Chapter 5
Wading Through the Aftermath
The pair walked in silence for a while, both focused on their thoughts as they cautiously sought an escape. Cora kept her attention on trying to find a way out so that her guilt about their current situation wouldn’t get any worse. Occasionally, she would let her eyes dart toward Emery, and a new wave of shame would crash over her. Once again, Cora had been directly responsible for something terrible happening – and this time it was far worse. She knew exactly how everyone would react, and it was almost too much to take. It was getting to be too difficult to pretend that everything was alright, or that everything would be alright. A part of her wanted to just stay there and let it all be over. The problem was that if she gave up, it would be pretty much a death sentence for Emery. As much of an ass as he had been, Cora didn’t want to be responsible for him dying.
Fortunately, this wasn’t her first time dealing with a crisis, not by a long shot. While Cora had never been trapped underground before, she had been trapped in buildings on two separate occasions. Once the building was crumbling after a mud slide, and the second while it was on fire. It was true that she had never been alone trying to help others – one of her parents or Jason was always around, but there was no point in dwelling on what she lacked because she couldn’t change it. Making do with what you have was one of the most important things to keep in mind when dealing with an emergency – something that she suspected Emery already knew. That was all the more obvious with each of her stolen looks at him. Cora had noticed that he kept holding onto his side and grimacing when they had to step up or down, but he kept it quiet so that she wouldn’t know he was hurting. He was clearly trying to minimize her problems so that she could focus on getting them out. That was all the more concerning if he had the kind of night vision he claimed to have. How much faster could they go if he weren’t so badly injured? Her concern kept growing, but she had to come up with a way to convince him that she could help before something worse happened. She hadn’t gotten a good look at Emery’s injury because he had been very adept at hiding it. Cora’s greatest concern was that she had seen a good amount of blood, and the covering that he had put over it didn’t seem to be nearly as tight as was needed to keep him from bleeding to death. She had no way to do a transfusion, and no way to know if their blood was compatible if she did. Still, Cora was already trying to come up with some way to do just that if the need arose. She carefully picked their path and tried to think of a way to finally get him to let her do something to help.
Emery focused on not passing out from the pain. He managed to keep his discomfort quiet as it was obvious that Cora felt bad enough for the turn of events. Not that he felt any better about his role. He had been far too harsh for all the wrong reasons. Based on the information that Silas and Ryland had given him, Emery had formed an incomplete picture of Cora that turned out to be missing several huge chunks. Her optimism and cheerful nature had taken on a completely different meaning knowing what she had been through, at least a couple of key experiences that colored her disposition in a completely new light. As complicated as his family was, it was nothing compared to what she had been through with hers.
Well, not nothing. But I grossly underestimated her. The thoughts went through his head, giving him something else to think about (other than the excruciating pain) as they worked their way through the middle of the mountain. Serves me right for being so smug in my assessment of her. Just how much is she hiding and why? That last question kept coming back to him because it made no sense that Cora would hide that kind of experience from Silas, not if they were as close as Silas seemed to believe. There was a reason to hide it, a reason why she acted so happy, and he was now incredibly curious why.
He watched the woman walking slightly in front of him and couldn’t help but feel admiration. As much as he, Ryland, and Silas had been through for the family, only Ryland was faced with a crushing sense of responsibility. Ryland’s parents hadn’t expected him to end up leading, so he wasn’t really properly prepared for the job he found himself in, but at least he had been an adult when it happened. His parents had protected him from the kind of life most child stars lived, ensuring that Ryland always knew better than his peers – that made it so that he could assist Alaric. Still, it had been a pampered life. Obviously Cora never had that as her parents expected her and her brother to be useful from an early age. How old was she when she first had to deal with a crisis? And here I thought neglect was the worst of her history. From the way Jason had protected her, Emery had thought maybe she had attempted suicide, that feelings of abandonment by her parents and then grandparents had made her feel compelled to act happy so that others wouldn’t leave her. The idea of her attempting suicide seemed ridiculous now, at least for the reasons he had originally expected. It was true she wasn’t particularly careful, but he no longer believed it to be because she was actively trying to get herself killed. He suspected that it was much more likely that she had simply learned not to fear death.
Cora stopped and held out a hand. “Wait a minute.”
Emery pulled his attention back to the present situation and squinted. His voice was low as he asked, “What is it?”
“I thought I heard something. It sounded a bit like… I’m not sure, but it wasn’t the same as the oppressive silence we’ve experienced so far.”
Emery listened for a moment. “It’s water. There must be an underground creek or stream nearby.”
Cora gave him a look. “How can you possibly tell?”
Emery shrugged, “Experience.”
“Do you often get lost in caves?”
“No. Usually I’m not lost when wandering around them.”
Cora frowned, “So you go spelunking?”
“Not at all.”
“You aren’t going to say, are you?”
He simply looked at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the cave. “My family likes to go out camping, and they favor caves.”
“As opposed to campers and tents?” Cora looked incredulous.
“It makes more sense for us.” His eyes searched around the darkness to their right. “We can go check it out to see if the water is clean. I seriously doubt it, given our location, but it won’t hurt to see.”
“It might lead us out, too.”
Emery shook his head, “No, it leads down and there is a really steep drop-off. I seriously doubt there will be any way for us to follow it.”
“You have got to be making things up.”
“Come on.” He waved her to a path that she had missed with her light. “I will lead us, but please turn off your light.”
Cora’s initial reaction was to argue with him, but she fought the urge and reached up to switch it off. Almost as soon as she did, Cora’s foot struck something and she stumbled.
“Oh, right, sorry.” Emery’s voice was close by as she kept herself from falling down. “Um, here.” Cora felt a hand wrap around hers and she pulled away at first. “I’m not in any state to do anything to you. I’m just trying to speed us up a bit.” He took her hand again, and this time she let him pull her forward. “It would be a good idea for both of us to get something to drink since we didn’t touch our water bottles on the last ledge.”
“We could just drink from them now.”
“We could, but we don’t know how far in we are or how long it will take to get out. If we end up trapped down here for a few days, we are going to want to make the water last as long as possible.”
“I don’t have anything to purify water. Or anything to make a fire, for that matter.”
“Don't worry about it. I can take care of both if we need it. It would be best to be careful in case, but for now I’m going to think that we will make it out today. If we don’t…” his voice trailed off, but to Cora it didn’t sound like he was hinting at anything. In the darkness, she watched as he seemed to slump over for a second before moving forward. He did it so quickly she almost didn’t notice that they stopped walking.
Determined to find some way to get him to stop, she agreed to work their way to the source of water. It should be easy to get him to sit down and then she could try to see about his injury. “Let’s focus on finding the water for now and seeing if you are right about it not leading out. Pessimism and doubt are not going to do anything to benefit us, so stay positive. You’ve survived this long, no reason to think that this time will be any different.”
“That's one way to look at it. But everyone will find that one experience that they don’t survive.”
“True, but as long as you keep fighting, you have a chance of surviving, no matter how small. Might as well focus on that.”
Emery paused, then asked a question that had been bothering him as he gently pulled her along, “And how many times have you had to think that way to survive?”
“Enough.”
“So you don’t want to answer the question?”
“I don’t want to talk about it any more than you want to talk about whatever it is your family does every year.”
“Oh, I don’t mind talking about it, and if you are going to keep pressing, I may as well just do that. But I feel it necessary to warn you before starting that you aren’t going to believe me.” He stopped and turned his head toward her a little. “And if you say anything like ‘You could have just said you don’t want to talk about it,’ you will owe me.”
“As long as you are being honest, why would I say that? Okay. You want to hear about one of my experiences first, keep going, and I’ll tell you. But you have to swear you will tell the truth.”
She felt Emery squeeze her hand a little. “It’s a deal.” He fell silent as he led her forward and waited for her to talk.
Cora took a deep breath. “Jason and I have been taken on ‘family vacations’ five times. Not all of them dealt with crises, but usually they did. My parents are… not normal. I don’t really know what they do, but pretty much the only time they spend with us is when we go on these trips. And they want to make sure we grow up to be responsible members of society. They love the fact that Jason is working on becoming a specialist of some sort in the medical field. I never bothered to ask him about it.”
“Why not?”
“What is the point in knowing? It will just lead to us talking about other things that I don’t want to talk about. He doesn’t understand why I don’t want to go into medicine, but he only presses it when we talk about what he is doing. Well, I should say that was the way it used to be. We don’t really talk much at all now. This is the first time I’ve seen him in a year and a half, and we’ve only talked about a dozen times since then. When his girlfriend dumped him. I tried to get him to take a break from school and work, but he refused, and pretty much disappeared into it.”
“He was avoiding talking then.”
“No, he just found it easier to work than to hurt. That’s why he went into the medical field. It gives him purpose and makes him feel like a useful member of society, just like Brenda and Jake wanted.”
“Who are Brenda and Jake?”
“Oh, our parents.”
“You don’t call them Mom and Dad?”
“God, no! Why would I? Jason is the closest thing I’ve ever had to either, and at this point it’s really not fair to be a constant drain on him. I was hoping he would spend more time with me because… I don’t know, I thought I could finally be there for him.”
“But he refused to use you as a crutch and pretty much disappeared from your life.”
“Yeah. It stings that the only time he pays any attention to me is when he thinks he has to act like a parent. I’m not a child and I don’t need him to be anything more than a brother. He’ll come when Silas asks, but not when I ask. It’s a messed-up relationship, and I miss having a brother to do things with.”
“You still have Silas.”
There was a slight chuckle, “Yeah, but we don’t even live together anymore. I might ‘cramp his dating lifestyle’ so he found a place of his own.”
It was Emery’s turn to laugh. “That sounds like him. But I think it is for the best that you guys don’t live together.”
“And why is that? After almost a decade, why is it suddenly good for him to live on his own?”
“Miss him?”
“Of course I do! He is a fantastic cook, and I hate being in the kitchen.”
Emery laughed again, this time ending with a slight groan. Cora ignored the groan for now as she willed her eyes to see him better in the darkness. Emery spoke, “You don’t think you miss him for some other reason?”
He could almost hear Cora rolling her eyes. “I don’t know why people keep coming back to that. I am as attracted to Silas as Jason, and I know that he feels the same way.”
“And how do you know that?” He wasn’t about to tell her that Silas had expressed just as much disgust at the idea of being with her.
“Because we talked about it when we were in high school. People made fun of us for always spending time together, so it seemed natural that we would see if they were right.”
That was a lot more than Silas had told him. Emery frowned into the darkness, “So you talked about it?”
“We did a little more than that. We tried kissing a couple of times, but it wasn’t enjoyable at all. Besides, for all of his brains, he’s far too immature. He’s helpful around the house, but in terms of a relationship, that boy is going to take a completely different kind of woman.”
“What if you told him about your experiences? He might look at you differently.”
“Oh, I’ve no doubt he would. Everyone would. That’s ample reason to keep it to myself.”
“You do realize that staying quiet is hurting you.”
“And you have to realize that talking about watching a six-year-old kid die because you didn’t act fast enough isn’t something that a person wants to relive with someone whose greatest problem is finding a date.”
Emery was silent for a moment as he processed her words. “What if he has dealt with more than that?”
“Are you saying he has?”
“No, but you don’t know if you don’t ask him. He certainly doesn’t have any idea about what you have been through.”
“Silas is about as difficult to read as a brochure. He wears his life and feelings on his sleeves, and there is no reason to complicate that with guilt.”
“Your guilt?”
“No, the guilt he will feel if he found out about what I’ve been through. He’s got no point of reference by which to compare his experiences against mine. Silas will change the way he treats me if he knows, and that is the last thing I want.”
Emery wanted to argue with her, but he knew Cora was right. “Silas is still a sweet kid who really hasn’t been through much. But if you never tell him, then you are doing him a great disservice.”
“I disagree. I think that I am helping to keep him safe a little longer because he doesn’t really know that much about the world at large.”
“Can’t argue with you there. I just feel bad that you don’t have anyone to talk to about your problems. It makes you a ticking time bomb, and that is why your brother is so worried about you.”
“Thank you, Doc, but I don’t see how it is any of your business. I love the way Silas treats me now and I don’t want it to change. Not yet.”
“I think you guys would make a cute couple. And he could help you through things.”
“Why are you so keen on getting us together?”
Emery paused and considered it. “I guess because you guys have always been so close. What better person to love than the person who knows you well?”
“My brother knows me better. Maybe I should try to get with him?”
“That’s a rather gross thought.”
“Yeah, it is. And I feel exactly the same way about Silas. He’s sweet, and I want to protect him. But I don’t want to have to spend all of my time protecting the person I love. It would be nice to actually have someone who can help me for a change, without that person trying to be a parent to me.”
“Oh, ah. Yeah, I guess I can see your point. It must have been rough not having parents around.”
“When I consider the kind of time I have with them when they are around, I really don’t mind not having them.”
“So are you going to actually tell me about one of the crises that you survived?”
“There’s the sound again!”
Emery stopped walking and listened. It was strange that Cora was noticing these things over him since he had pretty much been raised to notice, but he had been lost in the conversation. “Oh, I can actually see it. Step up here. It’s a rather deep recess and I don’t want you to trip.” He tried to hold his hand up to guide her over the dip in the floor, but found it hurt too much. After a deep intake of breath, he bit his lip and tried to help her the rest of the way over.
“Where can we sit down?”
“The water is right over there. Do you need to sit?”
“No, you need to sit down.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know. Just sit down for a minute because I’m going to take a look at it.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea.” Emery took them to a spot near the water where they could sit.
“So, you have something that can clean the water?”
“Hold on a second.” He dropped her hand and walked over to a small pool. After a few moments of silence, he turned to look at her. He watched her for a moment as Cora tried to look around the cave. Knowing she couldn’t see anything, a small smile creased his lips. Shaking his head, he told her, “This is actually clean.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“It’s one of my skills.”
She sighed, but didn’t argue with him. “I’ll use some of my water, but I’m going to clean you up a bit.” Without warning, she turned on her light. Emery automatically covered his eyes, leaving the wounded area obvious. “Holy shit, Emery! What the hell happened?”
His hands dropped to his side and he tried to cover the large blood stain on his shirt. “That was a dirty trick.”
“You idiot. Sit down.”
“No, I really don’t think–”
“Look, genius, you don’t have enough pressure on it, and you are bleeding out. It may be best to just stay here for a bit and have you lie down. What’s your blood type?”
“We aren’t a match.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Actually, I do.”
“I have helped with blood transfusions before, so I think–”
“Cora, I appreciate what you are saying, but we aren’t the same blood type because we aren’t the same species.”
Cora stopped talking and stood still. Emery’s dark eyes were staring at her, calculating her reaction, and she felt almost like it was a test.
“You don’t have to lie. If you don’t trust me just say so.”
Emery sat back and smiled. “And I said if you said anything along those lines you would owe me.”
“What?”
“I told you that you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Are you saying you are an alien?” She gave him a look of annoyance. “Because I already know that your relatives are human.”
“No, actually they aren’t.”
“Bullshit.”
Emery sighed, “I only tell you this because the best way for me to heal is to not be in this form. Since you have seen how serious it is, I may as well shift so that you don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t scream.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I think you have lost too much blood and–”
Her voice died in her throat as Emery tilted his head to the side and pulled at the wrapping on his stomach. Suddenly his face elongated and his body became huge.
Seconds later Cora was looking at a massive brown bear.