Epilogue

JULIE

“You sure we have to let her do this?” Uncle Mason grills my dad. I refrain from rolling my eyes. My mom says it’s rude— but where does she think I learned it?

“Hush, Mason. She’s sixteen.” My mom rolls her eyes. “After the stunt Nolan pulled, don’t question my parenting.”

“What? The magazine fiasco. Don’t tell Breck, but she over reacted.” Uncle Mason defends Nolan.

It seems my cousin, at age eleven, had a nudey magazine that Aunt Breck found. I can say he’s scarred for life from my Aunt’s punishment. She didn’t confiscate it— instead enacted her revenge. She took photos of herself and all my aunts, cut their faces from the pictures, glued them over the models and replaced the magazine. Uncle Brody said she ruined his spank bank fantasies but that thought is disgusting and I won’t let myself go there.

“Uncle Mace.” He turns to look at me, his eyes softening as usual. “It’s fine. Roman’s a pitcher. You’ll like him.” I’ve been surrounded by baseball my entire life.

“That’s my issue. Fucking players.” I suppress a giggle. “I know. Starbucks.” He stomps off as the front door opens. Jesus. Is everyone showing up for my first date? Uncle Caden and Aunt Avery stroll in with their brood. And her rounded belly. I smile as I glance between her and my mom.

After Kinsley, my parents were content for a bit with just us. Two years ago we added Laurel to the family and now she’s pregnant with another little girl. My dad is gonna lose his mind.

The cousins aren’t balanced to say the least. Me, Kinsley, Laurel and Maisie (expecting) make up my brood. Four girls. Uncle Mason and Aunt Brecklynn have three boys. Nolan, Nash, and Nathyn. Aunt Emberlee and Uncle Brody have two girls; Darby and Holly with Holt finishing their family. Hard to believe Holt and Holly are twins— total polar opposites. Aunt Avery and Uncle Caden have Willow and Leif with another girl joining their family soon.

Total: Girls— Eight. Boys— Five.

“We’re here. Where’s the victim?” Uncle Caden teases.

“Can you believe they’re okay with this? I’ve tried talking sense into Shortstop but she ignores me as usual.” Uncle Mason is pacing, shooting death glares at my mom. “And what the hell— we need more boys in the fold. There’s a hell of a lot of girls gonna be dating soon.”

“Jesus. Can you fix him?” My dad looks to Uncle Caden for help. “You’re a doctor.”

“Pussy isn’t a diagnosis. Therefore, there is no treatment.” Uncle Caden is crass— but speaks the truth.

There’s been a special bond with Uncle Mason and me as long as I can remember. He’s a bit over the top and he’s the reason I hate lollipops— although I don’t dare tell him that.

“Honey, ignore them.” My aunt Avery fluffs my hair.

“Let me get a picture.” Aunt Brecklynn is smiling, her camera at the ready. “Saylor, stand with Julie.”

“You wanna fucking document this shit?” Uncle Mason is sputtering.

“Hush, Ace.” My aunt Brecklynn warns.

“Doll, it isn’t right. You shouldn’t be encouraging this.” He won’t stop.

“Everyone— on the count of three, shut your eyes, cover your ears and if the police interrogate y’all— Mason fucking Adler just walked through the door to never be heard from again. One. Two . . .”

“Doll, don’t be like that.” Uncle Mason is grinning at her.

“Then shut up.” He pouts but obeys.

Kinsley comes from the kitchen and shoots me a wink. She’s the brave one outta us two and we’re super close, two years separate us. “You look great, Jules.” She grins and turns to the rest of the family. “Just think, in two years, this will be me and Darby.” Uncle Brody turns green and growls.

Darby is his little girl, but Kinsley and him have a tightness like Uncle Mason and me. He will lose his mind.

“You may be whipping out your prescription pad for some blood pressure medicine when that happens.” My dad tells Caden.

“Or sedatives. That works for me.” Aunt Emberlee deadpans. Darby joins Kinsley and we step to the side to let the bickering commence.

“Roman is so cute. His younger brother is hot.” Darby whispers and I see Kinsley frown.

Reese, Roman’s younger brother is the same age as these two and I know they’ve noticed him. Darby is more outspoken than Kinsley— but in this crew it’s easy for your voice to be lost. I’ve got it easier as the oldest, but the younger ones seem to shout over each other.

“Princess!” Mason hollers to me.

I peek my head around the corner. “Any car. Name it. You can have it. All you have to do is call this boy and cancel. And don’t ever date.” I do roll my eyes this time and my mom punches him in the stomach.

“Dickless wonder.” She punches him again. “I’m gonna ask you to leave if you don’t stop.”

“Ask all you want. I don’t listen.” He smiles at her.

“No shit.” Breck punches his arm.

Nolan, Holt, and Nash run into the room, almost colliding with my mom. “Is he here yet?” Nolan screeches. “Fifty right, dad? I just gotta nail him in the nads?” Kill me now.

“MASON!” Breck shrieks.

“MASON!” My mom shouts.

Uncle Mason holds his hands up in surrender meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry.” He isn’t, but I love him anyway. I narrow my eyes and see him swallow. He hates me being mad at him. In the past I used it to my advantage, now I try to set an example to the others, so I can’t do it.

“Please.” I beg of him. “Don’t embarrass me.” He drops his head and sits down.

“This is hard.” He is solemn.

“No shit. It is my kid. And I have three left.” My dad grumbles.

“She’s your kid but she likes me better.” I won’t step into this argument. My daddy knows it isn’t true. I love my Uncle Mason but I’m a daddy’s girl through and through. My dad winks at me and acquiesces with Mason. He does have a fragile ego according to my mom.

The doorbell sounds and I have to fight to catch my breath. “How’d you meet him?” Mason starts grilling me.

“He’s a new transfer this year. From Texas.” I wink at Aunt Breck hoping she’ll save me.

“Shit.” He groans. He knows he doesn’t have a chance.

My mom opens the door and I see Roman hand her some wildflowers and I get this weird sensation in my chest. As he steps into the living room Uncle Caden gasps. “Roman?”

“Dr. Monroe?” His grin is genuine but everyone else is confused. “I still have your card. I was gonna give you a call next week.”

“Wait. How do you know my Uncle Caden?” I needle him.

“Uncle Caden? He’s your uncle?” His eyes scan the room. “Holy shit. That means your Uncle Mace is Mason Adler?”

“You realize you just cussed in my living room and haven’t made it through the door with my daughter?” My dad drones.

“Sorry, Sir.” Roman stammers.

“How do you know this chump?” Mason cross-examines Caden.

“Confidential. But it’s good to see you kid.” He steps to him, shakes his hand and pulls him into a side hug.

“You, too. Good to be back.” He turns to Mason. “I dislocated my shoulder a few years back and Dr. Monroe popped it back in.”

“You pitch? Julie said you did.”

“Yes sir.” Roman nods.

“Any good?” Mason is doubtful.

Roman lists his stats and Mason whistles through his teeth. “Damn boy. Like your skills. Don’t like you dating my Princess.”

“Are we gonna whip out dicks and measure next?” My mom is frustrated.

“Shortstop.” My dad barks.

I’ve witnessed this scene time and time again with my grandparents and parents. My aunts and their parents. My uncles and their parents. And pretty much my entire family. “I think he’ll fit in just fine, honey.” My Aunt Avery kisses my cheek and pushes me towards Roman.

“I’m waiting up for you.” Mason reminds me.

“Okay, old man. My curfew is eleven. Can you manage?” I blow him a kiss and leave for my first date.