I put my hand over my mouth and my sight stays on Tommy's bright blue eyes until I realize there are three other cowboys on my front porch.
“What the hell are you four doing?” I step onto the porch and close the door behind me.
“You didn't respond to my messages.” Tommy steps closer and grabs my hand. Before I can process what he's doing, he lifts it to glare at the marks on my arm. “He do this?” His eyes are wild.
My gaze hits my brother and he's glaring at my arm. I quickly yank it away and my elbow smacks the door.
“Ow!” I blurt, grabbing my arm because I hit it over another bruise. Tommy steps closer and takes my hand again. “Stop!” I push him back and scoot until my back's up against my front door. “What the hell are you four doing here?” My lip quivers but I refuse to cry.
“Bringing you home.” Tommy slowly steps closer to me, not giving a damn about personal space. “Where you belong. Where we can keep you safe.”
“Killing this Corey guy's pretty high on our list of shit to do today too,” Brandt speaks up.
“Stop,” I say sternly and drop my gaze from all of them glaring at me. I start to shake. “Corey's not here. I...I'm not going home. You four need to leave. How the hell did you find out where I live?”
“Google,” Chase says. “Kenshaw here's well versed in the art of stalking apparently.”
“You're coming home with us, Beany,” Tommy tells me sternly.
I look at my brother who's yet to say anything, and if I know him, he won't say much. Obviously Tommy didn't keep this between us like I asked him to. I should have known he wouldn't let it go, but I really hoped I'd be long gone from this country before he did something this stupid. If Corey hadn't flown out last minute early this morning, he would have been here and this probably would have been a blood bath. These cowboys will use fists before guns, and Corey wouldn't wait around for that. God, I regret going home for the funeral. I should have drove in and left the same day. What happened wasn't supposed to happen! None of it; Tommy seeing the bruises, him making me actually feel desired for the first time in years. But I've gotten my shit together. Partially. I'm going into hiding until I get the word he signed the divorce papers.
“You need to leave. Seriously. Bo, please.” They are nowhere in my plans of ending this with Corey.
He shakes his head no and the look on his face is like he might break down, but my brother doesn't cry.
“Tommy, please leave. You need to stay out of this. And now you've brought all three of them into it,” I groan and cover my face briefly while I try to think.
“I'm not leaving without you in that truck, Affton. And these boys don't give a damn about what's coming for them. He can't touch us. Just get in the damn truck, Beany. It's been a long fuckin' drive.”
I look from face to face, they're all noticeably tired, but they're also incredibly stupid. I reach back and open my front door. I don't have a plan. All thought has seized momentarily. Taking a step up, I stand in my foyer while they wait on the porch like puppies, anxious to come in. I slowly close the door, leaving them out there then lock it. Maybe if I ignore them... What the hell am I doing? I huff and grab the manila envelope that holds my divorce petition. I was just on my way out, but I wasn't going south. I wasn't bringing my danger home.
When I set the envelope on the table, I jump as the back door slides open and Brandt waltzes in like he lives here.
“Jo taught me how to pick locks. That fancy shit you got on that front door is too confusing. Thank god for rich people not thinking to make their back door as safe.” He walks over to the front door and opens it. The three other boys step inside my house.
“Bo,” I blurt while he heads toward me like a hurricane. Panic fills me and I start backing up, almost tripping over the chair while I try to get away from him because I don't know what he's going to do to me.
“Bo, stop!” Tommy blurts, rushing between us and I grab the back of his shirt, cowering from my brother. “You can't fuckin' do that to her, man. Not cool.” He turns to face me and cups my cheek. “You alright?”
“You have to leave, please,” I whisper as my eyes fill with tears. “He's not here, but there's video surveillance. I never wanted to involve you guys.” Before Tommy can say anything, I'm yanked away from him and I yelp until my brother wraps me in his arms.
“You're my goddamn sister,” he says like I cut his throat. “You used to tell me everything.”
“I'm s-sorry.” My tears start when I hear he's crying and I push into his hug. “I don't want you involved in any of this.”
He lets me go and holds me at an arm's length so he can search my arms; I quickly push my sleeves down.
“Hey, Affton, this one of those fancy ass surveillance cameras?” Chase yells from the porch through the open front door. Before I can respond, he rips it off its mounting and smashes it under his boot. “One down. How many more to go?”
“Got one!” Brandt yells and I hear the sound of him breaking it from its mount.
“How many more are there, Beany?” Tommy asks, still at my side.
“Don't. Please don't,” I beg, shaking my head, unable to believe they're here right now. He joins the others with no regards toward my wishes.
I don't know why I bother, they don't listen. Bo actually walks to the cabinet in the living room and starts ripping the cable box, the surveillance monitor, and all the systems off the shelf, smashing them to the ground.
Chase runs up the stairs and my stomach rolls at the sound of the ruckus before he throws a lens over the banister.
“It's like this fucker's watching your every goddamn move, Affton!”
I'm paralyzed to my spot while they tear the house apart, looking for more cameras. It's not like he has them installed to watch me. They're for protection. But telling that to these four is pointless.
“Beany, we're getting you out of here.” Tommy's breathing is making his chest rise and fall like he's about to explode.
“Look!” I offer and point toward my bag. “I was leaving!” I insist. “I-I came to my senses! I'm leaving! You guys, please leave! I'm not staying! You can go home.” I drop to my knees to beg until my brother pulls me up and wraps his arms around me.
“Come on, we're going home, Affton.”
“No, Bo.” I try to push away from him but his arms tighten. “Bo,” I shriek when he lifts me off the ground. I start flailing but soon Tommy grabs my legs so I can't kick. “You can't do this! Bo! Don't be fucking insane! Thomas!” I shriek while they carry me toward the front door and as I look behind us, Chase picks up my suitcase. “Bo!” I flail as hard as I can and he loses his grip, almost dropping me.
He lets out a grunt and I think he's going to put me down, but Tommy grabs me and Brandt grabs my legs. I'm still trying to fight but I'm not getting out of their holds. I don't know how but their restraints are somehow softer and they seem more caring than when Corey does it. That idea is more insane than me convincing myself Corey doesn't mean it each time he hurts me.
“This is fucking abduction!” I growl while Tommy pushes me into the backseat of the huge truck.
“It was going to be murder but he ain't here right now,” he grunts, slamming the door after he slides in next to me. “This is all of us cowboys saving your life, Bean.”
“Hey, thanks for packing that shit up for me. I was about to go through all your drawers,” Chase says, sliding in next to me on the other side.
“You cannot fucking do this!” I'm panicked and shocked. Even though I was leaving, it wasn't like this. These guys weren't involved! “Bo! Please, please! Think about this! Please! I have a fucking job!”
Bo ignores me and I look over at Tommy who won't look at me. I feel like I could be sick. That entire scene looked like four cowboys just broke into my house and abducted me. Jesus fucking Christ. This is going to be on the news...until Corey gets the divorce papers and the threatening letter that I'll uncover everything he's ever done to me if he doesn’t go through with filing.
I try to reach over Tommy to open the door and jump out as Bo starts the truck.
“Don't,” Tommy's pained voice stops me. “Jesus, Affton, please don't be that stupid.” His hand finds mine and I think he's about to restrain me again, but he wiggles my wedding rings off my finger. I open my palm for them but he rolls down the window and throws them with so much anger he grunts.
“You fucking assholes!” I scream at the top of my lungs and Chase is the first one I hit. Then I elbow Tommy in the gut and I try to scramble over one of them for a door, but if I throw myself out of this truck, I'll die. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore.
Giving up on busting out of the truck, I start flailing, hitting all of them. It doesn't make me feel any better; it just makes me break into sobs when Tommy finally wraps his arms around me, controlling me.
“Beany, stop,” he whispers. “It's okay. It's gonna be okay.” His arms hold me tight so I can't lash out again. “We got you.”
“This is a mistake,” I mutter a few times. “I have to go into hiding. You don't understand,” I try to plead with Tommy again. “I left him. I was leaving him!” I insist. “I was going to Mexico for a while. I was leaving him, Tommy! Now you're just making things worse! He'll find me. Find all of us! Bo! Please! Someone listen to me.”
Bo only responds by pressing on the accelerator.
“You ain't getting out of this truck, Affton,” Brandt says, resting his head back on the headrest. “Maybe you should take a nap.”
“You were going to Mexico without telling me?” Tommy whispers.
“Oh, here we fucking go,” Chase mumbles, curling against the door.
“Forget about me!” I scream in Tommy's face. He doesn't understand that Corey has no mental stability anymore!
“I can't fucking forget about you!” His face is red as he screams back at me. “I tried! For fucking years I tried! And then...this?!” He waves to my arms. “No! Fuck!” He punches the seat in front of him.
“Yo, I’m sleeping!” Brandt bitches. “And Affton, it’s not cool that you planned on leaving without telling him. Sucks to do that to people that love you.”
“Lay the fuck off,” Bo growls, shoving Brandt.
“Tommy,” I whimper and grab his hand. “Please, please.” I shift as much as I can in this tight space so I can look him in the face. “Please bring me back home and let me leave on my own. You go home. I'll contact you when it's safe. Please, you promised you wouldn't tell.” I hold his hand tighter and my tears fall to our fingers.
“You also told me you'd come back that night.” He clears his throat but I see the glistening in his eyes. “Beany, I gave you so much time to contact me. I texted you so much. A month ago I told you you had a month and look where that got us.” He blinks and swipes at his eyes. “Hate me all you want for this, but I don't regret a single second of breaking that promise. I just wish I had done it sooner. Maybe...maybe if I had he wouldn't have gotten to you again.”
“You're signing my death certificate,” I whisper because I'm fighting back a sob.
Letting his hand go, I shift in my seat to look forward and drop my head. The space back here is tight. I'm surrounded by men that won't back down now that they're involved. Closing my eyes, dread turns my sick stomach.
“We'll keep you safe, Affton,” Brandt finally speaks up. “We wouldn't have done this if we didn't think we could all take care of this situation. You're one of us. We don't let any of ours get tossed around like that.”
“I'm not one of you. I left,” I mutter. “I left you all and I didn't plan on ever returning. This isn't a game. This isn't like you boys scuffling in the dirt fighting over a girl. This is life and death and it's me that will die for this.” My lip quivers and I shake my head. “Why don't any of you care? Bo?” My voice squeaks and the only response is his jaw going tense.
“He's not fuckin' touching you again, Affton.” Tommy won't even look at me while he makes that claim. “He'll never lay another hand on you.”
I clamp my lips because there's no getting through to any of them. I'm not sure if I fucked up more by letting my life turn to this, or by telling Tommy the truth. I don't want to die, but more importantly than that, I don't want any of them or their families in danger.
The ride's silent besides the never-ending country music. A few songs take me back to being a kid and a nostalgic feeling warms me from the inside, but then I remember the situation I'm in and it quickly fades.
When we stop for food and to use the bathroom, Bo follows me to the women's.
“You've got to be shitting me.” I stare at him with my eyes wide.
“Give me your phone.” He puts his hand out.
“Bobby Hart, I swear to God I'll whoop you worse than our granddaddy did when you lit firecrackers in the cows' barn.” I don't know where that southern tone or slang came from, but I'm so angry right now, my ears are hot.
“I'm worried you'll run off to call him.”
“Bo.” I lean against the wall and break down. “I'm trying to get out. Trying to better my life.”
“And we're going to help you.” He's still holding out his hand.
“No, you're going to end up getting hurt.”
His jaw sets and I know the look on his face. He's never liked it when someone told him he'd get hurt.
“Phone, Affton.”
“You're making a mistake,” I mutter, slapping my phone into his palm before going into the bathroom.
I didn't plan on calling Corey; I needed to call my lawyer and Diamond. Diamond is the only one that knows I was going on a hiatus. She doesn't have the details but she doesn't need them.
A million escape plans run through my head, but I know I won't get away from them, so I get back into the truck, wanting to get this ride over with.
When Tommy gets in on my right I scoot away from him, until Chase gets in on my left. With a huff I sit pinned between these boys and try to devise a plan, but I can't think anymore.
“He's going to find out where I am,” I mutter when we're back on the road.
“He won't,” Tommy whispers. “You never told the man where you were from. Right?” He looks over at me and cocks an eyebrow. “Too ashamed of your roots? Guess that was the one good thing you did in the last few years. The man doesn't know where to start.”
“Oh fuck you, Tommy,” I hiss and fling myself forward. “Brandt!” I yank at his arm, not sure what I'm trying to do but I need away from Tommy. “Let me up front! Move, switch seats,” I'm pulling at him, but he's not budging.
“Not a chance in the world, Affton,” Brandt says, not even bothering to look at me.
“Brandt smells like day old cow manure,” Chase mutters.
“Then you switch. Come on. Switch.” I pull at him, trying to slide under, then over, but he's not moving either.
“Tommy, your girl's tryin' to get all up on this.” Chase laughs, pushing away from me and getting as close to the door as possible.
Tommy doesn’t say anything. He sits there, staring out the window shaking his head.
“Please! Someone! Bo, let me drive.”
Bo snickers and shakes his head, turning up the music.
Tommy Barns is the best and worst thing to happen to my life, but right now, worst is outweighing best.
“You'll all regret this,” I grumble, crossing my arms and sitting back.
Tommy turns to me, more fire in his eyes than I've ever seen before. “The only thing I regret is not savin' your ass a month ago when you ran out on me and back to the asshole that did that to you.” He nods to my arm. “And I'm sure there's more under that pretty face of makeup you painted on. I ain't scared of him. Your brother and I were hopin' to have a little chat with him today but the fucker wasn't there. I say let his ass come to the ranch. We'll be waiting.” He lays his head back on the seat.
“He's not gettin’ to you with all of us around,” Brandt states.
I sigh and drop my shaking head back. They're all bullheaded. Stubborn. Delusional. None of them understand because...none of them have ever been in this situation. Only I would get myself in a situation like this. I talked a big game when I was younger and I grew up to be a person I would at one point criticize.
“You can't do this to me,” I whisper, turning my head so I can see Tommy.
“I can and I fucking will,” he growls. “End of story, Affton.”
“You're not going to control me!” I scream at him, not prepared for my own outburst.
Tommy's eyes are wide and a small smirk flashes on his lips right before he slams his lips to mine, his hand snakes around my head and through my hair. A low growl escapes him. He pulls back just as quick as the kiss happened and his eyes lock on mine.
“Good. Don't let anyone control you again.”
“Well...” Chase whistles. “Brandt, I'm comin' up there before they fuck.”
I tuck my fists under my legs and chance a look toward the rear-view mirror where my brother's eyes keep flashing from us to the road. I clamp my bottom lip between my teeth and drop my head back, closing my eyes before they all notice what's going through my head.
I've said it once, and I'll probably say it a thousand more times. Tommy Barns is the best and worst thing to happen in my life.
As we get closer to home, my heart starts to hammer. Bo's had my phone since our first stop and I'm terrified to find out what's waiting for me.
I want to know where I'm going. Whose house I’m supposed to stay at. How long they plan on keeping this up. But I don't want to talk to any of them, and even though my lips have been tingling since Tommy kissed me, I don't want him to pull that again in front of my brother. When we make it to the Kenshaw Ranch, I exhale a sigh. My sight darts out the windshield and I see three women all walking toward the truck. Brandt's, Bo's, and Chase's wives are headed for us and I couldn't feel any more stupid than I do right now. I'm sure they all fucking know. And I'm sure they're all wondering why the fuck their husbands just drove for almost two days to kidnap me.
“Tommy.” I grab his wrist before he gets out.
He looks at me and I can't read the look on his face. He's tired, but it's more than that. “Come on, Bean,” he mutters, popping his door open.
With a sigh, I let his wrist go and follow behind him. When my brother whips around and his eyes land on me, I shrink back and slowly drift behind Tommy. Bo turns around to talk to Kinlee again and I exhale a held breath.
“Please get me out of here,” I whisper at Tommy's back.
He reaches behind him and takes my hand. ”I'm gonna grab her bag, Bo,” he says, nodding toward the truck. “I think we're heading out.”
“You're what?” Bo's expression says more than his words are.
“I'm taking her back to my place.” Tommy stands his ground. I notice Brandt cross his arms and watch Bo carefully, Chase's stance almost mimicking it. “We'll be fine,” Tommy mutters.
“Bo, what the hell did you think would happen when you dragged me here?” I quietly ask my brother but six sets of eyes are on me right now and this conversation is far from private.
“You're coming to my place, Affton. No room for discussion.”
“I think she'd be better at Tommy's,” Kinlee speaks up, stepping in front of Bo and turning to look up at him. “Our house is kind of insane with Bobby there.” She shrugs. “She can at least get some rest at Tommy's.”
I'm too tired for this. I'm too old to be treated like this. And I'm too exhausted to put up a fight anymore.
Still holding Tommy’s hand, I try to walk away but abruptly stop when someone grabs my other hand and I look back at Bo. “She's my goddamn sister, Tommy,” Bo quietly growls.
“She is. But I need her at my place. And I really hope you can accept that.”
“Affton Hart.” A voice comes from my right and everyone looks. “I thought I was seein' things when I saw you at your mom's funeral. And right now, I'm not sure if my eyes are playin' tricks on me again.” Garrison Kenshaw looks from my face down to my hand that Bo's holding, trying to pull me one way. Then he looks to the hand Tommy has, trying to pull me the other direction. “So what's all this about? What're you doing back?”
I yank my hands away from both of them. “Impromptu trip and these boys are so happy to see me, they can't decide whose house I should stay at.”
“Yeah well.” He looks from Bo to Tommy with a stern glare. “Always plenty of room at ours if they can't figure it out.” Looking at me again, he tips his Stetson. “Nice to see you again. You need anything, come see me or Donna.”
Everyone remains quiet until he walks away and then I huff. “Bo, I'll be fine at Tommy's. I won't be here long anyway.” I turn my back but quickly spin around. “Girls, I never wanted your husbands showing up for me. So I'm sorry I took them away from their families and responsibilities, but you all have some stubborn cowboys on your hands.”
The three of them laugh.
“Don't we know it,” Kinlee says, smiling sweetly. “I'm glad they did what they did. And I'm glad you're okay. We hope you stay.”
I give her what I'm hoping is a smile, but I'm too drained to know what emotions I'm portraying. “You know where to find me, Bo,” I mutter while he hands my phone over to Tommy before nodding and pulling me in for a quick hug.
“Get rest. There's a lot to catch up on.”
I snicker. They all think this is some sort of grand family reunion. No one realizes what this actually means.
Bo follows Tommy to his house since Tommy had his bike at the ranch and there’s no way I’m getting on that death trap. The ride is silent, mostly because I have nothing to say to my brother. When we walk inside Tommy's I take my suitcase and stand in his living room, almost in shock I'm here right now. I don't know what to do.
“Can I have my phone?” I grumble, holding out my hand.
“No.” That's the only response I get before he heads for his bedroom. “You know where the bedroom is. Make yourself at home.”
A sudden burst of energy flits through me in the form of rage and I stomp to his door and kick it. “I need my fucking phone, Tommy! I have to call my office! I don't work on a motherfucking farm!” I scream so loudly my throat hurts. “I have an office job! You son of a bitch!” Kicking his door again, my eyes fill with tears.
The door swings open and he's standing there with my phone to his ear. Before I can register what's going on, he starts to talk. “Hi, Diamond?” He's locked his eyes on mine and he's not budging from his spot. “Yeah, Tommy again. Yeah no she's fine.” He chuckles. “Don't worry about her. But can you do me a favor and let everyone know she's going to be taking some time off?” His eyes lock on me. “Great. Thanks for everything. I owe you more than you'll ever know.” He ends the call and shoves my phone in his back pocket, stepping closer to me. “There. That's taken care of. I like her.” He smirks.
I stare in utter shock, quickly brushing away a tear. “You have no idea what you're doing,” I inform him before turning to walk away.
His gentle fingers wrap around my wrist. “I don't think you know how much everyone here loves you, Affton.”
“This is all a game to you guys.” I look him in the eyes and hold my head high, but I don't feel strong right now. I'm scared shitless. “This is my life. And now you've gotten people in my office involved. You've seen what he's capable of and you don't think twice about pissing him off. You don't know what you're doing,” I tell him again.
He watches me, his jaw tight, and shakes his head. “I'm sorry you feel that way, Beany.”
There's so many emotions running through me right now, but I only know how to get it out as anger. I grit my teeth. “Stop calling me that. I grew up, Tommy.”
He blinks a few times. “I'm gonna take a nap, Affton.” He sounds defeated. “I'm sure your brother's watching this house right now, knowing Bo. Don't try to leave.” The bedroom door closes in my face.
Storming to the front door, I step onto the porch until I see my brother's big black truck across the street by the fence. This is insanity!
How I usually deal with insanity is to avoid it. And now that I don't have a job anymore, the only place to hide is in this bedroom. For the next few days I hear Tommy moving around the house. The smell of cleaning products have filled the air. Country music has blared through what sounds like a surround sound system. We haven't talked; we haven't even come face to face with each other. Yesterday I got caught up watching him through his kitchen window while he played in his yard with that goat like it's a dog. Shirtless, sweating, jeans riding low. For a few minutes I forgot who I was, what I've been through. I allowed myself to enjoy the boy that I used to like, who's since turned into a man that I'm finding myself craving. I didn't go blind or ignorant in the past seven years of hell. But damn if I don't feel guilty ogling him because I'm technically still a married woman. And there's not one part of me that thinks I deserve to lust after him.
The next time I leave the room, it's to see if I can find anything to eat. I'm really starting to feel like a prisoner. It's my own fault though. Tommy is my oldest friend, I should be able to walk up to him and talk all of this out, but I'm just not ready to talk. I don't want to relive everything and then try to figure out a plan with a man that shouldn't be involved. I'm throwing a fit; caught in disbelief that my life has continued to spiral so out of control. I'm not really sure what he wants from me. I know he wants me better, my mind to go back to the Affton I once was, but he's not seeing the bigger picture. He says he'll protect me, and I know he will, but he's not fully comprehending what he's protecting me from. Right now, to him, I need protection from myself. I need to be kept away from technology so I don’t contact my husband. He's not realizing contacting Corey is the last thing on my mind. I want to know if he filed the papers. I want to know if I'm still employed through Trenton or if I've burned the biggest bridge I have in the fashion industry. I want to know if Cultured Relief has even considered my proposal.
It's going on a few days of avoiding him, and I'm realizing he's avoiding me too. He probably doesn't know what to say at this point. His plan ended once he got me here. He probably came to his senses after the deed was done and he's realizing he made a huge mistake. I'm not the girl he remembers. I'm not the strong, take-no-shit Affton he liked spending time with. I put up a good front, but I'm mentally broken down, possibly beyond repair.
Bored out of my mind, I fall asleep just after nine but I'm woken before midnight from a dream that felt too real. Real enough that I'm shaking so hard my body hurts, and I'm pouring sweat while panting heavily. When my eyes adjust to the dark, I can see Corey isn't waiting by to drive a knife through my chest like I was dreaming, but I can't calm down.
The tremors in my body won't stop and going back to sleep isn't an option because the image of Corey is haunting me now. Pulling my sweat dampened hair back, I pull my robe closed tight and stumble out of the bedroom. In the bathroom I wash my face, brush my teeth, and try to tell myself that it was just a dream, but it doesn’t seem to matter. There's one person that I know will take this feeling away and he's the one guy that probably regrets ever knowing me.
I softly knock on his closed bedroom door feeling guilty it's almost midnight but I just need...to talk. I need his comfort. That's why he dragged me here, right? To comfort me. Protect me.
“Tommy?” I knock again but he doesn't open the door. I close my eyes and rest my forehead against the wood before making my way to the kitchen for hopefully a strong drink. Maybe it'll help me sleep.
In the kitchen I see him on the back deck with his goat and I hesitantly make my way out the door. He's got a drink in his hand, looking like we had the same idea tonight.
“Hey,” I whisper, sitting in the chair next to his.
“What're you doin' up?” With his eyes fixed on the horizon, he won't even look over at me.
The reason I'm up hits me full force again and tears fill my eyes. I bend my legs and rest my elbows on my knees so I can cover my face. I open my mouth to answer him three times but I don't want to break up the lump in my throat and start bawling. My head shakes while I try to muffle my tears with my hands.
“I’m sorry I did this to you,” he finally says. “I didn't think through what would come of all this. I never thought you'd hate me for it, Affton.”
My sob escapes and I drop my legs, quickly getting up to push myself into his arms and bury my face in his shoulder. “I don’t hate you,” I cry, holding him tight. “I'm sorry. I don't hate you.”
“I...” He clears his throat, wrapping his arms around me. “I don't know how to make this better.” Taking a deep breath, he gently grabs my face to look at me. His hands push back the wild strands of hair that have fallen out of my ponytail and his eyebrows push together. “I never meant for it to be like this, Affton.”
“I understand why—” I hiccup. “You did this, but he'll find me.” I shudder and move from standing over him while crying. “I don't want to th-think about him. I had a bad dream about it all.” Wiping at my face, I look toward the kitchen door not sure if I should just go back in and battle this alone like I always have.
He pushes out of his chair and opens his arms for a hug, giving me the smallest hint of a grin. “Come on. These always used to do the trick back in the day.”
With a chuckle, I shake my head but move in for the comfort, pushing my face against his chest. The longer we stand here, the more emotional I get and I break down in heavier tears.
He steps back, his hand trailing down my arm until his fingers link in mine. Without words, he turns and walks into the house, not letting go of my hand and forcing me to follow him. Leaving the lights on. Leaving his drink on the back porch, he heads for his bedroom.
“I haven't slept in four days,” he murmurs, pulling his shirt over his head then shoving the covers back on the bed. “Come on then.”
I stare at the man and think back to when we were younger. He's still my Tommy, but there's so much more to him and I don't want to fight the feelings I have for him, but I'm not ready to pretend the past seven years haven't happened. I just can't see us going back to good friends with awesome benefits.
I clear my throat and move toward his bed. If there's any chance of me sleeping tonight, it's going to be in this bed with him because I'm still shaken from my dream. I slide my robe off and put it on the end of the bed, but when his eyes drop to the fading bruises, I freeze.
He grabs my hand and pulls me to the mattress, silently wrapping his arms around me as tight as he can. “I'm not hurting you, am I?” His tone says everything he won't right now.
“No.” I push against him, hating I haven't had this for years. I've always deserved this, so why did I settle for less?
*
I wake up alone and it explains my uneasy feeling. I slept hard, only waking up periodically in a panic, but with Tommy close, it was easy to fall back asleep.
Tommy seems angrier toward me and he has reason to be but I don't know how long we can go back and forth like this.
As I head for the shower in my robe and towel in hand, I see the back of a black head of hair and there's only one cowboy I know around here with hair that dark. Grant Matthews.
“Tommy?” I call out walking toward the kitchen.
“He's at work,” Grant calls from the living room. “You're with me today.” He hops over the back of the couch and grins, walking toward the kitchen. “So, what's on the agenda?” His casual lean against the doorframe pisses me off.
“With you today? You're babysitting.” I clamp my jaw and grip my towel tight against my chest.
“I'm here to make sure your every need is met.” He does a dramatic bow then grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Need me to start your shower?”
I push past him and storm into the bathroom. I'd call and bitch Tommy out, except I have no phone. I'm not allowed a fucking phone!
A hot shower calms my fraying nerves and then I spend an hour on my makeup. As I'm making something to eat, basking in anger again because Grant’s still here, I hear him moving around behind me.
“Making early lunch?” He sits at the kitchen table. “Can we have eggs? I've been here since five a.m., I'm starving.”
I drop the loaf of bread, still holding my butter knife and turn around to glare at him. “I am a thirty-five year old woman and you're all treating me like a goddamn child! What is wrong with you guys?” I shout at him.
“Think of it more like grandma day camp. You're old enough for AARP, right?” He laughs but the look I give him makes it abruptly stop. “Listen,” he says, sighing. “You're the closest thing I've ever had to a real sister. Strangely...” He pauses like he's deep in thought then shudders. “Anyway. What happened to you makes my blood boil. As with all the other guys, and girls, in town that care for you. And until this little brainwashing scheme he pulled dies down, yeah, we're gonna keep tabs on you. Just to make sure you don't run back to that asshole.” With a shrug, he smugly bites into an apple.
This is unbelievable!
“Plus, just get used to seeing me around. I practically live here. I have a room here.” His teeth crunch into the apple again and the sound reverberates in my head.
I’m going to lose it.
“Take me to my brother's,” I say calmly, but when he cocks his eyebrow, I grip the butter knife tighter. “Take me to his house! Fucking now! Now!” I storm to the front door. I'll fucking walk!
“Whoa! Affton, stop!” Grant blurts, running after me. “Jesus!” He laughs, practically falling on me as I reach the door. “Can't we just hang out? Like we all used to? Come on, let's go play pool, or head to the creek. I got the good shit from a guy Chase knows. It'll take all those worries in that pretty head away.” He taps my head and I jerk away from him.
I storm out the door and start marching down the gravel road. It's miles to Bo's, I'd hit the farm first, but it's miles to the farm too. I need to ask my brother, or Tommy, or both of them, what the hell they think they're doing! This is my fucking business they've made so public and it's ruining my life even more.
“You're in sandals, Affton.” Grant keeps pace with me. “Those are going to leave nasty blisters.” He chuckles when I don't respond. “So where are we headin'?”
I glance over at him and my eyes catch the carabiner hanging off his belt loop with his keys on it. Moving quickly, I grab the clip and unlatch it, dashing back to his truck. I jump in and shove the key in the ignition, but he grabs the door before I can slam it closed.
“You're still fuckin' nuts!” He laughs. “At least let me drive. You probably forgot how to drive somethin' this country.” He pauses and smirks at me. “Unless you and Tommy...” He wiggles his eyebrows and I groan, scooting over to the passenger seat.
“Take me to my brother's house,” I say in a low tone that's anything but calm.
“I'll take you to the Walmart. I'll even take ya a town over. Maybe even to the ranch. But there's no way in hell I'm taking you to your brother's. I'm being paid to keep you here. And your brother scares the shit out of me.”
“What?” I shriek and glare at him. “You're being paid! Take me to the fucking ranch! You're all dead for this, Grant Matthews. Remember when you pissed on Mindy Cedars' leg because you were so drunk you couldn't get up? I'm fucking telling everyone!”
He gets in and puts the truck in reverse. The drive is silent until we can see the ranch in the distance. “I'm sure people already know I pissed on her,” he mumbles. “We're just tryin' to keep you safe, Affy. No need to get so nasty with us.” He turns into the driveway and doesn't say another word as he parks the truck.
“Fuck you, Grant. I hope I'm a good paycheck for ya.” I jump out and look around, not sure where anyone is until I see the redhead in the field on a horse. I storm that way, hoping she can help but then I hear laughter that chills my already cold blood. My fucking brother is laughing it up in the barn with Kenshaw. Oh, and low and behold, Tommy's having a gay ole time too.
I storm through the open door. “Brandt stole your bullfrog when you were in the tenth grade and accidentally killed it,” I spout at Bo. “And Bo bent the rim on your favorite dirt bike and let you get your ass whooped for it,” I snarl at Brandt. “And you!” I spin and glare at Tommy. “Grant and Tommy had sex in an airplane!” Damn that felt good. And I don't know if that last one is entirely true. I may have spun that one a little.
“I did what?” Tommy laughs.
“You broke my bike?” Brandt blurts, turning toward Bo. “I couldn't walk for a week after that!”
“I loved that frog,” Bo mumbles, staring at Brandt with so much hurt I roll my eyes.
“We never fucked!” Grant yells from behind me. “Tommy, what the fuck!”
“I didn't tell her that.” Tommy laughs. “Glad you've got it back though, Affton. And, Grant, fuckin’ great job makin' sure she don't leave the house.”
“Fuck you four. And Chase.” I turn in a circle but he's not here. “Is he around? 'Cause fuck him too,” I hiss. “All five of you. I bet you all go home to your beautiful wives every night and pity Affton for her fucked up life. I'm glad I'm the source of your fucking entertainment. I'm the reason you count your blessings because you have a good life.” I look at Tommy feeling nothing but humiliation that this has spread so widely. “You fucking lied to me. And you told everyone. Everyone I don't even know. Do you all feel good about yourselves now that I've got more problems than the rest of you?” I look around at each of them, shaking with anger and sadness while they stare with pity and disrespect.
“Affton.” Tommy moves toward me. “I did what I thought was best. I'm sorry you can't see that. Maybe one day you'll see we only had your best interest at heart.” He glances at Bo. “We're family here. All of us. Who cares who knows what. What matters is we're all here for whatever's comin' your way. Hell or high water, we're all a team here. And no one's happy you got problems. Hell, we've all got 'em. No one here's in any position to judge.”
“I married my step sister. How's that for making livin’ in this small town awkward?” Brandt laughs.
“Ooookay.” The petite girl with black hair walks around us and stands in the middle of the circle. “Really, Brandt?” She glares at him a minute before looking at me. “I don't think we properly met. I’m Brandt's step sister.” She throws him a shitty glance. “And wife. Jo. Those are our inbred kids runnin' 'round out there, y'all. Let's keep our voices down.”
I can't hold back when she puts on the hick accent and tears roll down my cheek with my laughter because the thought of Brandt Kenshaw marrying his step sister is hilarious.
“Baby, they ain't inbred.” He looks like a deer caught in headlights. “You don't really think that, do you? They're healthy football players!” he boasts, motioning toward the field. “We're not related!”
“Shut up, Brandt,” she snarls at him then reaches out and takes my hand. “I think the four of you idiots have done enough to this girl.” Before Jo can pull me out of the barn, Bo reaches for me, making me flinch back.
He takes a step away and quickly drops his hands he had raised in surrender. “Affton, I want to talk to you.”
I want to scream in his face, asking if he thinks he's done enough yet.
I follow him toward the corner and he slowly moves to put his arm on my shoulders and bends down. “I'm not embarrassed of you or anything that's happened to you. You make me proud and I'm happy I tried to live up to your standards my whole life. We didn't do this to humiliate you. We did this to show you we're your family. Not that asshole.”
My tears are steady so I just nod, not wanting to let on to everyone I'm crying, then I pull away and follow Jo out of the barn.
Jo takes me to her house and minutes later the redhead's walking through the back door. She's bubbly as hell and Jo keeps making fun of her, but they're best friends, and I feel like a third wheel. Especially when they scheme up a grand plan of taking a girls' trip. Me included. Jo calls Bo's wife to come over, and until she gets here, I silently eat the food Jo pushes on me.
“I gotta shit and Donna's maid is cleaning her bathroom so I'm going up to yours!” Kinlee barges in the back door. “Fuck, it's hot out there!”
I pick at the first real meal I've had in a week. Avoiding Tommy the past few days means I've been eating toast because the man doesn't cook. At least he hasn't since I've been here. Not that I would have eaten with him anyway.
“After she shits, we'll run the idea by her. We have to make her the ring leader because your brother's afraid of her,” Jo says.
I chuckle and keep my head down. I'd love to make friends out of these girls, but not out of sympathy like I have a feeling this is.
“Kin, your tits are looking huge today. Push up?” Jo asks when Kinlee comes waltzing into the kitchen, one arm holding her breasts up and the other hand fanning underneath them.
She stops in her tracks when she sees me. Slowly, she lowers her boobs and her eyes go wide.
“Hey, Affton,” she says, stunned. “I uh...” Her eyes flick to Jo who's trying not to laugh then back to me. “I didn’t know you were here. I had to use the restroom. It's pretty warm out there.” She bites her lips between her teeth, trying not to laugh but when I snort out a laugh, the other three start in.
“Don't stop fanning your lady parts on my account.” I wave her on.
“What's goin' on in here?” She walks over to the freezer and pops it open, practically shoving her head inside. “Why's it look like you three are having a pow-wow without me?”
“We were. Which is why I texted you to come over. Where's Little Bo?” Jo asks and my ears perk up.
The nephew I wasn't even allowed to hold. I wonder if Bo will let me interact with him now that he's holding me captive.
“Donna stole him the minute I pulled in the drive. She's got baby fever again, Jo.” She smirks at Jo and grabs an ice pack, shoving it down the front of her shirt and sighing. “So. Why the emergency meeting? The boys not behaving?” She sits at the table with an ice pack shoved between her boobs and Jo and Kaydence act like this is normal for Kinlee.
“They mean well,” Kaydence speaks up and gives me a meek smile. “But they're boys.” She giggles. “So...” Looking at Jo, she encourages her to take the reins.
“I think me, you, Kay, and Affton need a girls' trip to the spa. Just a day or two away from those idiots so Affton can unwind. This is probably the worst vacation she's ever taken.” She smiles over at me apologetically and I play along that this is a vacation and not an abduction. “We just need you to break it to her brother.”
“I see.” Kinlee laughs. “How long we thinking?”
“A week!” Kaydence blurts and they look at her like she's crazy. “Donna's not the only one with baby fever.” She sighs. “Chase has been go, go, go any second alone we get and I don't have the heart to tell him I'm still on birth control.” After wincing, she starts to laugh and I can't help but snort out my own laugh. These girls may not be as much of a mess as I am, but they've each got their issues. Kinlee's probably got the biggest issue. My brother.
“I hear that.” Kinlee shakes her head. “I'll work on him. Go ahead and plan it, schedule what you will. We'll help pay whatever it ends up costing. It's the least I can do for my husband kidnapping you.” She rests her hand on my arm and her eyebrows push together. “You're alright with this, right?”
No. Hell no. They don't like me because they want to. They're pretending to like me because they have to. I just don't see us all becoming the best of friends.
I shrug. “I'm kind of at...someone else's mercy anymore. I'm going with the flow.” I catch Jo staring at Kinlee, giving her a look like she agrees with my internal thoughts, but when she looks at me, she stands up.
“Great. You go tell the brute,” she tells Kinlee. “You go tell the bad boy.” She winks at Kaydence. “And I'll tell my step brother.” When she grins at me, I start to laugh again and shake my head.
It might not kill me.
We head toward the barn and I hang back a step because this is their idea, they can deal with the repercussions.
“Bo!” Kinlee yells, barging into the barn and I swear she just grew a foot. Everyone else is scared to death of the man. “Hey, I'm taking the girls to the spa,” she says, grinning and walking over to him, wrapping an arm around his side.
“Sure, darlin'.” He kisses the top of her head before putting his attention back on the saddle he's fiddling with.
“For a week.” She says it like he's not about to flip his top.
“Affton's here. She won't mind helpin' me with Bobby.” He smiles at her then me, but his attention's back on the saddle.
Kinlee lets out a laugh and lets go of his side. “Did you not hear me? I said I'm taking the girls. She's a girl, isn't she, Bo Hart?”
Catching on to what she means, he stands up taller, now towering over her. “Uh, no.” His eyes go from her to me. “She's my sister, not a girl. And she's not leaving more than a fifteen mile radius from me. You, Jo, and Kay can go have a nice time. Affton's fine 'round here.”
“She's my sister-in-law,” Kinlee snaps. “And you kidnapped her. I'm taking her to the spa, and I'm using your money to treat her to whatever she wants.” She crosses her arms. “We're leaving tonight.”
He pushes a fake smile on his face and takes her hand, gently walking her out of the barn. They quietly bicker and I look at Jo who's glaring at Brandt like she dares him to tell her no.
“You got something to say?” She tests him.
“Uh...” He rubs the back of his neck. “Have fun?”
“I always knew you were the smart one.” Walking up to him, she pops to her toes and kisses him. “Kay, call Chase! Girls’ trip!”
“I texted him.” Kaydence giggles and I study the cheerful girl. “He replied with six wide eye emojis and a gif of an angry bull. I think that's supposed to be Bo,” she whispers.
“What's supposed to be Bo?” Tommy walks in, setting his bag down and wiping his hands. “Hey, the goats are all tagged and ready to go.”
“Great,” Brandt says, still smiling as wide as he can but his eyes say he's terrified of the bull-headed man he's going to be left with when us girls leave. “So the girls are taking a trip, Tommy.”
“A trip?” Tommy's eyes flash to mine. “Where?”
“A spa.” I stare at him, wondering if he'll pull a Bo.
“Oh.”
Kinlee's voice yells from outside the barn. “I'll blue-ball your ass all month if you keep this up!”
Brandt snorts and Tommy can't hold back his chuckle. “Great. So...a spa? Like, for the day?” He walks over to me, glancing back at everyone else standing around. “You alright with that?”
My eyes are screaming no, but my brain's telling me to get the hell out of here while I can.
“I figured I'd have to check with the warden first.” I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him. “Warden?”
“I'm not the fuckin' warden, Affton.” He sighs. “Can I talk to you for a second? Privately?” He glances back at Brandt, Jo, and Kaydence who are all standing around trying to act like they're ignoring us.
“Is it about Grant's babysitting wages?”
He takes me by the elbow and pulls me outside, yanking off his hat to run his hand over his hair stressfully. “That wasn't my idea, just so you know. Your brother's a hard man to deal with.”
I snort and roll my eyes. “Kinlee does just fine,” I point out.
“The man's pussy whipped.” He chuckles then shrugs. “I'm not fucking him. I don't get that pull. Look, I'm sorry about Grant. I wish I could have taken the day off, but with all the time off lately my dad was starting to get bogged down. I had to help out.”
“Stop.” I raise my hand and drop my head with a sigh. “You're trying to justify why I need a babysitter. Just stop.”
“Affton. I don't know what you want me to say. I don’t like it either, but you already ran back to the guy once. We're pretty terrified you're going to do it again.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and gives a slight shrug. “Maybe just... I don't know, show us that you know you going back there is a bad idea? Maybe show you're not mad that we took you away from him?”
I step closer and poke him in the chest, lowering my voice. “I didn't go back to him. I went back to my life. I went back because I had to.” I poke him again and move even closer, expecting him to step back, but he doesn't. “I didn't go brain dead by being in an abusive relationship, Tommy. I know what's right and wrong.” I poke him again, needing to take a few steps back because being this close to him feels right, and that's wrong.
“Good,” he murmurs, closing the distance between us. “So go on this little trip. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.” He brings his fingers to my jaw, his eyes searching mine. “I'll be here waiting when you get back,” he whispers and I wait for him to lean down and kiss me. The scary part is I don't pull away, but the sad part is he doesn't do it.
Tommy's not my boyfriend or trying to fill a roll my worthless husband couldn't. He's my oldest friend and used to know me better than anyone.
“What if I don't come back?” I threaten, but I'm teasing. I have a feeling those girls are stricter than the cowboys they ride.
“You will.” He smirks, his lips finally press to mine and I grab his arms to keep myself steady. When he pulls back I want to ask what's going through his head, but we get interrupted.
“Hey, you... Shit!” Kinlee squeaks. “God, I'm so sorry. I uh... Forget I saw that.” She waves her arms in front of her. “Again. Worst timing, I swear.” Shaking her head she turns to walk back into the barn but stops herself. “Oh! We're leaving in thirty minutes. I gotta get Bobby to Wendy's on the way out of town. Then a full week at the spa!” she sings on her way into the barn.
“It'll turn into moms gone wild.” Tommy laughs. “You may end up being their DD if you're not careful.”
“God,” I groan.
“I'm kidding. Jo doesn't drink.”
I drop my forehead to his chest until he wraps his arms around me. I hug him back, not sure what we're doing, but I'd be lying if I said his affection didn't make me forget the abuse I've been through.
These girls can talk! They haven't stopped since we've gotten in the car. Luckily I’m used to bullshitting my way through mostly everything. When we finally arrive and get right into relaxing, I'm hesitant to expose too much skin because I'm not sure what bruises have yet to fade.
By day two, I unwind more, and conversation with the girls feels less forced. They're surprisingly more into my career than I thought a bunch of country girls would be. I suppose I used to be a country girl, so why wouldn't they be capable of liking something other than...cowboys?
I'd be lying if I said I haven't worried about what's going on back in California. But each time we hit the spa, it's only minutes before my worry is melted away with skilled hands and soothing scents and music.
Day three, these women want to party. Jo doesn’t drink but she claims this is the longest since she's been pregnant so she wants to dance. Kinlee wants to unwind with drinks and not feel like Bo's up her ass. My words, not hers. And Kaydence...sweet Kaydence just wants to do whatever we want to do. I wouldn't mind drinks and dancing so after we play dress-up and the girls have me do their makeup, we hit the club.
I look at Kaydence who's got another glowing pink drink and the girl can't stop giggling to save her soul. I never pictured Chase Haring ending up with a girl so...sweet. Smart man.
“Affton.” Jo sets my fifth glass of wine in front of me, then hands Kinlee a margarita.
“Thanks.” I smile at them. “I'm glad we did this.”
“Hey, so...not to put a cloud over our party, but, won't he know where you are by your bank statement?” Jo asks and winces.
It takes a minute for my drunk mind to process what she means.
“Oh!” I start to laugh, feeling pretty good right now. I haven't been drunk in a long time. “No. We have separate bank accounts. We never did merge them. Thank god,” I mumble, realizing that was the only gracious thing he ever did for me.
“Good for you,” Kinlee blurts. “Men suck.”
I cock my eyebrow before taking a sip of my wine. “You've texted my brother sixteen times since your last margarita,” I tease her.
“I have.” She giggles. “Wonder if he'd end up here if I stopped responding?”
“God, please don't,” I grumble. “If I had a fucking phone, I'd text him and tell him to fuck off.” I take a gulp of wine before grinning at her.
“They still haven't given you back your phone?” She gasps. “I told Bo to give it back to you two days ago!”
“Can't give mental patients sharp objects.” I smirk before taking another gulp.
“Screw him.” She pulls her phone out of her purse and shoves it at me. “Have at it, sister.” She smirks. “I'm sure there's someone you feel like talking to. You know, that's not sitting at this table right now.”
I furrow my brows and stare at the phone she keeps sliding closer and closer to me. “Um.” I laugh when she almost pushes it into my lap. “You really want me to text my brother and tell him to leave you the fuck alone? 'Cause he'll probably cry to you all night.”
“Or...” Jo says and I look over at her. She looks from Kinlee to Kaydence, then to me and all three are giggling.
“You could text Tommy,” Kaydence says and the second she says his name, my stomach flutters.
“What's his number? I'll tell him off. I don't care. Tommy's just my friend.” I put on a show, but that's not what I want to text him right about now, five glasses of wine in.
“Just friends.” Jo winks exaggeratedly.
“No telling anyone off tonight.” Kinlee slaps her hand over the phone.
“I'm not going to text him.” When Kinlee gets up to go to the bathroom, Kaydence goes with her. Jo stares at me until I laugh. “What?”
She pushes the phone toward me again. “I'm going to walk across this club and find the DJ and request some music I know. If you need me...or anyone else, just text.” Another exaggerated wink makes me snort out a laugh and I throw my head back.
I'm happy we took this trip, but as I pick up Kinlee's unlocked phone, nerves make me start to clam up.
Kinlee Hart: If I had my phone, I could be texting you from it. Maybe more private matters.
I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I'm drunk. This is a hall pass.