Kade
I went to the shop to see Caleb, my expression grim. Brody hadn’t told me much, probably didn’t know all that much, but he’d told me that he was my replacement. That alone told me enough. It told me that I was being relieved of my duty—and there was only one thing that could have driven Caleb to that.
My only consolation was that at least Caleb had sent someone who I deemed a friend, loyal and true, who’d protect Abby when I couldn’t.
But I need to, I thought miserably, wondering how I was going to do that from the distance that was about to engulf us.
The shop was busy with members of the Destroyers. They were my buddies, my friends, hell, even my family, but today they were pointedly ignoring me. Not a single one so much as glanced my way. Maybe it was all in my head, but I felt as though they were putting deliberate distance between me and them.
Like I was an outsider.
I went to Caleb’s office, pausing outside the door. As soon as I stepped through, I knew things were going to be bad. The look on Brody’s face had told me that much at least. Screwing up my courage, I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
As soon as I stepped inside and Caleb got a look at me, I was blindsided. He crossed the length of the room in two strides and suddenly his fist was in my face. He slugged me with all that he was worth, catching me hard in the jaw. I heard a cracking noise and hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.
Stumbling back, I fell against the door frame to catch myself, my right hand going up to feel my face. I tasted blood, telling me that my lip was split and that I probably had a bloody nose. Wiping at it, I glanced over at Caleb, waiting for the next blow.
But it never came.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded in a roaring voice with eyes that flashed in anger. He didn’t wait for me to answer as he continued on with what would surely be a tirade. “Did you think you could get away with fucking my niece without me ever knowing? Did you think that I’d just roll over once you got into her panties and let you do as you pleased?”
I tried to interject, to tell him that I hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, but he wasn’t going to let me have a word in edgewise until he was finished. Not like he’d believe me anyway.
“How could you do this to me? You know what she means to me, and then you go over there and fuck her like she was just some chick? Some girl you could pick up at the bar and have your way with?”
At this I shook my head and forced my words out into the room. “She could never be just some girl!” Caleb looked at me sharply, his eyes narrowing angrily like a jungle cat stalking its prey, ready to pounce. But I kept going. “Look, I know this looks bad. I know that this seems like I just blatantly ignored everything you told me.”
Caleb gave me a look that said silently, you think? I ignored it. “But that isn’t what happened. I tried to stay away from her, but damnit, Caleb, when I held her…I didn’t just fuck her, you need to know that. I have honest feelings for her and I—”
“Shut up,” Caleb snapped, having heard enough. “You don’t know the first thing about my niece and you wouldn’t know the first thing about honest feelings. Are you fucking kidding me? Look at you. You wouldn’t know love or anything like it if it came up and kicked you in the cock.”
I opened my mouth, about to argue, but Caleb gave me a murderous look and in the best interests of us both, I kept silent.
“You’re done, Kade,” he said evenly, working hard to keep himself calm, but the bite in his voice was unmistakable. “You’re no longer Abby’s bodyguard in any capacity, do you understand?”
I winced. Although I knew this had been coming, it was still a harsh blow. This had started out as a job that I couldn’t turn down—not because I didn’t want to, but because it just wasn’t an option. But things had changed since then. They had changed because I needed to be around to protect her, because I felt like she needed me. There was some psychopath out to get her and I didn’t care if she had a thousand bodyguards, I knew in my heart that I was the only one who could really protect her.
She wouldn’t let anyone else.
Which was why I found myself arguing. “I know why you’re doing this. I understand, but I’m asking you to reconsider.”
Caleb made a scoffing sound, turning away from me and going behind his desk as though to sit. But he couldn’t seem to settle down enough to sit, so he just stood there, hands clasped tightly behind his back, staring at the wall and grinding his teeth. “And why in the hell should I do that, Kade? So you can screw my niece some more?”
I gritted my teeth, sucking in a whistling breath between them in an effort to calm down. It didn’t work very well, but I forced myself to be calm anyway. If I wanted a shot at protecting Abby, I was going to have to keep it together.
“No. So I can protect her,” I countered, only barely keeping my voice even. “You can have Brody there to be an additional guard. Hell, have ten guys there, a hundred, I don’t care, but let me keep protecting her.”
His eyes swiveled to me, darkening as he stared me down menacingly. “Protecting her? Is that what you think you were doing? Protecting her?”
My shoulders tensed. My whole body felt ready for a fight, ready to go after Caleb and punch him until he bled. Not because I hadn’t considered him a friend and the best boss I’d ever had, but because I had the feeling that there was no way I could convince him that I had the right intentions when it came to Abby.
That, and I didn’t like the insinuation that what I was doing with Abby was somehow wrong.
It can’t be wrong when I feel like this for her, I thought, but had the common sense to keep it to myself.
Instead, I got out only one word, “Yes.”
For a long while, there was nothing but silence between the two of us. Caleb stared at me long and hard, thinking things over, considering me and all that I had done. He was my final judgement, and if he deemed me unworthy, there would be no appeal.
Finally, he said, “You’re done. Done being her bodyguard—and done being an Angel.”
My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. What? Surely I had misheard. But the tightness in my chest told me that I hadn’t. “You…you don’t mean that—”
“I do. I mean that you are stripped of your patches, Kade Johnson. I want you out of my club, out of my life—and out of Abby’s.”
My body was shaking with tension and shock. Out of the club? No longer an Angel? For the last ten years of my life, this was all I knew. These people had taken me in, shown me the ropes. They’d kept my nose clean and when things got bad, I wasn’t the one they threw under the bus. Solidarity. Family. This was the closest I’d ever had to either.
And now it was gone.
I shook my head. “I wish you wouldn’t do this, boss.”
“I’m not your boss anymore. I’m no one to you.”
The dark, grim look in his eyes told me that this was no joke. And he wasn’t going to change his mind. This was his final decision, no matter what I said or felt about the matter. I suddenly felt exhausted, my shoulders slumping. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I didn’t think it was stay away from Abby like he hoped.
I turned to go, but before I did, Caleb called back to me. Hope sprang in my chest because I was stupid and wanted to believe that I meant something to Caleb, no matter how pissed he was.
But when I looked back at him, the same hard expression remained and I knew that whatever else he needed to add wouldn’t be good.
“There’s one last thing I need you to do, Kade,” he told me grimly.
Part of me wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. He just kicked me out of his club and forbid me from guarding Abby, what did I owe him at this point? But the rest of me remembered that until this moment, Caleb had been good to me. If there was a parting favor he wanted of me, I’d probably give it willingly.
“I need you to break up with Abby.”
I froze. No. I wouldn’t do that.
Technically, Caleb could fire me from being Abby’s bodyguard and I might respect that to an extent. I’d let him send someone else over there to protect her and do the digging that would lead us to James Austin. But that didn’t mean I’d just stay away from Abby. We had a connection, and I hadn’t been lying when I told him that I had honest feelings for her. I refused to call it love so early on, but something in my heart told me that was exactly what it was.
And Caleb couldn’t order that away.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Oh? That’s funny, I’m pretty sure that I was just fired and kicked out of your club. Last I checked that means you’re not my boss anymore. So why the hell should I do that?”
If Caleb was hurt by my words, he didn’t show it. In fact, it looked as though he’d anticipated my rebuttal, because he finally sat down behind his desk. He looked the picture of calm. “Because if you weren’t lying and she isn’t just some piece of tail—”
“I’m not,” I ground out fiercely.
“—then you’ll do what’s best for her. And even if you don’t agree with anything else I’ve said here today, you will agree with me when I say that she deserves better than the likes of you.”
I froze. I wanted to yell at him that I was just as deserving as any other asshole out there. I wanted to argue that I earned my right to be beside her. I wanted to tell him that the right thing to do for her was to stay by her side.
But I couldn’t. Not quite.
“She’s not just some girl, Kade. She pulled herself up out of the dirty streets to stardom. She didn’t take any handouts or shortcuts and I know she’s been offered them. I know there were guys who would have given her a starring role if she’d only spread her legs—but she wouldn’t. She worked her ass off instead and proved that she deserved those roles. She worked until no one could deny that she belongs where she is today—and you want to drag her back to those dirty streets.”
I listened to him silently and with each word, I felt as though he were hitting me in the stomach, forcing the air form my lungs.
If it was a matter of love and affection, of how hard I would work to protect her, how hard I’d try to make her happy, then I would win. I would fight. But this? No, I couldn’t argue with this, because in the end I thought he was right. Abby deserved better than me.
All I could do was nod and leave the room. Behind me, I heard Caleb call out to me, “You’re doing the right thing.”
The right thing had never felt so horrible.
***
I went back to Abby’s mansion reluctantly. The last thing I wanted to do was this, but it had to be done. And it had to be done now because I didn’t think I’d have the strength to do it later. I’d rationalized the whole thing, convinced myself that being with Abby was the right thing.
But it wasn’t. I had to do this.
I left my bike parked in the front instead of down in the garage below the house. I wouldn’t be staying long after all, and I wanted to be able to make a quick escape when the time came. Going to the door, I knocked solidly twice then waited.
It was Brody who opened the door.
His eyebrows rose in surprise, clearly not expecting to see me there. “What are you…?” But I pushed past him into the room just as Abby rounded the corner, probably to ask Brody who it was. As soon as she saw me, her face lit up. Her full lips spread into a huge smile and she rushed over to me.
My heart ached at how beautiful she was, and how happy she was to see me.
She threw her arms around my neck and dragged her face up to mine, planting a heated kiss to my mouth that begged me to dive in, to reciprocate. Her mouth pleaded with me for more, her tongue sliding across my lower lip to ask for entrance. But I couldn’t give it to her. No matter how much I wanted to lose myself in the feel and taste of her, I had to pull back.
I did so as gently as I could, though I could tell she didn’t appreciate it. She blinked at me in surprise.
“Kade?”
I looked over at Brody. “Give us a minute, would you?”
Brody hesitated for half a second, clearly not sure what the appropriate response was supposed to be. Ultimately, he just muttered something under his breath and left the room. When he was gone, I turned back to Abby.
She grinned at me and tried to kiss me again, but I turned my head away. I unwrapped her arms from my neck and put a deliberate step between us, even though it made my insides feel as though they were trying to tear themselves apart.
“Kade? What’s going on?” Her sweet voice was laced with worry.
Willing my voice to remain steady, to make my voice angry and hard, I answered Abby evenly. “I just came back to tell you that it’s over.”
She blinked at me. “Over? What are you…?”
“Shit, you really are a dumb blonde, aren’t you?”
She flinched like I’d just slapped her across the face, but I kept going before she could respond or catch her breath.
“It’s over. You and me. You were a decent lay, but for all your looks, I’ve had better. I figured you were a porn star with tits like those, but instead you’re just some prissy little girl who—”
The slap kept me from saying more, thank god. She had put all the force she could behind that hand, striking me on the jaw where I’d only just been punched by Caleb less than an hour ago. It made the sting all the worse, but really, I didn’t mind.
I deserved that slap for saying those things, even if I only said them to get her to hate me. Judging by the anger in her eyes mixed with the tears that had yet to fall, I would say that I’d managed that at least.
It didn’t make me feel better.
“Bastard,” she said in a soft voice. I could hear the tears lingering in her voice. “Get the hell out of here—and never come back. I never want to see you again.”
I looked her over one last time, then silently, I left.