Chapter Thirty-Nine
Killian
I unlocked the front door of Trinity Bar and held it open for Jack Madley. “Eden told me you take it black,” he said, handing me a large cardboard cup from Brickwood Coffee.
“Thanks.” I’d already had three large coffees today, but I took a sip of the one he offered me and locked the door behind him. “How’s Eden?”
“Ava’s with her now.” That didn’t surprise me. In the past three days, Jack hadn’t left Eden’s side. She’d texted me, complaining about his helicopter parenting. He was sleeping on an air mattress on her living room floor, scared to let her out of his sight. I couldn’t blame him. If I had a daughter, I’d be the same way. As it was, I’d hoped to be the one by her side, helping her through this, but I hadn’t had five minutes alone with her since we’d left the hospital. “She’s waking up with nightmares every night.”
I lowered my head and rubbed the back of my neck. Eden hadn’t mentioned that. She kept telling me she felt fine and didn’t understand why everyone was making such a fuss. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t respond. He looked around the inside of the bar, taking it all in. He’d asked to see where Eden worked, and her mural on the back wall, so I ushered him outside to the courtyard and sat across from him at a picnic table, drinking my coffee while he studied the wall. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I couldn’t even tell if he liked it or thought it was any good. It pissed me off that he didn’t comment on her mural, but I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to introduce the real reason he’d stopped by.
“How have you been doing?” he asked, focusing his attention on me.
“Fine.” Shitty. This morning, I met with my father’s lawyer to go over the will. Seamus had left everything to me and Connor, to be divided equally, which had surprised me. When I saw how much money he’d left us, I’d nearly fallen off my fucking chair. How had a cop accrued so much money? Granted, he’d been on the force for thirty years with a chief’s salary for the last five years and all his life he’d been frugal, but that still didn’t explain the three million dollars in his account. The house was mortgage-free and even though it was a crappy house, the realtor said we’d probably get a million for it. Allegedly, it was a good family home in a coveted neighborhood.
After I’d left the lawyer’s office, it hit me. I didn’t know anything about Seamus Vincent.
Had he been a dirty cop? Had he been getting kickbacks? His work on the force had been the one thing that had redeemed him in my eyes. His sense of right and wrong when he’d put that uniform on. But now, I wasn’t certain he’d even been a good cop.
“Eden and I talked this morning,” Jack said. “She told me about your background. Only because I pushed her for answers. She didn’t want to betray your confidence.”
My chest tightened. I’d been keeping those secrets for so long, from everyone, and it wasn’t something I was comfortable talking about or even acknowledging. I wasn’t thrilled Eden’s father knew about my background. It felt like the odds were stacked against me. After everything that had happened, and everything he knew about me, how could I be deemed a suitable boyfriend for this man’s daughter?
“I grew up in a tough neighborhood in Philly,” he said. “My old man was a con artist and a gambler.”
My brows raised. I hadn’t expected that. Jack chuckled at my reaction. “He used to swindle old ladies out of their savings. A real stand-up guy. He’d take the winnings to Atlantic City and blow it at the craps table. Sometimes he’d win, and we’d get shiny new toys, and my mom would get a piece of jewelry. Other times he lost. And when he lost, he lost big. My mom’s jewelry went to the pawn shop. She’d take on extra hours at work, clean houses, do whatever she could to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. She was always threatening to leave him. But she never did.” He looked off into the distance, caught up in his memories.
“All my life, I wanted to be everything my father wasn’t. When I went to Penn State, I told myself this is it. A fresh start. But I wanted to have a good time and party and all the things I wanted cost money. So, I came up with all kinds of schemes. I used to drive into Jersey or New York. The drinking age was only eighteen in those states at the time. I’d load up the trunk with cheap liquor, drive back to campus, and sell it at a huge profit. Turned out I had a knack for poker and shooting pool too. And I was a damn good hustler. By the time I was a senior, I thought I was a legend. Then I met Eden’s mom. We didn’t exactly travel in the same circles, but she knew who I was by reputation and she didn’t want to get anywhere near me. But, for me, it was love at first sight and I wasn’t about to let her go. So, I told her I’d go straight. No more shady dealings. No more hustling. That worked out great for a while. I got the girl. She kind of liked me. Up until her birthday in April. We were graduating in a month, and I decided to give her a big diamond engagement ring. But I needed money. So, I went back to my old ways. Made a shitload of cash, bought her a big shiny ring, and took her out to dinner. I proposed. She said no.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “She was stubborn, that woman. And she was pissed off like you wouldn’t believe.”
I smiled, thinking about Eden who was also stubborn. “I can believe it.”
“Yeah, I guess you can. Eden’s a lot like her mother.”
“So, how did you win the girl?” I asked, curious despite myself. I wondered if Eden had ever heard this story. It surprised me that Jack Madley hadn’t always been straight-edge, but I respected him even more now. He’d turned his life around and had gotten out from under his father’s shadow. Built a good life for himself and his family.
“The hard way. I lost the girl. She told me I had no direction in my life and I needed to get my act together. She went off and got a teaching job. I went back to Philly and fell in with my old friends again. My old man died. Heart attack. And I thought I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. But months later, it hit me like a freight train. At the end of the day, he had still been my father. But what hit me the hardest was I was becoming just like him. So, I got my ass in gear and by some miracle, they accepted me into the Police Academy. Now, you’d think she would have welcomed me back with open arms. But no. I had to fight to win her back. That woman made me wait until I’d graduated from the academy before she finally decided I was worthy. It was the best thing she could have done for me. If she’d taken me back right away, I might never have finished what I’d started.”
He met my gaze across the table, and I knew by the look on his face I wouldn’t like what he was about to tell me. “This isn’t personal, son. I like you. And I know you love my daughter and she loves you. But you have a lot of things in your life to work through.”
“You’re telling me I need to get my shit together.”
“That’s what I’m telling you.”
“Before I’m worthy of Eden,” I said, filling in the words he’d implied.
“I’m not saying you’re not worthy. I’m saying you have a lot to deal with. And I don’t want my daughter living alone in Brooklyn. I haven’t told her yet but after the funeral, she’s coming home with me.”
My stomach twisted into knots. It didn’t sound like he was talking about a short visit. I’d known this was coming. It was what I’d been dreading since I’d called him from the ER. But still, I’d held out hope he’d prove me wrong. That, for once, the other shoe wouldn’t drop. “She won’t be happy about that.”
“You’ll need to convince her it’s for the best.”
“You’re asking me to give her up.” He wasn’t asking me, he was telling me.
“If it’s meant to be, time apart will make your love stronger.”
Time apart. I didn’t want to be without her. Not for a single fucking minute. The past three days had been hard enough on me. But that was me being selfish and not putting her needs first.
“I’m going to offer to pay for art school,” Jack said, sweetening the deal. He’d obviously given this a lot of thought, probably worked it all out on his three-hundred-mile drive to the hospital on Thursday night. “They have a good art school in Pittsburgh. She can live at home and do something she loves.”
I was tempted to beat him to the punch. Call Eden and tell her I’d buy us an apartment and pay for her tuition at Pratt Institute. She wouldn’t need to work at the bar anymore. We didn’t even need to stay in Brooklyn. We’d move to the mountains or the beach. Somewhere with a good art scene. We could live anywhere she wanted to live. But this man was her father. He was a good man who only wanted the best for his daughter. He was doing this out of love. How could I argue with that? I couldn’t. Any more than I could keep her safe when I’d promised him I would.
I nodded, my heart heavy. I wanted him to leave now, but he stayed, and he kept talking, telling me more things I didn’t want to hear.
“I’m going to get her counseling,” Jack said. “And I recommend you do the same. You’ve been through a lot. It helps to talk through it with a professional.”
I nodded again, although I had no intention of seeing a shrink.
“I’m serious,” he said. I’d been slipping lately. He’d seen the skepticism on my face. That was what happened when you bared your heart to the person you loved. I needed to start locking down my emotions again, shuttering my face so nobody could read it. “I told Sawyer the same thing. He’s gotta deal with his PTSD and so do you.”
“Okay,” I said, to make him happy. I’d rather go nine rounds with Mike Tyson with my hands tied behind my back than sit in a shrink’s office and let him analyze me.
“Good,” he said, as if it was all settled and he was satisfied with the outcome. “I’m counting on you to make this plan work. Eventually, you’ll realize this is the best thing you could do for her.”
Jack Madley was a clever man. He knew how to use the emotional artillery in his armory against me. He was appealing to Killian, the caretaker, not to the boyfriend who felt like he’d be ripping out his own beating heart to let her go. We stood, our conversation over. Jack, at least, seemed happy with the outcome. I had that feeling of numbness inside—that nothingness I used to feel before Eden came into my life.
Before he left, Jack clapped me on the shoulder. “You ever need me, call me.” I heard the sincerity in his voice. The offer was genuine, like he truly cared. “I don’t usually talk this much but I’m a pretty good listener. And you’re always welcome to visit Eden in Pennsylvania.”
Fucking perfect. I’d get to visit Eden and sleep down the hall from her. And I’d been tasked with convincing her it was for the best. How could he ask so much of me yet still act like he gave a damn about me?
“Thanks.” I tried to sound like I meant it even though I didn’t feel an ounce of gratitude.
But I needed to remember why we’d had this chat in the first place. If Eden hadn’t gotten involved with me, she wouldn’t have been in my house that night. She wouldn’t have had a gun held to her head. She wouldn’t have been knocked out, tied up, and beaten. And she wouldn’t be waking up with nightmares every night. Jack Madley wasn’t the bad guy in this scenario. That honor fell to me…and to Connor, who I still couldn’t bring myself to visit. If I went to see him right now, I might be tempted to strangle him with my own two hands.
Don’t fuck this up for me, Connor.
You act like I don’t want you to be happy.
Yeah. Why would I have ever thought that?