Ryder
Another week passes.
Once again, June and I spend both Friday and Saturday evenings in the corner at the bar. In between drink orders, we talk. In between making martinis and pouring beers, June tells me about her life, about her childhood, about her Grandmother. She tells me about her life and little by little, I find myself falling in love with June.
This frightens me.
I can’t tell anyone how I feel about June. There is literally no one I can talk to about this. If my superiors had even the slightest inkling that I was interested in a civilian, they would pull me from this case and stick me on instant desk duty. I don’t want that. I can’t have that.
No, what I need is June.
All I need is June.
I sit with her while she closes up the bar on Saturday night. At three in the morning, she hits a button to turn off the music and on the lights. There are a few groans from the last remaining patrons, but June shrugs and everyone quietly files out of the club.
“You don’t have too many problems with lingerers, do you?”
“Not so much,” June shrugs. “It’s one of the perks of being a private club, I suppose. People know that if they give me a hard time, I just won’t let them come back.” She smiles at me. “So nobody gives me a hard time.”
“Plus, I’m sure Zack helps.” I jerk my head toward the scary guy working the door tonight, and June laughs.
“Zack is a big ol’ teddy bear,” she laughs.
“I heard that,” he calls over, and June just laughs harder.
“Come on, Ryder,” she says, coming out from behind the bar. “We’ll finish cleaning tomorrow,” she says. To my surprise, June takes my hand and leads me out of the main play area. Once we’re in the lobby, she turns to Zack. “Thanks for everything tonight,” she says to him.
“Are you dismissing me, Miss Gables?” He smirks, obviously amused by the situation.
“Are you dismissing him?” I ask, surprised.
June just waves Zack away and he laughs and heads for the door.
“Be nice to her, Ryder,” he says. “Or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
I’m too confused by this strange turn of events to say anything back. Instead, I turn back to June and wait for her. She locks the front door and then turns back to me.
“Come on, then,” her voice is so quiet that I almost can’t hear her. She takes my hand and leads me down a side hallway.
“June, we shouldn’t be here after hours,” I say slowly. “Won’t the owner be upset?”
She looks over her shoulder at me and flashes me a smile.
“I think it’ll be okay,” she says, confirming my suspicion that June is more than just the bartender. Most people don’t notice how she watches the room. Most people are idiots. When they come to a place like Anchored, they’re much too worried about things like performing well or putting on a good show. They’re not looking around the room checking the exits. They aren’t trying to figure out who the power players are. They aren’t trying to do anything except for have a good time.
And June?
June is like a guardian angel who makes sure everyone is okay.
She rarely drinks while she’s working. Instead, she keeps an eye out. There are always several dungeon monitors working the floor and every so often, she’ll radio one of them to take care of a problem she notices. She’s very watchful and very cautious, and June never, ever lets her guard down.
“You live here, don’t you?” I ask. She stops in front of a door marked PRIVATE and turns back to me.
“Last chance to tell me no, Ryder,” she says. Her hand is on the door, but she doesn’t push it open. Not just yet. Instead, June looks at me, waiting for me to tell her that this is okay, waiting for me to promise that no matter what happens when we go through this door, everything is going to be okay.
That’s not a promise I can make.
The truth is that if June wants to go through this door with me, if she wants to spend the night together, then everything is going to change. I can go into her room and pretend like I’ll come out the same man, but I’d be lying to myself.
Once I get inside of June Gables, I won’t ever be the same again.
“Tell me what you’re asking me, June.”
“You know what I want.”
“Tell me now,” I demand. “Why now? Why tonight?” I’ve propositioned her before, asked her to come home with me before. June always turns me down. She’ll kiss me, and she’ll let me hug her, but that’s as far as it goes between us. Each kiss we’ve shared has been passionate and dark: a promise of things to come.
Each kiss has seared itself into my memory.
“It’s the one-month anniversary of my grandmother’s funeral,” she says. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, Ryder.”
“I’m sorry about your grandmother,” I tell her, softly touching her hair.
“Me, too,” June whispers.
“I’ll stay with you tonight,” I tell her. “You don’t have to be alone.”
“Thank you, Ryder.”
“June?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I’m going to Dominate you, right?”
A shiver shoots through her body: a delicious, exciting shiver. Yeah, June knows what I’m about. I’ll help her get through tonight. I’ll help her deal with her pain by obliterating it. By the time I’m through with June, she’s going to be sleeping like a baby. She won’t have to stay up all night feeling alone. She won’t have to mourn by herself. Instead, I’m going to make love to her long and hard, and then I’m going to hold her all fucking night.
She nods, and then June kisses me deeply. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Soon I’m completely surrounded by June.
Soon I’m completely enveloped in her.
Soon I’m lost in her and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to find my way back out.