BRENNA

 

I don’t know what I was thinking last night when agreeing to go out with Dean, but here I am in an upscale steakhouse, sitting across from my neighbor, trying to keep a panic attack at bay. The hushed murmur of polite conversation reminds me too much of a funeral parlor, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I order a white wine, but what I really want is a couple of shots of tequila to help soothe my nerves.

I like Dean. I like him a lot. But I’m not sure what I’m doing with him. I glance over the menu at my date, and he smiles back. My stomach does a flip, and I attempt a flirty smile. But that doesn’t feel right, so I try for a seductive wink. I’m pretty sure I’ve missed the mark when Dean cocks an eyebrow in confusion. My cheeks heat and I hide my face in the menu.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I haven’t dated. Not seriously. Liv tried to set me up a dozen times, but not a one got farther than drinks. I’ve spent the last eight years comparing every man I met to Tyler. Over time, I built him up in my mind as this perfect guy. No one really had a chance.

But the funny thing about reality is that it’s never as good as your fantasy version. Now that I know Tyler doesn’t have feelings for me—hasn’t for years—there’s nothing holding me back. I’m twenty-six years old. I’ve already missed out on most of my prime dating years. If Liv was here, she’d tell me that it’s time I let go of the past and live in the moment.

“So what did you do before you moved back home?” Dean asks, breaking our awkward silence.

Nerves flood my system like a swarm of butterflies. I can do this. It’s just small talk.

“I work in internet security. I have my own company,” I say, relaxing a bit. “The nice thing is, I can work anywhere. My partner has been keeping up with the day-to-day business for now, but once things settle down, I’ll start taking on more clients.”

“Internet security? What does that mean? Do you help people when they have viruses?”

“I work with big companies mainly. We check for vulnerabilities in their websites and internal networks,” I explain. “I’ve got a great team of hackers that simulate an attack and try to steal data or take control of servers.”

“You’re a hacker?” He asks, leaning forward. “Your mother was a socialite and your step-dad a neurologist. How’d you get involved with the dark underground of the internet?”

“Dark underground?” I laugh, nearly choking on my wine. “You watch too much TV. Most hackers aren’t criminals. It was just something I picked up over the years. When my dad was sick, I didn’t get out much. I used to sit in his room with my laptop chatting on forums. I met people and learned things. Then after he died…” I let out a deep breath and take another drink. “I wasn’t exactly great company. I spent a lot of time online. I discovered I had a knack for getting into places I wasn’t supposed to be, so I made a career out of it.”

We spend the next fifteen minutes talking about my job and my company. When the waiter interrupts us with our meals, I realize we’d been talking about me this entire time. Small talk was never my strong suit.

“What about you?” I ask. “Why law school?”

“My mom says I was born a lawyer.” He smiles, and his eyes soften when he mentions his mom. “I used to debate her on everything. I guess I was a natural.”

“Are you still close to her?” I ask. Since my own relationship with my own mother was strained, I love hearing about other people’s families.

“Growing up, it was the two of us against the world. We used to look out for each other.”

“Used to?” Of all people, I should realize that life isn’t a guarantee. I feel like I’ve failed at small talk. “I’m sorry, is she gone?”

“Not in the way you think. She has a house down in St. Thomas. I visit when I can and, of course, help with mom’s charities.”

Relieved that I didn’t misstep with the family questions, I decide to stick with questions about work. “Do charities need a real estate lawyer that often?” I ask.

“Every now and then, but I mainly handle contracts and the occasional bachelor auction.”

I can just see Dean going out with an older socialite to raise money for some charity. I’m sure he would be just as attentive and polite as he is with me.

“So how long have you work for Hart Properties?” I ask, unable to resist.

His playful smile falters, and he furrows his brow. “You do know who I am, right?” he asks.

“Is this a trick question?” Now it’s my turn to get a funny look. “I’ll play along. Who are you?”

“I’m Robert Hart’s son.”

“No, you’re not,” I say, confused and a bit uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. “Robert’s son is Tyler. And your last name is Preston.”

“I’m his step-son,” he says and then adds as if I’m slow, “I’m Tyler’s step-brother.”

I feel like someone kicked the chair out from under me and I’m falling. I grip the table to stop the room from spinning. "You can’t be,” I say and search my memory for any record of Tyler’s step-brother. I try to recall a name, a photo, anything. “Oh, my God, you are. You’re the step-brother? The brother in college? Not that you're in college now. You’re a lawyer. And living here now. I didn’t know. We never met. How was I supposed to know that you moved in? I mean, you and Tyler didn't really get along."

"We didn't know each other back then,” he says. “We're actually really close now. We share the penthouse and run Hart Properties together."

"Of course, you do,” I say, my mouth going completely dry. I grab my wine glass and drink the contents in one swallow. “Roommates. Because that makes complete sense. Why wouldn't you be best friends?"

"Tyler said you stopped by last night. He told me you used to date,” Dean said, carefully. “If you’re worried about what he thinks, don’t be. We talked about it, and he’s fine with us going out. Are you?"

“Yes. I mean, if he’s okay with it, then why wouldn’t I be?” I say with forced levity. “We dated ages ago. So long ago I can hardly remember.” Sweat is forming on my brow, and I feel like I’m going to be sick. Of all the guys in the word. The air is thick, and I need some space. I stand up abruptly and grab my purse. "I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

“Brenna,” he calls out to me, but I don’t stop. I make a beeline for the bathroom and dial Liv as soon as the door closes.

"I need you to break into the Black Diamond Steak House's security system and set off the fire alarm," I say as soon as she picks up.

"I take it the date is not going well?"

"Dean is Tyler's brother."

"How did you not know that?"

"They're step-brothers. Dean was away at college and rarely came home. I only met him once."

"Does he know that you and Tyler were a couple?

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. I need to get out of here."

"Of course it matters. If it doesn't bother him, it shouldn’t bother you. You promised me you were over Tyler,” Liv said. “At least, tell me if he’s hot."

"Yes, but—"

"No buts. You need to move on with your life, Brenna,” Liv says, a little softer.

“I know. But I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Screw good idea. Actually, no. Screw him. Literally. Take him home and ride him like a bronco. You're not looking for forever. Just a distraction. That is unless you lied to me and you're still not over Tyler."

“I’m over Tyler,” I say, trying to convince myself as much as Liv. “But Dean isn’t some guy. He’s Tyler’s brother. It doesn’t feel right.”

“Step-brother,” Live reminds me. “Listen, sweetie. Dean is like eating dessert before dinner. It’s naughty. You know you shouldn’t, but all that sticky sweetness just calls to you. Do something naughty for a change.”

"You are no help at all," I grumble under my breath.

"I love you, too. Have fun and use protection."

Liv hangs up, and I’m left there with no other option than to go face Dean. Maybe she’s right. Tyler doesn’t care so why should I? Because I’ve been in love with him for years and being with his brother seems wrong.

He’s fine with it.

Dean’s words keep echoing in my head. One summer. I was with Tyler one intense summer eight years ago. It’s obvious that that time meant more to me than it did to him. I can’t keep letting a man who doesn’t want me ruin my love life.

I have a guy out there who wants me. At least, if I haven’t scared him off with my crazy outburst and sudden departure. Tonight, I’m going to shut off my brain and follow Liv’s advice.