hey,” Mike says, tickling Monique’s side, eliciting his intended giggle. “I take exception to that.”

“You are the exception to that,” she teases with a grin. Leaning in, she gives him a kiss and then stands up, reaching out her hand for Gia. Gia stands too, throwing me a wink before sauntering off and treating me to a perfect view of her fantastic ass.

When I turn back to face Mike, he’s giving me a look. A look I know well. After working with the man for three years, you get to know the many different expressions he can give. The one he’s bestowing upon me now is not anywhere I want to go.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, playing dumb and not fooling him for a second.

“You know exactly what I mean. Gia,” he says, leaning forward and inching his body to the end of the couch so that we can actually hear each other without having to shout. “Monique told me you told Gia you’re not interested, when we both know that’s not true.”

That’s not what I said to her. Definitely not what I implied at least. Kissing typically doesn’t mean not interested.

“Why are you pretending to suddenly be friends with her when you’re clearly into her?”

“Stop,” I say quickly. “You don’t know anything.”

“Bullshit,” he snaps. “I know everything. You’re into her. More than into her and you’re pushing her away. How long are you going to torture yourself? It’s been three years,” he emphasizes and I feel sick.

“I’m not torturing myself.”

“No,” he points at me, “you are. Because suddenly you’re friends, which is total crap. You don’t do friends. Especially with women. Especially with women you want.”

“What’s your point?” I growl, beyond frustrated. Reaching out, I pick up the glass of vodka cranberry which was poured for me, and down it. The whole full glass of it.

“She was all about you, man. I know she was. But now she’s dating Mason.” Mason. He has a name. “And Mason is crazy about her. I met the guy. He’s nice and attentive and he makes her happy.”

“Great. That’s what I want for her.”

“Goddammit, Finn.” Mike slams his hand against the glowing acrylic table. “What will you do when she marries him?”

“What?” I draw back, completely taken off guard by that. “She said they’ve only been together a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, but like I said, he’s crazy about her. They’re already pretty serious. Are you just going to let this happen? Let her go, because you refuse to start living your life again?”

I shake my head at him, my words failing before I can speak them.

“Don’t let her get away, Finn. You’ll regret it forever.”

“Something else to add to the list.”

Mike shakes his head at me, beyond exasperated. I’m right there too so I guess that makes us even. “Fine. It’s your life and you know how I feel. But for the record, you’re making a mistake. You deserve happiness and you’re pushing it into the arms of another man with both hands.”

Mike stands up, tossing down the rest of his drink the way I just did mine and then marches off in the direction of the girls, who are dancing in our private area. I get up too, because if he’s going to dance with Monique, I can dance with Gia. I can do this. I can do friends. I can exist in a world where she’s only partially mine.

And just fuck Mike. What the fuck? Why the hell would he say that shit to me? Marriage? Give me a goddamn break. Gia barely knows the guy. No way they’re near that serious. Especially not with the way she still looks at me.

I take some semblance of relief with that. Not much. But some.

Gia smiles at Mike as he takes Monique into his arms and kisses her. Sure, I’m jealous of what they have. Sure, I’d love to have that with Gia. But I don’t trust it. I know firsthand that it never lasts long. Everything you love can be gone in the blink of an eye.

Everything you think you know can be a lie.

None of that stops me from stalking up to Gia and taking her hand. It doesn’t stop me from pulling her into my arms and it definitely doesn’t stop me from bringing my mouth down close to her ear. “This okay?” I ask.

She blinks up at me with those wide cyan eyes and nods. Damn, this girl just does it for me. It would be so easy to kiss her again.

But then what?

We dance to a fast-paced song with slow-paced movements. Her head is against my chest. My arms are around her body. My fingers are caressing the fabric against her lower back. Her hand is placed on my chest. It’s so completely perfect and yes, so very wrong.

It’s loud in here. Annoyingly so.

“Come with me,” I say into her ear. She nods. She lets me take her wherever I want.

She trusts me. And hell, I know she still wants me.

I move us so we’re on the precipice of a dark alcove. The bass not so pronounced here. She’s still partially in my arms, her body angled back so she can catch my eyes as my hands linger on her back.

I want to tell her so many things.

“Mike said your new guy is crazy about you,” I say and wonder why I did. That wasn’t one of the things.

Gia observes me, measuring my expression. But then slowly nods. “Yes. Mason is a great guy.”

“How did you meet?”

Gia giggles lightly, an innocent smile on her lips. “I fell in the street. He helped me up and walked me home.”

“So he saved you?”

She nods slowly and I hate that he’s now her hero. That he got to be the one to pick her up and save her. Shit. It’s like a sucker punch. Because despite all the crap I’ve put her through, I was always the one who was there when she needed me. Always there to pick her up when she fell.

“Are you happy with him, Gia? Is he what you want?”

Gia’s eyes widen. Taken aback by my very direct question. In truth, I don’t know why I asked it. If she says no, I’ll be selfishly relieved but it won’t change my disposition.

“I care about him a lot.”

Her answer is evasive at best.

“What about you, Finn? Are you with anyone?”

“I think you already know that answer.”

“Why?” she breathes, her eyes glassing over. I still manage to hurt her. Even when she’s with someone else. Mike was right when he said I’m torturing myself. That I’m not friends with her. It’s the depraved masochist in me. He likes to swim in his misery. Amplify it whenever possible.

And with Gia in my arms, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

I smile, tracing my fingertips across her soft cheek. She lets me and another piece of me dies with each passing stroke. “Maybe one day.”

She huffs out a breath. But instead of pushing me away and storming off the way I expect her to, she presses her head against my chest, wrapping her arms around me once again as we gently sway to the music. Can’t this woman ever do what I expect her to? What I need her to?

“Your heart is pounding, Finn.” She sighs, deep breath in, deep breath out. “I’m persistent,” she warns. “And not so easy to get rid of.” Her chin rests against my chest as she gazes up at me. “Sort of like HPV.”

I laugh, leaning down instinctively before I remember myself and draw back.

“One day, Finnigan Banner, I’ll know all your secrets. And then you’ll be stuck with me, whether you want that or not.”

Don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping.