BRENNA

A million alarm bells clamor in my brain. If I had been thinking straight, I would have stopped him before things had gotten this far. But for one perfect moment, it is just like old times. Seconds pass, possibly an eternity, as our kiss continues.

His fingers dig into my scalp, tilting my head back, owning my mouth. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know I need to tell him to stop, but the kiss…it is everything I’ve dreamed about and so much more.

His touch sets me on fire. All the unrequited need I’ve been carrying around for years spills out. Years. I’ve waited years to feel exactly this, and now that he is here in my arms, it’s better than I remembered. The scent of him surrounds me, bringing back memories.

He breaks away and presses his lips to my ear. With a groan, he murmurs, “I’ve thought about this moment for eight years. Dean will understand.”

He moves back to my lips, resuming his exploration, but his words filter through my hormone-induced delirium.

Dean. Fuck.

“Stop,” I say, and with every ounce of willpower I possess, I pull away.

His arm slides around my waist, pulling me back in.

“Stop,” I demand, pushing him before we go too far. Guilt washes over me. Before? We’ve already gone too far. “What was that?”

“That was a kiss,” he said, moving back in.

“We can’t do this,” I say.

“I thought this is what you wanted,” he says, understandably confused. I mean, I was practically dry humping him just a few seconds ago.

“I do. No, I did.” Shaking my head, I try to clear the fog of lust. Nervously, I lick my lips, the taste of him still there. Damn it. I push him away and slide off the table. “But things are different. I’m with Dean. I can’t… I won’t be that woman. You had your chance. You’re the one that said you couldn’t do this again.”

“Well, I was wrong,” he says, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “I still hadn’t figured out how I felt, and then you go and fall into bed with my brother. Damn it, Brenna. Why didn’t you wait?”

“Why didn’t I wait? Why didn’t I wait! Did you really just ask me that?” Anger flashes through me like a wildfire. He starts to speak, but I hold my hand up to stop him. “No, Tyler. It’s my turn to talk. I waited eight fucking years for you,” I say, pushing him hard. “I waited so long.”

“What do you mean you waited? You’re the one who left, not me.”

“I already told you the reason I left. You were supposed to come after your dad got better. I waited for you. When you didn’t call, I reached out. But you’re the one that wouldn’t take my calls. I emailed you. I even wrote you a fucking letter. No matter the setback, I waited, hoping one day you’d forgive me. And then you finally tell me to my face there’s no hope for us and I decide to move on, you have the fucking nerve to ask me why I didn’t wait. Well, fuck you.”

I pound his chest with my fists. It feels good to unleash my rage. I raise my fists to hit him again, but Tyler grabs my wrist.

“What are you talking about?” he asks. “I never got a call. I never got a single email or a letter.”

“But your dad said—”

“My dad? Don’t you see? He manipulated us.” Still holding my wrists, Tyler pulls me into his chest. “If I’d known how to reach you, I would have. If I’d known where you were, I would have followed.”

The truth of his words hit me like a freight train. I always had my suspicions. It was the reason I kept trying. That blatant manipulation by his father was the main reason why Tyler wanted to leave home. My heart ached for our younger selves, but it doesn’t change our present.

I finally understand what Tyler meant the last time we talked. I can’t do this anymore, either. It’s time to let go. It’s not his fault I held onto a stupid fairytale. And it’s not my fault he pushed me away when I returned.

What is my fault is letting him kiss me—kissing him back—while I’m seeing Dean.

I step away from him, and with the back of my hand, wipe away the tears that are now falling. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I’m sorry all of this happened, but we can’t change the past.”

“But we can move forward.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do. With Dean. I won’t do this to him, and I’m not going to lie. I’m going to have to tell him about this kiss.”

It was more than a kiss, and we both know it. When Tyler’s lips met mine, I lit up. He nearly brought me to orgasm while our clothes were still on and I want him to do it all over again. I need time to process this.

“And what about us?” he asked. “Are you willing to give up?”

With a sigh, I pick up the signed comic from the table and hand it to him. “We had our chance. I think it’s time we both move on.”

He opens his mouth as if to argue, but instead, takes the comic and leaves, Luther trailing behind him. It feels like a part of me has just been ripped out of my chest when the door closes. The door opens again and my heart rate increases, but Landon walks through the door.

“What was Tyler doing here?” he asks. “And why are you both soaked?”

I take a deep breath and paint on my everything is normal face. “He was helping me with some boxes.”

Landon glances over to the table. “Did he give you some comics? Tyler has a sweet collection.”

That hole in my chest rips into a gaping chasm. Why did he lie about the stupid comic books? Because he doesn’t want that connection with you, a voice in the back of my head chimes in.

Then why did he kiss me?

Kiss or no kiss, there’s no going back. The only thing I can do now is move forward.

* * *

Dinner at Dean’s is a disaster.

Dean texts to tell me he’s running late, and I don’t have a chance to talk to him. So here I am, sitting next to the man I’m sleeping with and across from the man I kissed this afternoon. I can’t talk to Tyler. I can’t look at Dean.

That kiss hovers over me like the sword of Damocles. I have to confess, but family dinner with my little brother doesn’t seem like the appropriate time.

Half-way through the meal, Landon stands up. “This has been really awkward. I have homework, so I’m going to leave.”

I want to call him back. Hell, I want to go with him. But it’s probably for the best that he leaves.

“Is something going on? Is Landon giving you trouble again?” Dean asks. “I could try to talk to him. Or maybe Tyler can.” Dean turns to Tyler and asks, “Has he said anything to you? Is he upset that I’m dating Brenna?”

“I don’t think that’s the problem,” Tyler says.

I can’t stand it anymore. I turn to Dean and take a steadying breath. “I kissed Tyler this afternoon.”

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Tyler says from the other side of the table. “I’m the one that kissed her.”

“I didn’t stop you. At least, not at first,” I say. “And I’m so sorry. It’ll never happen again.”

“I don’t care who kissed who. Just tell me what happened,” Dean says, grabbing my hand. He’s surprisingly calm for just finding out his girlfriend cheated on him.

I lick my lips and quickly glance over to Tyler, trying to decide where exactly to start. “Luther knocked me down, and I dropped my boxes. Tyler felt bad and helped me upstairs. We were just talking about the past, and I gave him a comic I’d picked up for him a while ago. I don’t know, I think some unresolved feelings got dredged up. It shouldn’t have happened, and I’m sorry.”

“Unresolved feelings?” He narrows his eyes and frowns. “Have you two figured those feelings out yet?”

“Yes,” I say at the same time Tyler says, “No.”

Dean’s hand freezes on my leg and narrows his gaze at Tyler—who just shrugs as if it isn’t a big deal. His gaze returns to me, and he brushes his fingertips over my cheek to catch a stray tear.

“Why are you upset, sweetheart?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed him. I’m in a relationship you,” I say, sniffing. “He may have caught me off guard, but I did kiss him back. I’m so sorry.”

Tyler clears his throat. “I’m sorry, too. But this is Brenna we’re talking about,” he says as if that excuses everything. “I was in love with her first.”

“That was a lifetime ago,” I say, shooting him a death glare. How dare he? How dare he talk about love when he wouldn’t even speak to me a few days ago?

I don’t understand why he is doing this. If he would have just talked to me instead of pushing me away, then maybe things would be different. But now that I’ve finally moved on, I’m not willing to give up Dean on the off chance that Tyler wants me back.

And do I really want to be with Tyler?  It’s been the dream for so long. But it’s just that, a dream. The relationship I have with Dean is real. He’s smart, funny, and caring. I’m in love with him. It’s different, sure, but no less intense than what I feel for Tyler.

“If that’s true, then why did you kiss me back?” he shoots back.

“It was one kiss,” Dean says, taking my hand. “And then she confessed right away. I’m willing to let it go because you’re my brother and I know how appealing Brenna can be.”

I squeeze Dean’s hand. I know how hard this must be for him. And as bad as I feel, the fact that he believes in me, believes in us, warms my heart.

“I want to be with her and Brenna wants to be with me too,” Tyler says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to end up like this.”

“That may have been true before, but she’s here with me, Tyler,” Dean says standing up. “You’re the one that let her go.”

“Hello?” I say, waving my hands in the air to get their attention. “Has it occurred to either of you to ask me what I want? Tyler, can you give us a second? I think Dean and I should talk about this alone.”

“I’m not leaving,” he says, getting up and making his way over to the armchair in the livingroom. “Not until we figure this out.”

“So you want to stay and watch us make-up? Watch as I kiss her? Touch her?”

Dean slides a hand up my thigh. I grab his arm to halt his progression and frown. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out where Tyler’s comfort zone is on this,” he says, shooting his brother a look. “What all of our comfort zones are for that matter.”

Dean leans down and kisses me. His lips are soft and gentle, so unlike the needy, raw kiss I shared with Tyler. But then he deepens the kiss and every nerve in my body sings to life. He sucks on my bottom lip, and I groan.

Tyler is watching me, watching us, so intently I can feel his gaze like a physical caress. The mood in the room shifts. Dean's hand travels further up my thigh, and I pull back, confused as to what’s going on.

I look back and forth between the two of them. The two guys are having some kind of silent conversation that I’m not privy to, and I shift uncomfortably in the chair, feeling left out.

“What exactly are you asking me?” I say, breaking the silence.

Surely, he’s not suggesting we make out while Tyler is watching. It’s a ridiculous notion. What purpose would it serve? The last thing I want to do is make Tyler jealous, but I can’t deny the heat that’s thrumming through my veins as he watches.

Dean sits back on his heels and looks up at me, narrowing his eyes. “Tell us what you want?”

“I’m here with you,” I say. “If I didn’t want that, I’d tell you.”

“I believe you. But you share a close connection with Tyler. There’s nothing I can do to change that. But I’m not willing to give you up. I’m in love with you, Brenna.”

“You are?” I breathe, not sure what to make of his confession. Does he really mean it, or is this a reaction to the kiss?

“Of course, I am. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, even though you almost kicked me. But Tyler is in love with you, too. So I propose we add him to our relationship.”

“What?” Both Tyler and I say at the same time.

“We’re at an impasse. This is always going to be an issue. So like any other problem I might face, I tried to come up with a solution that will work for everyone. If you are with both of us, then everyone wins. What do you think?” he asks me directly, but all I can do is stare, mouth hanging open.

“Brenna?” Tyler says from across the room. “You’re being really quiet.”

“Did you guys talk about this?”

“No, but Dean is right. I can’t let you go again.”

I shake my head, trying to wrap my brain around the idea. They don’t really mean both of them…do they? Two sets of eyes are watching me, waiting for some kind of answer.

“I can’t do this right now.” I stand up and grab my purse from the table.

“Wait,” Dean says from behind me. “Don’t go.”

I spin around to face him. “I need space to think.”

“Forget it,” Dean says and grabs my arm. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just thought—”

“It’s not that,” I say and kiss him. “When you kissed me, and Tyler was watching, I didn’t know what to think, but it felt different. I’m confused, and I’m not sure what to think. Please, just give me time and space.”