Chapter 16

Samantha

Two months later.

Erin’s eyes grew wider as the box was shuffled into the room by two, very large, delivery men. Though she was irritated by what was going on, Samantha couldn’t help but be amused at her son’s reaction. She wasn’t sure if he’d be more impressed by Superman flying into the room than he was by this behemoth gift that was slowly, but surely, being carried into the house.

The delivery men’s blue T-shirts, emblazoned with the slogans of the company they worked for, were drenched in sweat, and considering the size of the package in their hands, Samantha couldn’t entirely blame them for feeling the strain. Each breath was labored, and their cheeks were as bright pink as her angora sweater.

“What is it, Mommy?” Erin asked, his voice small but it was high too, excitement at the prospect of being able to open the parcel starting to fill him. He’d been shifting from foot to foot at her side, but now? He was almost hopping up and down with each step the men took, bringing the box deeper into the room.

“I have no idea, sweetheart. Anything could be inside,” she teased softly, though she hadn’t made the purchase herself, she knew from the docket what it was as well as who’d sent it, her fake fiancé that wasn’t so fake. Tapping her chin with the hand clammy little fingers weren’t clinging to, she watched as the men carried on struggling through the small entryway to her living room, and with a relieved huff of breath, placed it square in the center.

“Where you want it?” came the gruff demand.

“Do you mind moving the old TV?” she asked, somewhat mournfully, hoping the older of the pair wouldn’t huff at her too much. The younger one, well, she knew he’d do what she asked—a notion that had her tensing up a little. But the elder? He was far too world-worn to let a pretty face get away with murder.

She was surprised when, moments later, he heaved a sigh, waved the younger guy over, and headed to the smaller unit to shift it away.

“You want it there?” the other guy, one with a glint in his eye, asked her as he checked her out.

“Please. It’s out of the way until I can figure out where else to put it.” She shot him a tight look and curled her spare hand on Erin’s shoulder—taking comfort in his presence.

“Our pleasure,” he replied, his smile far too flirtatious for her liking.

Maybe it was because she’d come to hate when men looked at her that way because it always made Jamie jealous, but she hated being appraised. Loathed it.

Even now, when she was free from her husband’s grasp, accepting a come-on just made her skin prickle. She’d been conditioned, Samantha supposed sadly. Any woman would find it a compliment for an attractive man to smile at her the way the delivery man was. But she didn’t like it. Couldn’t find it in herself to do anything than shoot him wan looks.

She’d noticed him notice her when he’d jumped out of the van, and had felt dread unfurl through her at the sight.

Sighing, because she’d thought she was past this, she stayed close to Erin as they unstripped the new TV from the box.

Though its size was evident from its container, she still blinked at the massive piece of tech. And it was one of those curved ones too, with all the bells and whistles. God, how much had it cost?

“He must have spent a fortune,” she grumbled under her breath, and all because he’d suggested a movie night the other day.

How had that suggestion leapfrogged to this?

Her TV was quite ample, if very small. By comparison to this behemoth, her 20” unit looked like Erin in comparison to Josh.

Amused at the thought, she watched as the guys, who were charged with orders to install the TV too, began to set out everything they needed to get the job done.

“You want it on the wall? Or on that stand?” The one that had supported the old TV.

“Don’t you need a bracket?” she asked.

“One’s included,” the younger deliveryman said huskily.

It was easier to eye the wall than it was to look at him. “Oh, well, sure.” It would probably fit above the fireplace which she didn’t intend on using anyway, and that would put it bang in the center of the main wall.

Pointing out where she’d like it, the men got to work and in no time at all, the TV was on the wall and Erin was gaping at it like he’d never seen anything similar.

Considering they’d had one in their old apartment, she bit back a sigh.

Boys and their toys.

Rubbing her arms when they left, the younger delivery man smiling sultrily at her, she closed the door behind him with relief and pressed her back to it.

As the volume started to soar, she hollered, “Erin? Are you playing with the remote when I told you not to?”

“No, Mommy,” came the instant reply and an immediate lowering of the volume.

Despite herself, she had to grin, and reaching for her phone, she connected to Josh’s.

“Hello?” As his answer was brusque, she assumed he hadn’t looked at his caller ID.

“It’s me.”

There was a pause, then a, “Good morning.”

Considering his tone went from chilly to so warm that Samantha’s toes curled in response, she figured he knew who he was talking to now.

Her throat choked a little, her body reacting in more ways than one to that note in his voice…

Amazing how, from him, she felt this way, and yet the cute delivery guy had inspired nothing but dread in her.

“What’s wrong?” he snapped, seeming to misread her silence.

She licked her lips. “Nothing’s wrong.” Her voice hitched, and she whispered, “You’re coming around tonight, aren’t you?”

“Need my help with something?” he asked, sounding amused.

“A little ache here and there,” she retorted, turning waspish at his amusement.

“Ben, I just need five minutes, can you shut the door on your way out?” he declared, his tone strident as he spoke to someone who was obviously in the office with him.

Samantha’s lips curved. “You’re so rude sometimes.”

“I’m the boss. I don’t have to be polite,” he said, satisfaction lacing his tone. “Anyway, what kind of aches are we talking about? I’m not sure I like the sound of you aching, especially when I’m here to help with things like that.”

“I have one, right between my thighs. I have no idea where it came from.”

He laughed, then his voice turned husky as he murmured, “I wish you were here. But yes, I’ll be there tonight. Did the TV arrive?”

She grunted. “Yeah. It did. Thanks for asking if I wanted a monster in my living room.”

“Can’t watch a movie with that tiny little thing you had before,” he said, his tone reasonable even as she knew she was losing his attention—she heard the clacking of the keyboard as he worked on his laptop, then papers shuffling.

It didn’t bother her that he was distracted because she’d called him in the middle of the morning when he was at work, so couldn’t expect to hold his full focus, regardless of that, she murmured, “Well, I’ll have to make sure there’s something worth watching tonight then, won’t I?”

The faint scratching of his pen in the background disappeared. “What kind of something?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to think of something.” She grinned at the repetition. “What time will you be coming?”

He cleared his throat, apparently understanding her double entendre. “Around six?”

“Erin will be awake at that time,” she cautioned, tone turning serious.

“I know. The TV’s for him too. There should be some DVDs with the package. I thought we could watch something with him first.”

Her heart, already in knots thanks to this man, just melted at his inclusion of her son.

“Oh, Josh, thank you.” Her voice was thick and warm like honey, she knew, simply because he hadn’t forgotten Erin.

“What for?”

“The DVDs.”

He snorted. “You’re thanking me for the DVDs but not the TV?”

“Well, I’m grateful but it was unnecessary.”

A laugh came down the line, and she loved that she could make him chuckle when he was at work. When his mind was going in a million different directions, when the world of finance and only who knew what else was his priority…

He could be so somber and serious sometimes. She wanted to be the softness to brighten his days. Samantha wasn’t sure if she could be that, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it.

The sound of a knock at the door in the background had her tensing. “It’s okay,” she said quickly, preempting him before he could apologize. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Good. Until later.” She heard him inhale, then he whispered, “Bye, love.”

Love.

What that one term of endearment could do to her.

She bit her lip to hide the wide grin that longed to make her mouth curve. Then, Erin let out a squeal, and laughing, she went to find out what had excited him so.

***

Hours later, after she’d placed the dough for the homemade pizzas in the oven that would be perfect for movie night, she watched as Erin showed Josh the many features of the new gadget in their midst. Somehow, he’d managed to learn what all the buttons meant—what was it with kids? He was so young too, and yet, he could already navigate her smartphone better than she could.

She’d already had to install a child lock, dammit.

But thoughts of Erin’s smarts disappeared as she watched Josh with Erin. He was so patient, she thought, her mind quite dreamy as she watched him listen, head cocked, interest unfeigned as he gave her child his attention.

She didn’t think Jamie had ever listened or interacted with their son for as long as Josh had. When Erin had been a baby, neither man had done much more than smile, wiggle one of Erin’s hands, and in Jamie’s case, pass the baby over if he’d soiled himself.

This was probably the first chunk of attention Erin had ever had from a man.

She couldn’t stop the tears that prickled her eyes as the scents of oregano and baking dough permeated the kitchen and trailed out into the hallway.

Touched, but feeling silly because of the tears, she chuckled softly at herself and retreated to the kitchen. She hadn’t meant to watch the boys together, hadn’t wanted it to feel like she was supervising, but having heard their laughs merging, loud enough for her to overhear, she’d wanted to see them. Wanted to see it for herself.

And what a sight.

Her beautiful boy, so bright and sunny, giggling away as the handsome brute at his side listened intently, not seeming to care that every other word Erin uttered was more of a babble than anything else.

Pulling out the pizzas now they were ready, she dished them out, cut them into slices, and after switching off the stove, grabbed the plates and headed out of the kitchen.

When Josh saw her, he leaped to his feet, but she waved him off by wiggling the plates. “Don’t worry, I’ve got them.” With a ‘ta-da’, she placed them on the coffee table which was set with beakers of soda and water for them all.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble. I could have ordere—”

“Why order in when I get a kick out of making it myself?” she asked primly, and took a seat opposite him, on the floor, crossing her legs lotus-style.

He cocked a brow at her. “How come I get the couch?”

“Age before beauty,” she told him, tongue in cheek, laughing when his eyes flared then swiftly narrowed.

“Cheeky minx,” he retorted, then eying the pizza asked, “Which is mine?”

She shrugged. “Have whichever you want. We share, don’t we, baby?” she asked her little man who was kneeling at her side, peering at the pizzas like he wanted to dive into them headfirst.

She grabbed a slice of margherita, knowing that he wouldn’t eat the other pieces. It was why she’d done a full margarita and two halves on the other—one of pepperoni and the other of mushroom.

The slices on the plain pizza were small, kid-sized, and when Erin got his hands on one, he made a dramatic humming sound of pleasure.

“Hot, hot, hot,” he cackled after, blowing out a deep breath then wiggling his fingers in front of his mouth.

“They’re fresh from the oven, silly,” she teased, reaching for a slice of mushroom. When she took a bite, Sam noticed Josh hadn’t, that he was staring at the two of them in a way she couldn’t read.

He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his shoulders crouched forward as he watched them, but she didn’t feel uneasy. The small smile gracing his lips was difficult to read but that didn’t stop her from discerning that he was content with the moment.

Maybe he was asking himself how it had come to pass that, on a Thursday evening, he was eating pizza with a preschooler and his best friend’s widow, but the smile confirmed he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Relief and happiness settled in her heart. Even though she was uncertain about the future, she wanted Josh. It was an unusual truth, but she refused to lie to herself.

There would be no gain to her not being honest about her feelings for Josh, because the sentiments he inspired in her were worthy of note. She’d never experienced them before, and knew that even as he excited her and made her smile, he also made her feel safe.

She tried to focus on her food, but it didn’t work. Instead, she asked Erin about the movies Josh had bought, “Have you picked what we’re watching yet?”

When he said Finding Nemo, she moaned. “Not again.”

“How many times has he watched it?” Josh asked, finally picking up a slice of pizza—pepperoni; she’d remembered that was his topping of choice from the many times Jamie had ordered in when a game had been on.

“About a million.”

Erin giggled. “Don’t be silly, mommy.” His grin was beaming. “At least ten million, Uncle Josh.”

Uncle Josh snorted. “Then, we just have to make it ten million and one.” His lips screwed in a smile. “I haven’t seen it once, so this is going to be an education for me.”

She snorted. “I wish I hadn’t seen it.”

Erin gasped and gaped at them both. “Mommy, you wish you hadn’t seen Finding Nemo?”

Because it was his favorite, she wrinkled her nose and lied, “Only because I wish I could watch it all over again for the first time.”

Josh’s nostrils flared and he ducked his head to hide a smile. A few seconds later, when Erin, beaming now, began to recount the story to them—inadvertently giving away every single good bit of the plot—Josh caught her eye.

The two of them smiled at each other, but it was the silent communication that passed between them that stunned her.

She’d seen it on TV and in movies. Women who could speak with their partners with merely a blink, an entire conversation passing, discussions and arguments occurring without even a word uttered…

She’d never seen that with her parents who barely tolerated one another. And with Jamie? She’d rarely looked him in the eye, too scared of the repercussions.

Frank and Janice weren’t like that either. Oh, Janice wasn’t too scared to look at Frank. No, she was the kind who would scream down the house. If anything, in that relationship, she could easily imagine Janice tossing something at Frank if he pissed her off in the depths of an argument.

But this? It was the most beautifully intimate moment she’d ever had with someone else, and it made her breath catch.

It gave her, she realized, hope.

Erin jerked her arm, jolting her from the moment, but she didn’t mind. Though it felt like she’d had an epiphany, a truly groundbreaking moment where the world suddenly made complete and utter sense where it hadn’t before, she turned her attention to her son and to her lover.

Tonight, she didn’t want it to be anywhere else. Not in the past or the future, just the present, because from where she was seated, the present was exactly how she wanted it to be.

It couldn’t have been any more perfect.