26
TATUM
His voice.
“Castello,” I whispered, my mind completely fogged. I tried to move past the haze. I tried to focus, but I couldn’t.
“Tatum.”
There. It was his voice again.
“Tatum. Wake up.”
“Castello.” My mind grew clearer and clearer, reality forcing its way back in. But the more I remembered, the more I wanted to forget.
“Tatum.”
I opened my eyes, and for a moment panic shot through my body like an electric current.
“It’s me, Tatum.” He grabbed my hand and placed it against his scar. “It’s me, Castello.”
All I saw was Carlo’s face. The face of the fucking devil that ripped my baby from my body. The demon that murdered my soul.
I moved my legs, and the cold, wet sheets made my whimper. I felt it immediately. The loss. The emptiness inside me. I could feel it was no longer there. The life. The baby. The two pink lines. Gone.
“Tatum?” The face next to me drew my attention. And even though I felt the scar beneath my palm, I saw Carlo.
I started to shake, screams escaping my throat like squeals straight from hell. I closed my eyes, thrashing violently on the bed. I was dead. My soul was dead. I was no longer a human being.
“Tatum, stop!”
I didn’t.
I couldn’t. The pain was too much. The pain I felt on the inside was too fucking much.
Two hands gripped my head tight. “Look at me.”
I tried to jerk my face free.
“Look at me, little mouse!”
And then I stilled.
Two words.
Two words that managed to reach through my soul, touching my heart. Little mouse.
I opened my eyes and stared at the face in front of me. And when I saw the elongated pupil, the only thing Carlo couldn’t fake…I cried. Tears streamed down my face, and my cheeks burned with every drop.
“Castello,” I sobbed, and he pulled me hard against his chest.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
He hugged me so tight I could hardly suck in a breath. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to breathe. It hurt too much. I wanted to go back in time and change everything that happened. I want to go back and have that life back inside me.
“Shhhh,” he cooed as I cried into his chest. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
I cried so hard. Grief and pain possessed me. “You left.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.”
And then anger. “You fucking left!” I slammed my fists into his chest, crying, screaming, “You fucking left! You left!” I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop hurting him. I wanted him to feel my pain, my hurt, and I kept on hitting him. All he did was sit there, allowing me to take out every ounce of rage I had in me. He let me hit him. He let me hurt him until I had no more strength left.
I sobbed, I wept like all hope in the world had been lost.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered as he pulled my face back to his chest. My body shook, my insides torn apart. I never knew something could hurt so much.
“Someone get me some warm water and a towel.” He brushed his fingers through my hair. “Tatum, I need you to do something for me.” He leaned back so that he could look at me. “I need you to close your eyes. And no matter what, do not open them. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded. Deep down I knew why.
“Good.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. “Now close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes, and he moved away. My heart pounded and my broken soul sobbed as I felt Castello move around the bed. I felt him pull the sheets from beneath me, and in my mind I imagined what the sheets had to look like. I wasn’t far along. Only a few weeks, so it couldn’t have been more than just blood and clots. Two pink lines.
Tears continued to move down my cheeks.
“I need you to open your legs for me, okay?”
I hesitated. Soft moans and whimpers escaping me.
Two pink lines.
“Please, Tatum. Let me take care of you.”
Slowly I opened my legs, and when I felt the wet towel I sucked in a breath. For the entire time Castello cleaned me, I bit down on my tongue, trying to choke back sobs. His touch was so gentle, so soft as he continued to clean my inner thighs, my legs, my behind. But the pain was still there, eating away at my insides, poisoning me, killing me.
“Don’t open your eyes. But I need you to lift your arms.”
I obeyed…like the good little pet that I was.
Castello slowly, gently pulled the rag over my shoulders and head. And then I felt soft fabric being pulled over my arms.
Two pink lines.
The mattress dipped. “You can open your eyes now.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay in the dark world of my mind. I didn’t want to see color, or acknowledge my reality. I didn’t want to face the world where everything got taken away from me, where other people played God with my life, pulling all the strings and deciding my fate.
“Open your eyes, Tatum.”
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, choking on more tears.
“Open them.”
And I did. I managed to open my eyes and stare at the face I loved so much. His gaze never left mine as he slowly, gently buttoned up the shirt he had placed over my arms and shoulders. It was his shirt, since he wasn’t wearing one anymore.
I could see in his eyes that he knew. He knew everything. And I also saw my pain reflected in his dark irises. We both lost so much.
Someone snorted from across the room. “So considerate of you brother, cleaning away the last remains of what once was your bastard child.”
The sound of his voice made my skin crawl.
“It’s a shame you couldn’t have been here earlier when most of it came down. It was quite the bloody show.”
Castello shot up from the bed, rushed over, and punched Carlo in the face. Bone cracked, and I immediately looked his way since I loved the sound of his face breaking.
Carlo spat out a mouth full of blood. “You know,” he started. “No matter what you do, you won’t be able to change it.”
“Change what?” Castello seethed.
“The fact that I had her first. The fact that my cock stretched that pussy of hers first.”
Another fist to his jaw, and Carlo’s face jerked to the side. The sight of blood that spat from his face somehow managed to numb the pain—like morphine. Seeing Carlo bleed dulled the ache in my soul…and it felt good.
Castello leaned closer to his brother. “I would love nothing more than to put a bullet through your skull.”
“Then do it,” Carlo bit out between bloodied teeth.
“Unfortunately, revenge is no longer mine to take, brother.” Castello stood up straight and looked at me. I cocked my head to the side, my soul hardening with every second that passed. There was nothing but emptiness inside me. I felt nothing. But as I looked past Castello at Carlo, crimson dripping from his nose…I felt something raw, something deep. Something that had its roots planted deep inside the foundation of hate.
Castello walked over to me, and held out his hand.
The glint of the knife caught my attention. I looked up at him questioningly even though I knew what he was saying.
He gestured toward the knife. “This is your revenge to take, little mouse.”
I bit down on my lip as I reached for the knife. I expected it to feel heavy in my hand, but it didn’t. It felt light, yet cold and hard. Kind of like me on the inside.
Castello helped me up, my legs trembling beneath me. Whether it was the meds or shock, I didn’t know, but I was weak, my anger the only thing that strengthened me enough to stand up straight with the support of Castello’s arm around my waist.
Carlo started to laugh. “Just proves you don’t know her at all. She’s not capable of murder. She’s too weak. She doesn’t have it in her to take a life.”
I glared at him. His face. His eyes. His lips. It nauseated me. I could still feel his fingers inside me, pushing the poison as deep as he could, killing my baby. I could still hear his voice as he told me everything was going to be okay. Well it’s not. Nothing would ever be okay again.
I gave a step forward and my legs shook, but the fury mixed with pain fueled me, it pushed me to keep on moving. Castello’s arm was still wrapped around my waist, and I leaned into him just a little more.
“I’ve got you,” he assured me softly.
Carlo kept on smiling. “Pity he’s too late, huh? If he didn’t leave you in the first place, all of this probably wouldn’t have happened.”
I chose not to listen to a word he said, even though it rang true. Castello left. But that no longer mattered. Nothing mattered.
I gripped the knife tighter in my hand, and Carlo glanced at the blade before his menacing stare shot up to mine. “So, are you going to tell him, or should I?”
I froze mid-step.
Carlo nodded toward Castello. “Maybe you should tell him. It would be better if it came from you don’t you think?”
“Tell me what?” Castello glanced from Carlo to me, but I kept my deadly glare on the son of a bitch in front of me.
“Tell him, Tatum. Tell my dear twin brother what happened.”
My nostrils flared, and I could feel my veins swell with rage. Heat spread through my body, every muscle clenched. My breathing slowed, and I grabbed hold of every ounce of fury that boiled like lava inside my veins, threatening to erupt.
“Okay, fine.” Carlo sighed. “If you don’t have the guts to, I’ll tell him.”
And then I snapped. The last thread of humanity I had left in me cracked, and I rushed forward screaming maniacally before shoving the blade in the bottom of his chin and up his face. I felt his skin tear, the knife hitting bone. Blood gurgled out of his mouth, out of the wound, and it spilled over my hand. It was warm, thick, and as I watched the blood run down my hand and arm, dripping to the floor, I could feel it feed my broken soul, soothing it, consoling it. Carlo choked on his own blood, and I shoved the knife even deeper up his face. Crimson bubbled out of his nose as the last air left his body. The sweet metallic smell of blood filled my nose, and my anger loved the scent.
“Tatum?” Castello moved his hand on my waist, but I ignored it. I only shoved the knife deeper, wishing I could do it all over again. And then I did. I ripped it out of his face and stabbed it through his cheek.
And then I did it again.
And again.
And again.
The more blood I saw seeping out of his head, the more I wanted to see. With every jab, I saw all the lies, all the deception, all the pain…all because of this man. All I’d been through, everything that had happened was because of him. He destroyed my life…as well as the life of my unborn child.
I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I took the knife in both hands, and using all my strength I forced the blade through the top of his head…and left it there.
Tears silently ran down my face as I stared at the bloodied face of the monster that had taken everything from me. I did that. I killed him…and I wish I could do it again.
Castello placed his jacket over my shoulders. “It’s over, little mouse. He’s dead.”
My body trembled as I kept staring at the corpse in front of me. I wanted to look at him as long as possible to make sure I never forget what my revenge looked like. The blood, the brutal sight of what his face looked like after I sliced it and stabbed it over, and over, and over again.
“It’s over.” Castello turned me to face him and pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s finally over.”
“Castello.” Uncle Gino stood by the door. “I think you need to get her home, let Doc take a look at her. I’ll make sure this all gets cleaned up.”
“Thank you, Uncle.”
Castello wiped my hair back over my shoulder and placed his hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “What was he talking about, little mouse? What did he want to tell me?”
The little piece of what was left of my heart thudded behind my ribs. He could never know. Castello could never know about what happened at The Capital. This would be the one thing I would keep to myself forever.
I glanced at Carlo’s disfigured face, blood still dripping in dark crimson clots. What happened at The Capital died with him, and I would take this secret to my grave. We’d suffered enough. It was over now, and I would not allow Carlo to ruin our lives any further.
“He was the one who caused it,” I started. “He violated my body by putting those pills inside me, his fingers pushing so deep it hurt.”
Castello cursed, then grabbed both my shoulders and turned me to face him. “Never again. Never again, Tatum. You have been surrounded by lies for so long. From now on, I will dedicate my life to make sure you are surrounded by nothing but vows. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from him. I swear to God I will never, ever leave you again. I vow to protect you. I vow to you make you my life. I vow to keep you, to never let you go. And I vow to love you even after death.”
A tear slipped down his face, and somehow, I found comfort in that one single tear.
“I love you, Tatum.”