Everyone is cracking up because Grams swore, and sweet, old, May Cocker never does. It’s the matriarch’s ‘thing’ to reprimand her large family by shouting, “Language!” whenever a cuss word slips out—often intentionally.

So I’m smiling along with everyone as she shouts, “That’s my fucking title!” but I can’t laugh.

Ryder’s cough draws my attention. “Can I ask you a question?”

Frowning, I nod, “Sure.”

He glances to Zoe who shifts positions like she wasn’t staring at him. Taking my elbow he leads me out of earshot. “You and Sam hook up before you went to New York?”

“No. We’re just friends.”

Ryder nods. “I know you were.”

“Are.”

“Something feels off today.”

I look over to where she and Lexi are meeting Caden’s new girlfriend. Turns out what they say about absence is true—Samantha is even more beautiful than before I left.

She was so happy to see me it almost wasn’t awkward. Except for how intensely I wanted to kiss her. Knowing that’s off the table when I ache for it, doesn’t make this easy for me. But her attitude lightened the load.

Lexi and Hunter are fighting over who can be the biggest dick while she just watches and takes her turn in the big event, happy to be here. Their eldest brother, Max, just walked up with his new fiancé. Samantha is smiling as Lexi grabs the engagement ring and falls apart.

“We’re just friends, Ryder. That’s it.”

“That all you want to be?”

I meet his eyes and hold. “Does it matter?”

His breath is deep. “Ah.”

“Yeah.”

The two of us stand off to the side and watch the Cocker Family doing their thing, messing around and having a great time doing it. Samantha works her way back and because everyone is involved in their own conversations, they don’t notice her. It’s only Lexi they react to.

But I notice.

She doesn’t blend, to me.

I don’t have to look at Ryder to know he’s watching us and understands me as only an outsider could. He’s the nephew of Tanner, husband to Emma Cocker, Jake’s only daughter. Ryder moved here from California with his mom, Jen, and he’s always at these infamous Family BBQs. But like me, he’s not a blood-relation to a Cocker, nor is he dating or married to one. We are the rare type of guest, getting in because someone in this family loves us.

Only wish she loved me more.

As her father takes a swig from a hidden pitcher of his mom’s fresh ginger-ale, and calls out, “I do something wrong?” with a smirk that sends everyone into hysterics, Samantha rejoins me and unwittingly sends Ryder away to give us alone-time.

“I can’t believe he did that,” she laughs about her dad as she tucks soft, blonde hair behind her ear. “Nobody saw him hide it! At least he can’t take Grandma’s chili — it’s too big!”

My smile is filled with private things as I ask, “You like Caden’s girlfriend?”

“He wouldn’t have picked her if she wasn’t special.” Her eyelashes flutter up. “Are you having fun in New York, Logan? Is it everything we thought it would be?”

My lungs twist into a pretzel as I gaze into the sweet brown eyes I miss so much. “Yeah, it is.”

She nods to the grass under our feet. “Not everyone is made for fame.”

“You could have gone all the way, Sam.” I touch her hand, which is more than I’ve ever done at one of these. “You still could. The girl who replaced you isn’t great. She’s not you.”

She shakes her head once, just a tiny motion. “That’s sweet of you to say. It’s not the life I want.”

That statement is so final that I stare at her, every hope I had of convincing her to come, evaporating. I hadn’t realized it until this second, but that’s why I came. It was to get her to change her mind.

My voice is thick with the knowledge that we are at a crossroads. “What life do you want?”

Her smile peeks out but there’s sadness underneath it. “A simple one, I guess. I just want to be happy.”

“I thought I would hate her!” Lexi announces, walking up with authority, Zoe coming to stand by her side. “But she seems alright. I’m just pissed because…you know.”

“Where’d Ryder go?”

“Oh, Zoe, learn the art of subtlety, would you?”

Samantha smiles, “Lexi…”

“What?! I know I’m not subtle! That’s the difference! Logan, how long are you here for?”

“Just the day. Fly back tomorrow.”

“Where are you staying? You got rid of your apartment, right?”

“I did, yeah.” Samantha and I exchange a look. Without a lease there are no roots. “I’m staying at a friend’s. Do you remember Connor?”

“No.”

“Good guy.”

“Cool. Are you coming to our place later?” At my silence she leans in like it’s the most obvious suggestion ever. “When is the next time we’re going to see you?”

Zoe hints, “Maybe he wants to sleep well before his flight.”

“Fuck that!” laughs Lexi. “He can sleep when he’s dead.”

“People have been saying that for too long. It’s morbid.”

“Is it? Or is it a fact?”

The cousins stare at each other, the winner decided before the argument began. Zoe locks eyes with me like she understands I need to get away from Samantha.

But I don’t want to.

Ever.

“Sure, I’ll come over.”

Lexi claps, “Great!” and heads for food. “I’m starving!”

Sam nervously tucks her hair back again and smiles, “Excuse me.”

Zoe and I are suddenly alone, so Ryder returns from seeing his uncle’s new daughter, Isabella. His dark eyes bounce from Zoe to me so casually I can’t tell if he knows how she worships him. The guy is a stud, and carries himself like the high-class mother who raised him. I don’t see Jen here, but I heard she’s in a happy relationship for the first time in years.

“Did I hear you’re going to House Three later?” he asks me.

“House Three?”

A smirk tugs as he motions to Zoe. “The house where three of the most beautiful women in Atlanta live.”

This statement makes her glow like someone just began a soundtrack and a wind machine blew her hair back. Zoe Cocker isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met. If wood nymphs were real, she’d be one.

I haven’t answered the question, so he asks again. “You going over there?”

Before I have a chance to say, Zoe offers, “Did you want to come over?”

He locks eyes with her. “Sure.”

It’s like I’m not here. My mouth slackens and I step back, pointing at the buffet table. “I’m uh…going to find Sam.”