Abby

“Hey, Mom.”

“Well, hello there, stranger! We were starting to wonder if Colin had swept you away to a private island or something.”

“Nope, nothing like that,” I said, grinning. “Just been very busy since I got to L.A.”

“So, how are you liking it? Being back in California and everything?”

“It’s kind of surreal.”

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked.

“I mean, I’m in my own apartment now. First day of unpacking.”

“Well, that’s exciting! Where are you located? Are you on the water like Colin? Oh, I bet it’s a beautiful view.”

“Nope. I’m actually smack in the middle of Los Angeles. The night life is incredible and the city’s just so full of life,” I said.

“I’m surprised you didn’t just move in with Colin.”

I stumbled over the edge of a box and caught myself on the wall.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart. You spent Christmas night with him. You’ve taken three road trips with him. The two of you are worlds away from your father and me.”

“But you beat that stuff into me. Old fashioned romance with courtship, no kissing on the first date, and never live with someone until you’re married.”

“Never stopped you before,” my mother said. “Why’d you let it stop you now?”

I leaned my back against the wall and slid to the floor as I curled my knees up to my chest.

“Because I think I’m having second thoughts,” I said.

“I figured it might happen,” she said.

“You did?”

“Well, yeah. You and Colin haven’t known each other that long at all. A few months, and in that timeframe you’ve spent maybe four weeks with one another. Trust me, your father and I were very taken aback when he called and told me his plans.”

“But you still gave your approval?”

“We did,” I said. “Wanna know why?”

“Um. Yes, I do.”

“Because your father and I could see how much Colin loves you.”

A warmth spread across my chest as a smile graced my cheeks.

“We saw the way you looked at him on Christmas. We saw how much you missed him after the New Year. We figured this was a change of pace from your first marriage. You know, since the two of you took things so slow.”

“I wish you were here,” I said.

“I know, sweetheart. Use this time to get to know Colin. If you feel awkward about having a wedding this year, then tell him. Be honest. Open communication is key to any relationship, not just marriage. Date one another. Open up to him over dinners. Make yourself available sexually when all else fails.”

“Mom. Geez,” I said, snickering and only slightly grossed out to be having such a conversation with my mother.

“Even when two people who love each other don’t like each other very much, sexual experiences can bring them together in ways that words sometimes cannot.”

“Ew. Can you please stop talking about it?” I asked.

“Why? Hard to picture your mother getting hers?”

“That’s it, I’m hanging up,” I said flatly.

“My point is, no matter how fast or slow you take a relationship, it takes three things—trust, work, and communication. Do you trust Colin?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Do you communicate with Colin?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Does he know the content of this conversation?” she asked.

“Well—no.”

“Then you’re not communicating with him. I should’ve been the second person you talked to about this. Colin should have been the first.”

I sighed as I placed my forehead on my knees.

“If you don’t trust your own judgement right now, then trust mine. I’ve seen how Colin makes you smile. I’ve seen how you light up his eyes. I saw the joy in your face the minute he got down on his knee. You can’t fake that, sweetheart. No one can. You’re scared because you think you’ve become engaged to a stranger. In some ways you have, so have a long engagement if you like. There’s nothing wrong with that. The two of you will go on to do wonderful things together, and I can picture the life you’ll build. But none of that will happen if you don’t talk with him.”

“I hear you, Mom,” I said.

“Good. Now, is there anything else?”

“What? You got a hot date or something?” I asked.

“You didn’t want me saying that word anymore, so I’ll simply say yes.”

“Oh, yikes. Okay. You—uh, never mind. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” she said, giggling.

Hanging up the phone, I tossed it down the hallway. I felt a little better after talking to my mother, but not by much. I wished she was here so I could talk to her face to face. To make sure she wasn’t telling me what I wanted to hear versus what I needed to hear. I still felt apprehensive—as if something was wrong. There was something looming in the air, I could feel it. I was experiencing Colin’s world for the first time. The business side of him that dominated his life when he wasn’t trekking across the country in rental cars with crazy women.

And I wasn’t sure I was enjoying it.

My phone started ringing down the hallway and I sighed. It was time for me to start getting ready for my dinner with Colin and I couldn’t find the box I’d packed my towels in. I couldn’t even remember if I’d packed towels, and as I went to get my phone I made a mental note to make a list of shit I needed.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hello there, beautiful. I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“Don’t tell me California’s broken off from the rest of the country. I don’t think I could handle another earth-shifting event today,” I said.

“That bad, huh?” Colin asked.

“Your voice is a great comfort.”

“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but something’s come up and I have to cancel dinner.”

“Business meetings?” I asked.

“Not quite,” he said.

“Does this have something to do with that fun little phone call you took in the pizza restaurant a couple of days ago?”

“You remember that?”

“You physically got up and left the table. You’ve never done that with a phone call,” I said.

“It is. It’s an emergency and I need to handle it before things get any worse.”

“Colin, is something wrong?” I asked.

“It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. I just feel like every time I turn around I’m putting out fires instead of planting more trees.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“It’s not your fault. I want to reschedule, though. Tomorrow night, maybe? I’ll take you out somewhere wonderfully special. Somewhere that requires a little black dress and some dazzling jewelry I just might buy you.”

“Colin, you know none of that’s necessary. Why don’t you just bring over a bottle of wine and we’ll order takeout?” I asked.

“Let me treat you to something nice, okay? I love it when you let me spoil you.”

I sighed, as I laid down in the carpeted hallway of my new apartment.

“Okay,” I said. “But you be careful with—whatever this is.”

“I will, I promise. Call you later on?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I hung up the phone and it felt hard to breathe. There was suddenly this loneliness that sat on my chest, robbing me of the very breath that I needed in order to cry. What was the big deal? What was the massive emergency? Here my mother had just got done talking with me about how communication was important and shit, and now Colin was openly hiding some emergency from me. Was he okay? Had something happened with his business?

Oh holy hell, had something appeared on the news?

I scrambled for my television and quickly began setting it up. I cut myself screwing in cables and shit before I plugged the television in. I got the cable box installed and finally had the thing running the setup routine scanning for channels. The longer it took the more impatient I became.

“Come on, you piece of shit. Work with me.”

After what seemed like ten hours of searching for things, the channels started appearing. The local news popped up with a worldwide news feed scrolling underneath it and I began flipping through channels. I memorized the number of every news station I had on the cable provider I’d selected, but there was nothing to me that signaled any sort of emergency.

Whatever it was, it was a private matter, and it only fueled my worry.

What if we had jumped into this too soon?