Chapter Eleven
“Twice in one day,” Allen said to Kat as he walked in, his huge frame filling the office. Stephen saw Kat’s shoulders tense. She said nothing as she stepped around him, not easy in the small space. But she didn’t go through the door Allen had left open, instead went back to her spot by the window, which for the life of him he didn’t understand, since she’d been in such a rush to get out of his office. She wouldn’t even look at him, for Christ’s sake.
“Chandler,” Allen greeted as he moved his gaze from Kat to him. “Just a few questions. You want to call your lawyer before we begin?” Allen pulled out his notebook and pen, his sarcastic tone unchecked. Hard to imagine they’d once had a friendly working relationship. But that had gone to shit before his family’s crimes. He’d ruined that all on his own when he’d been trying to protect Kat.
“Just get to the point.” He’d given his formal statement to Robinson first thing this morning, but the fear that Allen was here to arrest him hung over his head, had him breaking out in a cold sweat. All day he’d felt it, the impending sense of doom, unable to shake it. And now if Kat were to witness it? Jesus.
“Seems your brother Alex went off the grid. Missed his last two check-ins. And his informant was found murdered in his apartment. You know anything about that?”
Relief that Allen wasn’t here to arrest him warred with dread over this new line of questioning. “I was with the DEA when they found the body. Alessandro will verify that.”
“He did,” Allen agreed, and Stephen wondered how the hell he already knew.
“Have you seen Alex since then?”
“No.”
“Know where he is?”
“No.” At least he hadn’t had to lie, Stephen thought as he held Allen’s gaze, refusing to be the first one to look away.
“No?” Allen repeated. “You didn’t know he’s in town?”
Allen didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he threw a photo on Stephen’s desk. A photo of Alex, although it took him a minute to recognize him. The photo was grainy, obviously from a security camera. Emma’s security camera. He recognized the outside of her condo, the Catskill Creek in the background. Taken yesterday afternoon, according to the date stamp on the bottom. Allen threw another photo on his desk and it didn’t take a genius to see that Alex was threatening Emma. He had hold of her arm, his face in hers, full of fury. And they kept coming, each one more incriminating than the last.
“You see him at the party last night?”
“He wasn’t there,” Stephen said stiffly. As far as he knew, Stephen added silently. But holy fuck, what the hell was Alex doing? Every member of his family had motive, would be considered a person of interest. But hell, Alex had probably just moved to the top of the list right along with Stephen. And he knew in that moment, he’d protect Alex with his life. Because there was no way Alex would have killed Emma.
Just like your honorable grandfather wouldn’t?
The question mocked him, but he didn’t let any of it show on his face as shoved the photographs away without comment.
“What time did you get back upstate yesterday?”
“I don’t know. Somewhere around ten in the morning.”
Allen looked down at his notes. “You were with the DEA until about three. Where were you after that?”
“Getting my car out of impound.”
“He was with me,” Kat said at the same time.
Stephen shot her a glance, willing her to keep her mouth shut. Allen smirked before making a show of flipping through his notebook, his pen thumping on the page a few times as he pretended to read. “Earlier you stated you were with Ethan O’Rourke. Which is it?”
He glanced at Kat, her expression revealing exactly what she thought of Allen.
And then she smiled. A truly wicked smile. Stephen was just about to open his mouth, but wasn’t fast enough. “I was with both of them,” she mocked, her insinuation impossible to miss.
A stifled noise, somewhere between a laugh and a gasp, from Stephen’s door forced him to take look away from Kat, and he barely kept himself from exploding. One of the paralegals stood in the open doorway, desperately trying to hang onto the files in her arms that were in danger of falling to the floor. She shot Stephen a look, backing away, but it was too late. The fucking gossip would be through the entire four floors before they were even out of the building.
Allen smirked at Stephen again as he rose from the chair, slowly grabbing his notebook and putting it back into his pocket. “Not that I have to say it, but don’t leave town. And if you hear from Alex, give me a shout.”
Counting to ten as soon as Allen was out of the office, Stephen glared at Kat while slowly counting again, giving Allen enough time get wherever the fuck he was going so they wouldn’t run into him again.
“What the hell?” he growled under his breath, loud enough so only she could hear him.
“For the record, I didn’t think it’d be on record,” Kat said with an unconcerned shrug.
Stephen didn’t bother replying, just cut her a look that he hoped conveyed all the anger roaring through him, remembering at the last second to school his expression as he motioned her out the door, closing it behind him. Kat followed without further comment as Stephen bypassed the bank of elevators and took the stairs to the street level, nodding at the sheriff’s deputy as they walked onto the street.
No press, he noticed, thankful for the Catskill PD across the street, clearing loiters. He made his way to his mother’s car, unlocking it with the key fob. Resisting the urge to grab Kat’s arm, he motioned her toward the passenger side.
“I parked down in the lot—”
Kat stopped abruptly when he glared at her. “Get in the car. I’ll drive you down.” He didn’t give her a choice, blocking her escape, knowing she wouldn’t cause a scene.
“Jesus, Kat,” he said as soon as he pulled out of his spot, the roar of the engine a little too loud as he gunned the accelerator. It wasn’t so much her words that pissed him off. It was the goddamned images that had immediately popped into his head, the ones he couldn’t fucking shake. Ethan’s hands on her, touching her, kissing her…
Shit! He punched the steering wheel and shook his head, literally trying to shake the images away. Regret for everything he’d said and done last night whipped through him. This was his fault. He hadn’t just pushed, he’d shoved her into Ethan’s arms. Yet he hadn’t been prepared for the utter devastation he’d feel at losing her.
“Oh come on, Stephen. Allen’s already all but accused me of sleeping with the both of you.”
“And are you?” He roared the words, nearly flinching when they echoed through the car’s interior. Regret on top of regret blasted through him, had him kicking himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He slammed on the brakes, catching sight of the red light just before he blew through it, the blaring horns making his heart pound faster. He hit the turn signal with a little more force than necessary, the anger all but vibrating through his body. Jesus, this was escalating way too fast, turning into a fight he so didn’t want to have. Not with her, not ever again.
“Define sleeping—” Kat began, venom dripping from every word, backing off when he glared at her. And if he thought he’d been pissed off a second ago, well now he felt like exploding. She must have understood that on some level because she cut herself off, the jealousy he was trying so hard to control, nearly consuming him. The pain a razor-sharp knife slicing through his heart. Because he had no fucking doubt Ethan had been in her bed last night.
Control. He needed to get himself under control—
“We haven’t been together in weeks.”
Control flew out the window. “When? When were you with him?”
“What?” Kat said, whipping around to face him. “No! I meant you and I haven’t been together with for weeks.”
If he was rational, he’d have known that was what she meant. Maybe. If the jealousy wasn’t so damn close to the surface, consuming him. If he could just get those damned images out of his head.
“And you have no right to ask—”
“I have every right to ask!” he thundered, slamming the car into second as he took the turn up his neighbor’s driveway, cursing the press that waited at the bottom of his, locked out by the gates he’d never had to use before.
She was his, damn it. Proven by the panic thundering through him at the thought that he’d fucked everything up between them last night. It was time to backtrack, beg for forgiveness, lay out all his cards on the table.
So she can be devastated all over again when I’m arrested for murder?
No fucking way in hell. He was not a murderer. His name might be shit right now, but he wasn’t giving up the fight. Either one of them. He’d clear his name and get Kat back in his arms.
Because I have so much to offer her.
He’d just gotten the first rejection ten minutes before Kat walked in, the first of many, he thought. “Thank you for your application, Mr. Chandler. However…”
“Bullshit, Chandler!” she mocked, purposely emphasizing his last name. “You gave up that right.”
He had. Not once, but twice. Stephen turned off the car and the sudden silence seemed to knock Kat out of her rant. “And it was a fucking mistake. One I intend to rectify. Starting now.”
He caught her off guard. She snapped her mouth closed, at least until she realized they weren’t at the lower parking lot by the county offices. “You lied!”
“Yeah well, it’s not like I have a reputation to uphold,” Stephen replied, opening his eyes, seeing a flash of guilt going through hers. Shit, there were so many things wrong between them. And he so desperately wanted to fix every single one, clear up every misunderstanding between them no matter how long it took.
She scrambled out of the car, as if there were anywhere for her to go. He did the same, closing the door behind him. “Follow me,” he growled, making his way toward his house, hoping the short walk through the trees between his and his neighbor’s would knock the tension down a notch or two. He’d taken a few steps, hoping she’d follow, but of course, that would have been too much to expect, wouldn’t it?
As if sensing the change, Kat glanced up at him, nervously playing with the strap of her bag, glancing in every direction except for his. He waited a few beats, reigned his temper in as best he could and tried a different tactic.
“Run, sweetheart,” he growled. “See how far you make it.” Not so much a warning as a dare. He let his lips curl up in a sinful smile, his expression showing her every single thing he’d do to her when he caught her, praying she’d take the bait.
And he waited her out, watching as she looked from one end of the property to the other, gauging her chances, calculating the odds of outrunning him, ready to pounce at her slightest movement. Praying she’d do it because it would give him an excuse to get his hands on her again. See if she still melted into him at his slightest touch. But she didn’t, much to his disappointment.
“Take me back.”
Not even so much as a sassy comeback, a sexual innuendo, or an insult. Inwardly, he sighed with regret, even knowing touching her before they cleared the air between them would be a mistake, moving forward would be even more difficult.
“Not a chance in hell, sweetheart. You want a battle tonight? I’ll give you one, but you’re not leaving until we talk.” Or fight, whichever she preferred, because even though he’d failed to bring out that smart ass mouth of hers, he still had her exactly where he wanted her. And he wasn’t letting her go until they were finished. “I’m asking for a little trust here.”
Kat drew in a sharp breath, glaring at him. “I already apologized. And I didn’t come here for this. I don’t want this.”
Car tires crunching on gravel had Stephen on full alert, relaxing only a little when he recognized his neighbor’s car instead of the press that had dogged his every step as soon as that story ran this morning. Risking Kat’s anger, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the trees, refusing to let go until they made it to his terrace. “What exactly is it you don’t want, Kat? Me? Fine,” he said through gritted teeth, even though the words killed him. “You want to walk away after this, I won’t stop you,” he lied. “But we need to talk, clear the air between us.”
He waited for her to say something, anything. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you meant last night.” Those words she’d so cruelly uttered, still stabbing him.
“I already told you—”
“No, you told me how you didn’t mean them. I want to know how you did mean them.”
Kat huffed out a breath and he could see the spark of anger lighting her eyes again, but this was too damn important to let go, because if she didn’t trust him as far as her safety, there was no point to the rest of it, was there?
Kat shook her head, refusing to answer, refusing to even look at him, just as she’d done in his office earlier. Stephen tried to be patient as they stood there, as she looked down at the boats that raced up and down the Hudson River. His body all but shook with the urge to pull her into his arms, show her everything he felt.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The fuck it doesn’t,” Stephen growled, losing the battle to remain calm once again. “Because you know what I thought? I thought you did blame me and when you screamed those words, it pulled that night right back to the forefront of my mind. All the guilt and pain I felt, seeing you like that, seeing my grandfather trying to kill you! And knowing it was my family that destroyed yours, nearly destroyed me! So damn it, Kat, you will tell me what you fucking meant!”
“You left me!” she yelled, and it blew his mind, made his head spin. “You said we’d work it out, you said we’d get through it. And I believed you. Trusted you. Then you threw me into another man’s arms and walked away!”
And the dread that had already been creeping up his spine exploded into a full-blown fear, so powerful it consumed him. Fear that he wouldn’t be able to make this right, fear that she would never trust him again.
“You think I wanted this? You think I had a choice that night? I did what was best for you.”
“How the hell would you know what’s best for me?” she yelled angrily.
“Your face showed everything—”
“I was hardly in my—”
“The unimaginable terror when you looked at me,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “The way you recoiled, as if I was the one there to kill you. That one look, Kat, it killed me. The way you didn’t make a sound, didn’t feel safe until you were in his arms.” Stephen couldn’t bring himself to say his name. “You needed him, trusted him implicitly, something you’ve never given me.”
“I needed—”
“Him! Admit it, Kat!” His voice was thundering, and he knew he had to reign himself in, but couldn’t figure out how, not when faced with losing her for good. “You needed him, your fucking hero, not a reminder of the torture you’d just endured!”
He watched the color drain from her face, watched as the truth of his words struck her. And it killed him, her unspoken admission, even though he’d known all this time it was true. That fucking bond between her and Ethan, the strong connection he’d just learned about only hours before she’d been kidnapped. Christ, it drove him out of his mind. Had him wondering whether he’d ever have all of her. If she’d ever be entirely his.
“I couldn’t face you,” Stephen admitted, quieter this time. “I couldn’t bear to look at you and see you cringe away from me again. So yeah, I needed time to get my shit together. Days turned to weeks and then you were gone. Still, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t ready to go after you, couldn’t yet control the anger that was searing through every part of me, and like a viscous circle, I knew what killed me the most was losing you. That and the unbearable truth that you needed him.”