ALEXIS

THINGS WERE BEGINNING TO get rowdy downstairs as I rifled through my side of the closet, trying to figure out what I was going to wear. I needed to make Colton notice me, but I also didn’t want to look out of place.

When we’d returned from lunch, Finn had informed us that he’d invited everyone over for a kegger tonight. By the sounds of it, “everyone” was a lot of fucking people, and I was more than a little nervous. I had no clue what to wear to a college party. Dean and I didn’t go to those things, at least not to any that sounded like whatever was taking place beneath me.

As I was stripping out of my purple dress for the third time, Colt’s message alert sounded.

Colton: Where are you? Get down here!

Me: I don’t know what to wear.

Colton: Something baggy. Really fucking baggy.

Rolling my eyes, I slipped the plum dress back over my head. It was short, ending mid-thigh, with a scandalously low V-neck, held up by thin spaghetti straps. What I loved most about the new girls was that they were always perky with or without a bra. Colton’s message was exactly the push I needed to forgo the strapless booby trap that I’d just be adjusting all night anyway. He’d notice all right...Hopefully, I wouldn’t piss him off too much.

I slipped my feet into a pair of strappy silver gladiator sandals then sprayed a little perfume on my neck before inhaling a few deep breaths and heading down to join the party.

My heart raced as I gripped the banister tightly in my sweaty hand, feeling a little disoriented as I descended the twisty stairs. The music was so loud that I couldn’t hear my own thoughts above the bass pounding in my head. During the few hours I’d spent getting ready, the living room had been transformed into a dance floor, complete with strobe lights and a fog machine. There was a DJ set up in the corner and a handful of girls on the dance floor, grinding all over one another. The furniture had been pushed up against the far wall where there were already couples getting hot and heavy with their tongues down each other’s throats and hands pawing away beneath their clothes.

“There you are,” Blex said, intercepting me at the bottom of the steps. Instant relief. The guy was a saint.

“Hey, you.” I beamed, taking his hand as he led me to the kitchen. “You guys work fast.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling back at me over his shoulder while filling a Solo cup from one of the kegs that were now taking up the space where the kitchen table sat just a few hours earlier. As he handed me the cup, Blex’s eyes gave me a once-over. He sucked in a deep breath, scrubbing his jaw in his hand. “Very nice, Miss Alexis.” He nodded with an appreciative smile. “Fowls is going to shit when he sees you.”

I gave him an exaggerated wink. “That’s the plan.”

“Brace yourself,” Blex warned, placing a warm hand on my lower back as Colton strode over with yet another blond bimbo on his arm. So, apparently, blondes and blowjobs were his thing.

I fought hard to keep my emotions from showing on my face as I smiled at my best friend and his latest Hoover. “Hey, Colt!”

His eyes were scathing as they scanned my body. Colt cleared his throat, opening his mouth to say something before quickly clamping it shut. From the corner of my eye, I saw Blex shaking his head slightly.

“You look nice,” I said, running a hand down the front of his white button down. I swallowed the saliva pooling in my mouth. He didn’t just look nice. He looked...delicious. Colt had traded his signature mesh shorts for khaki cargos and his Jordans for Sperrys. His white shirt was cuffed at the elbows, and his hair was a fluff of wild, tousled curls. I fought the urge to lick his jaw—the desire to feel the day-old scruff growing on his face against my tongue. He looked like summer. Momentarily, I was taken back to weeks spent at the beach. Memories of the two of us lounging in the sand for days on end flooded my head. Catching starfish and hermit crabs and storing them in buckets as temporary pets for the duration of our stay.

The rough sound of Blex clearing his throat brought me back to reality, making me realize I’d been standing there with my hand on Colton’s chest far longer than anyone would deem appropriate. His heart was thundering against my fingers, matching the erratic rhythm of my own. “Sorry,” I whispered, snatching my hand away.

“You’re fine...It’s fine, Allie,” he rasped, clearing a ball of emotion from his throat. The way he looked at me at times—the way he was looking at me right in that very moment—had me questioning how it could even be possible that he didn’t feel what I felt. But if he felt this too, why the games? Why the girls?

“I’m Lyla,” the blonde on Colton’s arm announced, extending her hand in my direction, breaking the trance I’d obviously needed help getting out of. If she’d noticed that I’d been fawning over her—whatever Colt was to her—she didn’t let it show.

The kind smile on her face and the softness of her voice had my stomach churning with guilt. “Nice to meet you, Lyla.” I reached back, shaking her hand. “I’m Alex.”

Recognition dawned on her face, and she burst out laughing.

Colton’s head hung, his hand lifting to pinch the bridge of his nose, and I swear I heard the word “shit” groaned in his voice despite the music and conversations taking place all around us.

I looked over to Blex, who shrugged his shoulders. Apparently, he wasn’t in on the joke either.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, feeling less guilty and more annoyed.

“It was you.” She shook her head with a resigned smile. “I was the one with Colton...”

“Umm, okay.” Did she think she was special or something? From what I could tell, Colt was with a lot of girls.

Colt looked up at me beneath his thick dark lashes, nibbling on his bottom lip.

“I was about to suck his dick when he got your call and sent my ass packin’.” She elbowed Colton. “It was her, right?”

He mouthed the words, “I’m sorry,” as he bobbed his head slowly.

“Dayum, girl. Is your pussy made of gold or something? I must say, I’ve never had a man snatch his dick out of my hand and shove it back in his pants like that.”

Heat filled my cheeks...my neck...I felt it radiating in my ears. “We’re not...Colt and I aren’t like that. We’re just friends.” I felt like I would faint on the spot, but Blex’s hand reached out for mine, steadying me.

Lyla eyed me suspiciously. “You sure, honey?”

I raised the cup in my hand to my lips, downing its contents. “Yup...Best friends. Right, Colt?”

For a moment, he had this blank stare, and I didn’t know how to read it. “The best,” he finally agreed with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Dance with me?” Blex asked, presenting me with a fresh beer. I hadn’t even noticed when he’d left my side to grab it. He was like my guardian angel sent to look out for me. I was so grateful for his presence.

“Thank you.” I smiled up at my new friend, taking the drink from his hand. He was offering me an escape, and at that moment, I needed one desperately. “I’d love to.”

Blex was an incredible dancer, and the more I drank, the more I began to enjoy the feel of his hard body rubbing up against mine. I wanted him to touch me. To kiss me. But Blex was the perfect gentleman, thwarting all my advances, which would have been a good thing...If only I wasn’t totally shit faced. If I hadn’t got an eye full of Lyla straddling my best friend on the couch. If her tongue weren’t down his throat. If that bitch wasn’t dry humping my Colton right in front of my fucking face. If my heart hadn’t damn near stopped beating in my chest.

“Blex,” I whimpered, squeezing his arm.

“It’s okay, Alex...Don’t look.” He shook his head, disappointment written in every crease on his face. “He’s a fucking idiot.”

“Blex,” I whimpered again. The alcohol, my emotions...everything was hitting me all at once. “I-I really need you to kiss me right now.” Colton had reduced me to begging a man to kiss me. I’d never forgive him for this.

My new friend bit his bottom lip, shaking his head to himself. “I can’t. I promised Fowls...he’d kill me.” He started to move the thumb of the hand at my back in soothing strokes. Blex thought that he was comforting me, but he was only making things worse. I didn’t want to be comforted. I wanted to retaliate. I wanted revenge. I wanted to gouge my eyes from my head because I couldn’t un-see this. To cut my heart from my chest and stomp on it repeatedly ’til it was numb, because I couldn’t un-feel this.

And then I sort of lost it. “Fuck. Him,” I spat, backing away from Blex, my fists tightly clenched to my chest as if I could squeeze hard enough to stop the pain radiating deep within.

“Please don’t be mad at me, Alex,” Blex begged as I continued backing away with my eyes glued to the train wreck on the couch. What they say is true. I couldn’t stop watching them no matter how much it was ripping me apart.

“I’m not. I just...I need to be alone. I need some air.”

He nodded as I finally tore my eyes away and hauled ass, pushing through the crowds of people until I made it through the back door. It was the middle of the night, and I needed to talk to someone. Only one person knew how I felt about Colton, and she had told me to contact her if I needed anything. I was too drunk and desperate to care that it was far too late to be texting a woman of her age. Fishing my phone from my clutch, I pulled up Gertie’s number. I sat on the edge of the cement patio and poured my drunken heart out to my eighty-year-old friend. I was a loser.

Me: Hey. It’s me, Alex. I know it’s like after midnight, and you’re old so you’re probably sleeping and won’t get this ’til morning, but there’s this party at Colton’s house, and he’s practically having sex with this blond bitch right now in the living room. I just...I have no one to talk to. No one else knows about my feelings for Colton...I hope it’s okay that I’m messaging you.

Me: Shit. I just realized I called you old. Damnit. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. You’re so nice. I’m so drunk and sad. Let’s have lunch soon. K?

I was about to send another drunk text when a red Solo cup appeared before my face. Wrapped around that Solo cup was a very sexy hand. One I didn’t recognize. It was too white to be Colt or Blex and too thick to be Finn...I followed the arm it was attached to, finding an even more attractive man. Was Gertie a fairy godmother? Had she sent my prince to rescue me?

“You look like you could use a drink,” Prince Charming said, squatting to sit beside me. He was really tall. His legs stuck out a good two feet past mine into the yard.

I cleared my throat, swatting away tears. “Th-thank you,” I stammered, taking the drink from him.

“Rough night?” His brow dipped with the question, and I found myself staring at his chiseled jaw. His bright blue eyes. The spikey, cotton-blond hair that topped his head. I could certainly do worse. He was like a beefed-up version of Dean. Dean. What I wouldn’t give to be in his arms right now. To have him ease this ache in my chest. Why couldn’t I just be satisfied with what I knew was good for me?

I took a pull from my beer. “It was awful.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?”

Yes! My drunken mind was coming up with all sorts of wonderful ideas. Fucking my brains out in front of Colton being at the tippy-top of that list.

“Maybe...” I slurred. “Are you a prince?” I giggled to myself. I knew he wasn’t. I was drunk, not insane, but I felt like indulging myself a little. Silly felt good, and I was grasping at straws.

A loud, boisterous laugh boomed from his chest. “Hardly.”

“Are you a friend of Colton’s?” Just saying his name caused a lump to form in my throat.

His lips puckered, turning to the side. “Meh. Not really. We do play ball together, though.”

Even better. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Stephan. Stephan Young. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He thinks I’m pretty...I like him. I like him very much. He’s cute and nice, and he seems to like me back...He also doesn’t like Colt very much. We have so much in common already.

“I’m Alexis, or Alex, or Allie, and sometimes Colt calls me Al. But don’t call me that. He’s the only one that does, and I’m kind of mad at him right now.”

Stephan huffed out a laugh. “Got it...” He tucked a finger under my chin, turning my face up to his. “Alexis,” he rasped, and oh my God, my name on his lips was an aphrodisiac. His face moved closer. I could smell the beer on his breath, and I wanted to taste it. “So, you and Fowler?”

“Are just friends...maybe not even that right now,” I whispered as my eyes fluttered closed and my heart lurched.

Soft, pliant lips molded to mine as he dipped his tongue into my mouth and tangled it around my own. I felt so many things, and all of them were wrong, but it felt so good that I didn’t even care. Stephan laid my body on the ground, cradling my head in his hand to keep it from resting on the cement. His other hand cupped my thigh, squeezing gently. Conflicting thoughts swirled in my mind. One moment I was afraid he’d take things too far, and in the next, I was bucking against him and practically begging him to do just that. Feelings of fullness and emptiness warred inside me. I wanted this. I wanted it so bad...but when I closed my eyes, the ones looking back at me were green, not blue. When I reached up to grip his hair, my heart plummeted in my chest. It’s just fucking hair. Why were tears rolling down my cheeks? Why was I suddenly sniveling in the arms of the man who was to be my revenge? Why hadn’t Colton walked outside yet? I needed him to see what I saw. To hurt like I hurt.

“Shhh,” Stephan crooned, rubbing my back as he helped me to sit. My hands went to the sides of my head and squeezed in an attempt to keep the room from spinning. “It’s okay. I think you might have had a little too much to drink tonight, Alexis. Let’s get you on up to bed, huh?”

“You’re really nice,” I offered as he walked me through the crowd and helped to guide me up the treacherous stairs. “This one,” I said, pointing to Colton’s bedroom door.

“Fowler’s room, huh?” He eyed me skeptically.

I shrugged, rolling my eyes. “It’s nothing. Trust me. We’ve been sleeping together since we were babies.”

Stephan’s brows shot straight up, and he chuckled at my poor word choice.

I slapped my palm to my forehead. “Like in the same bed. Not like...you know...”

He touched a finger to my lips. “I knew what you meant.”

“I know.” I paused to hiccup. “I know it seems weird to most people, but we’re like brother and sister.” I nodded, feeling bile rise in my throat. I didn’t have any siblings, but I knew without a doubt that what I felt for Colton was anything but sisterly.

“Well, in that case...” His face lit up. Gosh, he was so handsome. “Can I take you out tomorrow night?”

“I’d love that,” I said a little too eagerly as I sat on the bed to remove my shoes. Colton wouldn’t be happy. That thought brought a smile to my lips.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at five?”

“It’s a date,” I answered just as Colton came barreling through the door. His eyes went first to me, sitting on the bed. Seeming satisfied to find that I was still clothed, he turned his attention to Stephan. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girl in my fucking room?”

Stephan’s lips curled into a smirk. “Your girl, huh? Funny, that’s not the story I heard from Alexis here.” His head tipped in my direction. “Tell me, Fowls, while she’s been crying on my shoulder for the last hour...where were you?”

Colton’s face fell.

“Yeah...How’s Lyla?” Stephan snarled, shaking his head. Colton said nothing. What could he say? “That’s what I thought...I’ll see you tomorrow, pretty girl.”

I nodded my head with new tears streaming down my cheeks as Stephan shouldered past Colton on his way out.

The room was quiet after Stephan left, aside from my sniveling and Colton’s heavy breaths. He kept looking at me...glaring at me. What the fuck did he have any right to be angry over?

I got up from the bed, stumbling over to the dresser to grab a tank top and shorts to sleep in. Acting as if Colt was not even in the room, I went about my business, setting my clothes on the bed and fighting to free myself from the dress that I’d taken off and on so many times with ease just a few hours ago. Stupid alcohol.

Warm fingers grazed my skin as Colton’s hand appeared at my back, sliding the zipper down my dress. My whole body quaked at his touch, traitorous bitch that she was. I closed my eyes and visions of he and Lyla on the couch came back, making it easier to ignore his effect on me. I slipped the spaghetti straps down my arms, allowing the dress to pool at my feet.

Colt’s breath hitched behind me, and I ignored that too, taking my time to cover the breasts I could feel him staring at. I was just drunk enough not to care that he was seeing me naked. After slipping the top over my head, I bent to step into my shorts and nearly fell on my face when there was a loud thud. My head jerked up at the sound, finding Colton kicking and punching the door.

Had I not been so inebriated, I probably would have gone to him and attempted to soothe his anger. As it was, I couldn’t give two shits about his feelings. On second thought, maybe the alcohol wasn’t so stupid after all. “You about done with your tantrum yet?” I snapped, climbing in between the cool sheets and resting my head on his feather pillow.

The noise stopped, probably due to his shock over the lack of fucks that I had to give. Maybe I should drink more often. I kinda liked me drunk.

Colton’s face turned and his bloodshot eyes locked on mine.

“Get in bed or get the fuck out. I’m drunk; I’m tired; I’m horny, and I’m fucking done. Got it?” I was so proud of myself for not shedding a single tear.

His green eyes narrowed to slits, and his jaw ticked. Colt stared at me for a long moment before nodding his head, grabbing his clothes, and closing himself up in the bathroom.

I tried like hell to fall asleep before he returned, to no avail. When I heard the telltale clicking of the bathroom lock, I laid deathly still with my eyes shut tight. I didn’t move a muscle as he entered at the foot of the bed and crawled up to lay beside me. I bit my lips to keep from crying with a broken heart when I felt him snuggle into my back and his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. And I swear that I stopped breathing altogether when I felt his lips press a kiss on the back of my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Allie,” he whispered into the silence.

Sober Allie would have cracked. But drunk Allie...she had her fucks on lockdown tonight.

Long after Colton passed out, I laid awake in his arms with silent tears pooling beneath my face and the scent of Lyla’s perfume lingering on his skin.