Chapter Thirty-Two
Lexa
I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d held my face, the way he’d spoken to me.
He hated me. There was no going back from this. I had hoped that if I drove out to find him, he’d listen to me and let me explain my side of things. I hadn’t expected it to fix anything, but I also hadn’t expected to make it worse.
“You should have let him cool down, Lex. What the hell did you expect?” Bre was pacing her room and fighting mad. I even had to hold her back from going over to his house and kicking his ass. “Are you sure he didn’t get rougher than you told me?”
She was afraid that he’d hit me, but I assured her that my swollen eyes were from crying that past day away and not from anything he’d done to me. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, but the sobs still ran through me. “He didn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t do that.” Although, from the feral look in his eyes, I hadn’t been too sure as he held my face in his strong hands.
“Are you going to get in trouble for calling in?” I’d told Bre before how difficult it is to call in, being a nurse. It never looks good, but at least I had Kathy to cover my shift and she appreciated the extra money. I owed her one.
“I don’t know if I’m going back tomorrow, either. I can’t focus, and Rob’s been on my ass enough lately as it is. He’s already had to send me home once. I’m afraid that the next time, he’ll suspend me or let me go.”
She joined me on the sofa and took my hand. “You can’t let this affect your work. It’s not worth it. Aiden is going to move on with his life. Eventually, you both will, but you have to look out for you.” I knew she had a point, but the pain was so bad I could barely think about anything else.
“This isn’t like you. You’re not the type of person who gets down over a man.” She shook her head like she didn’t know what to do with me.
“I’ve never done something so stupid to make someone hate me before. And I’ve never loved anyone like I love him.”
She had a point. I had to pull it together. I was a strong, independent woman and I’d get through this. I wiped my raw eyes one last time and took a deep breath. I had to stop the waterworks and buck up.
There was no way Aiden was laying around miserable. Sure, he’d pulled a drunk and brought home enough beer to pull another, but he was going to pay my parents their money and move on. He’d start his own office like he said and then he’d be all set. He’d probably meet some gorgeous paralegal and move her into Olde House. They’d raise a big family, grow old, and sip tea on his back porch, staring off into the oaks until they died happily ever after.
“Have you talked to your parents at all?” She cringed before I even answered, and I had a feeling she was picturing that discussion.
“I’m going over later. I’d ask you to come hold my hand, but since you bit Mother’s off once already, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” We shared a half-hearted laugh.
“Yeah, that might be for the best. But if you really need me, I’ll come anyway. Let me know. I’ll throw on a muzzle and come running.”
“I have to do this myself.” I took another deep, cleansing breath and stood. “I think I’ll head on over and get it done with. Maybe if I’m lucky they’ll disinherit me and I won’t have to die with the guilt of living off Walker money.”
“It will be okay.” She stood and gave me a hug and walked me to my car.
After a short goodbye, and before I started boohooing again, I headed off to my parents’ house. I needed to explain things before they thought the worst of Aiden and me. Too late.
“Come in, Lexa.” Dad held the door open, and for the first time in my life, I felt like a stranger in my home. My mom stood in the doorway to the kitchen and didn’t come in to greet me until we had sat down.
She lowered herself beside me on the opposite end of the sofa. “Alexandra.” She had never like shortening my name. She said it cheapened it, which was hard to hear at age ten when everyone else, including my father, had been doing it for years. “I think it’s best we get to the heart of the matter. It’s obvious you know Aiden Walker, but I’d like to know the exact nature of your friendship.”
So that was it — right to the point. No how are you doing or I’m sorry you’re upset.
“I met Aiden at the hospital. He’d been in an accident, and I found out who he was. I felt bad for him because I knew what you were doing and it seemed like he was down on his luck. So, I gave him a ride home. I never told him who I was. I gave him a fake name, and since we hit it off, I’ve been seeing him ever since.”
My mother’s shoulders dropped like I had just taken the wind from her sails. “So, you’re saying this had nothing to do with the lawsuit?” She glanced at my father, who gave me a sidelong look.
“You’ve been dating him?” My father looked away as he leaned back in his chair across from me.
“I know it’s crazy. It’s the stupidest and most selfish thing I’ve ever done, I know that, but he’s a great guy. He’s treated me with nothing but respect and friendship, and he’s been there for me when no one else has, in a way that no one else has.” I looked to them both but only got blank stares in return as if the words were still sinking in.
“I’ve felt so alone since Shawn died. You two have had each other, you’ve leaned on each other. With Aiden, I finally had someone who understood what I was going through, even though I never told him about Shawn. I saw his grief firsthand, and as I saw the lawsuit was ripping open old wounds, I was healing them. He told me so. And, he was my bandage, as well.”
“So, he never put you up to trying to get us to withdraw the suit; that was all you?” I wanted to ask Dad if he’d been paying attention.
“He never knew who I was. He never knew you were my parents or that I even knew you.” I felt like I needed a Bible to swear upon.
“So you have feelings for him, then, romantic feelings?” My mother fidgeted with her collar.
“I’m in love with him.” Tears pooled in my eyes, but I inhaled sharply as if that would hold them off. “Not that it matters. Because he thinks you put me up to it. He won’t listen to me, even though I’ve tried talking to him. He made me promise to stay away from him. He never wants to see me again.”
“Then he’s a fool. If he really loves you, he’d try to understand.” Mother’s words surprised me with their sincerity.
“You’re better off. Better to mend your broken heart and move on than to stay mixed up with him.” My dad wasn’t helping, and my mother gave him a hard glare.
“She’s the one who lied, dear. You can hardly blame the man for not trusting her again. And with us so eager to sue, he probably thinks she’s a gold digger.” The words insulted my father, and he stood to his feet and doubled his fist.
“No daughter of mine had to depend on him and his money. I’ll take care of my own.” I say back in my seat thinking I’d made it all worse again, and as if on cue, my father stalked out of the room.
“You really messed things up.”
I turned my head and stared at my mother with a slack-jawed expression. “Thanks, Mother, as if I didn’t know that.”
She held her hands up in defense. “I only mean that you’ll have to fix this. I’ll deal with your father. He’s never going to accept that you’re a grown woman who doesn’t need him anymore. But now, to have some man out there thinking that his little girl is a bad person, well, that’s not going to sit well.”
“But I am a bad person, Mom. I did a bad thing. I conned him. Who could blame him for thinking worse of me?” I didn’t think there was a way I’d ever get Aiden to understand. “I just wish this stupid lawsuit had never happened. Then I could have been honest from the start, and there would have been nothing between us.”
“I still think we were within our rights, darling. And for what it’s worth, I think the judgment was fair. As much as I wanted to make them responsible, I never wanted to hurt anyone. It wasn’t about the amount — it was the principle.”
“If that’s true then you could have settled.”
“I guess I wanted to make them sweat.” Mother lifted her shoulder and was unapologetic. “But I understand now why you were so against it. I only wish you’d explained everything from the start.”
“He wouldn’t have kept seeing me. At first, I didn’t tell him because I didn’t think it mattered. Then, as I got to know him, I knew he’d stop talking to me. But once I fell in love, I did it out of pure survival. I knew it was on the road to ruin, but I had to hold onto him as long as I could.” I’d been so desperate to hold on, I’d damned all the consequences.
“So, what are you going to do about it? You have to move on and hope that love will find a way. If you believe he loves you, then it will.” She had always been practical, but I knew that would never happen.
“I know he did, but not anymore. There’s no way back from this. He’s always going to see me related to the lawsuit. I’d be an ugly reminder of the second worst time in his life.”
“Sounds to me like it wasn’t so bad.” My mother’s sly smile brought one to my face with a burst of blush. “You’ve been seeing him all this time, dear, do you think I don’t know how serious it must have been?”
I thought of all the times I’d been with Aiden intimately and knew I couldn’t discuss that with my mother. “Yeah, well, it was pretty amazing and deep, but he doesn’t think any of it was real, so. . .”
“Give it time; I have a feeling he’s not done with you yet.” She patted my hand and then got up to find Dad.
I let those words stir in my mind. Not done with me yet? I imagined the warm feel of his touch, but then the memory changed and I remembered his hard, cold eyes burning through mine. There hadn’t been love in those eyes. Not a trace. They were tinged with nothing but cold, bitter hate.