I knew there was more to what Kelly was saying. There always was. And I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to come out and just say it. His river ran deep and, with it, I needed him to be my life support.

Holding my head above water, I took his face between my hands and kissed him.

He brushed his firm lips against mine. He was gentle, caring, treating me as if I was broken. And though it was a nice gesture, what I needed was to be reminded that I was alive. And there was only one way I knew for him to do that.

Physical pain.

Shoving my fingers through his thick mane, I fisted his hair. He cupped my ass cheeks and spun me around. Getting drunk on his taste, I swirled my tongue over his, knowing his touch did more for me than the glass of wine I’d tried to drown my sorrows in.

And it felt good to have him here. I knew that he would come home. Knew that this was where I needed to be. Because after my visit with Mom, I didn’t want to have to face the world. Coming back to Kelly’s was my only option. The only thing that ever seemed to make sense in my tangled mess of a life.

Kelly’s hand dove under the cotton bathrobe and traveled up my thigh. Circling my waist, my nipples perked as he let the tips of his fingers graze the valley between the swell of my ass before landing on my moist cleft.

I whimpered into his mouth, knowing only he had this effect on me—the ability to make everything seem like it would all work itself out. Because I shared only enough with him to settle the many questions I knew he would have.

But I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. That wasn’t my intention.

Untucking his shirt, I pushed my hands flat against his hot flesh. His muscles flexed into deep planes and valleys as I moved up his chest and over his collarbone.

My body screamed for him to take me away as my mind wailed with regrets of contacting Mom. Nothing was going my way. Everyone was conspiring against me and I was on the verge of losing it all.

My money.

My man.

Maybe even my life.

Pushing past the hem of his briefs, I wrapped my fingers around his pulsating rod. Kelly’s dick stiffened inside my palm as I pumped him hard. We breathed as one between aggressive flicks of our tongues.

Kelly had his own fears that were getting the best of him. There were secrets he wasn’t sharing. I could hear them each time he reminded me never to leave his side. My mind was on high alert. The warning, crystal clear. And I was thankful that he didn’t tell me straight up. Because I already knew—danger was approaching, coming for both of us.

“Shit. You’re so wet.”

I pulled his lips to mine, needing to surrender my thoughts in the process.

Mom left me feeling ashamed of who I was. What I did for a living. But how I chose to live my life wasn’t any of her concern. It was important for me to remember that. Especially since she hadn’t been a part of my adult life until today.

“See what you do to me?” I nibbled on his ear. “You make it impossible to think straight.”

Kelly chuckled as he worked to unbuckle himself.

I hadn’t put too much thought into what I did for a living before today. It was school, then the pursuit of landing an unfulfilling career before I found myself happy going out on dates with men Madam set me up with. And that was all it was—dates.

Until I met Kelly.

His pants fell to his ankles as he pushed his boxers down to his knees. Pulling my robe open, he lowered his head and wrapped his lips around the dark pigment of my tit. My back arched and my skin flamed hot.

When I saw the look of disappointment flash over Mom’s eyes as she called me out on being an escort, I felt like I had let her down. Not that I owed her a damn thing. But, in that moment, all the strength I held as a woman, vanished. Suddenly, I was a daughter seeking her mother’s approval. And knowing that I didn’t have it destroyed my confidence and crumbled my entire foundation like the suddenness of an earthquake.

Swiveling my hips over his hand, he worked his finger deep into my pussy.

It was Mom’s look that sparked my second-guessing. Seeding the clouds of depression. Igniting the thoughts of suicide. Kelly knew that was what was on my mind. He didn’t have to say it because he saw everything. Never had I had those thoughts, or the desire to end my life, before today. But after speaking with Mom, I’d never felt so alone.

Kelly’s tongue lapped at my peaked nipple, sending my body into a frenzy.

But the pain of her misunderstanding me was unbearable. The rejection of her not believing my story. Her refusal to even want to hear me out, to listen to how her brother could do those awful things to his niece, her daughter. It was enough to make me want to get back at Mom and take away what she needed most right now—me and my money.

Hanging on to Kelly’s broad shoulders, I flung my head back. His lips peppered down my neck as he continued to finger-fuck me. Tightening my pussy over his knuckle, I didn’t want him to take me for granted. I counted my blessings each time his lips caused my skin to prickle. He was all I needed. The simple reminder that life didn’t need to be as difficult as it sometimes seemed.

“God, you’re incredible.” His steamy breath swirled over my ear.

His cock twitched inside my hand and I stroked him faster.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I murmured, smiling as my lips brushed against his.

He saw past my title. Something Mom made clear she couldn’t do. Kelly made me feel whole. Like family. Again, something Mom couldn’t ever do. I trusted Kelly with my secrets. And, in return, he showered his love down upon me, understanding me more than Mom ever had. He was there for me. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. When we were together, I felt complete. Like I was worthy of being loved by a man as amazing as him. And not just because he purchased me. But because we were a good fit for each other.

“Tell me that you need me.” I pulled his hand away, reaching behind for his shaft.

“I fucking need you.” He growled.

Guiding his cockhead to my entrance, I wet his helmet between my slick pussy lips. Kelly rocked his hips forward, sliding home in one confident thrust. Stretching me, my mind eased.

“Fuck me,” I mewed.

Kelly’s incredible strength held me as he slid in and out of me while standing. His muscles popped and loosened with magnificent control. His hips rocked and I took his face between my hands, pressing my lips against his. Kissing me deeply, I feverishly worked to open his shirt so I could feel his muscles work on overdrive.

“Fuck me,” I said, this time with more force.

“Bella.” He breathed harder.

Fisting his hair, I demanded he fuck me harder. “I’ve been a bad girl, counselor.”

“That you have.” His pelvis slammed against mine, the lines on his face twisting over a sweaty brow. His body jolted as he penetrated me with his love.

I cried out as he set my body on fire. My nerves tingled with pleasure and I could only think about him and how much I needed him. But I wasn’t close to climaxing or reaching the heights I wanted.

And that was my growing problem. I needed it rougher. Harder. More pain than pleasure. Otherwise I wouldn’t get off.

“Punish me,” I growled, digging my nails into his back.

Kelly bent forward and changed up our angle as he slammed into me.

“That’s all you got?” I slapped him, craving more of his pounding.

A darkness swirled in his eyes as he kicked his legs out of his pants. Carrying me across the room, he drove my back against the wall. My head hit a corner of a picture frame, causing it to fall. The glass shattered near his feet but he kept going.

“Oh, shit,” I wailed.

Kelly drove his cock deeper, working in long fluid strokes. His assault was relentless. Digging his fingers deeper into my waist, he pinched my sweaty skin, teasing me with the pain I so desperately needed as he drove his cock deep inside me.

“Like that, my little slut?”

Whimpering against him, I challenged him to push the limits further. “You’re letting me off easy if this is all you got.”

His eyes narrowed as he bared his teeth.

I slapped him again, except this time he caught my wrist on its recoil. It was the same wrist I was imagining cutting when feeling sorry for myself for how shitty my life had turned out.

Holding my wrist in front of his face, he slowed his strokes, giving us a second to breathe. But I didn’t want to. I knew what he was seeing, what he was going to say. In the end he didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. The look he was giving me was the same one Alex had given me when touching on the same subject.

“Like you haven’t thought about ending your own life before?” I cocked a brow.

“You don’t need to do this,” he said, holding my wrist up.

My chest caved in as I turned away. My head wasn’t right. I knew it better than anyone. I was fucked up. Fucked up from my childhood. Fucked up for having to navigate this world without the guidance from a role model I could trust. And there was nothing he, nor I, could do about it now.

Then I turned back. “I’m not worthy.”

He tossed my wrist and pinched my nipple. “Don’t lie to yourself.”

I winced at the pain, hungry for more. “Then make me believe.”

He twisted his fingers harder. “I don’t need to tell you what you already know.”

And when he deepened the angle of his solid cock resting inside me, my eyelids hooded over. “It hurts, Kelly.” My voice cracked as my eyes swelled. “The moment you realize that you’re all alone in the world—”

Kelly fisted my hair and yanked my head back. “Dammit, Kendra! You’re not all alone. You have me. You will always have me.”

Dropping my feet to the floor, I pushed myself off of Kelly, suddenly going cold. He clamped on to my elbow, spinning me back around to face him. Before he made me cry, I dropped to my knees and threatened to wrap my lips around his thick girth.

Staring into each other’s eyes, I felt like the prostitute Mom said I was. And when I took him into my mouth, he proved that I was exactly that.

This was what I had become. Everything I had worked so hard for. Nothing to show as a result.

Bobbing my head over his shaft, his hot satin flesh instantly calmed me. If he wasn’t going to rough me up, then choking on his cock was second best.

“Your tight little mouth is all mine.” Kelly cupped the back of my skull and drove deep down my throat with power and force.

He could take me however he wanted.

The price tag around my neck stripped me of my freedom.

I gagged.

Choked.

And when my lungs burned to breathe, my thoughts drifted away into a twisted form of enlightenment as I began to fly, fly, away.