Water spews from Shae’s mouth, all over the coffee table and floor.
“I’ll grab a towel.” I dash to the kitchen and return a moment later with paper towels.
Shae sits on the couch like a statue, watching me clean up the mess, probably wondering if she heard me right.
“You’ve heard of the Salamanca crime family?”
She nods, looking around the room, clearly avoiding my gaze, and then pushes up from the couch. “Yes, I’ve heard of them,” she mumbles, pacing across the floor.
For the life of me I can’t read her. She doesn’t look pissed, or upset. To be honest, she looks blank. “Say something.”
She nods. “How is your father connected to the Salamancas? Does he work for them, or is he—”
“He’s the head of the family.”
“Wow,” she breathes, pacing across the room. “You should’ve told me this sooner.”
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She’s right. I should have.
God, I can’t believe I managed to fuck this up so bad. I just hope I can fix it.
“This is huge, Rex,” she says, stopping in front of me. “Your father is a mafia boss.” Her eyes widen as she realizes what she just said. “Is my life in danger?”
“No, absolutely not,” I rush to assure her. “If I felt your life was in danger, I would’ve walked away without question. But that’s the thing. My brother and I, we have nothing to do with the Salamanca family or their business, which is why I didn’t think about it early on. Things were going good between us, and I’ve separated myself from that life, so I didn’t see a need to fuck it up by telling you. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
“But you did fuck it up. You should’ve told me sooner, Rex. What if something had happened to me?”
“I would never let anything happen to you. I wouldn’t put you in that spot.”
“But you did.” She clenches her fists at her side, grinding her jaw. “You put me in that spot when you started seeing me and chose not to tell me about your family. I was with you at Ambrosi’s when you spoke to your father. Did he know I was there?”
“Yes.”
The anger on her face is quickly replaced by fear. “Does he know who I am?”
I shake my head. “Shae, he doesn’t give a fuck what I do or who I do it with. He has no control over my life, and he knows it. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I can’t believe this.” Collapsing on the couch, Shae looks at me. “I can’t believe you kept this from me.”
“It’s not something I’m proud of.” I take a deep breath, because what I have to say isn’t easy, and I don’t want it to come out the wrong way. “Shae, my family is incredibly wealthy—”
“Drug money,” she spits out.
“My father may do some questionable things, but he doesn’t sell drugs. What I’m trying to say is that most women I meet already know who I am. They don’t want to get to know me. They usually only want one of two things: to be able to say they fucked an Ambrosi, or to get close to the money and the life. You’re the first woman I’ve spent time with who had no preconceived notions. As far as I know, you had absolutely no idea who I was when you met me. The amount of money in my bank account, my father, my last name—none of it impacted us, and I didn’t want to lose that.”
She nods, and for a half second I think maybe she understands. But then I remember she’s not like me, that she grew up in a different world than I did, and there’s no possible way she could understand.
“Shae—”
Throwing a hand up, she cuts me off. “Just give me a minute to process this, okay?”
Time stands still as I wait for her to tell me to leave, because that’s inevitably what’s going to happen. Why wouldn’t she?
When she blinks up at me, I prepare myself for the worst.
“You hurt me,” she says.
“I know I did, baby. I know, and if you can look past the last name, and who my father is, I promise you I’ll never hurt you again. I was a mess tonight, Shae. If you believe anything I’ve told you, believe that. The thought of hurting you nearly killed me, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Don’t you see? I don’t care who your father is or what your last name is, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell me. But when you broke up with me without an explanation, that’s what hurt me. I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me.”
What? No. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s me.” Unable to keep my hands off of her for another second, I pull Shae’s face to mine and kiss her stupid. She grabs at my shirt, clinging to me. Once the kiss is over, I rest my forehead against hers.
“I understand,” she whispers. “I know why you were hesitant to tell me. I get it.”
“Trust me, you don’t understand,” I whisper.
How could she? Unless you live this life, you’ll never fully understand it.
“Yes, I do,” she insists, pulling out of my arms.
Frustrated at her insistence, at the situation, at myself, I grab the bottle of water from the table, and drain half of it in one drink.
“You might think you do, but you don’t.”
Her eyes widen. “Don’t tell me what I understand and what I don’t understand. The Blacks may not have been part of an organized crime family, but they were rotten. So yes, I get why you wouldn’t want to let someone in on that part of your life.”
“The Blacks have nothing on my father.”
I regret the words as soon as they fall from my mouth. Shae gasps, pushing up from the couch, and I feel the pain in her gaze like a punch to the gut. I hate that I’m the one who put it there.
“I didn’t mean that. The way they treated you was shit, baby, and I wasn’t trying to minimalize that.”
Shae draws in a shaky breath but doesn’t respond.
Damn it.
None of this is going the way I had hoped, and all I’m doing is digging myself a deeper hole.
“Fuck,” I growl, rubbing my hands over my face. “I keep fucking up with you. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Shae studies me for several moments before putting me out of my misery. “It’s okay. You’re upset. This whole situation isn’t ideal. I get that.”
That’s an understatement. “Where do we go from here? This is my life, Shae. It’s the life I was born into. Sal Ambrosi is my father, and I can’t change that. I can’t change my past.”
Her eyes soften, the slightest chink her armor, and I’ll take it.
“But you can change your future,” she says. “You get to pick the sort of man you want to be. We’re not destined to be our parents, Rex, and if anyone understands that concept, it’s me.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know you are,” she whispers, grabbing my hand.
When her skin touches mine, a sense of warmth rushes over me. I squeeze her fingers tight, afraid of losing the feeling.
“I’m in this,” she says. “If you’re willing to play this out and see where it takes us, so am I.”
“Most people would think you’re crazy for wanting to be with someone like me.”
Shae takes a deep breath, and when she lets it out, her words nearly bring me to my knees.
“I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. I only care what I think.” She gives me a sexy little grin. “And I sorta care what you think. Plus, if you remember, I told you I might very well be batshit crazy. Besides, you and I aren’t so different.”
Shaking my head, I grab her wrist and bring her to my lap. With a knee pressed to either side of my hips, she straddles me, her hands resting on my chest.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m sure as shit not questioning it, and no way in hell am I letting you go.”
She drops her forehead to mine. “Promise.”
“Promise.”