ALEXIS (AGE 18)

I HAD JUST FINISHED adjusting my cap and pinning it into place with a few bobby pins when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. My heart leaped in my chest as I rushed to open it.

He was so beautiful. I took a moment to look him up and down. His vibrant eyes and gorgeous smile. That white-blond hair peeking out from the sides of his cap. How’d I get so lucky?

“Dean!” I squealed, rising up onto my toes and wrapping my arms around his neck. “I can’t believe we’re graduating.”

He smiled. “You look beautiful, Alexis.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Dean and I had been together for almost a year now, and he still made my heart flutter. I thought that I was doomed to spend my life pining after Colton Fowler until I met Dean. This past year had been a fairytale. I had the perfect boyfriend. He was kind and attentive, and he made my heart dance. He was all of the things I thought I’d never find.

My phone pinged. It was Colt’s message alert. I disentangled myself from my boyfriend and padded across the room to check my phone. It was a picture of the two of us on our first day of kindergarten. A smile moved across my face as a tear dripped from my cheek to the screen.

Colt: We did it, Al. Yay!

Allie: You made me cry, ass. I love it.

Colt: Sorry, Allie. See you soon.

I hugged my phone to my chest, smiling like a fool. I’d completely forgotten that my boyfriend was even in the room.

“Must’ve been some message...What’d Fowls want?” Dean asked with a sour look on his face. I hated that the guys all called him that. Dean knew it too. Colton was a brilliant basketball player, and his jealousy was unbecoming.

“Nothing,” I answered, smiling. “Let’s go.”

We walked hand in hand down the stairs where my parents, along with Dean’s and Colton’s, were waiting—all three of our mothers with cameras in hand.

Colton walked in a minute later, and they ushered us all out to the front yard to snap a million photos.

After Dean and his parents left, Colt grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the oak where our mothers had photographed us together on the first and last days of every school year. Tears pricked my eyes as we laced our fingers and smiled at our mommas, ending a lifelong tradition.

“I’m going, Al.”

No. “I’m sorry, what?” I asked, trying to make sure I’d heard him correctly.

“I’m going to California...to play ball. It’s a full ride and a great opportunity. I can’t pass that up.”

“But I thought you said you were going to take the offer from Texas State?”

He shook his head. “I have to go...Please don’t be mad, Al.”

My lip trembled. I couldn’t help it. I swore I wouldn’t make him feel guilty no matter what he chose, but he was choosing wrong. I dropped his hand, backing away, my head violently shaking from side to side. “No.”

“Alexis, don’t do this to him,” my father warned.

I looked up at his sparkling green eyes, and it was all too much. Just...too...much...

“I’m sorry, Allie,” he offered in a broken whisper.

I looked around at all of our parents, who’d obviously already known and were just waiting for me to fall apart.

“Shitty timing, son,” Mr. Fowler growled at Colt.

“Alexis, it’s time to go,” Momma called, motioning with her head toward the car.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I continued to stare into my best friend’s anguished face. He reached out his hand to touch my cheek, and I recoiled. From his expression, you’d swear I’d just shoved a knife into his chest. Good. Because fuck him for springing this on me before graduation. We were supposed to stick together. That was always the plan. He didn’t get to call the shots.

“Let’s go,” I rasped, ripping my gaze from Colton’s.

I avoided Colt for weeks. It was childish and just plain stupid, but I was hurt and scared. And truth be told, I didn’t know how I’d manage life without Colton in it.

He texted me every day...and I left those messages unanswered.

Colt: Hey, Allie. I miss you, and I’m really sorry. Love you.

Colt: Still not talking to me? Wow, I never thought I’d witness the day when Alexis Mack had nothing to say.

Colt: It’s been two weeks, Al. I’m dying here.

Colt: I’m fucking sorry, okay? I miss you so much. Don’t do this to us, Al...

Colt: I’m leaving in the morning, Allie...

Allie: It hurts, Colton.

Colt: I know. Believe me, I know.

Allie: Why?

Colt: I just have to.

Allie: This sucks.

Colt: I miss you. Can I come over?

Allie: It’s 2 in the morning.

Colt: So?

Allie: Guess so.

I didn’t bother getting out of bed to let him in. Colt had had a key to the house for as long as I had. I lay awake in bed staring at the door, just waiting for him to walk in. It hurt to breathe, I missed him so much.

Just when I’d started to think that he’d changed his mind, the knob turned, and the door creaked open. He walked in with his head hung, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. And as he got closer to the bed, I saw on his face that this separation had been just as hard on him.

“Colt,” I whispered tearfully.
“Can I?” he asked, waving his hand over the bed. He’d never asked permission before. That he wasn’t sure whether or not he was welcome tore me apart inside.

I nodded. “Of course,” I rasped.

He crawled in from the foot of the bed, and when his head reached the pillow, Colton hugged me from behind, burying his face in the crook of my neck. He feathered light kisses along my collarbone, up the curve of my neck, and the side of my face, until he reached my ear. “I’m sorry, Allie. I’m so, so sorry.” I felt the wetness of his tears on my cheek, and the warmth of his breath on my ear caused a shiver to move through my body. I began to shake as my emotions took over.

“Colton,” I cried. “Don’t...go...”

“Come here, Al.” He grabbed my chin, turning my face until my eyes met his. “I’ll miss you every day. Every. Single. Day.”

My head shook as tears blinded my vision.

“God, I want to kiss you so bad,” he groaned through clenched teeth.

And I wanted it too, more than I’d ever wanted anything else in my life. “Then kiss me, Colton.”

He bent his head until his lips hovered just above mine. “You sure, Al?”

I nodded—just barely—then felt his lips brush against my own. It was soft and slow, and blew every other kiss I’d ever had out of the stratosphere. When his tongue entered my mouth, it was more intimate, more meaningful than any sexual encounter I’d ever experienced. I couldn’t even fathom what sex with Colton Fowler would be like if kissing him was this good.

We kissed ourselves to sleep and morning came far too early for either of our liking. We’d finally got it right, and he was leaving. Life was a bitch that way.