Chapter 2

Samantha

The urge to unburden her soul, to reveal all the nasty details of what she was embroiled in with Frank and Janice, was enormous. But she’d be a fool to trust this man. Joshua Lewis, Jamie’s best friend had never liked her. She’d never understood why, not while Jamie was alive anyway. After his death, she’d learned things she wished she could forget.

It was almost laughable to think that she had had any control over Jamie. Josh seemed to believe that she forced him to work all hours godsent, that she’d been the reason for his heart attack. But she’d had about as much control over him as a drunk driver did over their vehicle.

Jamie had been destined to crash and burn long before he met her.

Though that belief soothed her, it was more like a silent prod. A reminder. Jamie’s death had liberated her from the prison that was her marriage. Yet, the only good thing Jamie had done with his life, the only good thing that had come from their miserable matrimony, his parents were trying to steal from her.

She wasn’t about to let that happen, not even if it meant dealing with this bastard here.

“You want coffee?”

Surprised by Josh’s sudden politeness, she frowned. “Why? Will you dose it with arsenic?”

His nostrils flared with irritation again. She spied the irritated gesture, but refused to wince.

Samantha could quickly manage to ascertain if someone in the vicinity was angry, was getting aggressive. She’d seen the signs, had come to recognize them over time. Back when her father had beaten on her mother, and then, though she’d vowed never to be in the same position as her mom, when Jamie had begun hitting her, she felt sure her experience with abuse had saved her life more than once.

Well, until his drug use had grown out of control.

Then, Jamie’s mercurial moods had led to his fists connecting with some unfortunate part of her body with little to no warning.

Unlike his best friend, however, Josh wasn’t volatile. In fact, he was anything but. He was cool, calm. Far too collected, because she truly believed that in any given situation, there should only be one control freak in a room. Considering she labeled herself as one, it was no wonder being around Josh, regardless of his opinion on her, was always disconcerting.

If Jamie was a tidal wave, Josh was a calm expanse of ocean. Fitting, considering the cerulean blue of his eyes. She’d always been wary of him. He was too handsome for her own good, any woman’s own good, and as a result, Samantha avoided him. The last thing she’d wanted back in the day was to anger Jamie, and even innocent flirting with his best friend would have been enough to…

Well, she didn’t have to think about that now.

She was safe.

Safe to look at the man opposite her, a man who loathed her, but she could still check him out.

His hair was like black silk, and despite herself, her fingers had always longed to feel the crispness through her fingers. His olive skin gleamed with vitality, contrasting beautifully with his gemlike eyes. His nose was Roman, his forehead strong with golden brown brows that perfectly framed his features. His mouth was mobile, the lips somewhat delicate in his utterly masculine face. In his expensive suit, and with a silver gleam to the thread, and a light blue linen shirt, his coloring was perfectly offset. The suit, tailored to his body, showcased his strength, as well as his leanness.

What if she had met Josh that night instead of Jamie? If he’d been the one to…

Shaking off the thought, and suddenly desperately in need of coffee, she whispered “Yes, I really would like some coffee.”

He nodded, unconcerned by her abrupt about-face, and he pressed a button. The white noise of the intercom sounded, and he murmured, “Jane, can you bring some coffee in, please?”

“Of course, sir.”

He clicked off, then bridging his hands in front of him, murmured simply, “Explain.”

Where to start? The beginning was buried deep in the roots of her marriage, and most of what she had to say he wouldn’t believe. Like everyone who knew her husband, he thought Jamie was perfect. The golden boy. The image Jamie had worked so hard to maintain over the years.

In death, that image had further been immortalized. And she knew he would love that. Even from his place in hell, the licking flames scorching his feet, he’d be looking up, laughing with glee. His memory was absolute. Changing it was something she simply couldn’t do. Even if the truth of her situation rested within that sorry tale.

She blew out a breath, and wished it was as easy as ABC. But nothing had ever been that simple for her. A quick fling with the golden boy had resulted in a pregnancy. She’d lost her virginity to Jamie, and had been gifted with a child. She’d never asked him to marry her, but he’d insisted, and relieved not to be doing the parenting thing alone, she’d agreed. By then it was too late.

It was always too late.

She’d been ensnared in his trap, and the rest had been a particularly nasty history.

“Erin recently visited Frank and Janice. He doesn’t often because usually, I make arrangements and they cancel them.” And wasn’t that the truth. For every ten get-togethers she arranged so that his grandparents could get to know their grandson, they managed to make it to two. “Erin said something,” she whispered hesitantly. “Something that he doesn’t particularly understand what it means, but he said it nonetheless.” She fell silent, unsure of how to carry on.

“Like, ‘out of the mouths of babes’?”

Her smile was tight. “Yes, exactly like that.” She gulped. “When they realized what he meant, they weren’t happy with it. They demanded to see me and told me that they were going to fight me for custody because I was obviously besmirching Jamie’s name in Erin’s eyes.”

Josh scowled. “They’re going to fight you for custody over something a four-year-old said?” he asked, obviously seeking clarity from her words.

Samantha’s laugh was bitter. “Yes. Ridiculous, isn’t it?

“Ridiculous isn’t the word. Especially considering Janice is hardly maternal.” His scowl deepened, turned darker. “What the hell did he say?”

She swallowed, and suddenly her tongue felt very thick. “If I tell you, you won’t believe me.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What Erin said, it’s the truth? You said he didn’t particularly understand what he meant. But it’s no lie?”

“No, he doesn’t understand it, but it’s the truth.” She wondered if she sounded as dogged as she thought she had. “You won’t like it,” she warned.

“I haven’t liked any part of this conversation, so that’s fitting,” he retorted, but he rocked back into his seat and groused, “Hit me with it.”

How appropriate those words were, did he but know it.

Although, maybe he had.

Josh and Jamie had been friends since school. Both from over-privileged backgrounds, both accustomed to being at the top of the tree peering down at those beneath them.

Had he known Jamie’s true inclinations?

Could Jamie have hidden his nature from his best friend for so many years? What was more likely?

Jamie’s true nature being a secret from the man he considered a brother? Or that brother’s ignorance about the man beneath the mask?

“As far as I can tell, Janice was complaining about some bruises on her arms. Erin told her to ask me for the magic stick that covered them up.” She eyed him, wondering if he understood the meaning behind that. But as she looked on, his expression had barely changed. “Then, Erin said that maybe I didn’t have any more as I hadn’t used it since his daddy had died.”

Samantha blew out a shaky breath. She’d never intended that side of her marriage to come out; certainly not to her in-laws, and certainly not by her son – she’d always thought she’d hidden it well from him.

Not well enough it would seem.

That, more than anything in this fucked up situation, upset her deeply. She hadn’t protected Erin as well as she’d hoped she had. And what kind of mother did that make her?

A questionable one, but she'd be damned before anyone took her child from her.

But she wasn’t the only one dealing with the aftermath of her revelation. While she was dealing with her own guilt, Josh had frozen in place. He’d yet to move.

The more she watched him, the more she realized he was aware of the meaning behind Erin’s words, but that he’d been in the dark about Jamie’s character. The notion filled her with relief. If he had known, could she still have sought help from him? When he’d allowed his friend to treat her like that? Throwing her to the wolf that was his best friend…

No, instinct told her Jamie’s mask had held true where Josh was concerned.

The trouble was, she knew too few people in New York City. This wasn’t her place, wasn’t her home. She had to stay here for Erin, when really, she wished she could be back in upstate New York. In her tiny hometown a stone’s throw away from the Hamptons where this miserable adventure had begun all those years ago.

She had no friends here. No friends that weren’t connected to Jamie, at any rate. Or if not him, his parents.

The only reason she’d come to Josh today was because he was richer than Frank, more powerful too. She’d been uncertain as to whether he’d help her or her in-laws in the end, but she’d had to try.

In all the years she’d known him, she’d never known Josh to be so silent. He was renowned for his cutting and acerbic weight, something she’d fallen prey to many times over the years. She wasn’t used to him being quiet, wasn’t sure which she preferred.

She squeezed her hands around the ends of the armrests of her chair. She knew her knuckles bled white from the ache, but she stayed there, remained silent, letting Josh absorb her words. Uncertain if he’d choose to believe her, or if he’d have her thrown out of his office for lying.

Truth was, she expected the latter more than the former.

Eventually, when the silence grew too much, she whispered, “Say something, Josh.” She gulped. Anything would do.

He blinked. “For how long?” he asked, his voice gravelly and so hoarse it was almost a rasp.

“Pretty much from the beginning,” she whispered softly. Memories she’d long since tried to bury stirred from the depths where she placed them after Jamie’s heart attack. Despite herself, and despite the fact the last thing she wanted was to revisit that time, she whispered, “You were there when we met, weren’t you?”

She’d wished Josh had been the one to ask her to dance at the country club ball. Even though he was mean to her, she could deal with that. At one point, she’d have taken verbal abuse over the physical she’d had to endure at Jamie’s strung out hands.

He nodded. “We went together. I saw him ask you to dance.”

“Don’t misunderstand me, Josh. Erin is the best thing that ever happened to me. No matter what happened between me and his father, I have no regrets where he’s concerned.” She blew out a breath. “But I really wish I hadn’t gone to that ball that night.”

His mouth worked. “But he wasn’t like that.”

His words weren’t strident, weren’t uttered in that patented arrogant tone of his. If anything, there was a plea buried within them.

She knew she was hurting him with these revelations, but what could she do? The truth hurt. And it hurt a damn sight less than the myriad injuries she’d had to suffer at his friend’s hands.

“He was,” she said softly, sadly. “I wish he hadn’t been. That night we met, I felt sure I’d met my Prince Charming.”

Her lips curled with remembered pleasure. Jamie had been so handsome. A true golden boy. White blonde hair at the roots that darkened into gold at the tips. His skin had been bronzed from the sun, his body long and lean from all the tennis he played and all the laps he swum. He looked so dapper in his tuxedo, so perfect, so all-American that she’d felt like the Belle of the ball when he’d asked her to dance.

“But he wasn’t. He was anything but. He’d been a walking nightmare. Especially by the end.”

Her mama was a seamstress, and Samantha’s dress had been made by her. She’d felt so pretty at the beginning of the night, but when she and her friends had sneaked into the dance at the country club where all the rich folk from the Hamptons met and gathered for special occasions, she’d felt so dowdy. So unfashionable.

Then, Jamie had swept out of nowhere. He’d asked her to dance, and she’d shyly accepted his hand. He’d taken her away. Danced her, seemingly, to the moon and back. The night ended with them fooling around in his car, and like so many stupid girls, she’d let him go too far and ended up pregnant.

Of course, nobody had thought she was stupid. Not when Jamie had married her after finding out she was carrying his child. No, then, everyone had thought she was a gold digger. And she wasn’t. She’d been enchanted by the golden man who would eventually become the star of her deepest, darkest nightmares.

“When? Why?”

She stiffened at his questions. “I did nothing to deserve it,” she spat.

His eyes flared wide. “I didn’t mean it that way, I-I never thought you did.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I had no right to ask that, Samantha. I-I don’t know how to get my head around this.”

“You don’t have to understand this. You can’t make sense of it. You weren’t the first one he conned. Only Erin and I truly know what he was like, and I’m not telling you this for you to feel pity. I, we, don’t need your pity. What we need is your help. I can’t lose Erin, Josh. You have to see that.”

He licked his lips as he processed her words. The man was smart. Had taken a fortune he’d inherited from his grandparents and had quadrupled it by the time he’d hit thirty. Jamie had often spoken with envy over how quick Josh was, how he could turn his hands to most tasks and make it work for him.

But at the moment, she knew she truly had bewildered him.

“Let me speak to Frank and Janice,” he half whispered. “Let me see what I can do.”

“No, I don’t think that will work. And if you get involved now, they’ll know, and they’ll guard against it. Against you.”

“Against me?” He sounded even more confused, which came as a surprise. Probably to both of them. “I’m like a son to them.”

She closed her eyes and wished things weren’t so complicated. Bowing her head, she rubbed her forehead where an ache had started to gather.

“You had to know Jamie was addicted to coke by the end.” Hell, he’d been addicted at the beginning, but she didn’t dare bewilder Josh any more than she already had.

He frowned. “Addicted seems a little strong. I know he used it when he partied. But Jamie always said he had things under control.”

The laugh that escaped her lips was more of a bark than anything else.

“Jamie had nothing under control. Nothing. Not himself, not our marriage, not our finances. We were running on the knife's edge of debt, just keeping ahead each month. If he hadn’t passed away when he did, what assets were left might not have been able to pay off all his debts. Frank and Janice blamed me for them of course, but they shut up when I showed them how Jamie had spent his money.”

Gosh, she was so sick of having to find evidence to justify her words. Weariness filled her at the thought, because she was having to do that now. She was under no illusion. Just because she’d stunned Josh, didn’t mean he wouldn’t look into what she was saying. Didn’t mean he’d take her words at face value.

In this crappy world she lived in, this ‘1%’ society, the poor relation could never be trusted. Her word could never hold the most sway over Jamie’s. It was why she’d never tried to leave him. Why she’d never even tried to plan an escape.

She’d known he’d always come after her. Had known from the first time he’d hit her that there was no escape. He had the means and the jealous zeal to never let her leave. And that was before their son had come into the picture. A child he didn’t particularly want, but who was his, his belonging, his possession, and therefore had to remain close.

Josh’s frown deepened into an outright scowl. “How was he in debt? Jamie always said…”

She shot him a bitter smile. “Let me guess. That I had expensive tastes in clothes, that I needed jewelry, and that I wasn’t happy unless we had a Ferrari.” It wasn’t the first time she’d heard that bullshit.

Her in-laws had been the first to spout it at her when they’d seen the state of Jamie’s bank records.

He cleared his throat. “Well, yeah.”

Samantha shook her head. “By the end, it was hard putting food on the table with the bare amount Jamie gave me. That was how crazy it had gotten. Jamie was taking more coke than ever. I’m certain that’s what brought on the heart attack. He barely came down before he had to get high again, and he very rarely slept. It was like walking on a minefield living with him. I was relieved when he went out to party, it was the only time I felt safe. Not just for me, but for Erin too.”

Josh jolted forward. “He abused Erin as well?”

She hesitated. “He was very jealous of Erin. Said he took up too much of my time. Time that should have been spent on him.” Sucking in a shaky breath, she whispered, “I was scared every damn day that that would be when he’d start on him. But it never came to that. Thank God.”

Josh stared at her blankly, and then came the question she’d been dreading, “Why do you think Frank and Janice won’t listen to me?”

Dread filled her at having to make this confession. “Because, by the end, Jamie was certain we were having an affair, and he complained to them about it.”