I’d never slept better in my life.

Maybe it was the lush memory foam mattress in the room Jason gave me.

Maybe it was the extreme quiet of his home.

Maybe it was merely the absence of the feeling that I needed to keep one eye open at all times — just in case.

But something let me sleep the most beautiful, peaceful sleep I’d ever experienced and I woke up ready to take on the world, even if Alex’s cries are what actually brought me out of that peaceful sleep. I picked him up from this crib, changed his diaper, then carried him into the kitchen to make his breakfast.

Jason was already gone, but he’d left me a sweet note and five hundred dollars in cash next to the phone.

Good morning, Daisy!

Here’s an advance on your first paycheck just in case you need anything. If you need more, just let me know. I’m off to work, and I have a full caseload today, so I won’t be home till late.

Make yourself at home — take a dip in the pool!

Call me if you need anything.

Love,

Jason

I ran my fingers over the bills, feeling the ridges of the paper and the bumps of the ink. I’d never held this much money in my hands before and I certainly hadn’t had that amount to spend freely at one time. The paltry amount the shelter paid me barely kept Alex in diapers and I’d never gotten more than a fifty dollar allowance on top of my living expenses from Ruby every two weeks.

Carefully, I folded it in half and put it in the pocket of my jeans, unable to contain my joy.

My reservations at leaving the shelter were quickly fading and the sheer joy of living in this beauty of a house was taking over. I sat Alex at the kitchen table, looking out at the expansive garden and pool while I fed him.

“What should we do today?” I asked him, not expecting an answer. He wasn’t much for conversation, but he was learning words very quickly, which I was immensely proud of. I couldn’t wait to discuss all kinds of things with him, hear his opinions about the world, watch him explore his emotions with words.

“You’ve never been in a pool before,” I said to him. He smiled, shoving Cheerios in his mouth, completely and blissfully unaware of anything but joy.

Chester was dancing around my legs, jumping up and down excitedly.

“Do you want to go out?” I asked him, heading to the large sliding glass doors that led to the backyard. Instead, he took off the other direction, sitting by the front door.

“Okay, okay,” I said, laughing. “Give me a minute.”

I slid on a pair of flip flops and grabbed Alex, sitting him down on the floor while I clipped Chester’s leash onto his collar. Alex pointed to his exuberantly wagging tail and laughed with glee.

“You’re easily amused,” I said to him as I picked him up and carried him outside, Chester’s leash in my hand.

Jason’s neighborhood was one of the lushest I’d ever seen. Surrounding Washington Park, the streets were narrow and lined with tall, swaying trees. The houses were like something out of a movie — so perfectly designed and manicured, with expensive cars dotting the driveways and winding flower-lined sidewalks leading to double doors that led into poshly decorated living rooms.

I'd never allowed myself to dream that I’d ever live in a place like this, and yet here I was. Hoping like hell I hadn’t made a huge mistake by giving up one of the rare private rooms at the shelter, I kept telling myself I’d just be here a little while. Long enough to save enough money to get a place of our own. In the meantime, I’d allow myself to enjoy something I never dreamed I’d get to experience.

The good life.

All my life, I’d watched as wealthy men stepped out of their limos and into my apartment, removing their Rolexes before consuming the product they’d purchased.

That product was me.

A human being.

But they bought me like they’d bought a million inanimate objects before me. Haggling over a price, then barreling right in once they’d paid the fee. To them, I was merely another high-priced meal, or a new suit or pair of shoes. Something to be consumed and used until it had lost its luster or usefulness, whichever came first.

Being under Jason’s roof was bringing up a lot of issues for me, but I was barely aware of it. A question lingered at the edges of my mind and I’d been pushing it away since I’d opened my eyes this morning. Now that I was out of his house, strolling past even more luxurious homes than Jason’s, the clear skies overhead and the slight breeze in the air, carrying the scent of roses from the rose gardens across the park, the question became louder, clearer, until I could no longer avoid it, like an incessant, annoying chirping that wouldn’t stop.

“He’s just another man paying you, isn’t he?”

It was a stupid question, I know, but it was one I needed to answer, loudly and clearly.

“No!” I exclaimed out loud, startling Alex and causing Chester to stop in his tracks. “Sorry, not you, Chester.” I leaned down, kissing Alex’s forehead.

“It’s not the same,” I muttered to myself. “This is a real job. He’s not using me. It’s not sexual.”

Of course, I’d seen the look in Jason’s eyes last night right before I’d pushed him away. I knew it would be easy to fall into his arms, to fall into some premature situation that I certainly wasn’t ready for.

Besides that, he wasn’t ready for me.

I’m a hot mess. I don’t know what I want. I don’t even know who the hell I really am. Maybe I’m learning it, one little baby step at a time, but for now? No way. I’m not anywhere close to being ready for a relationship, of all things.

Maybe I never would be ready for that.

But I couldn’t help but admit to myself that his kiss had been amazing, that I’d felt butterflies in my stomach in a way I’d never felt before when his lips touched mine.

He was so gentle, it almost hurt.

I sighed as we rounded the corner of Jason’s street. A whole new set of homes to explore laid before us and we kept walking. I stretched my neck, attempting to peek into windows and back yards from my place on the sidewalk, curious to see how other people lived. I wondered about their lives, if they were happy, if all of these material things made them happy.

I wondered who they were before…

Were any of them like me? Had they felt betrayal unlike any other?

Did surrounding yourself with all of this beauty take the pain away at all?

Chester sniffed every bush and flower we passed, so our walk consisted of mostly standing around and waiting for him to move on.

I was standing in front of an all white Colonial mansion with a bright red door and huge pots of red bougainvillea flanking it when the door opened. A tall blonde emerged, a rolled up yoga mat in one hand and a coffee thermos in the other. Her severe, straight blonde bob framed her face like stiff, silky curtains. She walked out to her waiting car, a sleek black on black Range Rover.

She stopped when she noticed me and waved.

“Hi, Solana,” she shouted.

I froze, looking behind me for Solana. We were alone on the street.

I looked back at her and shook my head.

“I'm not Solana,” I said, mustering a smile.

“Oh?” She asked. “I thought you were the Bradford’s new nanny.”

She walked over, her slim yoga body graceful and lithe, her hand held out.

“I’m Indigo,” she said, smiling a huge perfect smile.

“I’m Daisy,” I said, shaking her hand.

“You live around here, Daisy?” She asked, a curious gleam in her ice blue eyes.

“I just moved in,” I said. “Last night.”

“Is that so? Which house is yours? I didn’t notice any moving trucks,” she replied, raking her gaze up and down my body. Suddenly, I wished I’d taken a shower and combed my hair, perhaps even put on a bra, before stepping outside the door.

“Oh, um…well,” I stuttered, shifting Alex to my hip. “I’m housesitting. Or dog-sitting.”

She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow and I wondered if she’d gotten them threaded, like I’d seen on a poster at the mall one day. She looked down at Chester and looked back at me in surprise.

“For Jason?” She asked, her eyebrow raising even higher. I couldn’t stop looking at it, it traveled so far up, it was almost in her hairline. I wondered if it hurt to do that and I knew I’d be in the mirror practicing in half an hour.

“Yes, for Jason,” I said. “Or, Chester rather,” I pointed to Chester, who was sniffing her Nikes.

She nodded slowly, raking her eyes over me again.

“Interesting,” she said, drawing the word out slowly like I’d just told her the sky was green.

“Is it?” I quipped. “Why?”

“Jason usually keeps to himself,” she said.

“He’s very busy,” I replied.

“I suppose so,” she shrugged. “Still, it’s a bit rude to turn down every invite to every neighborhood party you’ve been invited to.”

So, Jason was antisocial, huh? Or, perhaps, maybe he just didn’t want to be at a party with people like her. Afraid I’d say the wrong thing, I figured it was a good time to leave.

“Nice to meet you, Indigo,” I said, tugging gently on Chester’s leash and beginning to walk away.

“You, too…um, what did you say your name was?” She asked.

I turned and looked over my shoulder at her.

“Daisy.”

“Daisy,” she murmured, staring after me curiously. “Well, Daisy, if you ever want to catch a yoga class with me, I go every morning at nine.”

“Sure, thanks,” I said, nodding, knowing that hell would freeze over before I went anywhere with her. I’m sure she was nice enough, but she just seemed so damned perfectly put together that she made me uncomfortable.

Especially next to me, with my wild, untamed shock of red hair and the eraser nipples I’d been blessed with after breastfeeding Alex for six months that were currently trying to rip their way out of my thin t-shirt.

I waved and kept walking, rounding the corner and blissfully forgetting all about Indigo at the same time.

It was clear I didn’t fit in here already, but I reminded myself that it was only temporary. Jason was nice, in fact, he was so much more than that, but just like I didn’t fit in with the neighborhood, and with women like Indigo, I knew I wouldn’t fit in with Jason’s life, either.

He knew it, too. How could he not?

He was merely being kind, because his heart was just that big.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind a few kisses, or even more, in the meantime, but I’d be fooling myself if I let myself think this whole thing was anything more than a pit stop on the way to my future.

I squeezed Alex as we made our way back to Jason’s, kissing him again.

“Our future,” I murmured, “is going to be wonderful, I promise, baby.”

I closed the door behind us, hanging Chester’s leash back in the closet and put Alex down. He ran over to the glass doors, pointing outside.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He was ready to enjoy the good life, too.

“Okay, we can go swimming,” I said. “But don’t get used to luxury, baby, it’s only temporary.”

I ran down the hall to our bedroom and fished my cut off shorts and a t-shirt out of a still packed box. Now, I knew why I’d been avoiding unpacking last night.

“Everything’s temporary…” I murmured, as I slipped into my swim suit.