Chapter Seventeen
Eden
Fat Earl’s ticked all the boxes for an after-hours dive bar. The floors were sticky, country music blared from the jukebox, and a film of grease coated every surface. But it was a good place for people-watching and the crowd was a lot more diverse than at any of the dive bars I’d been to in Pennsylvania. Bikers, hipsters, some guys who looked like rock stars, and from what Hailey told me, a lot of the people here worked in other bars and restaurants.
She and I were crammed in a corner near the jukebox and Zeke had gone to put our names on the list for a pool table. Killian hadn’t made much progress. He was still by the front door, talking to Jared, and he kept rubbing the back of his neck. Even from across the room, I could see the tension rolling off him. He’d downed his first whiskey, a double, in two seconds flat and was working on the second one.
“This is known as a bar for bad decisions,” Hailey said, taking a swig of her beer. We’d made a pact to stick to one bottle of beer, and I was nursing mine. I didn’t need to make a fool of myself again.
I nudged Hailey’s arm. “We’re going to be sensible, remember?”
“Absolutely. I got my ass kicked in the kitchen tonight. I sweated out buckets. I’m not even sure how I’m still standing.”
“I know the feeling.” We both yawned at the same time, as if to prove it.
“At this rate, we’ll be asleep in the corner before this sad old country song ends,” Hailey said. “No wonder they’re always crying in their whiskey. If you sing like that, you deserve to have your woman done run off and leave you.”
We both cracked up over that one. “Country music’s big where I come from. In western Pennsylvania, all the rednecks drive around in pickup trucks, looking for things to shoot,” I said. “Then they sit back on the couch on their front porch and get drunk on PBR and Wild Turkey.”
“Where I come from, we make our own whiskey,” Hailey said, referring to her Midwest upbringing. “After a big Saturday night of riding around on your boyfriend’s tractor and making out in the cornfields, or rolling around the hay in the barn, everyone goes cow tipping for some real fun.”
“You can’t tip a cow.”
She laughed. “I know. But it never stopped us from trying.”
I looked over at a guy wearing a black leather vest and painted-on jeans with so many facial piercings I lost count. “We’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.”
“I’ll drink to that.” She clinked her bottle against mine, and we drank to that.
“Zeke’s the one who suggested I invite you.”
“Really?” Hailey asked, surprised.
“Maybe you guys should try being friends first. He’s a good guy.”
“You think he’d be up for being friend-zoned?”
“He and I are just friends so he’s capable of being friends with a girl.”
“Maybe.” She took a sip of her beer and scanned the room. “Killian keeps looking at you. Like, a lot.”
I followed the direction of Hailey’s gaze. Killian’s eyes caught mine, and he took a swig of his whiskey, still watching me. He was doing that thing he did, drawing me in with nothing but his eyes until I felt like I could barely breathe.
“What’s the deal with you guys?” Hailey asked.
“If I knew the deal, I’d tell you.” In the four days since that night at The Rooftop, Killian hadn’t mentioned it. Two nights ago, we went to a twenty-four-hour diner after work. It was me and three guys crammed into a booth. Killian sat next to me, his arm draped across the seat behind me, his thigh pressed against mine. Like he was marking his territory but making no move to do anything about it. Today, when he’d driven me to the art supply store, he’d brought me an iced coffee and a cinnamon roll. We’d talked and laughed all the way and he’d gotten a big kick out of my excitement in the art supply store. But yeah, I had no idea what was going on with us.
“That night at the hospital was so swoony,” Hailey said. “He took care of business, and he did it all for you.”
“Yeah, well, he’s a control freak. It was a little over the top.”
“I’d love it if a guy went over the top for me. And if that guy looked like Killian, I’d be in seventh heaven.”
“Hey,” Zeke said, interrupting our conversation. “Our table’s ready.” He nudged my arm. “Ask Killian to be our fourth.”
I weaved my way through the crowd and stopped in front of Jared and Killian. After greeting Jared, I asked Killian if he wanted to shoot pool with us. “Pool?” he asked, as if the concept was foreign to him.
“You need another drink?” Jared asked him.
Killian looked down at his empty glass as if he was surprised to see it was empty and shook his head. “Nah. I’m good.” He squinted at the pool tables in the back and took deep breaths through his nostrils, like he was gearing up for something monumental. “Let’s do this.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, watching his face. “Are you—”
He reached for my hand and held it in his. As we walked through the bar, I looked down at our joined hands. His warm, strong, calloused hand, the palm pressed against mine, my hand fitting so perfectly inside his made my stomach all fluttery.
I looked up at his face. It was shuttered, his jaw clenched, the muscle in his cheek jumping.
Zeke and Hailey paired up, and she looked all animated now, like she’d gotten a second wind. Killian had let go of my hand and I wasn’t sure how I was feeling. All shaken up and confused, as usual.
We chalked our cue sticks, and a flip of the coin decided that Zeke and Hailey’s team would break.
“How’s your pool game?” Killian asked me.
“They don’t call me Shark for nothing.” I winked at him. What an idiot. Killian chuckled. “How’s your game?”
“I’ve got skills,” he said with a sexy grin.
I gripped my teeth between my lower lip. “I bet you do.”
He nudged my arm and jerked his chin at the pool table, reminding me of the reason we were here. “You’re up. Let’s see what you’ve got, Shark.”
What I’ve got is a racing pulse and a hammering heart. I stared at the pool table. Were we stripes or solids?
“Stripes,” Killian said, his voice laced with humor as he answered a question I hadn’t voiced.
“Yeah. I knew that.” I walked around the table. My dad had taught me and my brothers to shoot pool on the table in our basement. Just concentrate, I coached myself. Line up the shot. Don’t jiggle your cue stick. I leaned over the table and lined up an easy shot to the corner pocket and sunk an orange stripe.
Zeke and Hailey were good. Killian was better than good. I wasn’t a bad pool player either. “You need some pointers?” I teased Killian as he leaned over the table, looking for his shot.
“What do you recommend, Shark?”
“The green in the corner pocket.”
“Too easy. I’ll leave it for you.”
I smacked his arm and he laughed. “Step aside,” he said. “I’ll show you how it’s done.” And he did.
“Show-off,” I teased.
He winked at me, and I decided that I liked this fun, cocky Killian, a big change from the stressed-out Killian from earlier. As the pool game continued, he was fun and sexy and flirty, and I gave it right back to him.
“This is for the win,” he said, as we both studied the table, sizing it up. It wasn’t an easy shot, but I was feeling confident. Or cocky.
“I’ve got this.” I leaned over the table and positioned my cue stick. Killian was watching my ass, not the table. “Enjoying the view?”
“Oh yeah,” he said, with another sexy grin, those dimples on full display.
Honestly, I didn’t know how I was still carrying on with this pool game or how I’d be able to concentrate on my next shot. “Step aside, Hustler,” I said. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”
By some miracle, I nailed the shot. I stared at the table for a few seconds dumbfounded. “We won.”
“Nice one, Shark.” Killian and I went in for high-fives.
“Stop gloating,” Zeke said, but I didn’t think he cared.
I decided to be sensible and call it a night. Hailey and Zeke decided to stay a while, and Killian said he’d walk me home. As we were leaving, a willowy brunette in a black slip dress and silver stilettos walked in the door. Overdressed for a dive bar but she looked like a Victoria’s Secret model. And Adam was right behind her. I grabbed Killian’s arm. Adam’s eye caught mine and he said something in the girl’s ear.
“Fuck,” Killian muttered.
Fuck was right. I didn’t even know the half of it.
“Killian,” the girl said, stopping in front of us. “Have you met my brother, Adam?” She smirked at Killian then her eyes narrowed on me. “You must be Eden.”
I nodded like an idiot. What was going on here?
“I’m Joss. Killian’s former fuck buddy. And Adam’s sister. Small world, isn’t it?” She laughed harshly, and her beautiful face turned ugly.
I glanced at Adam. He swallowed hard, not meeting my eye.
Killian took my hand and led me to the door. Shockingly, Adam stepped aside to let us pass. When we got outside, I took deep breaths.
I heard the door open, letting out the sound of country music and looked over my shoulder at Joss.
“I loved you, asshole,” she screamed.
Killian stopped walking. He rubbed the back of his neck and turned to face her. “You didn’t even know me,” he said, sounding weary.
She erased the distance between us, her eyes narrowed on me again.
“Is this your new fuck buddy? Does he just call you for sex then leave afterwards? He never even stayed the night.” She was crying now, her mascara leaving black trails down her cheeks. “What’s so great about her that you and Adam were fighting over her?”
Joss lunged at Killian and slapped him across the face, the sound ringing in the air. She raised her hand to do it again, but Killian wrapped his hand around her wrist to stop her. “You got your one shot.”
“Fuck you,” she said, dissolving into tears again.
Adam stood back, watching this whole disaster play out. “Come on, Joss. Let’s get out of here.”
She glared at us before she turned and walked away. Killian took my hand again and we started walking. Something hard smacked against my shoulder blade. Ouch.
I turned just as Joss unleashed her other stiletto. Killian blocked it with his body. “Joss,” he said through gritted teeth. He strode over to her and Adam and planted his hands on his hips. “Stay. Away. From. Eden.” Killian leaned in and said something to Adam in a low voice I didn’t catch.
I picked up Joss’s shoes and tossed them in her general direction. Adam scooped them up, grabbed Joss’s arm and led her away.
Killian stood his ground, hands on his hips and watched them until they were gone. I didn’t know what to say or do about any of this, so I started walking. Killian fell into step with me but neither of us said a word.
When we reached my building, I stopped at the bottom of the steps. “I don’t even know what to say about any of this.”
He squinted at something over my shoulder. “I haven’t seen her in months. She was never my girlfriend.”
“Yeah, I picked up on that. You were just fuck buddies.”
He sucked air in through his teeth. “I was honest with her. I never pretended it was something it wasn’t.”
“She seems to think she was in love with you.”
“She’s Adam’s sister. What can you expect?” he asked, attempting to make a joke. It was kind of funny, but it was so messed-up I couldn’t laugh.
He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. His knuckles brushed against my skin and everywhere he touched was electric. “Killian,” I whispered. “What are we doing?”
He cradled my face in his hands and lowered his head, his lips brushing against mine in an almost-kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hand glided through my hair, holding the back of my head. His other arm wrapped around my waist and he kissed me, his lips soft and warm, the stubble on his jaw rough against my skin. My lips parted to let him in, and our tongues swirled together, exploring each other’s mouths, seeking, and searching. My fingers tangled in his thick hair, softer and silkier than I’d imagined it to be. He tasted like something exotic I’d never tasted before. Sweet forbidden fruit or a drug I’d craved without knowing it until now.
We were kissing with a fervent, urgent need, like it was the air we needed to breathe. My body trembled with adrenaline and we adjusted our bodies until there was no space between us, no way we could possibly get closer. My hip pressed against his rigid length and he groaned into my mouth, a low, guttural sound that sent heat pooling between my thighs.
I was coming undone. I’d never been kissed like this before, with so much hunger and intensity and so much of everything. The ground beneath me didn’t feel solid. But I wasn’t sure that Killian was someone I should want. I wasn’t sure what kind of game we were playing or what was going on with us.
With those thoughts invading my brain, I pulled away from him and tried to catch my breath. I was shaking from head to toe and that kiss had left us both in a bad place. He adjusted himself in his jeans and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a ragged breath. I walked away from him on wobbly legs and lowered myself onto a step, in front of my building. Hugging myself, I closed my eyes. He sat next to me, and I felt him there, felt the heat of his body even though we weren’t touching. I tasted him on my lips and with every breath I took, I inhaled his scent.
One kiss and he’d gotten under my skin. Made me yearn for something I wasn’t sure he could give me—more of himself.
“Killian…what are we? Because I’m not…I just feel like you’re messing with my head.”
“Let me come upstairs with you.”
“Why? So, you can get me into bed?” I asked flippantly.
“If I only wanted sex, I’d tell you that.”
Not that it worked with Joss. She’d obviously wanted more. “What do you want from me?”
He rubbed his jaw and squinted into the distance. I waited to hear what would come out of his mouth and hoped it would be a real answer. We’d been doing this dance for too long and this push and pull was giving me whiplash. “I can’t get you out of my head. I think about you all the time.”
It didn’t answer my question, but I felt the same way about him. I was surprised he’d admitted it. We sat in silence, and I replayed the night in my head.
I’m Joss. Killian’s former fuck buddy.
It was naïve to think Killian lived like a monk, but I’d prefer his former conquests to remain nameless and faceless. I’d rather not know that he’d just used her for sex and left afterwards.
Killian told me he didn’t only want me for sex, and I still had no idea where that left us, but I was the fool who had always rushed headlong into danger. This time was no exception.
I bumped his shoulder with mine. “Do you want to come upstairs to not have sex?”