The nurse puts the tiny little body in my hands. I hold that tiny little life that I have created in my body and I am filled with a fierce love. Death and damnation to anyone who hurts a hair on his tiny head. As dictated by custom, Baba refused to let me talk about the name for the child. ‘It will bring the evil eye. Tell no one.’ Today is the first day I will be saying the name I have chosen for my son.

‘Oh, look how red you are, Sergei,’ I whisper. Not a day has gone by that I didn’t think, talk, or pray for my Sergei. He was ripped away from me too soon. Today I will do him the honor of naming my first born after him.

Sergei makes a tiny sound as if he recognizes his name.

The door bursts open and Noah rushes in. He stops after two steps into the room. He looks pale. His hair is mussed and his eyes are quite wild. ‘It’s all over. The baby is out. Are you all right?’ he asks urgently, his words running into each other.

‘I’m all right and it is all over,’ I say gently.

His face is a picture of guilt. ‘I missed it all.’

‘How’s your head?’ I ask, holding back the laughter.

‘It’s okay’ he replies sheepishly

I grin at him and pretend to snort. ‘Hrrmph … Big mafia hero. Hired killer. Faints at the first sight of blood.’

He stands at the doorway and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘They cut you. Nobody told me they were going to cut you. I never expected them to do that!’

My heart feels like it will burst with the love I feel for this man. ‘Come here, you big oaf, and meet your son,’ I say gruffly.

He comes forward eagerly.

‘Sit down,’ I say, and when he does I put Sergei into his large hands. It is a moment I will remember forever. Our baby fits into his cupped hands. Noah’s face softens as he looks at the magic we have created together.

‘He’s so small. Is this normal?’ he asks worriedly.

‘Excuse me. Try pushing him out of your cock then tell me he’s small,’ I retort.

He flushes a deep red.

Immediately my heart goes out to him. He is so Russian when it comes to pregnancies and babies. Utterly lost and baffled. ‘He is eight pounds and two ounces. That’s a good size,’ I tell him reassuringly.

Sergei moves his head and yawns a gummy, healthy yawn. Awwww, my son just yawned.

‘Did you see that? He yawned,’ Noah says excitedly.

We look at each other, both of us so deeply in love with the little person we have created we have become foolish with it.

He takes a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry I … er … fainted.’

I laugh. ‘Yes, how did that happen anyway?’

He shakes his head. ‘I don’t know. I can look at my own blood and the blood of other men, but I can’t fucking see you spill blood. It just made my head spin, and before I knew it I was gone.’

‘Oh, Noah.’

He comes forward and kisses me gently. ‘You were just amazing. I’m so proud of you. I just can’t believe I missed it all.’

‘Never mind, next time—’

He frowns. ‘Next time? You want to go through this again?’ he asks incredulously.

‘Of course. Sergei needs brothers and sisters. I don’t want him to be an only child like me.’

‘No,’ he says decisively. ‘I think you suffered enough. I don’t think we will have any more kids. We can adopt. There are so many kids that need a good home.’

‘No way. We’re having at least four kids, maybe five, and if you want we can adopt a couple too, but the next time I go into labor you can stay close to my head.’

‘We’ll have to talk about this,’ he says darkly.

There is a knock on the door and Baba comes in holding a covered bowl of food. She frowns. ‘Why is that baby not swaddled?’ she demands immediately. ‘First you break custom by going out and buying clothes and toys for the child before it is born, now you don’t want to swaddle the baby?’ she tuts with displeasure.

I giggle. ‘Mama didn’t swaddle me and I turned out okay, didn’t I?’

‘That remains to be seen,’ she says, pretending to be sour but beaming with joy.

‘Where’s Mama anyway?’ I ask.

‘She’s coming. She met the doctor and decided to have a word with him.’

At that moment my mother comes into the room.

‘Oh darling, well done.’ She rushes to Noah’s side and peers at the baby.

‘Oh, my goodness me. He’s so beautiful.’

‘Yes, he is the most beautiful boy in the whole world.’