The evening couldn’t have turned out better. Julien massaged her sore muscles as she rested against him on the sofa. Details of his lifestyle included a relationship he wanted to enjoy with her and flowed as naturally as his caresses.
“Keep in mind, Adara, you have complete control in setting limits. I’ll probably know when you’ve reached one before you do. I’ll never push you further than you can tolerate. This can be anything we want, take any direction we both agree on. But understand, I am a Dominant, and I’ll be fairly strict.”
“You mean like with all the kneeling and stuff?”
“Hmm, that’s designated for the bedroom, club, or small play parties with our friends. Though I’ll reserve the right to dominate you anytime the mood strikes. Again, I’ll respect your limits.”
The our friends had a nice ring to it. As for the rest, she could adapt. Her mind had difficulty reconciling the man who spanked her ass at the club with the one who held her so tenderly.
“Also remember, Adara, I don’t want to change you. You’re perfect the way you are. This isn’t about molding you into another person. It’s about giving and receiving control, and trust.”
“Actually, Sherri explained a lot last evening. Plus, I came to realize that embracing the lifestyle doesn’t make me weak. I think she’s strong and intelligent. It seems to be more about preferences.”
“Yet, something’s troubling you. What is it?”
“Um, you always seem to know what’s going through my mind…” She frowned as she tried to figure out how to voice her concern. “Last night at the club, when Nate spanked Sherri, she didn’t look humiliated, just turned on. That would’ve embarrassed me to death.”
“Which is why Nate did it, and I wouldn’t. You didn’t see him take her into a theme room afterward, but you did see her later. There’s a big difference between stimulation and abuse. How did you feel after I spanked you?”
She couldn’t look him in the eye, couldn’t grasp all the tumultuous emotions long enough to define them. The bottom line—it excited her, plain and simple.
“Adara?” With a finger under her chin, he brought her gaze up.
“Aroused, after I got over the fear and shock.”
“I would never do anything for the sake of humiliation. That’s not taking care of someone, it’s cruelty.”
His gaze warmed her heart.
“How about wearing the clothes I picked out for you?”
“That was embarrassing—the first night. Though when I went back it didn’t bother me near as much. I actually felt sexy, till my uncle and cousin showed up.”
“Though I wouldn’t explain it beforehand, it entailed desensitization. See the difference?”
“Why not before?”
“Several reasons. Primarily, I expect you to have confidence in me, and believe what I do with you is for your benefit. I will never debase you. You are someone I deeply cherish.”
“Oh, I understand.” Again she looked away, unable to meet his gaze.
“And?”
She couldn’t answer.
“Adara?”
The voice that brought an instant response—she knew the consequences and understood his motives to help her. “I was just thinking about—before. With my uncle and cousin.”
Enfolding her in his arms spread the cosseted feeling throughout. She felt the light brush of his lips in her hair.
“You can tell me. We need to talk about this until it’s all out.”
Her grief took physical form in dampening his shirt. It wasn’t the first time she’d cried and wouldn’t be the last.
Lifting her gaze to meet his, he said, “Adara, you need to talk about these memories, take away their power to control you. Do you know how many times you cried out in your sleep last night?”
“It’s just—Uncle Tony passed me off to a his friend when he was drunk.”
* * * *
Adara’s soul-searing grief broke his heart and hardened his resolve. To hell with the legal system. It would never dispense justice even though such criminals endured a more difficult and painful jail time. His own form of justice would fit the crime. The legal system could have them afterward, once assured they could never rape again.
The detailed plan forming in his mind spread a grin across his face even if the end result would give Adara doubts about his sanity.
To see her embrace his lifestyle kept him in a constant state of arousal. He wasn’t a sadist and would forgo the heavier aspects of impact play but realized he’d chuck it all to have Adara in his life. They existed as a perfect fit, whether she realized it or not. The seven year age difference was not an issue.
Given the time to adjust to her new life and self-esteem, she’d be strong enough to stand toe to toe with him even if she didn’t feel it yet. Being her first true lover filled him with a sense of pride. She belonged to him in every way.
Anyone with her history would erect walls around their heart after surviving her ordeal. He’d breached most but not all of them. There existed in her a quiet hesitancy, a final barrier she refused to eliminate. If he couldn’t transcend it, she would never truly be his, regardless of her submission.
Scooping her up once again, he took her to bed and with gentle hands, undressed her. After he shed his own clothes and lay next to her, she snuggled next to him, content to cuddle, skin to skin. Tonight, she needed this and nothing more, providing time to sort the confusing thoughts and emotions racking her mind. She had a lot to ponder.
The chirp of his cell phone snatched him from a deep sleep. It took two tries to swipe the screen to connect the call. “Hello?” The clock on the nightstand showed the time just after midnight.
“Julien? It’s Lieutenant Collier. There’s been a break-in at your office. Do you want to come down or should I call one of your brothers?”
“Uh, no, I’m closest. I’ll be down in twenty minutes. How bad is it?” With the workload carried by the PI firm, it was inevitable to accumulate a list of people, someone caught cheating on their spouse, stealing, or some type of fraud, who retaliated in some juvenile way.
After disconnecting the call, he gazed at Adara, sound asleep. The office was close—he could be back within an hour. He’d let her sleep, praying no nightmares crept up from the bowels of her subconscious. The note on his pillow would assure her if she woke, and Nika would protect all within her domain. After dressing and grabbing his keys from the nightstand, he ushered the shepherd on the bed to sleep beside her.
“Evening, Collier. Julien addressed his one-time military teammate with a disproportionate anxiety. The hair on his nape stood, the nonverbal prick at his conscious spreading a cold dread throughout his chest. The childish aspect of the misdemeanor brought to mind Adara’s family. They should be in custody.
“Looks like someone busted the windows just to set off the alarms. I did a walk through, didn’t see anything disturbed. I see your files are locked, but you’ll have to go through them and see if anything’s missing.”
“Okay, that’ll be tomorrow’s job. For tonight, I’ll need to get someone out here.” The call to a local company assured a security guard would be there within several hours. The windows they could fix first thing in the morning.
“Collier, could you send someone to check on my home? Adara’s alone there. I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this.”
“Sure, no problem. I can post someone out front till you return.” Turning aside, Collier listened to the squall of the radio before assigning an officer to the task.
“Do you think this is her family’s work?”
“They haven’t been picked up, yet?” He looked around, rubbed his forehead. It was just—all wrong.
“Haven’t found them yet. The department hasn’t had previous dealings with them in particular. Arrest warrants are standing, but they may know of them and be in the wind. Do you think they’d use this as a distraction to get to her?”
“I didn’t assess them as that smart.” Seconds passed as Julien replayed prior interactions in his mind.
The officer’s radio crackled with static before the disembodied voice brought Julien’s worst nightmare to life.
“Lieutenant, I just pulled up at the address you gave me. The front door’s busted in. Alarm’s going off. I’ve called for backup and am going in to have a look around.”
Again, Julien’s cell rung, he hit ignore, knowing it was someone from the home’s security system calling. Icy ephemeral fingers squeezed his chest, giving way to a rage that clouded his vision. A setup. “Shit. They’ve got her. The sonofabitches have taken her.” Unreason flooded his brain while anger seethed and fed his waking nightmare. He ran for his car.
The prick of an uncle would kill her to avoid prison, and Julien had issued the invitation. Jesus, history was repeating itself on a nightmarish reel. He’d never been a religious sort, yet prayers issued forth as his car fishtailed off the lot.
Her bastard family stood little chance of beating the charges if she lived. Their hands had been forced, and he’d painted a bullseye on Adara’s head.