“So, you guys are actually going through with it?” Blake asked as we were chatting about the tattoos.

Colin, Matt, and I nodded and confirmed we were going tomorrow afternoon to get them done.

“May I ask the placement?” Blake inquired.

“Right shoulder blades,” Colin said.

“Are you guys nervous?” Blake asked us.

I shook my head and sipped my Coke.

“Not at all,” I said.

I’ve been through a lot in my life already. A tattoo didn’t rattle me. Matt actually looked nervous though. Even as we sat in the lobby of the tattoo parlor, Colin and I told Matt that he didn’t have to get it.

“Matt, don’t get it if you’re not one hundred percent sure,” I told him.

The last thing I’d want is for someone to get a tattoo they weren’t certain about. That thing is lifelong.

“Yeah, Matt. Anth and I won’t give you shit about being a pussy and backing out,” Colin joked.

“Fuck you.” Matt shook his head laughing. “I’m getting it, and I want it. I was just using some reverse psychology to see if you two really wanted them. If you saw that I was nervous, then if either of you really had reservations but were too ‘manly’ to say anything, my pretend nervousness would give you guys your way out,” Matt confidently said.

Colin and I looked at each other.

“He’s fucking with us,” I commented.

“Matt’s got the clinical way to approach decisions down pat,” Colin teased.

Finally, it was our turn, and the three of us went back to get inked. I volunteered to go first and pulled my shirt off and sat on the chair with my back to the artist.

“Which shoulder blade, gentlemen?” the artist asked.

In unison, we all announced the right shoulder blade. I was really excited about this but tried not to let on exactly how excited I was. This was like a blood brothers type of thing to me. Like those necklaces that girls wear to tout their friendship. Only this, this was very real and forever. These were tattoos and as weird as it sounds, I felt that this would seal my friendship with these guys forever. We’ll be in our eighties and nineties, tying young women up with rope in Irons. I smirked at the idea as the guy was cleaning the area on my back. He kept rubbing his gloved fingers over a spot, and then he would rub my skin on the opposite side of my shoulder.

“Um, Anthony, you have some scarring back here on the right shoulder blade where the tattoo was going to go. It won’t look right, plus I’m not comfortable tattooing scarred skin.”

I swallowed hard and stiffened in my seat.

“Your left blade is fine, though. I can put it there if you want,” he said.

I glanced at Matt and Colin, and both of them were on their feet and walked behind me; I’m sure to look at my back. The bad thing was that I didn’t really even know what it looked like back there.

“I’ve seen you a million times with your shirt off, but this has never stuck out to me,” Matt said. “It’s all skin tone colored, but now that I look closer, I can see the damaged skin,” he added.

Suddenly, I was sweating and wanted out of there. Bruce and Connor fucked up pieces of me that I couldn’t even see or feel. At least the area wasn’t obvious, according to Matt.

“How’d you get it?” Colin asked.

How did I get it?

I had no fucking clue. It could have been from anything. Bruce and Connor did everything but physically dismember me.

“I don’t know. Probably something when I was really little. I was pretty rambunctious and always out playing and running around,” I said.

Colin and Matt took their seats in front of where I sat, and Colin said, “Left shoulder blades it is, then,” as he looked me in the eyes.

“Wait, we talked about the right blades, guys. You don’t have to change on account of me. I can get the left, and you guys can still do it on the right.”

Matt and Colin shook their heads, and both were looking at me.

“Nope, we do this together,” Matt said.

“But we agreed to the right blades, not left,” I reminded them.

“We agreed that we’d get the same tattoo in the same place.” Colin firmly said and nodded at me. “We’re getting the left blades.”

Matt also nodded, and the tattoo artist moved to my left side and cleaned the area. As I sat there getting an emblem that represents the BDSM lifestyle inked on my skin, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of things. I was pissed that Bruce and Connor scarred me in many places and that it was having an effect on things in my adult life. Granted, this was small, but their damage made it so I couldn’t do something that I wanted. And that angered me the most. I also felt a deep bond with Colin and Matt.

When I couldn’t bend, they were both willing to. These guys had my back, literally. And I’d always have theirs. And that’s what this tattoo was about…our bond.