Jasper
Three Months Later
Spring break is always a really quiet time at Anchored. All of the professors and college students who are members are gone, but so are the members who are parents. They all have these incredible vacation plans for the week, which means that Anchored is basically empty, save for the two dozen or so members who actually show up.
It also means this is when June has everything deep cleaned, repaired, and new equipment brought in, new classes designed, and new employees brought in.
Tonight, she’s training a new bartender she’s bringing in. While June has been the bartender at Anchored for years, she wants to move into other aspects of the business. She loves owning the sex club. We all know that. Now that it’s grown so much, June wants to be able to be a little more hands-on when it comes to training, recruiting members, and even performing, and to be honest, I think she wants to do a little bit of playing herself.
One of the things I love about Anchored is that it allows for personal growth. If you join the club and you just want to watch people playing or performing scenes, that’s completely fine. If you want to jump right in and experience things firsthand, that’s all right, too. And if you change your mind or want to try something different than what you’ve been doing? That’s totally okay, as well.
June is a fantastic owner. She’s given so many people a safe place to play and explore sexual fantasies that they otherwise would never get the chance to. I love the fact that she had this vision for a safe kinky place and she made it happen. More people should have that sort of vision.
More of us should be brave.
“What do you think?” Ryder comes up beside me and jerks his head toward the new bartender. The young woman looks nervous and a little uncomfortable, but June is being really patient. Classic June. She’s always looking out for other people. She’s tough as nails, but she’s also got a heart of gold.
“I think she’s going to be just fine. She seems nervous, but she’ll get over that pretty quickly.”
Ryder chuckles and looks around the room. There are people playing and a couple of scenes happening, but nothing compared to most nights. On the busiest nights, Anchored can be overwhelming even for seasoned members. June was smart to bring in a new bartendress on a night when things aren’t too crazy.
“June is pretty good at calming people down,” Ryder says.
“She’s good at everything,” I agree. “How’s married life treating you, buddy?”
“Better than I ever imagined,” he admits. Ryder and June got engaged on Christmas night and had a quick, private wedding. A couple of people joked about it being a shotgun wedding, but the truth is that we’re all over-the-moon happy for the couple. June and Ryder are both hard workers, honest, and kind. They’re good people and they deserve to be happy.
This doesn’t stop just the tiniest bead of jealousy from forming in my heart.
It’s not that I don’t want them to be happy.
I do.
I just want something like that for me, and selfishly, I want that with Odessa.
“What about you, man?”
“What about me?”
Ryder’s eyes narrow. His Dom face.
“Are you seriously trying to Dom me?” I ask. “That doesn’t work on me, Ryder. I’m not a submissive.”
“What’s wrong, Jasper?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“He’s lying,” Zack says, coming up behind me. I turn around to glare at him, but he just smiles mischievously.
“I could have told you that,” Tony says.
“What is this? ‘Gang up on Jasper night’?”
“It’s more of an intervention, really,” Ryder says, and I realize I stupidly walked into their trap. When you’re hanging out with a group of Doms, they’re not going to let the little things slide. They’re not going to let you get by with doing things half-assed or not going after what you want.
“All right,” I sigh. “Just get it over with.”
“We’re worried about you,” Zack says. He’s never been one to beat around the bush. When I first met him, I wasn’t really sure what to think. Self-assured and a little bossy, Zack tells it how it is. He’s not being mean about it. He’s just very blunt. “You’ve been acting weird, and you’ve been avoiding dealing with Odessa.”
“There’s nothing to deal with,” I say.
I’ve never really talked about my feelings about Odessa. Not with the guys. Not with anyone. We had one wonderful night together and then I had to go away. I didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t contact her. I didn’t call her. I couldn’t. Not while I was in the field. As a military man, I’m used to having to leave on a moment’s notice.
I’m not used to leaving someone behind.
If she was my wife or we were living together, I would have told her I was leaving. She would have known right away. Honestly, I should have told her, anyway. I should have called her or texted her before I left. I should have just let her know, but I didn’t.
Why not?
Why did I fuck it up so badly?
It’s because it was one night.
I wanted more, and I knew I wanted more, but I didn’t want her to think I was turning into the clingy, possessive guy.
“Really?” Tony asks. “It doesn’t look like it’s nothing.”
“You two have been dancing around this relationship for months,” Ryder points out. “Why don’t you just apologize for whatever it is you did to fuck things up?”
“Me?” I ask, jaw dropping. “Why do you think I’m the one who fucked up? Maybe she did something. You guys don’t know.”
They all start laughing.
No, not just laughing: guffawing.
And they’re being so fucking loud that it draws the attention of other people in the club who start to glare at us. When June shoots us a nasty look from the bar and the new bartendress follows suit, the guys immediately stop.
“Damn,” Ryder eyes the new bartender. “June’s got her completely trained. That look will put anyone – Dom or sub – in their place.”
“You’re a lucky man,” Zack says.
“I know it,” Ryder agrees.
“What’s her name, anyway?” Tony asks. “I haven’t seen her around before.”
“She’s new,” I tell them. “Amelia.”
“Pretty,” Zack comments.
“Yeah,” I tell them, relieved the focus has finally shifted off of me. “She just moved to the area. She’s a grad student, I think.”
“That’s right,” Ryder says. “She goes to school with Odessa.”
“Speaking of whom…” Tony turns back to me and glares. “You need to apologize, Jasper.”
“No offense, Tony, but you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Actually,” he says. “I do.” His eyes narrow. “Or did you forget that I used to be a divorce attorney?”
Oops.
Yeah, I did.
I completely forgot.
Anthony used to be quite the shark when it came to divorces. He was a high-powered attorney and one of the best divorce lawyers in the city. He’d been thinking about making a change when he met his now-wife, Macie. She sort of won him over, stole his heart, and they fell madly in love. Shortly after, he left his corporate lawyer job to become the manager of her catering business. From what I can tell, things are going really well for them, but that doesn’t mean things have been easy.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Everyone has trouble and things they wish they could change and things they need to change. Anthony and Macie make it look easy, though. They really, truly adore each other.
Instead of being honest, I divert the question. “What does that have to do with me?”
All three men look at me, and then at each other.
“He’s dumber than I thought,” Zack says, shaking his head. “Come on, man. Life is short. You might not get another chance. She’s the one for you, isn’t she?”
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
In so many ways, yes.
I can’t even express it in words, but maybe that’s the problem. I know I’m not just some dumb military grunt, but I’ve hidden behind that mask for a very long time. Maybe I need to stop. Maybe it’s time to stop making excuses and start living.
Zack has a unique perspective on life being short because his wife was widowed. Her first husband died much too young and she was lost and alone when he met her. He wasn’t particularly experienced in BDSM or in being a Dom, but she brought out his protective nature and they fell into this beautiful relationship.
All of the men surrounding me now have been where I am, I realize, and they all got the girl.
Maybe I can, too.
Maybe it’s time to stop doubting myself, to stop being afraid, and to just admit that I need help.
Maybe it’s time to be honest.
“I love her,” I say, and Zack pats me on the shoulder.
“Welcome to the club, brother.”
“What club is that?”
“The ‘Doms Who Aren’t Good at Relationships’ club,” Ryder chuckles.
“No offense, but you all seem to have perfect relationships,” I point out.
They all laugh.
“You’ve got a lot to learn, man, but we’re going to help you,” Tony says. “We love Odessa. She’s a peach, but she’s been through a lot, Jasper.”
“I know she has. That’s why I haven’t pursued anything,” I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t want to be another guy that hurts her. She deserves better.”
“Then don’t hurt her,” Tony says, as if it’s the most simple thing in the world.
“It’s a little late for that,” I tell them. “I fucked up.”
“Why don’t you tell us exactly what happened?” Ryder says.
“We slept together,” I tell them. “And the next day, I was sent off on a mission.”
“That’s right,” Zack snaps his fingers. “Military.”
“Army,” I confirm. “And because of my classified position, sometimes I’m sent off on a moment’s notice.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t tell her you were leaving,” Ryder says.
“I couldn’t tell her how long I was going to be gone for or where I was going or what I’d be doing, so I just didn’t say anything. Plus, and I realize this isn’t an excuse, but I thought it was just a one-off thing.”
“You didn’t want her to think you were being clingy,” Zack says. “I get it.”
“Odessa is tender-hearted,” Tony nods. “But she’s stronger than you think, Jasper. You need to talk to her.”
“And soon,” Ryder says. “Before it’s too late, Jasper.”
They’re right, I realize, and I don’t want to wait another minute to talk to her. I can go see her at school or figure out where she’s working now. She quit the daycare. I know that much. Hell, I could even stop by her house. Bring her flowers or something. There are so many options running through my head and then I realize that I don’t have to utilize any of them because when I turn toward the front of the club, I see her.
“Speak of the devil,” Zack lets out a low whistle, and I don’t bother saying anything more to the men. I just go to her.