Lexi slams the door, “I really need to quit that job,” and throws her bag onto our coffee table as I come in from the kitchen with a smoothie in my hand. “I know I’m supposed to like yoga, but I don’t. I’ve been working for Paige for a long time, and I love that woman, I do! But the utter and complete calm of the entire practice drives me absolutely bonkers.” She picks up Sally, sitting down on the couch with us. “It’s not like dancing. But so close, right? Is that crazy? Am I being supersensitive?”

I take a sip of carrot-ginger, adjust myself to get a little bit more comfortable, and ask, “Do you want me to tell you what I think?”

Lexi stares at me a beat. “Of course!”

“You tell me about a lot of things that you don’t want to hear my opinion on.”

Sally squirms out of her hands to see if there’s anything new in her food bowl. There isn’t, but she’s an optimist.

Lexi gapes at me. “I always want to know your opinion.”

I gently say, “Sometimes you kind of just like to talk.”

“That is so rude!” We stare at each other and her shoulders relax. “Do I really do that?” Waving her hand, she says, “Don’t answer.”

I offer her my beverage. “Want some?”

Scrunching her nose, she shakes her head and kicks off flip-flops. “I want to hear your opinion.”

“I was going to say that whenever you want out of something, you look for reasons why you don’t fit in there. And then that gives you the excuse to just follow your heart. If you just gave yourself permission to be happy, you wouldn’t need the disclaimers.”

Lexi tilts her head. “Wow, that’s pretty insightful. Are there any other things about me I should know about?

Taking a sip, I consider this. “Just one.”

She shifts her weight, saying a slow, “I’m listening.”

I could tell her that Brad is an asshole who doesn’t deserve her and it hurts me every time she plays his stupid games and even creates some of her own. “I love you.”

Lexi lunges to give me a hug while I hold my smoothie away so it doesn’t spill. “I love you, too.”

I left my phone on the coffee table so I could call Logan, so when it rings and his name lights up the screen, I freak out. “Oh my God, he’s calling me!” Snatching it, I stare at the thing like it’s a miracle, which it kind of is. “This is the first time he’s called me first in over three months since he left! This is huge! You know how huge this is?”

Lexi smirks, “Are you going to answer it?”

“Oh!” I leap off the couch. “Logan, are you there?”

He sounds relieved. “I’m here. I catch you in the middle of something?”

“I was talking to Lexi in the other room and didn’t hear my phone. How was your weekend? How were the performances? Did you have fun? What’s the craziest thing that happened?”

With a laugh he points out, “You sound like you had five cups of coffee.”

With a huge grin I roll my eyes to Lexi who is shaking her head at me. “I guess it was because I just ran into the room. I heard a noise. Turns out it was my phone. I don’t know.”

“The craziest thing that happened this weekend is that we learned we’re going on the road. Starting with Frankfurt. Can you believe it, Sam? Germany!” My happiness goes hollow as he continues, “We heard the rumor we’d be extended, like I told you last Monday, remember? But what Galloway didn’t tell us was that it wouldn’t be in New York. Nobody in our loft has been to Germany, Sam! I looked at pictures of Frankfurt and it looks so cool I can’t even believe my luck. The guys and I celebrated all night long!”

“That’s amazing. How long will you be there?”

“Six months to start. We might travel from there if we get booked in different countries. I’m just learning how this works, and every one is different, but some of the theaters will hire acts to bring in new blood just for a weekend.”

I lean against the wall and cover my face. “Six months?”

He pauses. “You okay?”

Dropping my hand I force a smile. “I’m great. I was just wondering how we’re going to do our phone calls.”

“I looked into it already. There’s a free app you can use when you’re overseas.”

My heart skips. “You looked it up?”

“Yeah.”

“Because you want to keep up the phone calls?”

“Because I want to keep talking to you, Sam.”

The tone in his voice turned me around and I lay my forehead against the wall, closing my eyes. “That would make me really happy.”

“We promised, didn’t we?”

I don’t have the ability to speak. I felt like I was doing the heavy lifting, always the one to dial him. This little show of how much he cares tears me up inside. In the best way. And maybe the worst, too.

The voices of his roommates get louder as they approach, calling his name and saying things like, “Germany, motherfuckers!” “That’s right, I’m going to get my lederhosen on!” “No shows until Wednesday!” “Let’s light this up!”

Logan laughs, “Sam, I’ve got to go.”

“Yeah Sam, he’s got to go! To Frankfurt! To dance his German-loving ass off!”

“Talk next Monday,” he casually says before hanging up.

I’m standing here with my face against the wall. From where she sits on the couch watching me, Lexi asks, “The show is traveling?”

I turn around, hand dropping to my side as I stare at my big sister. “Yep pretty exciting.”

“You look overjoyed.”

“And happy for him,” I sarcastically add. “I bet I look really happy for Logan.”

She pats the cushion. I trudge over and flop down. “I have worse news.”

Lifting an eyebrow, I ask, “What?”

“I drank your smoothie.” She offers a weak smile at her weak joke. “Are you sorry you didn’t continue on with the production, Sam? Because if it were me, I would be dying right about now.”

I have to think about it. “No, I don’t want to do what he’s doing. Is it weird that I like staying in Atlanta?”

“Maybe. But not everybody wants that flashy lifestyle. Look at Zoe. Can you imagine her with a huge audience staring at her? That would be a nightmare, not a dream. We all have different things that we want, Sam, and I think that’s what makes the world go round. If we all wanted the exact same thing, can you imagine? Chaos. Bloodshed. No more ice cream left anywhere.” I laugh, and she smiles. “But if you don’t want to go on the road with the glamorous production like you always thought that you did, then why do you look so sad? Are you in love with Logan?” Lexi leans forward as if that will help her see into my heart. “Do you even know?”

“I just miss him.” Standing up, I lift my empty glass to carry it into the kitchen. “This is the longest I haven’t seen him. And it’s going to get longer. Isn’t that enough?”

As I walk away I don’t hear her whisper, “Wake up, Sammy.”