Chapter Twenty-One
Killian
I was so far gone I didn’t have a hope in hell. One night and she was under my skin. Those were my first thoughts when I woke up the next morning, her warm body curled against mine. My next thought was that I was so hard my dick hurt. She pressed her ass against it, and I thought she did it in her sleep, until I heard her husky laugh.
“Evil temptress,” I said.
“You called me a dirty angel last night.”
“I called you a lot of things last night.”
“Mm, you’re creative.” She turned around in my arms to face me. Even in the morning, make-up free and her hair wild and tangled, she was gorgeous. “Good morning.”
Damn if it wasn’t the best morning I could ever remember. I’d never slept in a girl’s bed all night. I’d never woken up in one. I never wanted to leave this bed with its snowy white sheets and downy comforter. The shades were drawn and the air conditioner under her window clanked and hissed, but I’d closed her bedroom door, turned it on high, and it did the job keeping the room nice and cool. She leaned over and grabbed a condom from her bedside table. Last night, I was happy to see that the box hadn’t been opened yet. “Round three?” she asked, with a wink.
“I don’t know. You’re a delicate flower. You sure you’re up for it?”
“Looks like you’re up for it.” She pulled back the covers to reveal the evidence. “I’m sure I can make the effort.”
She fisted my cock, and I watched her hand move up and down, exerting the perfect amount of pressure. My balls were drawn up so tight, I felt like I was going to explode in her hand. “Oh…God,” I groaned.
“You can call me Eden.”
“Eden. Eden. Eden.” What are you doing to me?
She kept a grip on my dick and ripped opened the condom packet with her teeth. I snatched it out of her mouth, rolled it over my erection and pulled her on top of me. She took me in her hand and guided me inside her. She was already wet for me. I wrapped my hands around her hips, intent on controlling the pace. If she kept grinding against me like this I wouldn’t last two seconds. But she had other ideas. “Hands behind your head.”
I slid my hands up her sides and held her breasts in my hands, thumbing the pink nipples that hardened under my touch. “But think of all the things they can do for you.”
She grabbed my wrists and pushed my arms down on either side of my head. “Let me show you what I can do.”
“I love it when you talk dirty.” I laced my fingers behind my head and let her take control. Her idea of taking control was taking control of me and herself.
I scowled at her. “That’s my job.”
“Just sit back and watch.”
Oh fuck. She threw her head back, fingering her clit, riding me hard, and squeezing my nipple between her fingers, her palm flat on my chest for support. Her long blonde hair, silky and soft, flowed down her back and caressed my thighs. I rolled my hips and she let out a moan that would put porn stars to shame.
“Are you close?” I asked, my voice strained. I was barely hanging on, and if she didn’t come soon I’d lose it. “Baby…”
“Killian,” she screamed. Her eyes closed, and her mouth dropped open, her muscles clenching around my cock. I sat up, wrapped my arms around her quivering body and exploded inside her.
Nothing had ever felt this good.
My back collapsed against the bed, my arms still holding her, bringing her down with me. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move a muscle. She lay on top of me, her legs shaking like she had no control over them, her arms wrapped around my neck, her face pressed against my neck.
“I can’t move,” she mumbled.
“Don’t. We’ll stay here all day.”
“Like Yoko Ono and John Lennon.”
She lost me there. She climbed off me, and I reached for the condom, but she smacked my hand away and took care of it herself.
“Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had,” I said, in a teasing tone. I wasn’t teasing though. I wanted it to be like that for her because it was for me.
“I just rode you like a cowgirl. What more could you want?”
An answer.
I watched her walk across the bedroom, naked, the condom dangling from her fingers. Jesus. I rubbed my hands over my face. One night will never be enough.
“You’re the best I’ve ever had,” she called from the hallway before the bathroom door closed behind her.
With a stupid grin on my face, I got dressed.
I was putting on my boots when she sauntered into the bedroom, wearing a short, silky green robe that matched her eyes. Jealousy seized me. Did her ex-boyfriend give it to her? Did she wear it after she had sex with him? How could anyone think there was something better out there than her? I’d been with too many women to count, but they’d all left me feeling cold. Or numb. Not Eden. She made me feel too much of everything. I wrapped my hand around her wrist and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. “Listen…about last night…”
Her phone buzzed on the bedside table. A number with no name. She stared at it, chewing on her bottom lip then reached over and pressed the silent button.
“Was that him?” I asked. My arms tightened around her as if I were a human shield, protecting her from the evil forces.
“Yeah. But I never answer.”
That surprised me. Eden wasn’t scared of confrontation, and she wasn’t the type to run and hide or stick her head in the sand. She called me out on everything and didn’t hesitate to try and set me straight or push me for answers. “Why not?”
She shrugged.
“Why don’t you answer?” I asked, really needing to know. Maybe the question was, why did he keep calling?
“What can he say to justify his actions? Nothing. And it’s not like we’d ever get back together again. I don’t know why he keeps calling. What’s the point?”
“You never talked to him after you caught them together?”
“No,” she said, chewing on her lower lip. That was her thing. She did it when she was nervous. “But I will talk to him. Eventually.”
I couldn’t blame her for not talking to him though. What could he say? The asshole never deserved her. But she might still be in love with him and that thought hit me in the gut. She’d spent five years in a committed relationship with the guy, so she must have loved him. I’d spent one night with her, and weeks before that trying to convince myself I should leave her alone. Nothing I did worked. When I closed my eyes, I saw her face. After I downed a few glasses of Jameson, I wanted to call her and hear her voice. My hand didn’t satisfy my needs. Nothing did. But now I couldn’t imagine letting her go.
“What were you going to tell me?” she asked, and it sounded like she was steeling herself for bad news. “Because I don’t want last night to be a one-night stand. I want to keep doing this. We don’t need to be in a real relationship. We can just hook up.”
“That’s what you want?”
“Yeah. That’s what I want.” But I could hear it in her voice it wasn’t what she wanted. “What do you think?”
I thought it sucked. It wasn’t nearly enough. She deserved better, and I wasn’t sure I could give it to her, but I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to be the guy who took her out to dinner, brought her flowers, and woke up with her in the morning. The thought of another guy doing that made me sick to my stomach. I’d never been jealous before, but now I was jealous of any guy who’d gone before me or any guy she might be with that wasn’t me. “I think it’s a bad idea.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Oh. Okay.”
“You’re with me. Nobody else. This wasn’t a one-night stand and we’re not just hooking up.”
“What? But you just said…” Her brows puckered. It was adorable. Everything she did was adorable. Yeah, I was fucked. “You want a relationship?”
Was that what I wanted? I couldn’t deal with the alternative. Letting her go. Taking the risk that she’d find someone else. Or hook up with random guys. No. Not happening. “Yeah, that’s what I want. You?”
She took a minute to think about it then she smiled and wrapped an arm around my neck and snuggled against my chest. “Yeah, I do. Hooking up just makes me feel kind of empty.”
This morning, I felt a lot of things. Empty wasn’t one of them. I gave her a little squeeze. “So why did you say it was what you wanted?”
“I don’t know. I just…you’re not a relationship guy.”
“You’ll have to show me how it’s done,” I said.
She turned her body towards me and looked me in the eye, her green eyes so clear and bright, searching for truth. Wanting to trust me, but not sure if she could. I knew what she was going to ask me before she said it. “I need you to promise me one thing.”
“I won’t cheat on you,” I said, beating her to the punch, my specialty.
“Promise?”
“On my life.” I was a lot of things, not all of them good, but I’d never go behind her back with someone else. I hadn’t even looked at another woman or encouraged their advances since I met her. She watched me at the bar as much as I watched her, so she knew that. “If I did something like that, you’d have my permission to bash the hell out of my car and then swing the bat at my head.”
“I’d never hurt you, Killian,” she said softly.
The way she said it just about killed me. I knew she was saying she wouldn’t physically hurt me, and she was looking at the scar on my neck while she said it. She looked at it a lot, her eyes filled with questions I had no intention of ever answering honestly. But I couldn’t help feeling like she was talking about another kind of hurt, and that was a promise neither one of us could make. Life was messy and complicated. I was messy and complicated. Shit happened. Hearts got broken, intentionally or not. I’d always safeguarded mine, kept it out of danger by never getting too close to any woman. One-night stands and casual hookups had been a way of life for me and it had never been difficult to keep those boundaries in place. Until her.
I was as much at her mercy, as she was at mine. That, right there, was some scary shit.
Lifting her off my lap, I set her on the bed next to me, and leaned down to tie my laces. When I stood, she came to stand in front of me and took both my hands in hers.
“We can take it slow,” Eden said, but I thought we’d already passed slow and moved into turbo-charge. Neither one of us was built for the slow lane, and once I committed to something, I never did it in half-measures. It was all or nothing for me, and I got the feeling she wasn’t that much different. But I kept that to myself. All we could do was ride this out and see where it took us. I could only hope we ended up somewhere good.
“Ready to go?” I eyed her sexy little robe that told me she wasn’t ready to go anywhere.
“Go where?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
I laughed. She’d forgotten all about painting the wall. When it finally dawned on her, she smacked herself on the forehead and groaned. “Just give me two minutes.” She held up two fingers and flew to her dresser. After rummaging around in the drawers, she came out with shorts, a top, and a matching bra and underwear set—blue trimmed in silver. Now I’d know what was under her clothes. Pure, delicious torture.