Detailed threats raced through Adara’s mind to spread a chill with the thought of Julien tangling with her family. They played dirty.
Each mile driven and each bend in the road granted her stygian imagination open license to conjure horrific accounts of Julien’s death. By inviting him into her world, she’d committed the ultimate sin. Selfishness had never numbered among her shortcomings.
Conner’s matter-of-fact manner in accepting her phone focused her attention on how the brothers covered each other’s backs and worked together.
“What if they target you instead? Maybe I should’ve just thrown it away.” Helplessness riveted her gaze on Julien, so determined to set her free.
“Then they’ll get a lot more than they bargained for. Don’t sweat it, Adara, Conner can take care of himself.” Julien’s assurances held the confidence associated with his demeanor.
On the road again, Julien engaged her in small talk while acid razed her stomach lining and seared the back of her throat. The fresh start of her dreams hadn’t included fear and apprehension.
New asphalt negated extraneous tire noise along the coastal highway while scenic views once beheld with appreciation passed without notice. The diamond-studded sky blended with the ocean at the horizon, all the mysteries held tight in quiet expectation. Sooner or later, her family or stalker would make their move, and she wouldn’t see its approach. Considering Julien’s background, she prayed he would.
“Here we are.” Quiet words drifted off into a lengthening silence, as if waiting for her approval. Julien slowed to make the turn.
“Wow. You said you lived in a beach house.” More like beach mansion. When the car rolled to a stop, she closed her eyes for a brief prayer.
A seaside location, along with the home, fit Julien’s personality. Diverse landscaping included lavender, gazanias, and a sprinkling of roses decorating the front flowerbeds, their bright colors muted by the blanket of night. Their soft fragrance drifted to her as she followed Julien toward the side door. On a deep breath, she tried to match nature’s serenity.
Intermittent low-voltage solar lights around a garden bench provided a cozy night retreat in the secluded oasis while more led to the home’s backyard. She’d figured him to be too busy to deal with such details but should’ve known better. It seemed no item escaped his notice.
“Tomorrow, I’ll explain the security systems so you don’t feel hemmed in.”
“Thank you again for your help.”
His warm smile equaled the polar opposite of her uncle and cousin’s poor facsimile, while Simmie’s grin concealed a cache of secrets and condescension she never wanted to explore. Still, thoughts of what Julien might ask for in return slowed her pace.
“Adara. What are you thinking…right now?” His countenance stern, he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and held out his hand. If she hadn’t seen the same expression imposed on others, she might’ve turned tail and run.
Instead, she took his hand, trusting in the instincts that guided her to divulge her darkest secrets. Her other hand fingered the necklace received on her fifteenth birthday, an intricate locket in the shape of a gardenia. She’d never been able to open it. Her parents had told her they’d show her its secret on her sixteenth birthday, which they didn’t live to see.
Unable to meet Julien’s gaze, she shivered in the strengthening offshore breeze. “Um, just hoping I’m not too much trouble.” He seemed to know what thoughts prowled through her mind at any given time.
“For a second there, you seemed far away. Now you’re back to just worrying. What is it?”
“Um, really.”
“The only thing I insist on is honesty. There has to be complete honesty between us at all times. Okay? That is the only thing I ask of you. Now. What were your little gremlins stirring up in that busy mind of yours?”
She closed her eyes tight, knowing she’d tell him the truth. “I’m afraid you might want something I don’t want to give. Not like I’m all that but, well, you are a man.” Regardless of their methods, all men sought one thing. Some wanted the additional perk of inflicting pain.
“Ah…you think I’m going to ask you for sex? Though I find you intriguing on many levels and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, I won’t ask for anything you don’t want to give. I believe no means no, and I don’t force women to do anything. You are no more prepared for a relationship than a nun.”
“Beautiful? I don’t think so.”
Stepping closer, he smiled, then caressed her cheek with calloused fingers. Calming energy radiated from his touch, enfolding her body in a warm emotional blanket. Leaning into his caress as he cupped her cheek felt natural. The sounds of the night stilled and she let the bliss of the moment fill her soul. When a nearby tree frog broke the spell, her eyes snapped open and he moved away. The surreal interlude left her shaken.
A nautical brass knocker hung front and center on the heavy Palladian door that opened on silent hinges. After punching in the security code, he turned to face her. “Let me show you to your room. I have some spare clothes you can sleep in. Tomorrow I’ll take you shopping.”
“Um, Julien? Since I haven’t shown up at home, my uncle will call the police and report me missing, probably pointing a finger at you. And what if my stalker comes here?”
“Don’t worry. Got ya covered. See, like my brothers, most private investigators used to be cops or in a related field. It’s a business where everybody knows everybody. Anyway, they know me, and you’re of legal age. If your family follows you from work, they’ll know you’re here and I’ll deal with them. Don’t let it worry you. As far as your stalker, you’ll be safe with me. We’ll get his identity and deal with him. I’ll see about stepping up security tomorrow.”
“Do you think the stalker could be the beachside killer?” According to news reports, the victims were all beautiful, rich, and socially active. There was no reason to target a private investigator’s assistant unless he knew of her inheritance. Again, her gaze surfed the perimeter where shadows coalesced and held tight to its secrets. The breeze finger combed her hair, swirling it over her face and further denying the benefit of discerning the night’s mysteries.
Again he held out his hand and she took it, then let him lead her inside.
“Highly doubtful, Adara. But you will be safe, regardless. Okay?”
“Okay.”
* * * *
Indecisiveness never burdened Julien’s conscious thoughts. Like his brothers, he knew what he wanted when he’d bought his property and built the house. Security, at the time, wasn’t a big concern. He’d revisit the issue and take whatever precautions necessary.
The fact her family had abused her posed a challenge, baggage to unpack, justice to mete out. It was a challenge worth accepting. More than that, he wanted her free from the inhibitions, fear, confusion, and frustration, read in her gaze and body language. Beautiful, intelligent, kind, she’d be strong after dumping the toxic karma intertwined with her soul.
She flinched when he closed the door.
“Are you hungry? You didn’t eat much dinner.” He paused in the foyer, allowing time for her to gain her bearings.
“No, thank you. Wow. This balustrade is beautiful, so intricate. Did you have it custom made? The complexity of the curves and hollows is so intricate. It belongs here.”
Tilting his head to the side, he studied her. “Yep. I oversaw the details of construction, at least the ones I didn’t do myself. I’m sorta good with my hands.” He smirked as a blush rose in her cheeks. He’d not intended to bait her, only raise her awareness of their mutual attraction. As they continued up the stairs and through the upper hall, he marveled at her refined and classy demeanor. “This is your room, there’s an attached bath I hope you’ll find comfortable.”
French doors opened to a balcony with a water view to the end of the world. Massive furniture was reminiscent of an old world setting while coffered ceilings containing hidden lights provided soft lighting. Wrought iron wall sconces cast cozy lighting on either side of a large, stone fireplace, a room fit for a queen.
Tension seeped into her shoulders and stiffened her posture as she looked around.
He stood within three feet of her and a bed. Her fears were obvious—and unfounded.
“Wow. This is beautiful. Are you sure?”
Her hesitation at accepting something nice tightened his gut. Unlike himself, she came from money, yet shied away from anything other than basic necessities. Everything he’d observed and surmised pointed to a young woman with stunted emotional growth soon after puberty’s arrival.
“All yours. The bed is a queen size, so it should be long enough. You can try it out and see, if you like.”
Her blush deepened when she glanced at the bed. Ornate, metal scrollwork set in wood panels covered the headboard and footboard.
“The scrollwork is beautiful. This is wonderful.” She didn’t test it.
“My room is right next door if you need anything or want to talk.”
She froze, her face blanched.
“Adara, what are you thinking? Right now.” He used his Dom voice.
“Um, nothing. It’s just a beautiful room.”
“Adara, I will not force or coerce you to do anything, sexual or otherwise. Understand? You are perfectly safe here.”
“Oh, I believe you, and I thank you so much for your help.” She didn’t meet his gaze with her emphatic response.
“Adara, look at me. Now.” Her gaze jumped to his immediately. He didn’t see fear, he saw terror.
“What were you thinking just then? Remember—total honesty.”
“Um, I don’t want to make you mad. It’s so stupid, really.”
“Adara?” His voice carried a hint of frustration.
“Um. All right. I have to admit I’m just a little bit afraid.”
“Why, Adara?”
“Well, it’s just that I’ve never been alone with, and this close to a man and a bed without being forced to do something—bad.”
Shit, he was several feet away. “I see. Well, this is a good time for some desensitization. How about I stand next to you for five minutes and not touch. Okay?”
Widened eyes and jaw dropped to an O shape further defined her response. “Uh. O-okay. I can do that.”
When he closed the distance until her puffy breaths wafted against him, she shrank away.
“Adara, you are perfectly safe. Do not move. You can learn to feel safe around men, learn not to fear them. In the office, every time I get near you, you either flinch or recoil. At first, I took it personally, but then realized you reacted the same way with all men. You don’t have to feel that way.”
The pulse in the base of her neck beat to a fierce rhythm while her breathing became rapid and shallow. He’d never seen a woman tremble with so little provocation. In his mind’s eye, he beat the shit out of her uncle and cousin.
With her arms wrapped tight around her waist, she resembled a little lost waif. He prayed she didn’t get light-headed to the point of losing the ability to stand. A bit of color drained from her cheeks but not to the point of bleached white. The object of the lesson was to take steps forward, not catch her as she dropped.
“Do you need to sit, Adara?” The rhetorical question used to assess her continued awareness inspired a moment’s guilt, but like the antiserum to treat certain bites, he directed her thoughts to the fringes of her fear to begin a process of desensitization. It was a process he’d had success with in the past. If, in the end, she took her new confidence and left, he’d have a clean conscience.
The anticipated glance at the bed induced a shock-like syndrome before looking back at him.
“N-no! No, I’m fine.”
Seconds felt like hours while Julien mentally castrated her uncle and cousin. He watched her from his peripheral vision, trying to focus on the far wall. Within a few minutes, she appeared to calm, her breathing and pulse slowed. Stiffness drained from her posture as she focused on her surroundings. Again…progress.
Finally, color returned to her cheeks.
“Adara, what are you feeling now?”
A small grin played about her lips.
When he slowly raised his hand, her gaze jumped to his fingers as he guided both to his face. “Here.”
It seemed her emotions had run the gambit.
“Adara?”
“Please, I don’t want you to be mad.”
“The only thing and I do mean the only thing that could make me mad is for you to lie to me. Either straight out or by omission. Understand?”
“Yes, Julien.”
“Well?”
“Um, well, at first I was scared. Then…I realized you’re not going to…hurt me. You’re testing me.”
“Partly right. And now?”
Her blush deepened and she swallowed hard before moistening her lips with the tip of her pink tongue. Her weight shifted from one foot to the other as her hands clenched on her waist, as if holding back a beast that clawed to get out.
“Um, now? I’m not sure. I haven’t felt this before. It’s like scared, yet in a different way. I like it. Not like you’re going to hurt me or anything. I remember sitting in your lap, both at the office and in the car. You didn’t hurt me then either. In the office, I was scared to death until you massaged my scalp. In the car, I wasn’t scared of you—just about explaining my circumstances. You’re using a type of behavioral therapy to replace fear with a relaxed response.”
“And?” He prompted.
Intelligence and confidence shone from her gaze.
“Do I have to?”
“Adara.”
“Okay.” She groaned. “I feel—I don’t know—excited, I think. Are you mad?”
He was stunned she felt a positive emotion, much less admitted it. “Mad? Not at all. Feelings are not something to be mad about, they simply exist, though I am glad you’re owning them. This is good.”
“How can I feel like this? I don’t even know you.”
“Adara, you’ve known me for six months. We’ve worked together every day, discussed trivial things couples would cover in months of dating.”
“But, I’m not used to this…” Using her hand to gesture between the two of them, she couldn’t hide the confusion she radiated.
“You know—I feel the same way.”
Her eyes widened farther. “You do?”
He needed to end their interlude and give her time to process. Baby steps. “It doesn’t mean I have to act on those feelings. As I’ve said, I won’t force you to do anything. And I think you’ve learned enough for your first lesson.” He took two steps back and watched her gulp a deep breath, stifling a sad grin with difficulty. Almost twenty-one and her first stirrings of desire…
“My first lesson? There’s more?”
“Oh, definitely, if you’re interested. Let’s discuss it downstairs where you’ll be more comfortable.” With that, he turned on his heel, but not before noting her confusion, again. Well, good. Let her absorb and dissect the encounter and see what she thinks. To use their mutual attraction was manipulative. The fact she admitted to it proved a major step in the right direction. There still remained a long way to go. Each journey consisted of individual steps.