I knew it was a bad idea to go for this drink with Jared. But how could I not?

I had so many questions for him. So much to say! I had ten years’ worth of pent up emotions rattling around inside me. Was this venting going to be healthy?

I’d texted Mona after Jared left. I needed to tell someone to keep my sanity. When I returned to my apartment from the office, she was already waiting there for me.

“Are you going to go?” was the first thing she said.

I walked past her, headed for the shower.

“I think I kinda have to,” I told her.

“Why? Why do you have to?” Mona called after me, but I was in the shower already.

She was waiting for me in the bedroom when I got out. A towel was wrapped tightly around my body.

“You could just blow him off. Isn’t that what he did to you all those years ago?” I could hear the concern in Mona’s voice. She was worried I was going to suffer from a nervous breakdown.

The thing was, I never expressly told her my feelings for Jared. I didn’t have to. After he disappeared, it was pretty easy for her to figure it out. I’d spent days locked up in my room, refusing to speak to anyone or even eat.

When I did leave the house, it was only so I could go sit by the lake where Jared and I used to go. It was winter and frozen over. One day Mona found me there, still sitting by the bank. She thought I was going to catch my death from the cold.

“I need to find out why he left. Why he didn’t tell me where he was going,” I argued, while I put on a dress.

I was conscious of what I was wearing. Usually I threw on the first thing I could find in my wardrobe. I was always too busy, too caught up with work to think about my clothes. This evening, I picked out a short turquoise cocktail dress. One I hadn’t worn in months.

“Does it even matter anymore? I mean, Elsie…it’s been ten years. Why do you care where he went? You know where he is right now. You know exactly what he’s been up to!” Mona followed me around the room while I got ready.

“It matters to me,” I replied, as I put on a pair of earrings.

“Is that why you’re putting on your best lipstick and your highest heels? To get answers from him?” Mona remarked. I stared at her in the mirror. She was standing behind me with her arms crossed, challenging me with her eyes.

I rolled my eyes and continued with the makeup. Nothing too heavy. But I didn’t want to look like I’d just woken up either.

“I know what you’re doing, Elsie…” Mona interrupted me again. I breathed in heavily, regretting telling Mona in the first place.

“You want him to see what he’s missed, make him regret he left.” As she finished that sentence, I whipped around to her.

“He’s not missed anything, Mona!” I was screaming at my sister now. “He’s made himself into a billionaire. He dates the sexiest supermodels in the country. He lives in a mansion! What has he missed?” I was close to tears as I yelled the words.

Mona rushed towards me, pulling me into her arms now.

“So, why are you going?” she asked in a softer, more sympathetic voice.

“Because I want to know what I did. He left without a word. He forgot about me in a day. He would have known I was worried…his family was worried, but he didn’t give a shit. I want to know why!” I clung to Mona tightly. She was stroking my hair as she held me.

“Because Jared Morin has always been the most arrogant guy around. We all knew it. Come on, Elsie, you knew it too. Nobody knew him like you did. He was always going to leave. Madison Green was too small for him. It was holding him back. He wanted bigger things,” Mona replied, peering into my eyes…hopeful that she would be able to change my mind.

We hadn’t spoken about Jared like this, ever. I had no idea that was what she thought of him. She was right. I’d always known he was going to leave our little town. I was just foolish enough to hope that he would take me with him. That he would at least tell me he was going!

I drew away from Mona, slipping into the heels I’d picked out for the night.

“I want to hear it from him. I want him to look me in the eye and confess that our town was never good enough. That I was never good enough for him,” I told her, without meeting her eyes.

“Elsie, you’re only going to end up hurting yourself,” she whispered, with tears brimming in her eyes.

I went over to her and kissed her on her cheek.

“You should go back to Emma and Dane. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you in the morning when this is all over,” I said and, leaving her in my bedroom, I walked out.

I’d texted him already. We were going to meet at a fancy cocktail bar not too far from my apartment. I wanted to meet him some place I was familiar with, where I would feel comfortable.

Now, I walked to it in my heels and my tight dress. I felt like a fool. Mona was right about everything. I’d dressed up like this to make him see that I was doing well. That I didn’t miss him.

But he would see right through me. He always had.

Mona was wrong about one thing. I didn’t know Jared at all. He was the one who knew me completely. And that was because I’d revealed myself to him. I should have known better.