Dammit. I spent the whole night and morning psyching myself to go talk to her, to find out if it’s her, Ev, and she showed up with this blond chick. What do I do now?

I march back inside Damage Control and find Seth sweeping the floor, dark head bent over the chore. He has some Native American blood in him, just like his cousin, Shane, who’s also an apprentice here. His tattoos climb his neck, the most impressive one a snake—the design Zane inked on all of us strays, the ones he and Rafe took in. The Damage Boyz, as they call us.

Seth, Shane and Jesse don’t pay for their apprenticeship—of course not, none of us have any money to our names—but they clean the shop while learning the craft.

I step around Seth and into my booth. I sit on my stool and swivel around.

“Hey, Micah.” It’s Ocean, the other tattoo artist. I often wonder if he dyes his hair blue to match his name. “Going out for beers tonight at a new place nearby, Halo. Hear of it?”

I close my eyes and rub by face. “Nope. Look, I got work to do.” Bullshit, I’m still on a break, but so what.

“Well, Shane and Jesse will be there,” says Ocean, who can’t take a fucking hint. “Seth says he’ll swing by, too. Wanna come?”

I shove my fingers into my short hair and sigh. “Maybe another time.”

“Come on, buddy.” Ocean grins widely. Yeah, nothing can get the sunny boy of Damage Control down. “You never meet with us.”

“I’m not sociable, okay?”

“Come on. We’ll play pool and hang out, and then we could—”

“Hey. Ocean.” I lift a hand, my patience fraying. “Not tonight, all right?”

“Sure, man.” He turns away, so I’m not sure I hear his next words correctly, but it sounds like, “Just don’t shut out your family.”

Shit. I lean against the counter after he’s gone. Didn’t realize I was shutting anyone out. Maybe I should meet the guys tonight. Maybe...

Ev.

Who cares who she’s with? I need to see if it’s her.

I shoot out of my seat, and I’m out of Damage Control in two strides. My open jacket flaps as I cross the street, making a beeline for the donut shop.

Only the two girls aren’t sitting at the bench anymore. I peek inside the shop, then down the street. The hell? I wasn’t gone for so long, was I? Will I miss my chance once again? It was only yesterday I ran after her, calling for her, but she never turned around.

I catch glimpse of a slender girl rounding the corner, maybe fifteen yards away. I hesitate, but the slight limp gives her away, and I run after her. My combat boots thump rhythmically on the sidewalk, faster and faster, as I weave between passersby and pound down the avenue.

Where is she?

Slowing down, I look around but can’t see her. “Fuck!” I turn in a circle, tugging on my short hair.

I set off again, pushing through a throng at a burger stand and then a bus stop. What the hell? She was right ahead of me. With her limp, she can’t go fast. I pace up and down, cursing, and have to stifle a cough. My lungs feel tight.

Useless. She’s vanished into thin air. Could be a sign I should let this go. It probably isn’t her, and even if it is, no reason to butt into her life.

Fuck this. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I turn around to go and brace against the cold wind.

Then I see her. She’s not even ten feet away. Dressed in jogging tights and a long hoodie, she’s hurrying away from me. For one fleeting second, she glances over her shoulder, right at me, and I see stark fear in her eyes.

Fuck. She’s afraid of me. Of course she is. I’m acting like a goddamn stalker, watching her, going after her. I lift my hands and shake my head, taking a step back, then another, bumping into people.

But she’s not looking at me anymore. She darts forward, her ponytail flying. My eyes narrow when I see her stumble.

Damn. Without a second thought, I sprint after her, closing the small distance in a heartbeat. She’s going down, her knee buckling. Making a grab for her arm, I manage to snag her sleeve and hold her up. Time stops, stretches like toffee, and my whole world shrinks around my hand that’s keeping her from falling and her whiskey-colored eyes, huge in her pale face.

Fixed on me.

I stare back. Is it her? Is she Ev? Suddenly, I’m unsure. My memory is hazy. The eyes... That’s all I really remember, but can I trust a mind that was burning with fever?

Finally, I gather my wits and haul her upright. Her hand flexes, and she grips my arm in a surprisingly strong hold. Her other hand closes around a fistful of my shirt that peeks through my open jacket, and she winces as she straightens.

She won’t look at me now. I need to see her eyes again. With a fingertip I lift her chin, and swallow hard. I open my mouth to speak her name, but she beats me to it.

“Who are you?” she whispers.

I’m speechless. She’s so pretty—her mouth wide and soft, her cheeks flushed, her eyes so bright they burn into me. I slide my other hand around her, to the small of her back, feeling the sweet curve of her hips and her slim waist. She smells of flowers.

I bow my head. Only an inch separates our lips. “Micah,” I whisper. “I’m Micah Owens.” Are you Ev?

But before I say it, my wild run catches up with me, and I start to cough.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

She pulls away as I double over, hacking. At the hospital, the doctor said this might happen—the shortness of breath and coughing. I’ve been out of the woods for a good six months now, but the cough persists.

I wipe my mouth on my sleeve and find her hand on my other arm. Her expression has turned into one of concern.

“Are you all right?”

I nod as I straighten, panting. “Just a cold.”

She frowns but seems to accept my explanation. Her hand releases my arm and rises to my face. I freeze, completely out of my depth—and she touches my cheek, lightly, the sensation barely there. It makes me shudder with longing.

“Micah,” she whispers my name.

She bites her lip, and it’s so distracting I lift my hand and caress her mouth. It’s like the essence of a cloud, unbearably soft. I’m suddenly struck with a breathtaking need to touch my mouth to hers and see if she tastes as good as she smells.

I bend my head, so very close to her, and draw in her smell like oxygen. Roses? Jasmine? I’m not sure, but it’s intoxicating. Warm skin and freshness and one hundred percent beautiful girl.

She pulls back, her gaze uncertain. “Why were you watching me?” she asks.

It jolts me out of my trance.

Fuck. “You remind me of someone,” I rasp.

She studies my face for a long moment, and I wonder if she sees the truth. Then she sighs. “I have to go. I’m late.”

I want to slap myself upside the head. “Wait...”

She steps back before I get a chance to try and save the situation. “Bye, Micah,” she says softly as she turns and hurries toward the bus stop.

“Will you be back tomorrow?” I call after her. “At the donut shop?”

She doesn’t answer as the bus arrives with a squeal of tires, and she climbs in, vanishing into its darkness.

* * *

Seth comes into my booth after work and cocks a dark brow at me. “Ready?”

“For what?” Sitting on my stool, I stare morosely at the mess on my working station. I know I need to clean and tidy up before I leave Damage Control, but can’t find the energy.

That girl is scared of me. She probably thinks I’m a crazy stalker. And I still haven’t had a chance to ask her name. Dammit.

“Come on, man.” Seth pushes dark strands of hair off his face. He wears black studs in his earlobe and silver bars in the shell of his ear. “Alzheimer’s already? Beers. Pool. Tonight.”

“Beers,” I repeat, the words slowly sinking in. Now I remember Ocean telling me about it. “A new bar nearby. Halo.”

“He remembers! It’s a miracle.” Seth squints at some drawings for tattoos I’ve pegged to the cardboard walls of my cubicle. “Coming?”

“Don’t know.”

“Big fucking surprise,” Seth hisses and turns to go.

“What the hell is your problem?”

He turns, his dark eyes flashing. “My problem?”

Shit. “Hey, man. I just...” I rub the back of my neck. “Fuck. I just don’t feel like it tonight, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay.” He jabs a finger at me. “You’re all broken up over a chick you don’t even know. Seriously, man? Come have a beer with your bros. It won’t hurt, I swear.”

That’s how I find myself nodding sheepishly and following Seth out of Damage Control, because he might be intense and in-your-face, but this time he’s damn right. I need to leave this girl alone, whoever she is, get my head out of my ass and spend some time with my brothers. They have my back, and I’ve got a lot more in common with them than with a hazy memory.

We share nightmares and night terrors. We share a damn shitty past and a frail present, with a sliver of hope for a future. And that sliver is like glue, holding our pieces together. Tying us in an inescapable bond.

The bar isn’t far from Damage Control, just a few streets down. The sign flashes over the entrance, the word HALO inside—what else?—a yellow halo of blinking lights.

How fucking original.

At least the inside is more somber and run-of-the-mill. Black stools at the bar, low tables and chairs. Beer logos are projected on the far wall, changing colors, but otherwise, the lights are dim.

Someone shouts our names, and we make our way in the half-darkness. The flashes illuminate faces, bodies, gestures as we walk by the tables lining the wall. We reach the bar, and Ocean gets up from his stool and clasps hands with Seth. He lifts his brows when he sees me.

“I’ll be damned. Look what the cat dragged in.” Ocean grins and grips my hand in a bone-crushing grip, pulling me toward him and clapping me on the back. “Glad you made it, buddy.”

I frown, trying to pull away, but then the others gather around us—Shane and Jesse, raising their beer bottles in my direction.

In fact, Jesse presses a chilled bottle into my hand, and I take it. He pumps fists with me, and his clear green eyes crinkle at the corners as he grins widely. He’s the result of an awesome gene cocktail. Though his eyes are green, his skin is like coffee with milk, and his smile is so white it’s blinding. Chicks dig it a lot.

When I glance around, I find Seth’s gaze on me. He looks amused. Well, as amused as Seth can possibly look, his thick arms folded over his chest, dark hair hiding his face—but I can tell because he snorts softly and shakes his shaggy head.

“Haven’t seen you at the gym lately,” Jesse says, dragging me to the bar and gesturing at a free stool. “Rafe was asking about you.”

Damn. I’ve been so obsessed with seeing the girl across the street, with speaking to her and finding out if she’s Ev, I stopped all other activity.

“Have you been okay?” Jesse gives me a long look, and I shrug.

“Fine.” On most days I’m okay. The after effects of the disease linger, but I’m getting better.

“Awesome.” Shane takes the stool next to mine and gulps down half his beer. His long black hair is caught at the nape. Silver hoops decorate his ears, from which metal tribal feathers and a small dreamcatcher dangle. “Can’t wait for you to return to the gym, so I get to push your face into the dirt.”

“You wish, asshole.” Rafe has been teaching us self-defense and kickboxing. His friend, Asher, drops by sometimes and helps train us.

“Maybe he’s not done running after skirts,” Shane mutters, deliberately looking at the far wall and tipping up his bottle.

“A specific skirt.” Jesse winks.

Motherfucker. “Shut up.” I scowl at my beer. “It’s not like that.”

“Oooh, I’m scared.” Shane gives a theatrical shiver. “What will Micah do to me if I don’t shut it? My knees are knocking together.”

“Don’t mind Shane. He’s just desperate for pussy,” Seth says from somewhere behind me. “He got carpal tunnel syndrome from wanking off every night.”

Shane growls and gives him the finger.

Jesse chuckles. “Yeah. At least you’re into a real chick, man, not bad porn.”

“I’m not into anyone,” I snap, a bit too loud, and push my beer on the counter. “Cut it out, suckers.”

“Now you’re telling us what we can or can’t say?” Shane fairly snarls at me.

“And if I am?” My fists itch. Maybe a good brawl might take out some of the tension I can feel in my shoulders. “Got a problem with that, asshole?”

This was a motherfucking bad idea. What I want is to stop thinking about her, and they won’t give me a moment’s peace, goddammit.

Especially when Shane curls his lip and says, “Maybe I should go check out this chick that’s got you all twisted up in knots. Say hi.”

Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m on my feet and in Shane’s face, a fistful of his black t-shirt bunched up in my hand. “Back the fuck off, do you hear me? Don’t even think about talking to her. Fucker.”

“Hey, hey.” Ocean materializes next to me, slinging an arm over my shoulders and hauling me back. “Relax, sunshine. And you, guys, drop it. Let’s not chase him away just yet, now that he finally showed up.”

“Not my fault he can’t take a joke,” Shane mutters, returning to his beer. Seth hovers beside him and whispers something in his ear.

“Whatever,” I hiss, shaking Ocean’s arm off and downing the rest of my beer. I lift the bottle for the bartender to get me another.

The bartender asks for my ID, and I shove my fake one in his face. He still doesn’t look too pleased. Not one of us is twenty-one, and I guess it shows. He scowls at me but finally pulls up another beer and slides it on the bar in front of me.

“Drink up,” Shane says, not looking at me. “Can’t wait to whip your ass at pool. Oh and by the way, loser buys the next round. That will be you.”

“Dream on, motherfucker. I’m gonna beat your stupid ass so hard you won’t know what hit you.”

Tension twangs on the air. I can see Ocean opening his mouth to say something, and for once I think it might be good if he does, when Shane snorts and raises his bottle.

“We’ll see about that,” he says and gulps down the rest of his beer. “Come on. Missed you at pool, man. The others suck.”

The release of tension in the air is so sudden I swear my damn ears pop. Jesse and Ocean wander to the pool tables, and I grab my beer and follow. Looks like the evening won’t be a total loss, after all. With the almost-fight, it’s the first time in days I stop thinking about the girl across the street for a while. Shane wins the first game of pool. I win the second, and the evening rolls without more incidents. I have a good time with the guys.

Problem is, I know tomorrow the respite will be over, and my obsession with the mysterious, sweet-smelling girl will return.

* * *

I’m lost inside a city that has to be Madison but isn’t. The shop facades are foreign, the alleys warp into different dimensions. I’m sick. I know I am, but there’s nothing I can do. My lungs are twisted and aching, unable to draw air. I roll in the dirt. The walls melt like toffee, leaving behind them white skeletons with grinning skulls, caught in giant black spider webs.

A hand slips into mine and squeezes. Eyes like warm honey look into mine. “I’m Ev,” she whispers. “Hang on in there.”

But the skeletons grab her and draw her away and she screams as she’s pulled into the spider web and left to die. I twist and force my heavy body to move, to go after her, help her. A shout catches in my throat, suffocating.

“Wake up. Micah, wake up!” Big hands clench on my shoulders and shake me roughly until my eyes blink open. I take in a small room with posters on the walls and a man’s face over me.

Seth. And this is my bedroom. Sweat is drying on my face and bare chest, and my breath rattles in my lungs.

“Man,” he says, shaking his head and standing up, “you have some nasty nightmares.”

I say nothing. What’s there to say? He also has his fair share of bad dreams. I hear him shout sometimes in the night. At least I know he understands.

“What was it this time?” he asks quietly as he steps away from the bed. Arms folded over his cotton-clad chest, he comes to a stop in front of the few sketches I have taped to the wall.

“Same as usual,” I reply shortly.

“The streets?”

I scrub my hand over my face. My eyes itch. “Yeah.”

Better than the other dreams of the group home that leave me feeling sick. At least this one had a good ending.

Seth cocks his head, his black hair hanging over one shoulder, studying my sketches. There are abstract designs and cartoon-like women, and a face I’ve seen in my memory a thousand times this past year. The face I’ve just seen in my dream.

“That her?” he asks.

I ignore the question, hoping he’ll drop it. The sky outside my window is growing light. I groan as I sit up, swinging my legs off the bed. The floor is fucking cold. The air is cold.

“What happened to the heater?” No wonder I’m dreaming of the streets. Although it’s April, it’s still damn cold.

“Broke down again. I’ll call Shane to have a look later.”

The time on my phone reads six in the morning. Fucking hell. We only got home a few hours ago. No wonder I feel like hell warmed over.

Which begs the question... “What are you doing up anyway?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” He wanders away from my drawings and stops at the door of my bedroom. “So what will you do?”

“About what?”

“Her.” He nods toward the drawing as he steps out. “Kill it, or leave it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The fear, man. Talking about fear. You’re afraid to talk to her, why, I don’t know. Kill the fear, or leave it and be done with it.”

He makes it sound so damn easy.

I down three cups of black coffee before my brain can function enough for me to shower and get ready. I decide to go for a run. I need to get back my strength, and the illness took a huge toll on me. It’s only recently I can jog for more than ten minutes without coughing my lungs out and feeling like I’ll never get my breath back. Getting stronger every day.

Kill it, or leave it.

The words reverberate in my head as I run through busy streets and parks and turn back toward the apartment. My footfalls thump to the rhythm of my heartbeat. I climb the stairs and bend over, coughing.

Kill it, or leave it.

I’ll talk to her. So what if she thinks I’m a stalker? I’ll just cross the street and say, hey, are you Ev? Because you saved my life, you know, and I wanna thank you for that.

Lame. Probably stupid. But it might help me sleep better, knowing I did it.

So of course it makes sense, with my rotten luck in life, that the girl across the street doesn’t show up, not this afternoon, or the one after. She’s gone.