Chapter Twenty-One
Ethan’s truck was in her driveway when they pulled up, her good mood replaced with nervousness. Stephen must have sensed the sudden change, but didn’t acknowledge it. At least, not outwardly.
“Stay,” he said, getting out of the car. She watched him round the hood, drinking him in, her body all but vibrating in her seat. Jesus, she wanted him. With every fiber of her being. Despite the hell they were all going through, dinner had been…incredible. They’d kept things light and every time she’d glanced over the table at him, she couldn’t stop imagining the rest of their lives, being together, so many more dates to look forward to…
He opened her door, holding out his hand for her. And when she slipped her hand into his much larger one and looked up at him, she was suddenly overcome with too many emotions to count. Again, Stephen seemed to sense the change. He raised her hand to his mouth, kissing her, his eyes never leaving hers.
“Forever, Kat. I want forever with you.”
Her heart thumped. Wildly.
And then he smiled, gently pulling her toward her front door. Where Ethan waited. She tried to pull free, but Stephen held onto her too tightly. And when she went to push in her code, he grabbed her other hand, trapping her between his body and the door.
“You’re forgetting something,” he growled in her ear, his breath moving the hair on her face.
Striving to get the lightness of the night back, she turned in his arms. “I don’t put on the first date!”
“No? Just before the first date?” he laughed. “Then I take it back. It wasn’t a date.”
“You can’t take back a date!” she laughed, even though disappointment rolled through her. Because she knew exactly how tonight would have ended if Ethan’s truck hadn’t been in her driveway. Desperately, she tried to rein in the yearning that spiraled through her body. And she wondered if he heard the frustration in her voice when she said, “You’re can’t come in. Ethan’s home.”
She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. They’d hit their mark, even though she hadn’t intended them that way. Stephen’s anger was instant, wiping away the flash of pain before he’d covered it, their beautiful evening evaporating. He leaned closer, his body against hers. “Home?” he growled. “You living together now?”
He’d probably tried to cover the jealousy and anger that infused his every word, but he didn’t quite manage it. All Kat’s defenses screamed an alert, the dangerous glint in his eyes all the warning she needed, but she didn’t move fast enough. Not that she had an escape. Before she could take a breath, Stephen lifted her, pressing her back to the door, closing in quick until she felt his erection straining against her, causing her to suck in her breath. Heat, pure and instant, slammed through her, a whimper she couldn’t contain escaping through her lips a second before Stephen’s mouth came down on hers, his tongue forcing her lips apart.
Memories swamped her, adding fuel to the fire that raged within her as Stephen devoured her, his kiss ravenous, bordering on desperate. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, plunging her fingers into his silky black hair, her desperate whimpers taking on a lower tone as he slid his erection against her. Her skirt had ridden up and Stephen shoved it up further so it settled around her waist, the thin silk of her panties providing no barrier, getting wetter by the moment, soaking his pants, she was sure.
Just as she was about to beg, knowing one more stroke would bring her over the edge, the door at her back whipped open, leaving nothing but air before she felt herself fall against Ethan’s chest. And in that split second before Stephen regained his balance and pulled her back into him, she felt the shock of Ethan’s warm hands on the bare skin of her hips, his grip tightening for a moment, as if debating whether or not to forcibly rip her from Stephen’s arms. Humiliation warred with a desperate need for release as she sucked in huge gulps of air, subtly pushing at Stephen so he’d let her go.
He ignored her.
“You fucking mind?” Stephen hissed at Ethan.
“Not at all.”
Kat heard the amusement in Ethan’s tone, but didn’t miss the underlying anger. Time seemed to freeze as the two men glared at each other. Kat unwrapped her legs from Stephen’s waist, pushing against his chest, knowing Ethan probably had an excellent view of her lace covered ass. Stephen finally conceded, setting her on her feet, the silky material of her skirt falling over her hips. It was only when he lifted her face to his that she realized he still had his hands in her hair. He bent down, giving her lips a soft kiss before whispering in her ear. “You’re mine, Kat. Don’t think I’ll ever let you forget that.”
***
“No fucking way are you Stephen’s!”
Kat swung around to face him, her green eyes flashing fire so hot it was a wonder he didn’t burst into flames. She shoved against his chest when he pulled her across the threshold and slammed the door behind her, caging her between himself and the door.
“That’s not your decision to make, Ethan!”
It took him a second to realize he’d said the words aloud. Took another second for her words to sink in, slicing him to the core. She was still yelling, pushing against his chest for escape. His head was reeling with the sight of her wrapped in another man’s arms. Stephen’s arms.
“And the two of you need to stop fricking tag teaming me!”
The sting was instantaneous. Jesus. Could she cut him any deeper? He’d known she’d been with Stephen. Had known for weeks. But knowing and seeing were apparently two totally different things, because what he’d felt when he found out was nothing compared to how he felt now.
“You knew he was there!” she hissed, still shoving against his chest. “Were you watching us through the damn cameras?”
“Had I been watching, I would have opened the door long before he was nearly fucking you against it!” Ah, hell. He shouldn’t have said that. Faster than he would have thought possible, Kat’s hand came up. A slap he would have deserved, but one he wouldn’t let her deliver. Catching her hand in his, he spun her around until her back was flush against his chest, holding both of hers around her waist, pinning her against him, all the while ignoring the warning bells going off in his head. The ones that were shouting at him not to do this tonight. Not when anger and jealousy were roiling through him. Not when Kat was still wrapped in a haze of desire for another man, a desire he’d seriously underestimated. But fuck if he’d live with those damn images in his head all fucking night long. He couldn’t lose her. Wouldn’t lose her. No way in hell.
And that, more than anything, forced him to calm down, shove every emotion away except for the love he felt for her. He brought his free hand up, cupping her cheek, slowly turning her face toward his, praying he could salvage the huge clusterfuck he’d just created. “I’m sorry.”
She wouldn’t look at him. Her breathing was coming in shallow pants, her scent wrapping around him, swirling in his head. So close yet so far away. “Too late, Ethan.”
Softly whispered words resounding with unbearable sadness. His entire body was instantly on alert, denial roaring through his head, his own mind hearing her say it was too late for them. The anger he’d just controlled resurfaced as fear, a fear so painfully deep, he swore his heart stopped beating. “Too late for what exactly?” He matched her tone, whispering the words close to her ear, his cheek pressed against hers. “Too late for us?”
“There is no us.”
But the shiver running throughout her entire body, the sudden pounding of her heartbeat beneath his hand proved otherwise. Her quick intake of breath let him know she wasn’t immune to him. How he’d ached to hold her like this. When she relaxed against him, melting into his arms, victory slammed into him hard and fast, closely followed by relief. He loosened his hold, whispered her name on a long, relieved exhale…
Too late, he realized his mistake.
Kat wrenched herself free, whipping around to face him only when she was a safe distance away. She opened her mouth, but snapped it shut before any words were spoken, the look in her eyes one of stunned disbelief mixed with anger before her gaze darted past him toward the stairs. Wishing for an escape, he knew. But she’d have to come within touching distance of him. He waited her out for a few beats, but she remained still. Or at least as still as her rapidly beating heart would allow. She glared at him across the dim light, but he could see the desire beneath, knew that her rapid breaths were not just from nervousness, but from something much stronger.
“Let me go.”
A desperate plea, exploding like a cannon in his head. He understood what she was asking of him, the deeper meaning behind her words. And he almost relented, almost stepped aside, moving from the entrance to the stairs. “I—” Can’t. Won’t. She was his life. “Is that really what you want, Kat? You want me to step aside?”
So she could be with another man? He took a few steps closer, so carefully and slowly when what he really wanted to do was scoop her up, devour that sweet, sweet mouth of hers that he’d only gotten to taste once. Twice, he amended, not that it made a fucking difference. He wanted a lifetime. Bad timing or not, perhaps it was time she knew that. “Because I’ve gotta say, sweetheart, I can’t do that. I can’t walk away from you. You are my life. My very reason for breathing.”
He’d shocked her. Kat gaped at him as he continued to slowly close the distance between them, fear that she’d run escalating with every painfully slow step. “I’ve waited for so long, dying to touch you, to feel you.”
Her eyes were still glued to his, seemingly unaware that he was within touching distance. Nearly there. “Breathe in the scent of you as I wrap my arms around your body, glory in the taste of your mouth, the feel of your bare skin under my hands, the heat of your body as slide into you.”
She whispered another desperate plea. A plea for him to stop, but he heard no demand behind it, no force that would have had him heeding the word. He held her beautiful green eyes, glowing in the dimness of the foyer as her body trembled, praying she was trembling with need, with desire. Finally close enough, he reached for her ever so slowly, determined not to break the spell she seemed to be under. Brushing his fingers down her arms, he reveled when she trembled. “Not this time.”
He entwined his fingers with hers, wrapping his other hand around the back of her head, bending down until his cheek brushed hers like it had just a few minutes ago. Whispering his next words directly in her ear so she had no choice but to hear them. “I am completely head over heels in love with you, Kat. Have been for so incredibly long. Nearly the moment I ever laid eyes on you.”
He kissed his way to her mouth, to those soft lips that haunted his dreams every night. “You are my life,” he repeated, pressing his mouth against hers again, so softly, when he wanted to plunge and devour, taking all his control not to do exactly that. Instead, he lifted his mouth, just slightly, before repeating the action, holding back his roar of victory when she finally, finally, rose up on her own to press her mouth against his, so tentative and sweet it nearly made him weep with the sheer joy of it.
Control.
Maintain control.
He repeated those words like a mantra when Kat did it again, the soft press of her lips against his leaving him reeling with desire, fighting against the urge to take over, knowing deep down it would be a huge mistake.
And he couldn’t help but congratulate himself when she moaned softly, ran her tongue across his lips in a silent request he would never, ever deny her. He opened his mouth to hers, reeling when her tongue slid against his, unable to control the jolt that went through him when she untangled her hand from his, placing both her hands on him, sliding them around his waist, leaving his hand that wasn’t wrapped at the back of head free. He started at her waist, his touch whisper soft, slowly making his way up.
Torture.
A sweet torture, but torture nonetheless. Because every soft moan had him fighting the urge to pull her against him, let her feel how much he wanted her, too terrified that any sudden movement would have her running. But Jesus, he was losing the battle against the need for more, the need to make her his.
Kat jumped when his hand brushed the underside of her breast. Ethan froze, barely breathing as he continued to kiss her, slowly urging her tongue back to his, his heart pounding, fear that she’d bolt. Then overwhelmed when she moaned again and turned slightly, purposely moving so he cupped her entire breast in the palm of his hand.
Fuck, he was torn. Torn between savoring every second of having a willing Kat in his arms and the urgency that kept telling him he was nearly out of time, only days away of losing her. If he hadn’t already.
No.
That she was kissing him, even now moving her hands up his back then around to his chest, said otherwise. Her soft whimper exploded through him, his body shaking with need as she rose on her tiptoes, struggling to get closer, increasing the urgency of their kiss as she fisted his shirt in her hands.
“Kat.” He put every emotion he felt into that one word. Love, longing, desire. A need so all-consuming his voice all but vibrated with it. He pulled her closer, unable to contain his tortured moan when his erection crushed against her stomach.
Wrong move.
Fuck!
Kat gasped, pushing against his chest with those same hands that had been pulling him closer only seconds ago. Her gaze flew to his, her eyes wide, obviously broken from her trance.
“What did you think would to happen?” he laughed softly, trying to salvage the moment even as his gut clenched with fear. “I’ve been dreaming of you for so long, sweetheart.”
Not the right words. Because even though desire still burned in her eyes, mortification was a close second. And it killed him, closely followed by anger and jealousy, his emotions ending the same exact way he’d started.
“What do you want from me, Ethan?”
“Everything, Kat,” he answered. “I want everything from you. I want you to be mine. Always. I want to spend our entire lives together. I want you to be my wife, the mother of our children.”
Tears filled her eyes. His heart clenched, not knowing whether they were tears of joy or regret. He cupped her face in his hands, pressing his mouth to hers again, desperately needing her response. But if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, well, he didn’t think he could handle it. Which was the only reason he let his hand fall from the back of her head, yet kept his other on her waist.
He knew where this was going if he didn’t leave. Didn’t want to hear the accusations she’d hurtle at him. Didn’t want the pain she could inflict. Jesus, he’d never felt so vulnerable in his life. He couldn’t resist kissing her once more before he backed up, giving her the space she so obviously needed. “I love you, Kat. More than life itself.”