Chapter Eleven

 

 

“You’ve got to get up Avery. We have to leave in an hour.” Emberlee nags.

“It takes five minutes to brush my teeth and throw my hair in a bun.” I reply, closing my eyes and snuggling back into the covers. “How much did we drink last night?” It’s rhetorical . . . all of us were trashed.

“Too fucking much,” Saylor groans.

“I don’t wanna see the receipts.” Brecklynn shutters.

“Shit, did we pay?” I sit up and regret that move. My head is punishing me for sudden movements.

“Mason did.” Emberlee grins.

“Wake me up when it’s five minutes to go time.” I get comfortable and drift to sleep.

“She’s gonna regret that.” Saylor giggles.

I regret a lot. Drinking to the point of stupidity last night— okay I don’t regret that. I regret that on impulse and love I signed a contract one year ago for a perfect studio and having to give it up in a few hours. I regret wasting four years hiding my relationship from my friends. I regret dancing atop the bar of Coyote Ugly, because my favorite push up bra is now dangling from the rafters. I regret picking up smoking because I really want a cigarette and I passed my day three.

But I can promise I won’t regret this extra thirty minutes of sleep.

 

 

“You’re wearing that?” Lee Lee scoffs. I don’t know who the fuck appointed her fashion police but I wish they’d revoke her badge.

“Yes.” I glance down at my adorable purple shirt, which proudly sports the middle finger and ‘Off You Fuck.’ Granted, my tits don’t look the best because my good bra is waving in the wind at a bar a few miles up the road, but I had a backup. My black sweat pants match and don’t have paint stains . . . though the ‘Just the Tip’ logo across my ass may raise some eyebrows. Fuck it— if any asshole says something they’ll get an earful.

That day in Prague I conceded the fact I was single. It killed me. Today, I’m giving up my dream space that I was going to open with Caden by my side while I watched him pursue his dream . . . so excuse the fuck outta me if I don’t dress to impress. And not to mention the hangover from hell I’m the proud owner of. “Give me a break, Lee Lee.” Tears fill my eyes and I’m over her judgmental bullshit. “Do you have any idea what I’m doing today? The dreams I’m saying good bye to?”

“No. I don’t. Because for four years you hid it. You made plans, celebrated with Caden,” I gasp when she utters his name. “You didn’t bother to include us in that part of your life, so excuse the fuck outta me if I don’t understand because you didn’t share.”

I don’t have a bargaining chip— she’s correct in her accusation. I didn’t tell them how ridiculously perfect this warehouse is. I didn’t share how I dreamed of framing some of Breck’s photos to display, how I’d wanted Emberlee to plan the grand opening, how I wanted Saylor’s input with learning how to expand and get my business in the spotlight. “Honey, what Emberlee meant is we know this is hard and we’re sorry but we are still trying to catch up.” Brecklynn hugs me.

“I’m sorry.” I look at Emberlee and see tears in her eyes— that match mine. “I suck. I know you don’t get it because you didn’t witness it. I was selfish. I was scared. And I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”

“No, Aves. You are selfless. I can see it clearly, the reasons you kept everything from us and that’s our fault. We piled everything on you and didn’t make you share with us. I’m an ass.” Lee Lee pushes Brecklynn off me and hugs me.

“Yes. Yes, you are but it’s kinda your thing. A charming ass.” I smack her butt and giggle. Then I wipe my snot on her shirt— a little karma from her pregnancy break down.

“Did you just wipe your snot on me?” She gasps.

“Yep. We are at that level of friendship because I remember you doing it to me almost three years ago.” I push from her arms and head to the door. “Let’s do this. We don’t wanna be late.”

“I don’t have my kid and I’m still leaving the house with some kinda bodily fluid smeared across me. Fucking great.” She whines but follows us to the elevator.

“That was a cute shirt, too.” I wink.

 

I exit the leasing office and gulp in a breath of air. That was fucking hard. The ‘good faith’ deposit I lost doesn’t faze me— cancelling the lease was another step in releasing my relationship. This one was huge. This one was final. I left the girls exploring and I spot them at the coffee shop. Those bitches better have me an extra large, extra shot of something.

I stride to them and my body seizes. A bulletin board with flyers, business cards, a plethora of information regarding upcoming events assaults me with memories. Many with Caden and a lot with friends. There in the middle is a Lost & Found notice. It screams at me to read it. It could be the bold typeset, the words that bleed pain from the paper— or it may be the broken heart drawn in the middle.

I take a step to it.

Another.

By the fourth step I’m within touching distance and I allow my eyes to scan the plea for help.

 

Lost: My heart.

 

If found please send her to my arms.

 

I want a chance to tell her I’m sorry.

 

I want a chance to live my life with her.

 

If you’re taking a chance and willing to help bring her back to me— here is your mission.

 

She’s in this building but I’ve placed items around The Factory for you to collect and bring to her, in hopes they’ll jar her memory and she’ll realize our love is forever.

 

Go to Pike’s Leathers and ask him for ‘fifth grade.’ He’ll have the instructions for the next venture.

 

Please help.

 

Saylor has taken place next to me and I grip her hand. “He loves her. We have to help.”

It’s ridiculous. I shut the last door regarding my relationship minutes ago but maybe I can right the wrongs of these people’s love. Maybe I can stop someone from experiencing what I have. “He does love her. You game?” She grins.

I wave Breck and Lee Lee over and have them read the notice. “Cheesy much?” Lee Lee rolls her eyes. I swear she isn’t happy unless Brody is tugging her hair and smacking her ass.

“Where is your sense of romance?” I gripe.

“Oh, somewhere at the bottom of a pail overflowing with shitty diapers.” She deadpans.

“Aves, are you sure you wanna do this?” Breck stares at me.

“I’m not, but something is telling me to do it. Maybe I’ll get some closure or something. I hurt and I’m tired of feeling this way. I can’t hate Caden for breaking my heart because he didn’t. Circumstances did. I know, deep down, if he had a choice it’d be me. He did that for me. Made me secure enough in our love that I have no doubts. And I think that’s what has been so hard to deal with. Our love didn’t end— it was stolen. Along with his memories. If I can show this girl that love isn’t fleeting, that one mistake doesn’t have to ruin all the other moments, maybe I’ll heal just a bit.” I’m holding tight to a past that only I remember. It sucks. But if I can change someone else’s fate— if I can mend two people in love, I’ll feel as if I’m doing Caden and what he showed me justice.

Falling in love with him was a fairytale. It may not be the one I dreamed of when I was six but it was the one we created together. It was our reality and that’s better than any dream I may have. I don’t want to forget that. I don’t want to tarnish it with being bitter and unforgiving. He didn’t ask for this anymore than I did.

“We’ve got this.” Emberlee chucks her coffee and I wanna cry. “Relax bitch. I’ve got two waiting over there.” She points to the coffee shop. “We’ll need them if we have to use our brain.” I take the hand she offers, pick up my elixir and set off to Pike’s Leather to begin the journey of changing fate. Righting a wrong.

“Here it is.” Saylor points. I enter the store and notice they aren’t following. I shrug; this has always been my thing. This time I’m not searching for lost items but I’m finding a lost love.

“Hi.” I grab the attention of the clerk at the register. “I’m here for fifth grade.” I smile and he shakes his head.

“Damn insanity. But I’m a sucker for love.” He reaches under the counter and hands me a brown box. “Directions are to head over to Gladys’ Glass. Open the box and you’ll have your instructions.” My fingers are burning to open the box but I’ll follow the instructions I was given.

“What is it?” Breck asks.

“Dunno. I have to find Gladys’ Glass and open it there. It has the next step inside I guess. This guy went to a lot of trouble.”

“It’s kinda fun.” Emberlee is falling into the fun of it. We find a map and it’s like a damn maze getting to the next location. I’d forgotten how large this place was. “This place is to die for. I’d move here for this alone. The events I could plan.” I trip and come close to face planting but Shortstop grabs my arm. “Oh shit, Aves. I’m sorry. I keep opening my mouth.”

“Hey.” I stop and face her. “It’s okay. Shit’s gonna sting and things are gonna be awkward for a bit. Don’t censor yourself. Somehow, we’re gonna get back to normal because, even though I don’t have his heart, I need his friendship. It isn’t gonna happen overnight, I don’t see a miraculous epiphany smacking me, but one day it’ll be like old times. But, we have to act normal. He’s dealing with enough and I haven’t been fair to him. Or y’all.”

“I wanna be you when I grow up.” She cries and throws her arms around me. “But I’ll shower and won’t reek of smoke like you do.” I flip her the bird and pry myself from her arms.

We locate the next shop and I’m nervous. “You gonna open that thing?” Breck is swaying in excitement.

I lift the lid and it looks like a belt coiled inside. I run my fingertips over it, the softest, palest color brown meets them and I’m hesitant to unwrap it. I know the craftsmanship in this is exquisite and it seems lost boy went to a lot of trouble. “This girl better take his ass back. I don’t care if he cheated with her best friend.” I joke— because that’s a no-go. I hand the box to Breck as I stretch the belt so I can look and see where the next clue is.

It clatters to the floor as my hands drop to my side. My stomach clenches and I have a million thoughts running through my mind. Impossible. I back away like it’s a snake ready to strike, my eyes won’t leave the strip of leather lying there. Someone’s idea of a cruel joke is too much and I’m wondering who hates me this much. I lift my eyes to my audience and Saylor has bent down to pick it up and is holding it to me.

“No.” My fingers cover my mouth.

“Yes.” Emberlee says.

Breck is silent, her watery eyes match mine. “How?” I plead.

“Finish the lost and found.” Emberlee says walking to me. Saylor emerges with the belt and I take it from her with shaking hands. I run my fingers along the detail and I close my eyes remembering this day. The image pressed into the strong leather is overwhelming.

It was Deacon’s birthday and I didn’t like the cake decoration, so I’d taken my fingers and created something else in the icing. I had the confection up to my elbows and Caden came to help me clean myself. I’d fumbled and he ended up wearing blue icing all over his face. As retaliation, he’d shoved my face into the cake and we were both covered and laughing. His mom called for us to look at her and we turned, with matching grins as she snapped the photo.

I open my eyes and that image is staring back at me. “He remembers?” I whisper, afraid of the hope fluttering in my heart.

“Every. Fucking. Thing.” Emberlee articulates.

“Where is he?” The past nine weeks disappear and my sole focus is his arms. My home. I need to be there.

“This was important to him. He thinks he has something to prove.” Saylor hugs me. “Please finish.”

I want to argue. I want to shout for him, but I don’t know where he is. I want his warmth, his strength . . . I need to feel his love. “Please.” Breck whispers.

I nod and take the box the belt was in so I can read the note. “Ask Gladys for her eighth grade special.” I chuckle . . . I can imagine what is in store for me.

I rush inside and look for anyone. Seeing an older woman with a grin I run to her. “Are you Gladys?”

“I am.” She answers.

“I need the eighth grade special.” I, in part, beg.

“Right behind you on the shelf.” She winks and turns from me. I spin and gasp. Inside, a glass blown ornament stares back at me.

I’d tried rescuing a damn kitten and fell from the tree. The greens mixed in with the glass represent the tree and inside is a small snapshot of Caden holding my hand as I got eight stitches in my knee. He made me promise to wait for him and I was forbidden from climbing trees. How’d I miss it back then? His love has always been there. I grip the delicate bulb in my hands and press it to my chest.

“You need to go to Jillian’s. It’s upstairs.” Her soft voice warms me and I nod. My steps falter as I exit the store.

“Well?” Saylor asks. I present her with the beautiful creation and Emberlee can’t hold back her sob.

“Upstairs.” I fumble the word and we take off to the stairs.

“If Mason ever expects anal that motherfucker better up his game.” Breck grumbles and in the seriousness of this moment it’s perfect. We chuckle, needing a different emotion. I think I have every single one coursing through me.

“I’m scared.” I admit my biggest fear.

“Of what?” Breck asks.

“I don’t know.” And I don’t.

I’m elated.

I’m shocked.

I’m so fucking in love I can’t stand it.

But— I’m terrified. “And that’s what this is for, Aves. Lay it at his feet. Your fear. Your doubt. He did all this for you to give it to him and show you something different.” Emberlee urges me to move instead of standing here stuck in time.

I find Jillian’s and I halt so I can take it in. Breck is doing the same. She is a photographer to the stars of Nashville. “Wow.” Breck utters.

“Are you Avery?” A gorgeous redhead walks to us.

“Y-y-yes.” I stutter.

“Here.” She studies me for a minute. “He said it was one of the best nights of his life. But they’re all perfect since you’ve been by his side.” She hands me a photo album and guides me to a seat.

The first memory is the Sadie Hawkins dance— where he evicted my date and became the boy I fell in love with.

Next is a candid image taken of me during our spring break trip— where we gave in to our feelings.

Senior prom, the Disney theme I did. In this photo I’m holding Julie, staring at him across the room.

I turn the pages and more and more milestones appear. High school graduation. The museum he whisked me to. Late night selfies. One of me sleeping during movie nights, his legs supporting my head. The night he put his ring on my finger. The day he got the acceptance letter from Vanderbilt.

A lifetime of love can’t fit in this book, but my heart expands daily to make room for it. Because that’s what he does. Makes me fall more and more in love every day. For the rest of my life.

“The next step in your journey is next door.” Jillian informs us and disappears in a back room.

I jump and take off at a run. If that’s where I can find him, I can’t get there fast enough. I get to the exit and stop all movement. Saylor crashes into me creating a domino effect of the other two. “What the finger fuck?” Emberlee busts in a shrill tone.

“Is he there?” I whisper.

“Don’t know.” She replies.

“That was supposed to be my gallery. I wonder if he knows I broke the lease.” I mean he’s here, he planned all this, and he has to know it’s no longer mine.

“One way to find out, Sherlock.” Emberlee bites.

I nod and decide I’ll only get the answers if I move. Dropping my chin to my chest, I open my eyes and inhale. Fuck . . . “You expect me to see him after all this time in this outfit.” I’m fucking mortified. My hands go to my hair and I remember all I did was brush my teeth this morning.

“Tried to tell you.” I’m gonna cut Lee Lee’s voice box with her singsong tone.

“Oh, fuck you. And you. And you.” I glare at all three of them. “Don’t we have like chick code or some shit? A hint or something would’ve been nice.” Silence. They stare at me, as if they don’t have a care in the world.

A warm sensation takes over my body and I feel free. Light. I don’t give a fuck what I’m wearing. He won’t care what I look like. He’s Caden. I’m Avery. Together we’re unbreakable. And . . . he’s held my hair when I’ve puked, I don’t think hung-over matters.

I walk with determined steps— okay, slow jog— until I pull the door open and my eyes scan the room until I find him. I notice the candles, the paintings, the photos all hung and highlighted but I don’t care. I see all of our parents and the kids watching this reunion but I don’t care. He’s here. With his sandy brown hair styled to perfection, his honey eyes drinking me in, his perfect smile showcasing his dimple— it’s all within reach but yet I can’t move.

“What?” I ask him.

“It’s yours. It’s ours. It’s all for you.” He takes a step towards me and nothing could restrain me as I run and collide into him. His arms wrap around me, pulling me until a sliver of paper couldn’t fit between us . . . and I breathe.

The first breath since the accident. My lungs expand. My heart beats erratically. My eyes leak.

My soul . . . it soars and joins with his.