Colin

“So, I got a call this morning.”

“From who?” I asked.

“The landlord from that apartment complex I checked out a few days ago. I cleared all their hurdles, and the apartment is ready for me to move into. Isn’t that wonderful?”

I stopped brushing my teeth and glanced at Abby’s reflection in the mirror. She was standing at my double-sink as she rubbed moisturizer into her skin. She looked radiant as she talked about her own place. But a part of me was hurt by it. A part of me was hoping that if she stayed with me and saw how convenient and nice it could be, she would elect to stay. After all, we would be married in a few months anyway. Then she’d just have to move right back in.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked.

She gave me this dumbfounded look in the mirror before she grabbed for her toothbrush.

“Of course I’m sure. Look, I know you don’t understand, but I guess some of my parent’s old fashioned ways rubbed off on me. I don’t want to live with you until we’re married.”

“But we’ll be married in a few months. September, remember?”

“Did we agree on that?” she asked.

She gave me this innocent little look, but it felt like she was sidestepping.

“I thought we had, yes,” I said.

“Well, I want to make sure we take our time. You know, so we don’t rush into anything. Maybe we could make it September of next year?”

She started brushing her teeth like she hadn’t just pushed our wedding date back an entire year.

“Abby?”

“Yeah?”

“You know if you don’t want this, all you have to do is say so.”

Abby’s motions stopped as she turned her head towards me. Foaming toothpaste was dripping down her chin as her eyes slowly grew wide. She looked like a rabid dog in heat about to pounce on the first thing that pissed her off.

I’d seen many sides of Abby, but this one I had yet to witness.

“I just want to make sure we do this right. What’s wrong with that?” she asked.

Accepting her explanation for now, I tried to diffuse the exchange before she went back to cleaning herself up.

“Well, I don’t want you to take the subway or walk to work. I don’t want you getting hurt or lost until you can get your bearings,” I said.

“I have that SUV you bought me, remember? I can get around in that.”

“Just let me send a car for you for a couple of weeks. Just until you familiarize yourself with the city.”

“You forget I lived in California,” she said, grinning.

“But not Los Angeles.”

“Fine,” she said, before she spit. “You can send me a car or whatever. But don’t make it too flashy. I don’t want people staring at me.”

“Beautiful, I’m sorry to tell you this. We are engaged. And you’re my public relations representative. People are going to stare at you no matter what you do.”

I smiled at her in playful jest, but I saw her shoulders tense up. Was that the issue? Was she concerned about the man that popped out of the bushes? I’d kept my eyes on the media to see if any of those pictures surfaced, but nothing came of the encounter and no pictures of us surfaced.

But still, I could see how that type of situation could rattle someone unaccustomed to it.

“Look, I know you’re not used to this kind of attention yet. But it’ll grow on you. And we’ll always have our privacy, no matter what. You have my word on that,” I said.

“But what about my privacy?” she asked.

“That’s what I just said.

“No. You said ‘our’ privacy. But what about mine?”

I started spreading shaving cream around on my face before I wet my razor and went to work.

“You’ve been splitting hairs on that type of stuff these past few days. How come words like ‘ours’ and ‘us’ make you so uncomfortable?”

“They don’t,” she said.

“Could have fooled me.”

“I just don’t want to lose my identity, Colin. I did that with my ex. I lost everything to him, metaphorically and literally.”

“Okay, that’s all you had to say. Abby, I promise you that I can ensure our privacy as well as your own,” I said.

I knew that I needed to respect her decisions and I was trying my best. I was relenting to the apartment situation and I was trying not to interfere too much with how she worked her schedule. She would have to fall into her own natural rhythm with her job that was completely separate from mine. Even though I wanted to help her, I also needed to step back and give room to adjust and find her way. Like any employee, she was in a new atmosphere. She was going to be surrounded by new co-workers and have a new office setting. She would be traveling new streets, and hopefully finding new places for us to eat lunch.

Or for her to eat lunch.

“Are you free for lunch today?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said, grinning. “Where were you thinking?”

“I figured we could try this new restaurant. I want to try and find us a regular spot. You know, for when we need fast lunches with one another or something.”

“Lunch out, huh? I don’t know if my boss would approve of that.”

She gave me a wink in the mirror and it temporarily settled my nerves.

“I’m sure I could get him to come around to the idea,” I said.

“You better, because if I lose my job over you, I’m screwed.”

I would miss this. Getting ready with her in the mornings was nice. I’d settled into a routine that would suit me for the rest of my life. My alarm went off at six in the morning, and Abby would groan and curse underneath the covers. I’d slip out to get her coffee and watch as she lazily drank it on the edge of the bed, then the two of us would get into the shower together. I’d have a front row seat to watch the way the water dripped down the nipples of her wonderful bosom.

I was going to really miss the witty banter that occurred as we got ready to go to work.

“What’s your schedule like today?” Abby asked. “Anything I need to assist with?”

“Nope. Just more meetings. Since I fired the main project manager, now I’m taking his place until I can find one that’s worth a damn, or until we can get the kinks with this shit ironed out.”

“Cursing so early in the morning? Things must be rough,” she said.

“I never would have thought that busting into the European marketplace with a formal podcast platform would’ve been such a hell of a job. Hurdles everywhere, and I haven’t even started the team on the question-and-answer forum. There’s no formal sign-up page for them yet and I’ve got investors breathing down my neck. It’s just a lot.”

“Well, if you need me, you know where to find me,” she said. “I can’t offer advice, but I can be there to listen.”

It was comments like those that reassured me we were okay. The way her easy-going smile blossomed on her cheeks after she made such statements. Despite her hesitancy, and need to feel separate from me, things were flowing smoothly. While I wasn’t happy with some of the decisions she was making, I recognized that was part of compromising.

And compromising was one of the biggest obstacles in a marriage.

There were a lot of things I enjoyed about having her working alongside me, beyond just the fact that I could see her regularly. I also enjoyed the fact that everyone knew we were together. I didn’t have to hide how I looked at her, and we didn’t have to conceal our hugs or kisses on the cheek. I respected her want to keep things professional, but every so often I would sneak a kiss to the side of her neck.

It was nice to be met with people who smiled instead of people who judged.

After all my meetings were done for the morning, I stopped by Abby’s office. I wanted to see if we were still on for lunch, but if she was busy I didn’t want to disturb her. I looked through her office window and saw her head tilted towards her desk, her phone in her ear and her mouth talking away, though I couldn’t hear what she said. I waited until she was off the phone before I went in, and the smile that crept across her face warmed my heart.

“Lunch time already?” she asked.

“Yep. You ready?”

“Give me a minute to finish writing down a couple things. Meet you at the elevator, okay?”

My eyes couldn’t take in enough of her. The way her calves flexed in her heels. The way her pencil skirts hugged her hips. The way her flowing blouses teased revealing the swell of her breasts underneath while still being professional. The pantyhose that kept her legs warm whenever the L.A. breeze kicked up. She was a vixen. An eyeful of exquisite beauty. There wasn’t an inch of her that hadn’t been discovered by me, yet she still had the ability to take my breath away.

I was the luckiest man alive.

After escorting her to my car, I kissed her before she got in. The restaurant I had in mind specialized in gourmet pizzas, and I couldn’t wait for her to try it. It was her favorite type of takeout, and one I’d shared with her for the first time her second night in L.A. I’d laughed when she told me to get two pizzas, and then I watched her devour an entire pepperoni and mushroom pizza all by herself. It was impressive, and I enjoyed watching the smile on her face as she ate every last slice.

When we pulled up to the restaurant, there were a few paparazzi camping outside. I didn’t think they were following us. This type of place was known for its more infamous clientele. But I could see the hesitation growing behind Abby’s eyes as I pulled in and parked.

“Abby, look at me,” I said.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“Just smile at me and ignore them. This is normal for a restaurant like this. These guys are scattered throughout L.A. to get candid shots of the rich and famous.”

“Yeah, okay. I can do that,” she said.

“You are a brilliant P.R. rep, Abby,” I said, smiling. “You’ll get in a groove and find that you handle them much more naturally than you are thinking right now.”

I climbed out of the car and went to open her door. Taking her hand, I helped her to her feet, then held her close to my side. Our fingers were laced as the cameras turned towards us, shutters clicking at exorbitant speeds as flashes went off in our vision. I looked over at Abby and smiled, trying to catch a glimpse of what she was doing as we walked up the steps.

It wasn’t until we got into the restaurant that I spotted the look of panic behind her eyes.

“It’s okay. Come here. They aren’t allowed inside,” I said.

I wrapped my arm around her as our hostess sat us at our booth, but Abby’s strange demeanor didn’t fade.

It was odd for someone in P.R. to be that squeamish around cameras. She seemed to handle them so well at the conference, with her head held high and her shoulders rolled back. Where was that woman now? Everyone knew we were together, and not just the people in our office. The nation—the world—knew we were engaged. They knew we were wildly in love and getting married.

What was she panicking about?

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just—wow, that was a lot of flashing. I almost couldn’t see in front of me.”

“You’ll get used to it,” I said. “The best thing to do is actually look down a bit. Not right into their lenses, but down at their feet. They get the smile they want and you get to keep your vision.”

“Do they ever go away?” she asked.

A look of exhaustion swept across her stare before she lowered her eyes to the menu. It was like she had asked me a rhetorical question. A question that was running through her head, though she hadn’t meant to blurt it out. She was on edge during our entire meal and barely touched her food. It all had me worried.

“You don’t like it?” I asked.

“No, no. It’s good pizza. I’m just—distracted is all,” she said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

“They’re not allowed to, you know—just stand outside the apartment or whatever, are they?”

“No,” I said. “But that is one of the reasons why I’d prefer to have a car fetching you in the mornings. Until you can get your bearings and learn how to deal with them, at least. The driver is well-versed in how to handle those types of situations.”

“Ah,” she said.

“Abby, if you’d like something else from the menu—”

“The pizza’s fine,” she said, with a curt smile. “I promise.”

I watched her closely as she picked up her fork and her knife. I watched with flagrant curiosity as she began to cut into her pizza. Small chunks made it from the plate to her mouth, and not once did she try to pick it up with her fingers. There weren’t too many meals I’d had with her where there wasn’t something she ate with her fingers, and now it was like she was afraid to touch it.

“Abby, please talk to—”

My phone rang on my hip and I groaned in frustration. I should have given us more time off to bond as a couple before throwing us back into this hectic world. I pulled my phone from my coat pocket, and once I saw who was calling, I knew I would have to excuse myself to take the call. I held up my finger to Abby as she gave me a weird glance, and I could feel her eyes on the back of my neck as I got up and walked away from the table.

“Hey there,” I said. “You got anything for me?”

“Yes, but I’d rather do it in person. You at your office?”

“I will be after lunch. Gimme twenty minutes?” I asked.

“I’ll be here. And trust me, it’s just as grimy as you thought.”

I hung up the phone and stuffed it back into my pocket. I turned and made my way back towards the table, watching Abby slowly cut into her pizza. I knew she was hungrier than that, she had to be starving. I’d been near her all morning, and all she’d had was the cup of coffee I brought her.

Still, I figured pushing her would just make matters worse, so I dropped the topic.

Fifteen minutes later, I paid and we were back on the road. I tried to convince Abby to take her pizza with her, but she said she was full. She kept making excuses about not wanting greasy fingers or greasy papers and shit like that, and I was no longer in the mindset of trying to argue with her.

Something bigger had come up, and now I had to figure out how to protect Abby.

With a chaste kiss, I dropped her at her office where she slipped inside and shut the door. I listened as she dropped her coat and walked across the room. I continued to listen as she sat down into her chair, and heaved a massive sigh before she picked up the phone and called someone.

I wished she would just talk with me.

“Colin.”

“Coming,” I said.

I backtracked to my office across the hall before I shut the door.

“What is it, Arthur?”

“It’s bad,” he said. “And it’s probably why she’s been so preoccupied.”

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Her ex is suing her,” Arthur said.

“Excuse me?’”

“Yeah. I know you hired me just to make sure there was nothing in her past that could surface in the media, but let’s face it. They’ll always find something. But as I was digging, I found all sorts of shit on her ex.”

Arthur handed me a manila envelope filled with pictures, official paperwork, and bank account statements with negative values in them.

“How the hell could this fucker be broke?” I asked. “He stole forty thousand dollars from her.”

“Not technically, since they’d lived together for a year and his name was on the bank account. But that’s the problem. Since they were together for so long and since his name was on the bank account, he’s suing her for half of everything she has.”

“Which isn’t much,” I said.

“Until she marries you.”

“Wait, that’s a thing?” I asked.

“You’d be amazed at how complex California’s state laws are.”

My eyes slowly panned up to Arthur’s as I started to bite my lip.

“Abby mentioned something to me this morning about pushing back the wedding date,” I said.

“I wouldn’t jump the gun yet,” Arthur said. “According to the paperwork, he’s lawyered up but he hasn’t served her with any papers so far.”

“So she doesn’t know what’s going on?” I asked.

“Not officially. If she keeps in contact with him, or if he’s contacted her in any way, he might be holding it over her head. I stopped searching when I came across this because I felt it was more important.”

“Is there anything that shows he’s tried to contact her?” I asked.

“That’s my next route.”

“And you say he’s lawyered up?”

“He has. His lawyer’s decent enough,” he said.

“It’s not a company issue so I can’t use in-house counsel. Start looking into lawyers. The best L.A. has to offer. I want someone on standby when this fucker decides to get real,” I said.

“Will do.”

“In the meantime, look into his communications. Not Abby’s, but his. I trust Abby, but not him.”

“Do you?” he asked.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Look, I know this started as you wanting to make sure nothing could blindside Abby in the media when they started picking her apart or whatever, but isn’t that mistrust anyway? Instead of just getting to know her and having her tell you herself, you resort to hiring a P.I. to dig up her past?”

“This how you keep clients? Because from one businessman to another, it’s a shitty pitch,” I said.

“Just something to think about. I’ll work on the other stuff in my spare time.”

“Thanks,” I said.

I escorted Arthur to the elevator and turned around to see Abby walking out of her office. She offered me a smile and a kind wave before she made her way to my secretary, her body hunched over at the desk. My mind started running through the conversations we’d had over the past few days. The hesitation that was slowly surfacing over the wedding and the insistence on everything being separate for now. If she knew this was going on with her ex, it made sense for her to be acting this way. But that also meant she was keeping a very large secret from me.

However, if she knew nothing about this, then it meant her hesitation and her need to be separate was coming from somewhere else.

And I wasn’t willing to entertain options as to where it was coming from.