Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eden
“You decent?” Sawyer yelled on the other side of my bedroom door as I gave myself a onceover in the full-length mirror on the back of my closet door. My dad always threw a welcome home party for Sawyer and tonight was no exception. Sawyer barreled into my room without waiting for a reply, an open beer in his hand and two more cans stuffed in the pockets of his cargo shorts. His eyes were glossy, and I wondered how much he’d already had to drink.
He tossed me a beer and I caught it in one hand and tapped the top before I popped it open, catching the foam in my mouth. Sawyer collapsed on my bed, in no hurry to join this party. I looked out my bedroom window at the backyard—our two-acre property extended back to the woods where we used to spend a lot of time as kids.
My dad and his friends were huddled around the grill on the deck below my window, and the smoke curled up into the air, the aroma of grilled burgers and hot dogs coming in through my second-floor window. Dad’s music—classic rock—was blasting from the speakers and Springsteen was singing about busting out of school and not surrendering. Kate, pretty and petite in a yellow sundress, her dark hair smooth and glossy, tapped him on the shoulder. When he saw her, the smile on his face matched hers. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her on the mouth. I turned away from the window, with a little smile.
I sank into my oversized beanbag and tugged down the hem of my blue cotton mini dress. “Have you seen Killian?” As predicted, Killian had been instructed to stay in Garrett’s old room. After we’d arrived, we took naps separately and I hadn’t seen him since.
“He’s in the shower,” Sawyer said, guzzling his beer like he was on a mission to see how fast he could get drunk. He downed his beer and tossed the empty can in the wastepaper basket next to my dresser then cracked open another beer. “You love him?”
Love. That was a big word. But I felt like I could love him. Killian would be easy to love. Easy for me to love. “I don’t know. I’m crazy about him, though. I feel like…” Sawyer and I had never discussed our love lives before. As close as we’d always been, that was an area we never ventured into. “On paper, Luke was perfect, you know? But with Killian, I feel like he accepts me for who I am, my faults and weaknesses, and he’s not trying to change me.”
“Well, you are his sunshine.”
I grinned. “Exactly.”
“Glad you’re happy,” he said gruffly.
“Thanks. Are you—”
“Yoo hoo,” I heard on the other side of my door and then Cassidy was in my room, with Brianna and what looked like the rest of my old cheering squad.
“Oh. My. God,” Brianna whispered, her eyes wide. “Who is that?”
I looked over at Killian standing in the doorway. Shirtless. “Where’s your shirt?”
“In the room.”
“Go put it on.” I shooed him out the door with my hands, although I was clear across the room, still ensconced in my beanbag.
He chuckled and pranced down the hallway. Half the cheerleading squad swiveled their heads to watch him. The other half ogled Sawyer lounging on my bed, and Brianna dove on top of him. “Hey, baby,” Bri said, planting a big kiss on his lips. “Missed you.”
“Oh yeah? Wanna show me how much?”
I groaned, and seconds later a bunch of guys from Sawyer’s high school football team crowded into my bedroom. It was too small to accommodate all the sweat and hormones, not to mention the aftershave someone had used too liberally. Cameron, the former linebacker, and Sawyer’s best friend from high school, pulled me out of the beanbag and threw me over his shoulder. “Put me down.” I pounded his back. He was built like a refrigerator, almost too wide to fit through my door.
This was one of his party tricks. He wouldn’t put me down until I was outside in the backyard, after he’d run a victory lap. This used to be my life. Sigh. “Killian,” I called out as Cameron trotted past Garrett’s old room. “Rescue me from this brute.” Since I was laughing, I didn’t think Killian took it seriously.
Cameron spun around in a circle. I lifted my head and looked over my shoulder at Killian standing in the doorway. I was happy to note he’d donned a T-shirt. “Holy shit,” Cameron said. “I’m a big fan, dude.”
I groaned. Killian managed to avoid this in Brooklyn but a few hours in western Pennsylvania and he was being subjected to his worst nightmare. Killian Vincent fever had reached a high pitch. But I saw my exit strategy, and I was an opportunist, so I took it. “Cam, let me down. I’ll introduce you.”
Cameron let me down without a struggle and Killian tucked me close to his side. I felt like he needed the support more than I did.
I made the introductions and Killian got to meet the football team and the cheerleaders. He was ogled at and fangirled over in equal measure.
“I was her first kiss,” Cameron informed Killian when we’d all gotten outside, with beers in our hands.
“Most awkward kiss on the planet,” I said.
“She’s exaggerating.” Cameron winked at me. “But not by much.”
We all drank and made merry, talked, and laughed, and everyone got over the fact that Killian was a former UFC fighter. Nobody mentioned Luke or Lexie or the baby that must have been born by now either.
Killian slung an arm around my shoulder and I looked up at him, a big smile on my face. “It’s so weird to see you here. But in a good way.”
From the deck, the opening chords of Linkin Park’s “Bleed It Out” blasted from the sound system. Cameron was manning the music and pumped the air. “Tune,” he yelled, pointing his arm at Killian.
A look passed between Sawyer and Killian who was rubbing the back of his neck.
“Change it, Cam,” Sawyer instructed.
“It’s okay,” Killian said.
“Change it,” Sawyer said again.
Cam looked perplexed, but he changed the music.
“What’s wrong with that song?” I asked Killian.
“It was my walkout song. It’s not a big deal.”
I wrapped an arm around his waist and took a sip of my beer. “Is this hard for you?”
He kissed me on the lips. “No.”
But I didn’t believe him. Everyone was reminding him about the life he’d had before, a life he’d loved but couldn’t go back to because he felt too guilty. If, for some reason, I couldn’t do my art anymore, I’d be a little lost. Maybe it wasn’t the same, and you couldn’t compare it, but art was my passion in the same way MMA had been for Killian. Since I’d moved to Brooklyn, it had become even more important in my life. Jared asked me to paint a mural on the side of his tattoo shop when I got back to Brooklyn. I knew it was Killian’s idea, and that he’d asked Jared if I could do it. I only knew that because Jared told me. I wanted to find a way to help Killian find a new passion, but I had no idea how to do that.
He pulled me in front of him and wrapped his arms around me, my back against his chest. “Stop worrying,” he murmured in my ear.
I leaned back against him and we talked and joked with my old friends and my brothers.
“Eden was the queen bee of our high school,” Cassidy said, and I caught a tone in her voice that crossed over the line of friendly. She was obviously in Lexie’s camp now.
“Well, duh,” Brianna said, coming to my defense. “Eden rocks.”
“We rocked it together,” I said.
“Yeah, we did, babe.” She grinned at me, then jerked her head towards Cassidy, raising her eyebrows.
I shrugged. Sawyer and Garrett recounted a few stupid childhood tales, all at my expense might I add, that got us all laughing and dispelled whatever tension Cassidy had created.
“She was hell on wheels,” Sawyer told Killian. “Hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“I’ve calmed down a lot. I’m a mature, responsible adult now.”
Sawyer and Killian cracked up over that one, although I hadn’t been trying to be funny. I elbowed Killian in the ribs. “Just for that, you’re eating cake tomorrow.”
“No cake.”
I smirked. “You’re getting the Eden Madley birthday special.”
He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Your naked body wrapped in a bow?”
“That can be arranged.”
“You’re the gift that keeps on giving.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
Later that night, alone in my bedroom, I watched through my open window as Sawyer and Killian disappeared into the woods behind our house, a bottle of Jack Daniels in Sawyer’s hand. They’d bonded just like I’d hoped they would.
I changed into a tank top and sleep shorts and lay on my bed like a starfish, my body sticky from the August heat and humidity. It was so quiet here. I missed the noise of the city, the lullaby that rocked me to sleep now—the early morning garbage trucks, sirens, and the constant hum of voices and traffic. I missed the smell of Brooklyn—the pungent aroma of cheese from the shop across from Brickwood Coffee, roasted pork from Jimmy’s taco truck, garbage and asphalt, the scent of freshly baked bread in Greenpoint on early Sunday mornings when I stayed at Killian’s.
As much as I love my family, being back here made me realize that Brooklyn is my home now. I was grateful that I wasn’t stuck in small-town Pennsylvania, living with Luke’s parents, looking after a baby at the age of twenty-two.
Luke had done a shitty thing and he’d hurt me, but my heart wasn’t broken like I thought it was. I’d wanted to be a different girl, expand my horizons, and explore the great beyond, but with Luke I’d stayed in a holding pattern, not growing, or changing. I’d held so much of myself back from him, confined to that box he’d kept me in.
With Killian, I’d been myself right from the start, not holding anything back. And he liked me just as I was.
* * *
Of course, I snuck into Garrett’s room and stayed with Killian. What my dad didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Unfortunately, a six-thirty a.m. wakeup call came in the form of Sawyer pounding on the bedroom door. I burrowed under the covers as the door burst open. Privacy, in our house, was a joke.
Something hit my arm, forcing me to blow my cover which hadn’t been much of a cover at all. I pulled back the covers, grabbed Sawyer’s Nike and pelted it at his head. He ducked, and it hit the bedroom door with a thwack. “This is war,” I declared. “You asked for it.”
Sawyer laughed at my ridiculous statement, and so did Killian. I glared at one and then the other before I threw back the covers, jumped out of bed and flew at Sawyer, trying to knock him over. Fat chance of that. He threw me over his shoulder and deposited me on the bed.
I flopped back on the bed. This was all too much for this early hour. It was barely light outside. I sniffed the air. “Is that bacon?”
“Dad’s on KP duty,” Sawyer said then looked at Killian. “Ready for that run?”
“Give me two minutes,” Killian said.
“Meet you out back.”
“Did you guys make this plan without me? I’m going with you,” I said, even though running at this hour was the last thing I wanted to do.
“What did I tell you?” Sawyer asked, and Killian chuckled, sharing an inside joke I wasn’t privy to. “She hates to be left out of anything.”
“Tell me about it,” Killian said.
After Sawyer left, I elbowed Killian in the ribs. “You’re on my team. No defecting to Team Sawyer.”
“Whatever you say, Sunshine.”
“Happy birthday, baby.”