HUG IT OUT

LEVI

I stand outside the studio housing our rehearsal space. I’ve been avoiding calls from everyone since I touched down in Sydney. I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do. I still don’t know. I have a demo with seven songs in my hand. Who those seven songs belong to, I have no fucking clue. I could shop them out, plenty of up and coming bands don’t write their own shit. Hell, plenty of established bands don’t write their own music either. I could cut a deal with Guidelli, collaborate with some other artist, and make a dick-tonne of money, but they were written for Taint. And as unsure as I am about my future with this band, they’re my family. They helped contribute to this pain, so it’s only fair they should get first dibs.

I push inside the studio, and I’m met with a peachy receptionist with huge tits squeezed into a top that’s two sizes too small—at least. I think I fucked her once.

“Levi,” she says in a saccharine voice. Her eyes roll over me from head to toe and rest on my dick. Yep, definitely fucked her. “The others are waiting for you in Studio Five, only the best for our boys.”

“Thanks,” I say. She starts to rise from her chair, no doubt hoping to lead me down the hall and miraculously take a wrong turn somewhere. Not interested. “Don’t get up. I know the way.”

When I push through the door of Studio Five, Coop’s back is to me, and he’s talking shit—when is he not? “All I’m saying is, we need to prepare for the fact that he might not be coming back.”

“Except he just walked in,” Zed says, extricating himself from under Deb—that’s new—and hurtling towards me. He scoops me up and practically breaks all my ribs in the process. “Man, I knew you wouldn’t bail on us.”

“And leave Ryan without someone to torment him? Never.” I grin at the man in question, and we even shake hands, because sometimes I can be an adult.

I glance at Ash, who’s practically fucking beaming, and shake my head. He’s lost weight since I saw him last week, his skin is sallow, and he appears to have a head cold—if his red nose and glassy eyes are anything to go off.

“Where have you been?” Cooper “Fuck Face” Ryan demands.

Avoiding you. Avoiding this.

“Oh, you know, just hanging round my chateau in France. I got back a few days ago.”

“And yet you still managed to be an hour late for rehearsal,” Cooper says, flopping back down in his recliner.

“I knew you couldn’t wait to bust my balls about something.”

“Where’s your axe, man?” Ash asks.

“I didn’t bring it.” Four confused faces stare back at me. I throw the demo on the coffee table.

Ryan pounces, snatching up the flash drive. “What the fuck is this?”

“It’s our next album. Or I guess, it’s mine, if you guys don’t like it. It’d be better with Coop’s vocals, of course.” I give our lead singer a snide smile. “But who isn’t better off with Coop?”

“You wrote the entire album?”

“I wrote eight songs. The recording is kind of shitty. It was made on a cheap laptop in a crumbling empty house, but if you can get past the poor quality, there are some fucking killer songs there.” My hands are shaking, and I don’t know if it’s the alcohol withdrawal or because for the first time in years I’m actually fucking nervous. “I have some stipulations though.”

“Stipulations?” Ryan asks, and it’s funny because we both know stipulations are what caused us to meet and fall in love with Red, and create this rift between us in the first place. “We use the cellist in the recordings, maybe not live, but Brie has to be the one to play those songs. And she gets twenty per cent of the royalties. She helped me write them.”

Ryan’s eyes narrow. “Brie, as in my cellist from the wedding?”

“No, arsehole. My cellist. But technically, yes, she played your wedding.” He might be the reason we met, but she’s mine. She was from the day she walked into my chateau.

“What the fuck, man? You hooked up with her after ruining my fucking wedding because you were sulking over my wife?”

“Didn’t she beat the shit out of you at Coop’s reception?” Zed chimes in.

“I like her so much,” Deb says.

Coop looks incredulous. “So all this time the entire world was looking for you and you were shacked up with a cellist in France? We thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth. You could have been dead for all we knew.”

“Don’t.” I shake my head and walk away. “Just don’t.”

“Don’t what, give a shit about what happens to my lead guitarist? To a member of our band?” He gets up and follows. “You and I have had a lot differences lately but that doesn’t mean I want you dead.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re a drama queen.” I laugh without humour.

“Did you even stop to think about Ali? And how worried she was?”

“Did you stop to think about why Ali was thinking of me on her honeymoon?” I counter. I can’t help it. I don’t even know where it came from because the truth is, until today, I haven’t thought about Red in weeks. The intended blow hits hard though, just like I knew it would.

It’s so goddamn easy to push Cooper Ryan’s buttons. He takes several steps towards me and I don’t back down. I don’t know why I can’t let this go. I’ve already let Red go, so why can’t I leave them be? I just have to keep driving the knife in my bandmate’s back.

“Knock it off,” Zed says, standing between us. For a passive, he’s pretty damn frightening when he wants to be, but it’s mostly just due to his size. I doubt Zed’s ever hurt a living being a day in his life.

I raise my hands in a warding gesture and sigh. “Tell Red I’m sorry, but I’m doing okay.” Coop frowns, just a small twitching of his brows and then he nods. “Listen to the demo. Let me know what you think.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah ... I got some shit to take care of, but I’ll be back when you guys decide what you want.”

“You don’t have to go,” Coop says, “Let’s jam, work out some of this stupid fucking tension.”

“I can’t.” I back away.

“Levi,” Ash warns.

“I’m good. Really, I am, but I can’t be here when you listen to it.”

Ryan’s brow creases. “How the fuck do you expect to play it then?”

“I can play it. I just can’t hear it.”

He glares at the flash drive in his hand. “Every song on this demo is about Ali, isn’t it?”

“Not all, there’s one about you too. It’s called, ‘I Wish You’d Get the Clap and Die, Motherfucker’.”

Coop smiles. I take a deep breath. “Tell her she doesn’t need to worry about me anymore.”

“Okay.”

I wrinkle my nose. “I gotta split before you decide you wanna hug it out.”

“Probably not going to happen.” Ryan laughs.

“Yeah well, you weren’t going to marry Red any time soon either, but look how that turned out.” I shrug and turn to the other guys. “Let me know what you guys decide.”

“Okay, dude,” Zed says, pulling Deb back into his lap. Her brother makes a disgusted face.

“When are you coming back?” Ash asks.

“I don’t know, but I won’t leave the country.”

Not yet anyway.