Odessa
The orgasm hits me like a tidal wave, washing over me until I feel like I’m going to drown with pleasure. Jasper’s hands are all over me as my body melts. I feel like I can’t even hold myself up anymore, but he holds me tightly, protecting me as I come.
And then it’s over.
I lean back against him and feel his breath against my ear.
“You’re perfect,” he says. “And so fucking wet, Odessa.”
He slides his fingers through my wetness, and instantly, I feel like I’m going to come again. Why does Jasper have such an effect on me? Yes, he’s sexy and handsome and beautiful to look at, but there’s more to it than that.
When I’m with him like this, I feel the way a submissive should. I feel powerful and strong. Yeah, submission is about giving part of yourself to the person you’re with, but it’s doing so with the knowledge that they’re going to protect you. You trust them, and you know they aren’t going to let you fall. That in and of itself is an incredible feeling.
Is it scary to be intimate with Jasper in a place I know we could be caught?
Yes.
Do I trust him no matter what?
Yes.
“Look at the water, Odessa,” he says. “Look how beautiful it is with the moonlight shining down on it.”
“So pretty,” I murmur in agreement.
“Now just think about how much prettier you are than all that,” he says. “You’re even more gorgeous than all of this, Odessa,” he says.
“Stop it,” I whisper, suddenly overcome with emotion. “You’re going to make me cry.”
No man has ever made me cry as much as Jasper has, and I don’t want to ruin this moment by letting my heart get carried away. I don’t want to think about how much I missed him while he was away or how sad I was when he didn’t call. I don’t want to think about how I’ve spent the last few months trying to get over him. I don’t want to think about how much it hurts when we aren’t together.
“I mean it,” he says. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, both inside and out.”
And then I do start to cry.
“Odessa,” he starts.
“I’m fine,” I whisper. I close my eyes, trying to force myself back into the magic of the moment. We were about to make love right here on the deck. We were about to fall into each other’s arms and everything was going to be okay, but instead of making love to me, he turns me around and pulls me into his arms.
“It’s okay to not be fine, Odessa.”
“No, it’s not.”
I should be stronger.
“Odessa, look at me,” he whispers, and I look up into those deep eyes. Jasper really has the kind of eyes you could lose yourself in. “You don’t have to be strong around me, okay? I know I let you down, princess. I know I messed up. I’ve made some huge mistakes and I know it might take a long time for you to forgive me. Maybe you’ll never forgive me, and that’s something I’ll have to come to terms with. I get it.”
“Jasper…”
“Baby, part of this whole Dom/sub things means you can be honest with me. That’s kind of the entire point, really.”
“I know,” I tell him.
“Do you?” He asks gently. “Because I get the feeling that you don’t really feel comfortable telling me when you need something. Is there some truth to that?”
I swallow hard. Okay, so maybe his Dom senses aren’t completely off. Maybe he really does know what he’s talking about.
“I’ve been through a lot,” I tell him.
“Let’s go inside,” he says. “It’s getting cold, and I’m sure we can find someplace more comfortable to talk.”
“In the club?”
“If you like,” he says. “Or we could go to my place. Your call, buttercup.” He traces my face gently, and I lean into his touch.
“Let’s go to your place,” I say. “I think being somewhere quiet could be a good way for us to start this thing off right.”
“It’s a plan,” he says. “First, let’s go talk to June.”
“Why June?”
Jasper shoots me a look. “Baby, do you really think I’m going to drag you off without telling anyone where you’re going to be?”
Of course.
I should have known Jasper would care about accountability.
Apparently, I really, totally, completely misjudged him. I wonder if it’s going to take me for-fucking-ever to move past the idea that he didn’t care about me. Obviously, we had some problems with miscommunication in the past, but he’s being honest now. More than that: he’s truly being what I think I need in a Dom.
He’s protecting me, guarding me.
People have this idea that BDSM is all about spankings and being tied up. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s about more than that, though. Sometimes it’s about being cared for, protected. Sometimes it’s about having someone who’s willing to help me when things get hard.
It’s about having someone who’s going to push me when I need to be pushed and who’s going to hold me when I need to be held.
When I was with Theodore, I absolutely adored him, but we were always a little bit off-sync. We worked great together in the club, but when it came to a personal relationship, things faltered. I shouldn’t have been sad when things ended. It was a long time ago at this point, but I was sad, and I did want more.
I wanted someone who would see me and love me for me.
Not for being the girl with the dead mom.
Not for being the girl who raised her brothers.
Not for being the super experienced submissive.
Tonight I feel like Jasper really sees me.
He helps me adjust me clothes and fix my corset, and then we go back into the club. The music hits my ears instantly, but it doesn’t stress me out. It calms me. I feel comfortable here, in this place. To me, Anchored isn’t just a place to play and pick up guys. It’s a place where I can actually be myself, where I can ask for what I need, and where I can be supported by people who understand what I’m going through.
Jasper holds my hand as we make our way inside the main room and head back to where June is training the new bartendress, Amelia. Amelia looks comfortable with her new role, and I get the feeling she’s going to do just fine here. She’s wearing a dark red corset that matches June’s, and the two of them make quite a pretty pair. Amelia smiles as we approach, and June looks up at us.
“Can I get you something, pretty girl?” June asks, looking from me to Jasper and back again. Her eyes hold questions and a little bit of a twinkle. June plays innocent, but she’s as much of a troublemaker as I am sometimes. You have to be a little bit of a troublemaker to dream up a place like Anchored, after all. June is mischievous and I think that’s why we get along so well.
“Actually,” I tell her carefully. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going home for the night.”
“Is that right?” June asks. “It’s early. Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay,” I tell her. “Just, you know…time to head home for me,” I say awkwardly. June cocks her head, trying to figure out what I’m telling her.
Jasper clears his throat.
“With Jasper,” I say finally, blushing a little. “I’m going home with Jasper. We’re going to his place, actually. I just wanted to let you know that, you know, I’ll be with Jasper tonight.”
Instantly, June’s demeanor changes and her eyes narrow. She might be a submissive with Ryder, but June is a classic switch and can play the perfect Domme when she wants to.
“Don’t fuck with her, Jasper,” June says.
She doesn’t try to talk me out of this. She doesn’t try to say it’s a bad idea or that Jasper hurt me in the past. June is all about second chances and forgiveness and moving forward, but she’s also very take-charge and confident. She’s not about to let Jasper mess with one of the submissives at her club.
Jasper’s body stills at her words.
“I mean it. You hurt her, then I’ll hurt you, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got an entire club full of hunky, muscular men who are more than willing to help me do it. Got it?”
A couple of Doms nearby turn to look at us, obviously wondering what’s caused sweet, mild-mannered June to be so suddenly intense. One of them nods knowingly, letting us know that yes, he will kick Jasper’s ass if necessary.
It’s moments like this I feel lucky to be a part of this club.
Something as simple as going home with a guy doesn’t have to be this big, scary thing. I have the support and love of my friends at the club. No matter what happens tonight, they’ve got my back, and they’re all rooting for me.
Just knowing that makes me feel better, stronger.
It makes me feel like I’ve got the world at my fingertips.
“Understood,” Jasper says. He doesn’t look scared of June, but I’m not sure how that’s possible because right now, even I’m scared of June, even just a little.
She looks back at me and smiles.
“Have a lovely time, you two,” she winks, suddenly all smiles again. We turn to leave, but she calls after me. “Oh, and Odessa? Call me in the morning, okay?”
“You got it,” I say.
Then Jasper and I leave the club and head to his place.