BRENNA

 

I type out the words and erase them a thousand times.

I know I overreacted the other morning, but not without merit. I’ve rearranged my entire life so I can be a good guardian for my brother. I refuse to change what I’m doing for a man or men. I’m not my mother. I won’t throw it all away for an affair.  

But that doesn’t mean I want to break it off with them. Especially, not after that incredible night. So, after I cool down, I decide that I need to talk to them both, but only after Landon leaves on his holiday band trip. He’s going to be gone for a week, and during that time, Dean, Tyler and I have to figure out how to make this work.

God, please let us figure it out.

I wasn’t lying to Tyler. I do want them both. Even now, the thought of being with the two of them makes my heart race and my pussy wet. But I need to set boundaries.

Instead of sending a lame text. I call Dean.

“I’ve missed you.” The rich tone of his voice washes over me. It never fails to put a smile on my face.

“It’s only been two days,” I say and quickly add, “I missed you, too.”

“You should talk to Tyler. He’s been a complete ass since you left Saturday morning. He’s convinced you’re going to disappear again.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry. When I forgot about Landon I just—”

“I know, sweetheart. But you know we both love that kid. The last thing we’d ever do is ask you to choose between him and us.”

“I know. But how are we going to handle this? It was hard enough when it was just the two of us. What am I going to tell Landon?”

“We’ll do whatever you want. Right now, we don’t have to tell him anything.”

There’s a loud knock on the door, and I frown. There’s security in this building so there aren’t many people who could be at the door at noon on a Tuesday.

“Are you at work?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’ve got a full day, but I can stop by after if you want.”

“What about Tyler?” I ask, heading to the door.

“I haven’t seen him, but like I said, I’ve been busy. I can transfer you if you want to talk to him.”

“I don’t think you need to. I’ve got to go.”

My stomach does a flip. I’m not sure I’m ready to face Tyler. I was a bitch to him after he’d been so great.

The knock comes again, a little louder, and I cross the room to answer. But instead of finding Tyler at the door, Liv is standing there in all her six-foot-two, stiletto wearing, mop of curly red hair glory, holding a suitcase.

“Liv, what are you doing here?” She pushes through, without answering and drops her suitcase on the sofa. “What no hug, no kiss?”

“You don’t deserve these lips,” she says and crosses her arms over her chest.

Rolling my eyes, I go over and pull her into a bear hug. “I’ve missed you, so much.” Unexpected tears sting the back of my eyes, and I sniff. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you, too, sweetie.” She finally hugs me back and the tears I’ve been fighting break free. “If you missed me this much, you should have called. Or at the very least, answered one of my half-dozen texts.”

“I’m sorry,” I say and wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. “I’ve been meaning to facetime you. It’s been crazy here.” The realization that Liv is here, standing in my living room finally hits me. There has to be something wrong. She wouldn’t fly halfway across the country just for a hug. “Is everything okay? Is there a problem at work?”

“Everything’s fine,” she says, slipping off her heels. “But I was worried about you. Last I heard, you were off to have a wild threesome with your two uber-hot neighbors. When you didn’t return any of my calls, I could only assume that you’d fallen into a sex-induced coma and needed my help.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you knew about that.” A hot blush creeps up my neck, and I stare down at the floor unable to look her in the eyes.

“Yes, I know about it,” she says and wags her finger at me. “And how dare you leave me hanging. So now we are going to sit and talk face-to-face, like civilized women. Grab a bottle of wine, and tell me which guy has the bigger dick.”

“You are incorrigible,” I say, but go get the wine.

I survey the wine cabinet, debating whether I should pick a white or a red. Which is the appropriate pairing for talking sex and day drinking? I finally decide on a white, figuring you can’t go wrong with a fruity Chardonnay, and head back to the living room with two glasses, feeling a hundred times better.  Knowing I have a friend to talk this out with makes everything feel less scary.

I pour us both healthy glasses, and I tell her everything.

“Wow. My baby’s growing up so fast,” she says, wiping fake tears from her eyes.

“We’re the same age,” I remind her.

“In years, maybe. Emotionally, you’re a good ten years younger. At least, you’re finally catching up.”

“I’m so glad you approve,” I say, pouring myself another drink. “But I’d much rather have your advice than your smart ass commentary.”

“How about both?” she replies and blows me a kiss.

I settle back into the chair, nursing my wine, and get straight to the point. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Really? I got the impression you knew exactly what to do. And if you’re confused, it sounds like your guys are more than willing to give you instructions.”

“I don’t mean about the sex,” I say, shooting her a frustrated glance. “I can’t date two guys. Can I?”

“Why not? From what you tell me, the guys are more than willing to give it a go, so what’s the problem?”

“Normal women don’t have two boyfriends,” I say, exasperated. She’s acting like this kind of thing happens every day. “What am I supposed to tell people?”

“First of all, fuck other people. And secondly, there’s no such thing as normal. You’re not hurting anyone, so I say do what makes you happy.”

“But what about Landon?”

“What about him?”

“I’m responsible for him, and this thing with Dean and Tyler is distracting me. I left him at a friend’s house while I fucked two guys. I’m pretty sure that makes me the worst.”

“You overslept,” she points out. “And just because you missed one pick-up doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned him. Cut yourself some slack. Besides, he’s almost thirteen. He doesn’t need you twenty-four-seven. You can have a life.”

“But—”

“No,” she says, holding up both hands in a stop gesture. “I’m not going to let you do this. I’ve watched for years while you turn away one guy after another because of some misplaced guilt over leaving Tyler. I know you kept hoping he’d come for you. Well, girl, your prince has come.” She reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I get it; you’re scared, but I refuse to let you screw this up. Listen, sweetie, I know how your warped brain works. Don’t let the past screw with your head.”

Deep down, I know she’s right. I am scared. I’m scared I’m just like my mother, choosing sex and money over family. I’m scared of getting hurt. But most of all, I’m terrified of losing not just one, but two people I love.

“Okay,” I say with a nod of my head, “I’ll talk to them, see what we can work out. Landon is still my priority, but you’re right, I can take care of him and still have a life.”

I need to figure out how to fit them in my life. A family dinner is a good start. If this still works without the sex, then there’s hope. I take out my phone and send them both a text asking to come over tonight after work. I’m not at all shocked to receive two messages back right away asking when.

“Does this mean I get to meet your two studs?” Liv asks.

“They're coming over tonight for dinner. Just promise me you’ll be on your best behavior.”

“Always,” Liv says with a wink. Suddenly, I have a bad feeling about this.