Chapter Twenty-Four
Lexa
His cock slid home and spread me with such intense heat, it was like a knife slicing through me — only the pain was pleasure and I wanted more. There was something different about him that night, something that could only be described as determination, like he couldn’t hold me close enough or kiss me hard enough, something that made me need to be a part of him as if I could bury down in his soul and live there.
I had been so scared that he’d learned something about me that I didn’t think things could be worse, but as his intensity grew, as he became more fevered, more determined, I couldn’t help but fear that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Maybe even more, if that were even possible.
The idea of me falling in love with him had been scary because no one wants a broken heart. But I’d already accepted the fact that I deserved it. With all my lies, I’d take my lumps and move on somehow when he was done with me. How could it be that he’d fall for me? Had he?
His eyes were softer tonight, and though we’d had amazing sex many other times, this was different, as if each move was designed to draw me closer and make me fall for him. As if he were desperate to keep me.
His arm closed around my waist as he brought himself forward and captured my mouth with a slow, languid kiss. I melted against him, cupping his face and stroking his beard as I rode him gently.
We barely moved, and yet it was all we needed. The pleasure was so intense that I could feel my release building as my walls swelled around his cock.
His hand brushed my hair back, and his eyes searched across my body as if looking for my soul. It was so subtle, the entire act as if we were making love.
Fear washed over me making me uneasy. When I trembled, he pulled me closer, and as if I weighed absolutely nothing, he stood, my legs wrapped around him to keep me from falling, but I wasn’t going anywhere. His cock was keeping me in place.
He stepped over the pile of clothes at his feet and walked upstairs to his room. He took a moment to pull back his covers before placing me on the bed. His cock pulled free, leaving me wanting more. “If you’re cold, we can get under the covers.”
“I’m okay, but this is nice.” I wanted to reach for him, to claw him back toward me and guide his cock back home, but he wasn’t in any hurry.
His eyes locked on mine as his thumbs slipped into the elastic of my panties, which he’d left in place, despite his cock slipping in around them. But now he tugged them down to my knees and planted a soft kiss on my mound. A shudder went through me as he climbed on the bed, easing himself down between my legs and pulling the covers up over his shoulders.
“I’m not cold anymore. I need you back inside me.” I rubbed my legs against him, trying to urge him up, but he slipped two fingers between my lips and dipped them into my soaking entrance. He kept them right on my spot as he worked his mouth against my clit. My body trembled as my first orgasm tumbled forth while I bucked against him. A cry of pleasure bubbled from my throat.
“That’s right, come for me.” He watched me quake beneath him as he continued his ministrations with a wild look in his eyes. Then he kissed his way up and aimed his cock before easing it into my pulsing, aching, dripping walls.
“Fuck, you’re soaked, Lexa. You’re going to milk my cock so fucking good with those quakes.” He ground his hips against me, his head diving to the depths of my channel, grazing my most tender spot along the way.
He was being so tender with me, but I needed him raw. I needed him to take me hard and relentless. I didn’t deserve this slow and tender care. The soft touches that reached right to my heart, they were murdering me inside. The guilt of my lies was making every sweet gesture painful.
“Fuck me harder, Aiden.” I grabbed hold of his ass and thrust my hips against him hard; he responded by giving me what I asked for.
“Greedy girl.” He rolled us over, and I straddled his hips. “Take all you want.”
I rode him fast, grinding myself against him now and then, but never slowing down. He watched me with a grin on his face, cupping my breasts and tweaking my nipples until a delicious wave of pleasure ached. The word greedy had done more to bruise my spirit, but I needed him to know this was all I would take from him.
But did I deserve it?
I collapsed against him, and he scooped me up and brought me to the edge of the bed where he held me face down, his hand planted firmly against my back, as he rubbed his cock between my ass cheeks.
“You can’t run out of energy now, baby girl. I’m only getting started.” The feel of his cock as it brushed against my clit made me ache, and then he slipped it back into my channel, thrusting forward with such force our bodies clapped together. He reached for my hands and pulled my arms back, holding them for leverage as he fucked me just how I’d asked.
I needed to be taken. I needed the ease of lovemaking to end and for him to give me just what I deserved. He gripped both my wrists with one hand and the other pushed against my star, rubbing the place as I cried out. I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t want that part of me, too, but a second later, he slapped my ass so hard, another release throbbed through me.
“My girl likes that, don’t you?” I cried out when his hand came down again, this time a little harder.
“Yes.” His spanking was softer the next time, and he rubbed the tender spot for me.
“Your little ass is so pink.” He pulled away and kissed the tender spot, urging me over. I covered my face, hoping he wouldn’t see the guilt that was no doubt written there as if carved into stone.
He parted my knees and centered himself, but then stopped suddenly. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, please.” I tugged his hips forward with my feet.
“Did I hurt you? Tell me if I did.” His finger lifted my chin, and his eyes met mine. “It’s not my intention, Lexa. If I’m ever getting too carried away, you tell me.” He meant every word. His eyes had filled with more care than I deserved.
“No, it’s amazing.” I gave him a lazy smile and then nudged him again with my heels.
“You’re amazing, Lexa.” He brought his lips to mine and gave them a peck. “We make a hot team, you and me. Don’t you think?”
“Yes. I’m just… I don’t know.”
“I’m freaking you out, aren’t I? I mean, I do want more, but I want you to want it, too. So much I’m determined to get what I want or fight my hardest.” His expression was sincere, and his brows rose like he was offering me a challenge. He had no idea. And when he learned the truth, his rejection would only be magnified by his kindness now.
I couldn’t find the words to tell him and the last thing I wanted was to end the pleasure for a heavy discussion, so I urged him back inside of me and hissed out in pleasure as his cock pressed its way back into my already tender channel. There was always a readjusting to him, but it was getting easier each time we fucked. We were getting too comfortable, too deep, and I was in over my head.
I gave in to the pleasure, but I couldn’t stop the nagging at the back of my mind. It was like a movie playing out to the end, when he learned of my lies and who I was.
It didn’t stop my orgasms, though, which he coaxed forth with precision like a master in control. His orgasm came with a growl, and it was so sexy a sound that I found room for one more of my own before we collapsed in a puddle of our making, spent and fed.
I expected him to pull me away to the shower, but instead, he curled against me, cradling me in his arms and pulled the covers up around my shoulders after he planted a soft kiss there. “Stay the night.” The words hung in the air a moment as I kept hearing them echo in my mind.
I contemplated how I could get out of it and if I wanted to get out of it. But I didn’t. I selfishly didn’t want the time to end. He’d know my secret soon enough, and this would be all over. I yawned and snuggled closer, pressing my ass against him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Unless you have to be at work early or something?”
“No, I have the day off.” I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d been sent home or why. No need to explain that head fuck to him. I owed him much more. I lay there thinking of ways to tell him my secret and came up short when I’d consider his reaction. There was no redeeming from this.
As I lay there, going back and forth on how nice it was to be in his arms and to hear his steady breathing and feel it against my neck, his phone beeped. He pulled away from me, letting a chill slide down my back. I turned over to snuggle against his side and feel the tight bulge of his pecs as he checked it to see what the notification was about.
He frowned and tossed the phone on the table so hard I wondered if something broke. “There’s nothing I hate more than a bunch of greedy leeches. Well, maybe a liar. I hate liars, too, but this family… God, I’d like to get through one fucking day without having to worry about this stupid lawsuit.”
He turned and faced me as I lay there frozen and brushed my messy hair from my face. “You’re the only thing that makes this shit better. Thanks for staying with me.” He closed his eyes and buried his face against me as I lay there dying inside.
Something on the phone must have reminded him of what was going on in life. Perhaps he had seen a text from his lawyer, there was no way to know, but I knew one thing: I’d rather be someone else. I’d rather be Lexa Lively than Alexandra Patterson, so I could be the person he needed me to be for him. The one to make it all go away and stay away, even after it was settled. I hated that as good as I was making things for him, I was going to make them terrible to the same degree.
Eventually, I was going to hurt him or anger him, and he would hate me. I hate liars. Who didn’t? I hated myself.
I was a liar. And what scared me most was that I wasn’t lying about how I felt. The feelings I had for him were all too real and intense, but it wouldn’t matter. In the end, he wasn’t in love with me. He didn’t even know who I was, so how could he be?
As I lay there drifting off to sleep, his words echoed in my head: I hate liars, I hate liars, I hate liars.