Chapter One
There had been a time when Joe believed he was getting over Axel. He didn’t think about the alpha as much and when he did, the pain wasn’t as sharp. But then Axel teamed up with Seth, Hunter, and Dara to rescue Max and Lucas from the Red Fangs. Him being carried back to the den, injured and bleeding, had brought to the surface every emotion Joe thought he’d buried.
The week Axel had spent recovering in the den was a week of sleepless nights as Joe struggled to contain his feelings. It was hard to look at Cade and Hunter without feeling a spark of jealousy. They had everything Joe wanted, more than Joe could ever have. But he knew what it had cost Hunter; the alpha had given up his pack. Joe had given up his pack too, not that it had helped him get what he wanted.
And now he was home in the Cove again. Dara’s litter had been born a week previously and the pack was still celebrating. Joe found it tough. Not just being home, and the awkward interactions with his family, but watching yet another happy couple, watching Dara and Seth have the kids he never would.
When it all became too much, he’d headed down to the beach. He wasn’t hiding. He was watching the ocean. It was soothing to his frayed emotions.
He was feeling off, he had been since a week or so after he’d returned. It was hard to pinpoint what the problem was. Just coming home after everything that had happened? Knowing Axel was there, so close and yet so far? It tore at him.
His body felt warm, his skin itched, and with the hot sun beating down on him, he didn’t need much by way of an excuse to wade into the water and go for a swim. He kept going, past the rock where people liked to sit, into deeper waters. The sea was cold, the sensation distracting in a good way, shocking his brain from the endless self-pitying circles it was going in.
He wasn’t expecting a cramp to hit him, his body trying to double over in the water as pain wracked him. The pain spread outward, to his arms, his legs, his whole body spasming. The water pulled him in, sucked him down and he started to panic, trying to get his limbs to cooperate, to get back to the surface.
Another spasm hit and he gasped, taking in a mouthful of water, twisting and turning in an attempt to escape what felt like tight bands surrounding his body. But there was no relief to be had, just the oppressing weight of the water on top of him and the burn of lungs desperate for air.
Warm arms surrounded him, yanking him upward and he broke the surface, taking a handful of gasping breaths. They were moving fast, back toward the shore. Another spasm hit him and he yelled out, struggling. The person holding him yelled back, shouting something unintelligible to Joe’s ears. He was hauled closer to the body supporting him, pulled tight to a wet chest. A familiar scent hit him. Axel.
The next minutes were a blur of sea and sun, just trying to breathe. The pain was easing, the spasms still intense but not quite taking his breath away. Axel was carrying him over his shoulder, wading through the now waist deep water.
And then they were on dry land and he was being set down onto the soft sand, Axel falling to his knees beside him. He coughed, trying to clear his throat of the water he’d swallowed. Hands cupped his face, dark eyes held his.
“Joe, what happened?”
“It hurts,” he ground out.
“What hurts?”
“Everything.”
“I should go back to the pack house, get you some help.”
Axel moved as if to stand but Joe was faster, grabbing hold of him with both hands. “No, wait. It’s… the pain is easing.”
It was, ebbing into the background. He could breathe a little easier.
He let go of Axel, his hands finding the soft sand beneath him and fisting handfuls of it.
“Are you sure? I really think I should get someone.”
“You mean like a medical professional?” Joe asked, quirking an eyebrow upward.
Axel looked sheepish, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.
“You may have a point. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“You saved me.” The action was painfully familiar, as was the sensation of Axel’s arms around him, carrying him to safety.
“I was up on the cliffs, I saw you. I wanted to come down and talk to you but then you were swimming. And then you went under.”
Axel’s arms were around him again, hugging him tightly. “When you didn’t come back up, I went in after you. Jesus, I thought it was a riptide or something.”
Joe was in danger of losing control of himself. He hadn’t been held in so long, his body was aching to be touched. But he knew the pain that came hand in hand with letting himself get attached.
Pulling back, he tried to distance himself with words. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I broke things off with Jessa.”
Jessa was the woman Axel’s family wanted him to mate with.
“I’m sure your parents are delighted with that.” Sarcasm was good, it kept space between them.
“I… haven’t broken the news to them yet. Jessa wants us to keep it quiet until after the Gathering next month, so they don’t try and mate her off with some stranger she’s never met. I don’t want to get forced into another mating either.”
“Aren’t the den helping out with the Gathering this year?”
“She doesn’t know that. It’ll be the first one they’ve been a part of. I think, once people see the results, they’ll be more confident.”
“But what about you? Don’t you want to see what match the Gathering would bring for you?”
Axel arched one eyebrow. “Why, are you taking part?”
Joe was tongue-tied. “What? No. Why would…What difference would that make?”
Axel looked away toward the sea, taking a deep breath before turning back to Joe.
“I think you know why. We don’t need a Gathering to tell us what we feel. Hell, we have two omega in the Cove right now who’ll be happy to give us their professional opinion.”
“A connection isn’t everything,” Joe insisted. “Shifters can have lots of potential connections, lots of potential mates.”
“I don’t care about potential connections. I care about what’s here, between us,” Axel said, gesturing from his heart to Joe’s. “All the time we’ve been apart I’ve spent staying busy, trying to keep my mind off you. But it hasn’t worked, Joe, not for one day.”
Joe could tell Axel meant every word, could hear the weight of emotion in his voice and yet…
“We’ve been here before, Axel. Our packs separated us. They made my life here unlivable. I lost my home, I’ve had to make a new one in the den. What happens when your dad puts his foot down again?”
“Things are different now.” Axel said that with so much confidence, Joe ached to believe him.
“What things? From where I stand, nothing has changed.”
“I’ve changed. My father isn’t who I thought he was. He doesn’t have the power over me that I believed he had. I defied him by going with the others to Red Fang’s arena. Hearing Zane talk, I mean, most of what he said was crazy but not all of it. My father’s way is the old way. It’s the way that’s led to us losing our power to shift. If I follow his wishes, nothing will change.”
“And if he exiles you?”
“It seems to have worked out well for Hunter.”
There was no denying Axel’s cousin was happy. But before he’d reconnected with his pack, he’d been adrift, lost. Pack was pack. And Joe wasn’t sure anything could replace that.
“So, what do you say? Are you willing to give this another try?”
Axel’s expression was earnest, full of hope.
“I need some time to think.”
The alpha’s expression fell, but he did his best to hide it, even managing to sound upbeat.
“Well, that’s better than an outright no. I’ll take what I can get. Do you feel up to walking back now?”
Joe gave himself a quick once-over. Ten fingers and toes, all moving pain-free.
“I think so.”
Axel stood and reached down. Joe laced his fingers with the alpha’s, letting the other man pull him to his feet.
“Ready?”
He managed a smile, his thoughts and emotions swirling. “Ready.”