Chapter Forty
spent the night tossing and turning as I thought about what Jack and I had done in my new office. I wanted him more than ever, but I also knew that I was playing with fire. My job and my future were on the line if I continued down this path, and I couldn't afford to be another of Jack's discarded conquests.
However, there was something that struck me as different about him. He wasn't the self-centered jerk I'd thought him to be when he'd first returned to run Baby Steps. He'd done so much to ensure that I had what I needed to run the warehouse effectively and efficiently, and he'd made sure to build me an office that would make it easier for me to do my job in the future.
The way he touched me sent shivers down my spine.
I wanted to believe that there was the possibility of something more with Jack, but my common sense told me that to entertain that idea was to dance a little too close to the fire. Besides, I had a lot of things to deal with right now. Adding a romance with a man who seemed incapable of being romantic was more than I could handle. I needed to put this crush to rest and write it off as a brief moment of weakness.
But something nagged at me. What if I was wrong? What if there really was something between us? What if I wrote it off and missed out on something wonderful?
"Argh!" I cried as I flipped my pillow over and tried to find sleep. My mind raced as I sifted through my thoughts, and suddenly I remembered a moment with Molly.
She hadn't yet started drinking or taking drugs, and she'd been getting ready for a date with a boy she really liked. I sat watching as she applied her makeup and fixed her hair, and she'd told me all the secrets that high school girls seemed to magically know.
"You know, Leah," she said swiping mascara onto her impossibly long lashes. "If a boy really likes you, he'll make sure he takes care of all of your needs before he takes care of his own."
"Like giving you the last sip of soda?" I asked as I bounced up and down on her bed.
"Something like that," she smiled. "Just remember when you get older and you want to kiss boys, that they're good if they make sure you feel good first."
"Ew," I said, sticking my tongue out and scrunching up my face. "Why would I ever want to kiss a boy?"
"Someday, you might," she said as she dabbed lipstick on and pressed her lips together. "Just promise me you'll remember."
"I promise," I said as I watched her run a brush through her long, dark hair. She was the most beautiful girl I knew and I absorbed every one of her actions, trying to memorize them so that I could repeat them later.
Molly smiled as she stood up, straightened her shirt and smoothed her skirt. Then she patted me on the head before dropping her lipstick into her purse and tossing it over her shoulder. She headed down the hallway and out to the front porch.
"Where the hell are you going?" Mama yelled as Molly and I walked quickly past the family room where Mama sat smoking and watching television.
"Out," Molly called without stopping.
"Well, don't do anything illegal and, for God's sake, don't get knocked up, girl," Mama called after her.
"Understood," Molly said in a clipped voice before yanking open the front door and stepping out onto the porch. She swore under her breath, "Stupid bitch."
"You're not supposed to swear," I said quietly. "Honor your mother and father."
"Yeah, well, sometimes they don't deserve it," Molly replied. Her mouth was set in a tight line as she looked up and down the street to see if her date was on his way. She added, "Just don't say it to her face, and you'll be okay."
I nodded as I looked up at her in awe. Molly was the most beautiful girl I knew, and the only one who was strong enough to stand up to Mama. I watched a smile spread across her face as her date drove down the street in a bright yellow sports car with fins on the back end. He revved the engine, and Molly ran down the front walk. She hopped into the front seat and waved goodbye to me as they took off down the street.
It was the last time I'd see her sober.
As I tossed and turned in bed, I wondered where Molly was right now. I thought about the fact that if I got a raise and sold the house, I could afford a small place for Riley and me, as well as maybe hiring a detective to try and track Molly down. Patrick had said he'd tried to find her, but I never quite believed that he'd done more than check local hospitals and morgues. I wanted someone to trace her steps and see if they could figure out where she'd gone, and if they couldn't bring her back. At least we'd know where she was.
I couldn't continue having sex with Jack if I was going to keep my job—that much was obvious. But as I recalled Molly's advice, I wondered if maybe she'd been right and that Jack Yates really did feel something more than just sexual attraction for me.
I fell asleep hearing Molly's words reverberating in my mind.
*
next morning, I woke up determined to give Jack a fair chance. It wasn't every day that someone like Jack came along and, after yesterday's events, maybe it was a good idea to just stay put. I steeled myself as I got ready for work, adding mascara and a little lipstick to the mix. I'd chosen a tight fitting pair of jeans and a shirt that emphasized my figure a little more than my normal work clothes. It made me feel a little vulnerable, but it also made me feel more feminine than I had in a long time.
"You're hopeless," I said to myself as I looked at my reflection. Then I shrugged and went down to breakfast. Jack wasn't at the table. I asked where he was, and Betty said he'd gone into the office early but had sent Jimmy back to pick me up.
I ruminated about my attraction to Jack on the drive in, and then pushed it all aside as I got to work organizing my new office and moving my things into it. The workmen had fixed the lock, and they assured me that I'd not get locked in the office again. I felt a little disappointed, but brushed it off as I sat down and took care of the day's orders.
Around 9:00, there was a knock on my door. I called out that it was open and was surprised to see Sloan on the other side.
"Good morning, Leah," she said as she confidently walked across the office and put her purse on my desk. "I thought I'd come down and see your new digs."
"Good morning, Ms. Morgan," I said, unsure of how to address her. I wanted to yell at her and tell her what a horrible person she was, but I knew that if I did that I'd risk ruining Jack’s plan. I certainly didn't want to give it away. "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to talk about the warehouse business with you," she said with a rather reptilian smile. She was dressed in a moss colored suit that was molded to her body like a second skin. She reminded me of a snake slithering through the grass.
"Oh? Did Jack send you down to talk about it?" I asked as innocently as I could. "He didn't mention anything about a meeting this morning."
"No, there wasn't one scheduled," she said slowly. "This is more of a personal discussion, so I didn't want to bother him with it."
"Personal? About the warehouse?" I said suddenly confused as to where this was headed.
"Well, it's less about the warehouse and more about Jack, really," she said in a tone that sounded saccharine. I raised my eyebrow and said nothing. She continued, "I'm not sure what you know about Jack and all of the things that have happened in his family, but I felt like it was my duty to give you a heads up."
"I see," I said watching her closely. There was something about the way she was setting this up that made me immediately suspicious.
"Jack's had a tough life, and he's had to fight for a lot of what he has," she said spinning her tale carefully. "His father was quite the disciplinarian and rather unforgiving when it came to the boys. As a result, I think Jack has a propensity for being a ladies’ man, but with the right woman I think he could really see himself settling down."
"And you're telling me this about my boss because . . . ?" I asked as my heart beat a little faster.
"I'm trying to save you some heartache," she said, trying to sound like a sympathetic girlfriend sharing an important secret. "Jack is already taken, and I didn't want you to get your heart broken."
"He's taken?" I repeated wondering where this was going.
"Mmm-hmm," she nodded. "We've been keeping things under wraps for a while as we tried to sort out all of the complexities surrounding working together, but Jack and I have been on and off since high school."
"You have?" I said, not doing a very good job of hiding the shock that I was feeling.
"I know. It's kind of surprising isn't it?" she said sympathetically. "He's always had a crush on me, and I've liked him. But it wasn't until he came back and started running the business that I realized I loved him."
I bit my lip to keep from smiling and looked down at the desk. She had no idea Jack and I had witnessed her conversation with Lincoln in the driveway, and to hear her spouting lies like these made me want to laugh in her face. I knew better than to give anything away, though, so I hid my emotions the best I could and pretended to believe her lies.
"That's not what I wanted to hear," I said quietly.
"I know, I know," she nodded. "He's so good at convincing you that you're important and attractive, but then when the curtain is pulled aside, you realize that there's nothing there."
"I'm glad you told me," I replied, finally looking up at her as I mustered a facial expression that conveyed hurt.
"I'm sorry, Leah," she said with her fake sympathy. "But I thought it was better coming from me than for you to find out on your own."
"Yes, I'm sure you did," I nodded solemnly, trying to hide the fact that I wanted nothing more than to expose her for the liar she was. "Well, thank you."
"You're welcome," she said as she grabbed her purse off my desk and headed for the door. Once there, she stopped and turned around to look at me and added, "Don't feel bad, Leah. He's a good man, but he's just not someone who can slum it very well."
The comment hit the intended mark, and I winced. Sloan smiled again and then turned and clicked down the hall in her stilettos. I sat at my desk trying to recover from the low blow. Once the sting had subsided, I knew I had to do something to make sure that Riley and I weren't going to be at the mercy of a group of people who were clearly dysfunctional.
I shut the door and spent the rest of the day holed up in my office making calls, pointedly ignoring Jack.