papa has come back home. It is incredible how quickly the time passed. When I kissed his cheeks and welcomed him back I felt a tremor of fear inside me.

Even now, as I stand outside his study, I am not ready to face him, but I will never be ready. Childishly, I wish I could turn back the clock even one day, but I cannot put off what has to be said. My hands shake as I take a deep breath to steel myself before I rap gently on his door.

‘Who is it?’ he asks.

‘Tasha.’

‘Come in.’

I let my hand drop to the door handle, turn it, and step into the room. My father is at his desk, his head bowed over some papers. He has his reading glasses on. He does not speak, just beckons me forwards with an open palm. I walk towards his desk, fear speeding through my body, and stand in front of him.

His dark, dead eyes peer over the rim of his glasses. ‘Sit.’

‘I prefer to stand, Papa.’ My voice shakes. My father is a very intimidating man and it will be easier to keep my nerve if I am standing. Papa slumps back in his leather chair, removes his glasses, and lays them on the table.

‘What do you want, Tasha?’ His voice is totally expressionless and his face stony. I immediately feel unease. Mama was right. He is ready for me. He has been waiting for me to do this and he knows exactly what I am going to say.

I feel frozen with fear now, but I cannot turn back. I spit out the words I have rehearsed so many times. In the bed, in front of the mirror, in front of Baba.

‘Papa, I’m sorry, but I cannot marry Oliver. I do not love him and I never will. I know that this is what you wanted, but this is my life and I deserve to choose who I marry.’

Papa smiles. It is a sly smile, and suddenly I know I should have listened to Baba. I should have persuaded Noah to run away with me. He would have done it for me, I know he would have. Instead, I have done exactly what Papa wanted, played right into his hands. How brilliantly he has played his game, and how silly I have been. Now he can execute his next move.

‘This is not something I am asking of you, Tasha Evanoff,’ he says gently.

Tears start running down my face. ‘Papa, please don’t ask me to do this. He is not the man you think he is. He has strange needs. He wants to do cruel things to me.’

‘I know about his needs.’ His voice is cold and hard. ‘But he will not trouble you with them. I will make him understand on your wedding night that there are whores for such things. My daughter is to be treated like a Princess or she will be an early widow.’

I stare at him open-mouthed. ‘Is that what you really want for me, Papa?’

The corners of his mouth turn downward. ‘Is it so bad what I want for you? To be respected by society?’ He shakes his head as if he can’t understand me. ‘When you marry Oliver you will become Lady Tasha. You will move into that splendid stately home and be the mistress of it. Your children will be Lords and Ladies. What does it matter if your husband visits a whore or two to satisfy his needs?’

‘Oh, Papa, please. Please. I don’t want to be Lady Tasha and I don’t care if my kids are not Lords and Ladies. I want them to be happy. I want them to have a normal father and mother who love each other and love them too. I just want a small life with a husband I love and children that are happy and healthy.

‘And I am telling you that you will marry Oliver Jarsdale. Do you understand?’ he yells suddenly, slamming his fists onto his desk.

My heart jumps in shock at his reaction.

I bite back the terror. ‘Well, I’m sorry, Papa. I mean no disrespect to you. I love you, but you cannot force me against my will. I’m not a child anymore. I don’t want to marry a man with such taste. It will disgust me to be with him.’

He stares at me and studies me as if I am a different species from him and he must decide what technique would work best on me. He stands and comes around the side of the desk. I resist the urge to flinch when he stops next to me. His body radiates a strong aura of something I find utterly repulsive.

‘Do you know that I was the first one to call you by the nickname solnyshko?’ he asks softly.

I shake my head, confused by his sudden change of demeanor.

He smiles. ‘So no one told you the story. Well, I called you that because I was at your birth and I saw your head—you were born with a full head of gold hair—appear out of that bitch’s cunt and, I swear, it looked like the sun coming out of the depths of night. So I called you little sun. My little sun. Until today you have been my perfect little sun. You can ruin it all in one stroke.’

‘I just—’

His powerful hands reach out suddenly and grip my shoulders. I am unable to stifle the scream of shock and fright. In an instant he pulls me forward until my face is only inches from his. I smell the coffee he drank on the plane, the cigar he smoked on the way home.

‘Think about the people you care for, little sun. They all depend on you to survive. This one selfless act could mean so much for their future … existence.’ He pauses and takes stock of the reaction I am unable to conceal. He reminds me of a snake, extending its tongue to sense the vulnerability of its prey.

I understand that he has left the most important words unsaid. ‘Papa, I can’t—’

‘If you defy me, Tasha, you will leave me no choice. Those you love the most will suffer the consequences.’

I gasp at the unveiled threat. ‘What are you saying?’

‘Who do you love most in this world, solnyshko?’

The loving nickname on his lips suddenly sounds grotesque. Baba, Mama … Surely, he couldn’t be referring to them. I shake my head in disbelief.

‘I’ll rub them out one by one.’

His words are like a dagger to my heart. I choke back my growing sense of helplessness. I have to free myself from his clutches. He could be bluffing. He must be. ‘I’m your daughter. How can you threaten me like this, Papa?’

‘I do what is necessary to get what I want.’

‘Only a monster could be so cruel,’ I cry tearfully.

‘What do you know, you silly girl? You’re nothing more than a spoilt brat.’

‘I’m not a spoilt brat.’

His eyes flash with annoyance. ‘No? You agreed to this alliance. And now after you have turned everybody’s life upside down you have changed your mind. You are an Evanoff and we keep our word. Nothing will stop this alliance. You should know I mean every word when I tell you no one you love is safe. No one. Unless you submit to my wish.’

I open my mouth and my father lifts his hand and waves me away as if I have already taken up too much of his time.

‘By the way, don’t imagine that I do not know about your visits to that bitch. Tell your grandmother if she throws the rope ladder for you again to go visit her, I’ll send her back to Russia with only the clothes on her back.’

My jaw drops with shock. Would Papa really do that to his own mother? Impossible. Yet, I feel chilled to the bone. My mother was right. How could I have been so oblivious to the fact that the man who provides everything for me and protects me day and night is completely heartless.

There is no point in even trying to talk to him. He loves no one. He can’t. He is unable to. He is like the spoon or the table.

Like that he feels nothing.