16
TATUM
With every step I took I could feel the ache between my legs intensify. I was throbbing with a need to be filled and fucked, to have Castello buried so deep inside me that I would have no choice but to allow the pleasure to take control over my body.
I was no saint. I’ve always liked sex. But ever since I experienced it with Castello, tasted how deliciously sweet it could be when you let all your inhibitions go, it was like my mind and my body had grown addicted to it—to him.
Today was the second time he had denied me pleasure. It has been far too long since I came around his cock, and I needed it. I was starting to need it almost as much I needed air.
My entire body felt electrified, unsatisfied, and my mind was starting to spin out of control with images and fantasies of sordid deeds and twisted lusts.
“Here.” Castello stopped and nodded toward a door. It took me a moment to realize that the entire way here I had completely spaced out, my mind only thinking of one thing.
Castello placed his hand on the doorknob. “I know how much your art means to you, that it’s your way of dealing with certain things. I also know it hasn’t been easy for you, everything that’s happened. So I want to make sure that you have your own space—” he shrugged “—you know, when things get too much.”
I narrowed my eyes and watched with curiosity as he slowly opened the door. He gestured for me to walk in first, and when I saw what was inside, I sucked in a breath. “Castello.”
He walked in and stopped beside me as my gaze swept across the room. There were blank canvases on easels. An entire table stacked with brushes, paint, chalk, pencils, and every other thing any artist would ever need.
“This is your new studio. I’ve taken every measure to ensure you have everything you need here. But if there’s anything I might have missed, just tell me, and I will make sure you get it.”
Stunned, I looked up at him. “You did this for me?”
“It appears that I have.” He continued to stare out in front of him.
I took a moment to look at him, to study his face. Among all the supplies, all the things that would make any artist beam with joy, Castello was the masterpiece. He was a strong man. A man who could carry the world on his shoulders without ever showing any sign of burden. His intensity, and the power he exuded was something everyone around him could feel the second Castello entered a room. His presence demanded respect, even mine. No matter how big of a mind fuck he was to me, his authority over me was undeniable.
“Why? Why did you do this for me?” I kept my gaze on him, hoping to see some kind of emotion.
He placed his hands in his pants pockets. “Do I need a reason?”
“No. But I do.”
He glanced my way. “Why?”
“Because you never tell me anything.”
“I tell you a lot more than you need to know.”
“I’m not talking about your family, and how you do things. I’m talking about us, about what it is that’s really happening between us.”
He turned to face me directly. “And what do you think is happening between us?”
“That’s what I’d like you to tell me.”
“I already did.”
“What do you mean you already did?”
He pulled his hands through his hair, frustration evident in the way his jaw ticked.
“You see, Castello. You never tell me anything. The only thing you tell me without talking in riddles is how you will never let me go.”
“Is that not enough then?”
“No. No it’s not. I want to know why you’ll never let me go. I want to know why you are so goddamn afraid of me leaving. I want to know why you were so concerned when I fainted earlier.”
“Is it wrong of me to show concern when you’re ill?”
“No!” I spat out, my own frustration starting to get the better of me. “It’s not wrong for you to be concerned. It’s not wrong for you to not want to let me go, or to be afraid I’ll leave. I just want to know why.”
Our gazes locked, and the world around us turned to gray. My heart was racing, my mouth dry as the silence between us stretched into a moment that felt like a lifetime. And while we stared at each other Angelique’s words repeated inside my head. “Don’t try to understand him. Rather trust in him.” It was probably the best advice anyone could have given me when it came to this man. Castello was a beautiful enigma, a perfect paradox, yet no one was as perfectly imperfect like him.
Don’t try to understand him.
Tears started to prickle my eyes, threatening to escape. My heart felt too big for my chest, as if it would break through the bones at any second. The way he looked at me was almost as if he felt something. As if there was something more than just lust and selfishness inside him. But what? I needed to know what.
Don’t try to understand him.
I was first to break eye contact. The longer I stared into his eyes the more I wanted to see into his soul.
“Thank you…for this.” I glanced around the room, feeling grateful for what he had given me, yet I felt discontented with what he had not…I wanted him to say the words. I wanted to hear him say what I meant to him.
He held out his hand with a key in his palm. “There is only one key to this room, and it’s this one. No one else will be able to enter this room without your consent, not even me.”
I took the key and held it gently between my fingers as if it could break. “I don’t know what to say.”
Castello moved, and his big frame cast a shadow over me. “I’m a selfish man, Tatum. I never claimed to be otherwise. I will never be the kind of man who lives a selfless life—especially when it comes to you. My need to own you, to be the center of your world will always be greater than my need to be a better man.”
“Castello, you—”
“As I’ve said so many times before, I’m never letting you go, and this—” he held his hands out wide “—this room is yours, and yours alone. Hopefully it will give you the space, and the freedom to spread your wings while I keep your soul chained to mine.”
In fear that I might burst out in to tears, I gave a tiny step forward and pushed myself up on my toes, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Castello.”
I stared up into his eyes, and the words moved to the tip of my tongue. “Two pink lines. There were two pink lines.” I wanted to say it. I wanted to tell him that out of all this death that surrounded us we had somehow managed to create a life. There was a tiny being conceived from half of me, and half of him, growing inside me, and with all my heart I wanted to tell him. But I couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling of doubt that festered in the back of my head.
What if Castello doesn’t want a child?
What if he thinks I’m trying to trap him?
What if he throws me out, discarding me as broken and used?
There were a lot of ‘what if’s’ smashing against every corner of my mind. How could this pregnancy possibly be anything good when all of this started with such cruel intentions? I was kidnapped by the man whose baby was growing inside me. My father was murdered by the brother of the man whose baby now occupied my womb. And the man whose child I was carrying was also the man I committed the most sordid of sins while cloaked by the darkness. Surely there was no hope for any of this to turn out well…for any of us.
I moved back. “I appreciate this, very much.” And then it occurred to me. “What is it you want in return?”
He cocked a brow. “What makes you think I want anything in return?”
“You just said you were a selfish man. In other words, you did this because you want something in return.”
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a devilishly handsome grin. “Soon.”
“Soon, what?”
“Soon you will know what it is I want in return.”
“Why won’t you tell me now?”
He stared at me with a calculated gaze, and my nerves started to flutter in the center of my gut.
“Because you’re not ready, little mouse.”
“Ready for what?”
He smiled. “Soon.”
“Castello—”
“Are you tired?”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I asked, are you tired?”
“Why?”
It happened so fast. One second I was standing two feet away from him, and the next he had me pinned against the wall with my wrists bound painfully in his grip above my head.
“Just answer the goddamn question.”
I didn’t attempt to get lose from his grip. I’ve been a prisoner of his strength so many times I knew it was pointless to even try.
“No. I’m not tired.”
He moved his thigh between my legs, and pushed up, lifting me slightly off my feet. It was all it took to reignite the lust and need I had been walking around with all night.
He leaned his head down, and I could smell the sweetness of the champagne on his breath. “Do you trust me?”
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my needy body. “That’s a complicated question, Castello.”
Taking both my wrists in one hand, he let the other come down, tracing his fingers along the side of my face. “Well let me simplify the answer for you then. If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t have welcomed my touch so eagerly. If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t want me as much as you do right now.”
“Who says I want you?”
He let out a low laugh that rumbled in the back of his throat. “When will you learn, little mouse?”
“Learn what?”
His head cocked to the side. “That your body can’t lie to me. Your lust is seeping through the fabric of my pants. I can feel your heat, the way your pussy is throbbing right now.” He rubbed his nose along my cheek. “I can even smell the sweet scent of your desire…and it’s driving me insane with the need to fuck you.”
I couldn’t stop myself. I was too fucking needy, my body wound up way too tight, so I slowly started to rock my hips back and forth, rubbing myself against his thigh. It felt so fucking good I could already feel the first tremble of pleasure move up my spine.
Soft lips brushed against my ear. “That’s my needy little mouse.”
He allowed me to rock on his thigh for a moment more before pulling his leg away, causing me to moan with the ache of disappointment.
“Castello, are you trying to kill me?”
“On the contrary, I’m preparing you.”
“For what?”
A roguish grin crept up on his face. “The reward is so much sweeter after it has been denied for so long.”
“Please—”
“I have something special planned for you tonight, little mouse. For us. But first, I want to hear you say that you trust me. I want hear those words come from your lips.”
He let go of my arms and gave a step back. “Tell me that you trust me.”
I rubbed my aching wrists while never taking my eyes off him.
Don’t try to understand him. Rather trust in him.
With a flick of my tongue, I wet my lips, before softly saying, “I trust you, Castello.”