I sit at the hospital cafeteria, an empty plastic cup at my elbow, and the remains of my cell phone spread in front of me. This cell is done for. I was hoping it was just the casing that broke, but no, it’s been literally smashed to bits, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to come back to life any time soon.

Fuck. Like I need more shit dumped on me. Ev’s number is in there, and I can’t get hold of it. It’s killing me. Everything’s killing me today.

Goddammit, Seth. My hands shake, and I shove them through my hair. Can’t believe how god-awful he looked, white as a sheet, face and body bruised and bleeding. Can’t believe this happened. I thought this crap was over. I thought the violence was gone from my life. Now all I see flashing through my mind is images from the past, bloodied faces, sneering mouths, raised fists.

Stop it. I tug on my hair to stop the obsessive thinking. This is life. You’re never safe. It’s never over. Get over it.

Hell, I want to punch something. I need to move. I push my chair back and lean on the table to stand.

Someone is walking toward me, a small, slight figure. I blink dazedly.

“Ev?” I whisper.

Without a word, she comes to me and tilts her face up. Fear and concern darken her gaze.

She’s here. I grab her in my arms, wrap myself around her, inhale her scent and the howl that threatens to tear up my throat emerges as a moan. “Ev.”

Slender arms curl around me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I have to clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“And Seth?”

“He’s beaten to hell, but he’ll survive.” Saying the words out loud makes them more real, and I sag against her. “He’ll survive.”

“Your phone,” she says, pulling away and glancing at the table. “What happened?”

I drag her back to me. Can’t bear to be away another second. “I threw it against the wall. The wall won.”

She snorts and lets me hold her. Her hands trace soothing circles on my back, and my heart finally stops its mad pounding.

“Micah…” Her hesitant voice makes me look at her, really look. The fear is still there. Why?

“Tell me. What is it?”

“Did Seth say anything else about his attackers?”

“No. What is it, Ev?”

“Nothing. I…” She takes a step back. “I just wanted to check on you. But you’re fine, so I’ll just go now.”

A buzzing starts inside my head. “You need to go back home?”

She shakes her head.

“Don’t you want to see Seth?”

“No. Not a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Because. I shouldn’t have talked to him in the first place.”

Again this? Ice grips my spine. It’s anger, I realize. Stone-cold anger, the worst kind. “Why the hell not?”

She flinches but stays her ground. “He was on the streets, and I shouldn’t—”

“Tell me right now, what’s wrong with people who’ve been homeless? You think you’re better than them?”

She takes several steps back, her face paling. “Please, don’t do this,” she whispers.

“Do what?” I follow, towering over her. The buzzing fills my ears. I feel as if my skull will explode from the pressure. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Why do you take it personally? I didn’t do anything to upset you—”

“Get out,” I hear myself say. “Just go.”

Her eyes shimmer, and for a moment I think she’ll cry, but then she lifts her chin and leaves, threading through the chairs and tables.

I groan and sink into a chair. There’s a pain in my chest I don’t understand. I rub my hand over my heart.

What the fuck just happened?

* * *

“He’s gonna be just fine,” the doctor says as we stand around Seth’s narrow bed in the ward. “We’ll monitor him tonight and expect to release him tomorrow.”

Zane is lounging against the wall, chewing on a toothpick. “Hear that, buddy? You’re gonna be pissing blood for a while, but otherwise you’ll be back on your feet in no time.”

Seth grunts from the bed. He looks like hell. Two black eyes, his nose broken and bandaged, stitches on his swollen jaw and a sling for his dislocated shoulder. Nothing they can do for the cracked ribs.

Anger flares inside me, burning hot. He’s lucky he got off without a concussion or damaged organs.

Shane is sitting on the bed, his long hair loose on his back. He hasn’t spoken a word since his cousin was brought in and patched up. Sometimes I really worry about that guy.

The doctor leaves and quiet settles in the room.

“Don’t worry, Seth, they didn’t mess up your pretty face too much,” Jesse says and grins. “Guess I should go, let you rest. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I should go, too,” Ocean says, raking a hand through his blue hair. “Gotta open Damage, see if I can salvage any of the appointments.”

“Coming with you,” Zane mutters. “Call us if you need us.”

I watch them go. I know I should follow—I’m not an apprentice like Jesse, Shane and Seth. The shop needs me—but I can’t, not yet.

“You sure you didn’t see their faces or any other clue?” Jesse asks again, and I wait for Seth to grunt again and glare. After all, we’ve asked this question like ten thousand times already.

But instead he does something weird. His dark eyes flick to me, and his forehead creases. “Micah,” he rasps, “why don’t you go? I’ll be fine here with the guys.”

“It’s okay,” I say.

“Seriously. Just go.”

The alarm bells are back in my head, deafening. Seth and I aren’t best friends, but we live in the same apartment, and we look out for each other. Always have. Until now. “I’m good.”

He closes his eyes for a second, looking exhausted. Does he really want me to go? Is he hiding something from me?

Dammit, I don’t need more bad shit today. “Spit it out, Seth. I’m not in the mood for games.”

“And you think I am?” He opens his eyes but doesn’t look at me.

“You know something. Who beat you up?” I stand at the foot of the bed, scowling at him.

He sighs. “Promise that you—any of you—won’t go on a rampage to avenge me or some such shit. I’m alive, and I’m fine. Promise me.”

I exchange a look with Jesse. Shane isn’t meeting my gaze. Fuck this.

“Who was it, Seth?” I fold my arms over my chest.

He scowls back, obviously not missing the fact we didn’t promise him anything.

We wait him out. I can see he needs to talk about it in the way his hands clench and unclench on the bed. But I don’t expect what he says, not one bit.

“Evangeline.” Seth breathes out slowly.

“What did you say?” I must be going mad. That’s not her name he spoke. Or maybe it’s another Evangeline. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“After they beat me up,” Seth says, “they told me, ‘this is from Blake. This is for Evangeline.’ And they laughed.”

The world goes gray for a second. “Are you sure?” I ask and my voice sounds hollow and thin in my ears. “Are you sure they said that?”

“I’m sure,” Seth says, and that’s it.

I’m gonna fucking lose it. This Blake had people beat up Seth for Ev, my Ev? Because she was afraid of Seth?

“Micah…” Seth’s voice seems distant.

Blake. Her ex-boyfriend. Or maybe not so ex?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I realize I’ve been backtracking when I hit the wall. This can’t be happening. Ev was the one person I believed in. This is my fault. I chose to ignore the clues, thought she’d explain her fears. That she’d be honest with me.

Oh God, not Ev. Not this.

I distantly hear someone calling my name. Seth. Or Jesse.

Not now. Can’t deal. I open the door and stagger out. I’ve no idea where I’m going or what I’m gonna do.

And it doesn’t matter one fucking bit.

* * *

I walk the streets like a ghost. I pass through my usual haunts, and I hear people greet me, but I have no voice left in me. No coherent thought.

Ev.

Could I be wrong? Could there be a misunderstanding? Didn’t she say she was scared of her ex-boyfriend? Was that a lie?

Or was it the truth? Am I missing something, a big fat clue staring me in the face?

I finally end up at Damage, and Zane gives me a wary look from his booth as I enter, half-frozen and numb. He talks to me, but I can’t make out the words.

I grab my tools and turn to look at the reception desk, trying to remember what I’m supposed to be doing here—then Zane takes my arm and shoves me out of the shop.

“Go home,” he says, sounding as tired as I feel. “Get your head straight. No inking when you’re lost inside your mind, fucker.”

Maybe he’s right, but I could have used the distraction. So instead I walk more. I walk and walk, trying to feel something, anything. Even my anger has leeched away, leaving behind an aching cold.

Don’t trust anyone. Don’t believe things will turn out all right. Don’t expect anything. Not if you want to survive and remain sane.

Night has fallen, thick and heavy. The air smells of rain, and then it comes, pelting down, drenching me to the bone, and still I barely feel it. The wet only adds to the cold inside, filling me up with nothingness until I’m close to bursting. Like a balloon. Like a soap bubble.

This doesn’t feel real. I’m not really here. I don’t know where I am.

I glance around and try to orient myself. The rain is like a great plastic curtain, blurring the streets and buildings. I think I’m not far from home, and I force my steps that way. A wind whips down the street. My teeth are chattering. A coughing fit grips my chest, and I bend over, hacking.

“Micah?” a woman calls. “Micah!”

Goddammit, I’ve really gone around the bend. I’m hearing voices. She really sounds like…

Ev. I straighten. She’s hurrying over to me, her hair plastered to her face, her eyes luminous in the faint light from the lamppost overhead.

“What are you doing here?” I demand, my voice hoarse and my head throbbing.

“I need to talk to you.”

I want to yell at her, shove her away—but her face is so sad I just can’t. Besides, I don’t feel the anger. The cold has filled me from side to side.

She seems to sense something is off because she tilts her head to the side and studies me for a long moment. A frown creases her brow, and she reaches for me. Her fingers close around my bicep.

“I reported him,” she says. “To the police. Not sure what they can do, but maybe if Seth can testify… Maybe they can get him.”

I stare at her, uncomprehending. I lift a hand to her face, and it’s shaking like an old man’s. My nails are a deep shade of blue. Pretty color.

“Shit, you’re freezing,” she hisses, and it’s funny that she cusses like this. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her cuss.

I chuckle and brush my hand over her smooth cheek. She flinches, and my grin falls.

“Micah.” She takes my hand and her touch burns. “You’re ice-cold. Let’s get you inside.”

“Gonna save me again?” I whisper.

She doesn’t reply. Maybe she hasn’t heard. She’s tugging on my hand toward what I realize is my building. It was closer than I thought.

I dig in my pockets for my keys, then fumble with the building door and drop them. Ev grabs them and opens. The air in the lobby feels unbearable warm. I let her pull me up the stairs, let her open the apartment and drag me inside.

I drop onto the couch as she buzzes around, turning on the heater and bringing me a towel from the bathroom. When it drops from my hand, and I can’t find the energy to lift it, she takes it and climbs next to me to dry my face and hair.

“You should be careful,” she says quietly as she puts the towel aside and brushes her warm hands over my face. “You have this nasty cough, and it could get worse if you don’t get it checked out.”

“I’m okay,” I say, a bit dazed and already reaching for her. I need her. I know I should be angry with her, but right now I can’t remember why, and I need her like I need air to breathe.

“There was this man…” She pauses with her hands on my cheeks. The contact burns, but I don’t care. I want her touch. Need it. “A young man living on the streets. I met him only a few times. And the last time I saw him he was so sick… Pneumonia, I guess. I think he was dying. So I called an ambulance. I was going to go with him to the hospital, make sure he got through it. But a bike ran me over before the ambulance arrived. I broke my leg, and it was all hazy for a while.”

She’s talking about me. She remembers me. The thought slams into me like a bullet, and I gasp. Her face scrunches up in worry.

“God, you’re freezing and here I am, talking nonstop.” Her hands are all over me, stealing what little breath I have left, unzipping and pushing off my jacket, tugging on my sweater. I pull sweater and T-shirt over my head and off, throwing them to the floor.

My teeth chatter harder now, and I’m mesmerized by her hands on my chest, skin to skin. Her cheeks are reddening, and all I want is to kiss her.

“Your pants are soaked,” she whispers and before I reach for her, she slips off the couch and kneels between my legs.

Oh fuck. I’m getting hard fast and a grumpy voice in the back of my mind whispers this isn’t such a good idea. I swallow, watching her intent, heart-shaped face as she undoes the laces of my boots and pulls them off, then starts on my socks, her fingers warm on my legs. I swallow again when she reaches for my fly, deftly unzipping and dragging down the wet, heavy material, leaving me in my black briefs.

We both look at the huge tent in them, then glance up and our gazes meet.

“Micah…” she whispers, the low, raspy sound making my cock twitch madly.

I grip her wrists and drag her up, on top of me. Oh hell. So good.

She gasps, and I crush our mouths together, swallowing the sound. If I can’t have her, I’ll just break, shatter into pieces.

She pulls back. “You’re cold. Need to warm you up—”

“So warm me up,” I mutter and start working on her jacket. My fingers are numb from the cold and can’t quite grip the zipper. Her eyes are wide, but she helps, opening and taking off her jacket. My hands slip under her sweater, and she yelps, then laughs.

Together we drag her clothes off, and she’s sitting there in her white bra and panties, biting her lip, her hair all over the place, streaks of copper and gold, and she’s fucking beautiful. I lean forward, press my mouth to the soft mound of her breast, and her mouth falls open. I watch her face as I trail my lips over her silky skin, her soft flesh, lower where her nipple stretches the thin fabric of the bra.

Her breath hitches, and she reaches blindly for me, as if she’s on top of a cliff, and she’s afraid she’ll fall.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper and slide my hands up her back in search of the clasp of her bra. I unhook it and free her breasts, so I can lick and kiss them. I suck on her nipples until she moans long and loud, then push my fingers into her panties. I rub her clit and slide my forefinger into her folds, inside her. “I’ve got you,” I say again, and my voice catches on a groan.

She’s moving frantically on top of my cotton-clad erection, and everything is tightening, the pressure rising. I grab her hips and stop her, but she tugs down my briefs, exposing my dick, and the brush of air on the wet tip sends a huge shudder through me.

Instantly she stills. “Crap, you’re still cold, I’m—”

“Getting warmer,” I manage, and her concern makes my chest constrict. “Come here.”

Her lips taste like her, fresh and sweet, and she barely seems to notice when I divest her of her panties. I pull my wallet from my jacket and find a condom. I grab my cock and quickly pull it on.

She’s staring down at it. It twitches in greeting.

Fuck. “Ride me,” I whisper.

We both moan when I tease her opening with the head of my dick, then she’s opening for me, and I’m slipping inside her. The pleasure is fucking insane. I push deeper, and she takes me until I’m seated in her heat all the way.

This isn’t gonna last long. All the damn stress of the day is catching up with me, all that pressure needs an outlet, and she’s velvet and fire clenched around me. I snap my hips up, driving into her, and she puts her hands on my shoulders and bends forward. Her breasts are right where I want them, and I take a stiff nipple in my mouth, sucking and licking, as she rocks on top of me, breathless moans leaving her lips.

“Micah, I…” Her head falls back, and her back arches. She ripples around my dick. She’s about to come, and the realization makes my balls draw tight. I thrust faster, harder, and she cries out, tightening like a fist around me.

Oh shit. My dick jerks. I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face against her breasts as I come hard, shaking against her.

“Oh God,” she breathes, still moving, sending aftershocks of pleasure through me. “Shit, Micah.”

I’m still holding on as if she might vanish into smoke. I refuse to let go, remember what happened today, what we talked about before we got lost in pleasure. I don’t fucking want this moment to end.

Refuse to admit it will and reality with come crashing down around me.

Hell, it always does.

* * *

“Are you asleep?” Ev murmurs, lazily trailing a fingertip down my chest to my stomach. She’s lying half on top of me on the sofa. We never made it to bed.

“And if I say yes?” I grin down at her, but she doesn’t smile. She seems to be in deep thought.

Deep thought is exactly what I’m trying to avoid right now. Good thing she’s naked, distracting me. I run a hand over the curve of her hip and brush it over her belly.

She shivers. “Why aren’t you still mad at me?” She watches my hand as it travels down to her thigh. “I reported Blake, Micah. Did you hear me before when I said that?”

My hand stops. Here it comes. I’m not ready yet. I move my hand lower, between her legs, and she gasps when I tease her seam open with my thumb.

“Do you want me to stop?” I stroke her, and her eyes close as her breathing speeds up. “Would you rather talk instead?”

Shit, she’s so ready. I dip my finger inside her again and again until she moans my name and comes apart in my arms, convulsing.

I’m breathing just as hard as she is. Reaching down for my junk, I find it rock hard and wet. I tug on it, and then her hand closes over mine.

“Micah. Did Seth say anything else to you about his assailants?”

All air leaves my lungs. “He did.”

There it comes, the sound of reality rushing back. Deafening.

“What did he say?”

“He said…” I lick my lips, and the cold fills me up again. “They claimed they did it for you. What did you do, Ev? What the hell did you do?”

“Me?” She flinches and pulls back. “You think I did this to Seth? That I sent people to beat him up?”

The hurt on her face is too much. “To hell with it, Ev. You asked what Seth said. And you always act scared around him and avoid him, and then you left from the hospital acting all upset. What is the truth?”

She gets up, and all the warmth leaves me. My teeth clack together, and my skin breaks out in goose bumps. I sit up and watch her standing with her back to me.

“You’re right,” she says, her voice barely audible. “I should have told you everything from the start.”

“Everything? That sounds like a lot.”

Her shoulders slump. She turns to face me. “Remember you asked me what scares me?”

“You said Blake. Very ex-boyfriend.”

A faint smile tugs on her lips. “Right. Well, he obviously doesn’t get the ‘ex’ part. Plus he has an issue with me talking to people on the street. So he threatened to hurt any homeless person I might talk to.”

Shit. I blink at nothing. “But Seth isn’t homeless anymore.”

“Blake said he kept track of the faces of every homeless person I’d taken care of before my accident. I wouldn’t put it past him to have photos of all of them. He’s sick. I thought he was just trying to frighten me, and some time passed with nothing happening, so I thought it would be all right, but then this happens…” She throws her hands into the air, and her mouth trembles. “This is my fault, for thinking Blake wouldn’t do it.”

I gape at her. The hell. “I’m gonna kill that fucker,” I say, my voice a growl. “Where is he?”

“Micah, no.” She returns to me, kneeling on the sofa next to me. “Don’t do anything. Get Seth to file a report, and combined with mine it should be enough to get a restraining order for Blake, for both me and Seth.”

“What about others? What about Shane?” What about me?

This sucks serious ass.

“I mentioned this to the police. I’ll have to avoid Seth and Shane for now, until we see what happens. Blake may have a record already. They’re looking into it.”

“You don’t…” I struggle to suck in breath. “Don’t understand.”

“What?” She’s looking at me, her eyes clear.

She reported the asshole. He’s being investigated, watched. Why should I scare her now by telling her I was on the streets, too? I can take care of myself. I’ll be careful.

“Nothing.” I pull her to me. “Will you stay?”

“Let me just text my brother.”

“And your parents?”

“I moved out.”

She did? When did that happen?

She jumps off the sofa in search of her discarded clothes and her cell phone, leaving me to stare after her.

Would she move in with me? Would Seth mind? Would she like it?

Oh shit. Too soon. I lean back and close my eyes. I’ll scare her. She barely knows me.

Too bad I’m not sure I can live without her anymore.